My Last First Kiss

by Weston Parker

  “Come on, Autumn. It won’t take five minutes.” He let out a huff as I met his eyes and pulled away.

  “How romantic.” The look in my eyes challenged him to our first fight as husband and wife, and when I turned to walk out, he grabbed my arm.

  “Aw, Autumn. Don’t be mad. It’s our wedding day. I just wanted it to be memorable. I’ve missed you.” I’d only been away from him for one entire day, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for us, but he continued on as if we’d been apart forever. “I thought about you last night and how happy I am to be with you. What a great life we’re going to have.” He looked into my eyes and was so sincere that I couldn’t help but smile.

  I believed every word, and it only made me more eager to get to the reception and enjoy ourselves with our friends and family.

  “We will have a great life. How could we not together?” I leaned in and kissed his lips, but in my heart, I was still more concerned with Emmett and what was going on with him. “Let’s go out there.”

  “Fine, but tonight, you’re all mine.” Jason kissed down my neck and then nuzzled my ear. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” We took a moment to hold each other, and then as we turned to walk out, I took his hand. “Did you notice anything wrong with Emmett?”

  “Emmett? No. He seemed all right to me. He’s probably just thinking that now that we’re married, I won’t have time to hang out with him.” Jason had a point. Emmett had always felt like a third wheel at times, even though he never was in mine and Jason’s eyes, but he had been distant since I told him we were going to be married.

  We went out into the hallway and headed for the reception room doors. “That’s probably it. I just wondered if there was anything else.”

  Jason turned his eyes away and then looked back at me with a sigh. “I’m sure he’ll tell you today.”

  I pulled his hand, and we stopped in the middle of the hall. “Tell me what?”

  “He didn’t want you to know until after the wedding.”

  “The wedding is over, so you better start talking.” Jason met my eyes, and I knew with that one look that he wasn’t going to tell me. “Fine, I’ll ask him myself.” I turned and walked into the room with the sole purpose of finding him, but as I opened the door, the deejay interrupted the music and announced us.

  Jason and I walked into the crowd of our family and friends, who all clapped and cheered for us. Then it was on to the dances and taking photographs.

  It wasn’t until after we cut the cake and the crowd lined up to eat that I saw my mother pull Emmett from a table in the corner where he seemed to be hiding out. He never was one for social engagements and had always hung back from the crowd at birthday parties, too.

  “Look who I found.” Mom dragged him across the room behind her. “I think he thought he’d get away without having a dance, but since your father isn’t here to dance with you, I think Emmett should do the honor.”

  I could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t want to do it, but since he was keeping something secret until after the wedding, I wasn’t so inclined to let him off the hook. “I’d love a dance, Emmett. Thank you, Mom.” I turned and took his hand as he let out a long sigh.

  “You know how much I hate this.”

  I walked him to the middle of the dancefloor. “Stop being a baby. No one is looking at us. They all want cake.”

  At that moment, the deejay announced us. “Autumn has a very special guest, the man who gave her away today, who not only has been in her life for as long as anyone can remember but is also the groom’s best friend and someone we might hold responsible for this occasion. Let’s give it up for Emmett Burke!”

  The crowd cheered again, and Emmett’s eyes widened. “Right, no one is looking. They all want cake.”

  The slow song played, and Emmett led me around on the dancefloor as I looked up to see my mother standing with the deejay.

  “You know this doesn’t mean things have to change, right? We’ll still be together; you’re still our best friend.” I placed my hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes, hoping he’d tell me what was going on.

  “We’re growing up, Autumn. Things are bound to change a little.”

  “Tell me, Emmett.” I wasn’t going to stop dancing with him until he spilled whatever it was he wasn’t telling me.

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Jason told me a minute ago that you’re keeping something from me.”

  He threw his head back and took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to cloud the day, Autumn. You’ve waited for this since we were kids.”

  “Right, and don’t think I forgot about my first wedding. Or my first groom.” I had dressed him up in one of my father’s suit coats and made him play my groom for the first time when we were about seven.

  He gave a half-hearted laugh. “Those times didn’t count.”

  “They did. They counted for a lot. And don’t think you’re going to distract me. I want to hear it, Emmett. What’s so horrible that it’s going to cast a horrible shadow on my day?” I laughed it off, not really thinking there was anything he could ever do to cause my disapproval.

  “I’m leaving soon.”

  “For college? I thought you were going local.” He had been very smart in school, graduating just under me at the top of our class, so I knew he had options.

  “I joined the Marines. I signed the final papers yesterday, and I leave in a couple of weeks.”

  I felt as if someone threw ice water on me. “So, you won’t be around. You should have told me before the wedding, Emmett. I would have spent more time with you.”

  “While you were planning your wedding? I knew you had a lot on your plate with all of this.”

  I’d been so busy with my whirlwind wedding; I hadn’t thought that anything would change. I surely didn’t expect him to be moving on to a life that meant he would be going away.

  When Jason had proposed to me back at spring break, I had started planning immediately, knowing I wanted to marry him as soon as possible so we’d have the entire summer as husband and wife before us starting college would cut our time in half.

  My mother and father had reluctantly given me their blessing, and my father and I had a heart to heart about me working for him and being self-sufficient in case it didn’t work out. He had always wanted me to go to work for him, and now, I agreed. But even with all of that, I’d expected Emmett to always be around, and for that, I guessed I’d not only been thinking selfishly but unrealistically.

  I needed to be proud of him and proud that he was making something of himself, for himself. His father sure hadn’t helped him get a leg up. He was an abusive asshole who not only tormented Emmett, but his younger brother Paul, too. Paul didn’t handle things as well as Emmett did, and he was a troubled kid, especially when Emmett wasn’t around to look after him.

  “What about Paul?” I couldn’t believe he’d leave him.

  “He’s going to be fine. I can’t keep making him my responsibility, or I’ll never have a life of my own. Not only that, Autumn, but we have family who will check on him.”

  It still seemed rather sad. I worried that Paul would not survive Emmett being gone, and I wondered if I would, either. “I’ll miss you.”

  “You’ll be just fine, too. You have Jason to look after you, and you and he are going to have a wonderful life together.” The music stopped, and he rubbed my shoulders before letting me go.

  “It won’t be the same without you around. Promise me that you’ll keep in touch?” I watched his face as it seemed to convey a million emotions, and yet, didn’t change much at all.

  “Hey, man, can I have my wife back now?” Jason walked up, and the two shook hands.

  “Congratulations, man. I hope you know how lucky you are, and I only hope that one day I have someone as special in my life.”

  “You will. Of course, she won’t be as hot or as awesome as my wife, but you’ll be happy.” Jason and Emmett rarely
had a serious moment. “I guess you told her?” Jason looked at us.

  “Yeah, she kind of pulled it out of me.”

  “Well, it’s all good news, right? I mean, you need to get away. It will do you some good.” Jason knew the pressures that Emmett was under at home and how it was affecting him.

  “Yeah, I really should be going. I have a meeting with my recruiter.”

  “Please stay. You should eat something.” I knew when he walked out of that room, it would be the last time I saw him for a while.

  “I wish I could, but I really need to go.” He shook Jason’s hand, and then I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him close to me, catching the stray tear before it ruined my makeup.

  “Thank you for everything.”

  He gave me one last smile and then walked out of my life.

  Chapter 3

  Emmett

  10 years later

  I hadn’t planned on making a career of the military, and now that I had finally completed my engineering degree, I was making plans to end my commitment and not re-enlist. After seeing that it was a great big world for the past ten years, I was ready to find my place in it, a different place, one with no camouflage.

  “Hey, Burke.” I heard the voice call behind me and turned just in time for Hardin to pull out a chair next to me.

  “How’s it going, Hardin? What are you going to pretend you’re eating today?”

  He put his plate down and then sat beside me. “Today, this is going to be a plate of barbecue ribs from this little place down in Texas called Carolina’s. She makes the best barbecue of anyone anywhere, and you can mark my words on that one. I used to have it every time I passed through that town.”

  Hardin had never eaten a military meal in his life, at least in his head. He also got the best care packages from home and was never without a cookie in his pocket, even though he was one of the fittest soldiers I had ever known.

  “I heard you finished your degree. That’s really great, man.” Hardin was always one to offer friendship and support, and he had been one of my oldest friends in the service. I’d met him my second year, and we’d been close since.

  “Thanks. I hope I don’t have too many more days of this.” I pointed to my plate and wished I could daydream as vividly as my friend.

  “What do you mean? Carolina’s is the best.” He picked up his fork and brought a lump of potatoes to his lips. “Best damned barbecue in Afghanistan.”

  Hardin was always good for easing the stress of the day. After a moment, he put his fork down. “How do you do it, Burke? I mean, you finished your degree, man. That’s a wonderful accomplishment. You are the most disciplined person I know here, and that’s saying a lot in this place.”

  “Thanks. I guess I don’t have much to distract me from my goals.” It had taken me a little bit of time to figure out what I wanted, and once I got things lined out, I spent all of my free time studying.

  “That’s what I mean. Who you got to share your dreams with, man? You don’t have a woman back home, do you? Cause I never hear about your family or hear you talk about anyone in your life.”

  “I haven’t had time. I’ve been studying and working.” Being deployed had made it hard to find company, too, and unlike some of the others who didn’t mind meaningless sex with whoever had a hole, I was more careful. Sure, I’d had my fair share of beautiful women since joining, but I didn’t have nearly as many crazy sexual adventures as some. Most were nothing more than a release, and some had actually been good friends to me since, but no one I’d confide in or share the good news with.

  “Man, trust me. That shit ain’t much without someone to love at the end of the day. Someone to live for.” He had told me all about his wife and kids and how they meant everything to him. Not only had I seen all of his family pictures and the things his kids would send him—pictures they’d drawn and gifts they’d sent—but I’d also seen the smile on his face, and I envied him for having a family.

  It wasn’t like I heard from Paul, although that really wasn’t his fault, seeing that he was still young when I left, and the last thing I’d heard from our father was that he stayed in trouble. That was the last time I’d spoken with our father, too. He had made it clear that with me walking out on the family, he didn’t want me to come back around. He called me a traitor to the family and had no regard for the fact that I was serving our country and hoping to better myself.

  He’d never been much for encouragement. He hadn’t been there for any of my achievements, and I’d written him off years before the military came into my life. Yeah, that wasn’t the kind of story I wanted to tell Hardin. Not when his own family was so loving and seemingly perfect.

  I couldn’t help but think of Autumn, and I wanted to tell him that I had loved once, and maybe I still did. I could tell him all about her and how wonderful she was. How I let her slip through my hands, and even worse, how she ended up marrying my best friend. I knew if I told him those things, I’d look like a real dumbass, and the last thing I wanted was to look stupid or be pitied. “I get what you’re saying, man, and I appreciate the encouragement, but I figure I have the rest of my life for love and relationships.”

  Hardin shook his head. “Life’s short, man.”

  The explosion happened so fast that neither of us had time to move. The wall across the room was turned to rubble, and part of the ceiling sagged above us as a cloud of dust and debris billowed around us. The place was going to come down any minute. We flipped our table over as some came to take cover, and others were doing the same thing to try and figure out their next move.

  Everything was muffled, and I felt like I was vibrating, as if someone had rung my bell. The only clear sound was my heartbeat, which was pumping ninety to nothing. I tried to keep calm, not wanting to blackout from the rush, and my first instinct was to assess the situation.

  “We’ve got to move.” I looked up, and the others were already starting to scatter. Some that had crouched down with us rushed for the door, but I wasn’t sure if that was going to take them anywhere.

  “Come on, man. I’ve got too much to live for.” Hardin jumped up and ran for it, but I had to go after him to make sure we could find a clear, safe exit.

  As soon as I got to the door, there was another explosion, and this time, the roof came down along with the other three walls. It crashed down on us, pushing us to the floor.

  Hardin cried in pain, and the sound of agony filled the area, along with gunfire and smaller explosions in the distance. The air around us was filled with smoke. I bent down and cleared the rubble away from Hardin, only to find his leg was ripped open and bloody.

  Other than a few cuts and scratches, I was fine. “I’ve got you, man.” I picked Hardin up and held him against me, and then we limped out away from the smoke, hoping to find shelter.

  As the smoke cleared, I noticed the gunfire between our soldiers and the enemy was dangerously close, but if we didn’t move, we’d be dead soon enough.

  I turned to Hardin, who was growing weaker by the second; his dark face, ashen. “We have to make it to the other side. Are you sure you’ll be able to go?”

  “What other choice do I have? If we stay here, we’re dead.” Hardin ground his teeth so hard that I could see the muscles in his jaw twitch. Then, with what seemed like all his might, he shifted on the bad leg, and I worked to take the weight off of it. We waited until our men gave us the all-clear and darted across the area, tripping over debris until the ground became much clearer. Hardin went down, and I stopped to pick him up, draping his body over me as we got to the other side.

  I never even felt the bullet as it went into my chest, but as soon as I put Hardin down, I collapsed. The last thing I remembered was turning cold and the taste of dirt and blood in my mouth.

  Chapter 4

  Autumn

  I had just gotten off the phone with a client when Jonathan Blackwell came into the room with a big smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes for me.

  �
��Good afternoon, Jonathan.” I hadn’t expected him to sit down, but then, he always made himself at home around me, especially since my divorce.

  “Good afternoon, Autumn. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion, but I wanted to share the good news in person.”

  “I appreciate that. What’s the good news?” I waited for him to tell me that the good news was that he’d made dinner reservations or gotten tickets to a play, which was his usual attempt at getting me to go out with him.

  “Look for yourself.” He opened his briefcase and pulled out a short stack of papers which he slid across my desk.

  I studied the numbers on the page and realized that the company was doing better than ever. Our numbers had increased in all the right places, while lowering where it mattered. “This is amazing! Has my father seen this?”

  “Yeah, I just left his office. He’s very proud of you and your work, and I must say, I can’t blame him. You’ve done a fine job here, Autumn. You and your father together are a powerhouse team. You’re going to take this company to new heights.”

  “I won’t tell him you said so. He seems to think that since he spent my childhood developing this company, he’s the master.”

  “How about we go out and celebrate? I could make reservations at that little Italian place you love so much across town.”

  “I appreciate it, but no, I can’t. I have to go and get Penelope from school.”

  He leaned in closer to my desk. “I meant later tonight, of course. I mean, I think we’d have fun, and I’m sure you could find a sitter for your daughter.”

  “It’s the weekend, Jonathan. I appreciate your offer, but I spend my Friday nights with my daughter.”

  “Don’t you think its time you moved on? I mean, I know your husband was unfaithful, but you’ve been divorced for eight months now.” I thought it was funny that he kept count of the months.