A Sense of Security: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 6)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  It was close to 10:30 before the buzzer sounded to alert him that the outer gates were opening. Marcus got to his feet and walked to the security panel to watch as Alicia’s car drove past the cameras strategically placed along the long driveway. Though he told himself he needed to stay in his office, in the end, he was standing in its doorway when Alicia walked through the front door. She didn’t see him at first, but he must’ve made a noise that alerted her to his presence because her head jerked up and turned in his direction.

  The shattered look on her pale face was like a punch to him. Without thought, Marcus closed the distance between them and cupped her face in his hands. Her eyes were red and swollen as if she’d been crying. Though there didn’t seem to be sadness in her gaze, there was a deep tiredness.

  “Are you okay?” Marcus asked, surprised that he could force the words past the tightness in his throat. “Did something happen?”

  Alicia stared up at him, her dark eyes wide and framed by long lashes that looked spiky with dampness. He felt her fingers wrap around his wrists and waited for her to push his hands away, but instead, it felt as if she was hanging onto him. Using his strength to hold herself up. Moisture welled up in her eyes and spilled over when she blinked. Marcus used his thumbs to try and sweep away the moisture from her cheeks.

  “What’s happened?” he prompted her again. “Can you tell me?”

  Clearly, she did not understand the overwhelming urge he had to protect her from whatever was causing her such emotional distress.

  Her eyelids slowly lowered, and she let out a long shaky breath. When she looked at him again, it seemed as if some of the emotion within her was calming. “I’ll tell you, but not tonight. I’m so tired, and I just need some time to myself to think. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?”

  Though Marcus was hesitant to let another hour, let alone a night, pass without knowing what was causing her such distress, it was clear from looking at her that she was in a truly fragile state. Pushing her to relive whatever had occurred over the past few hours might do more harm than good to their relationship. Or whatever it was that existed between them.

  With great reluctance, Marcus lowered his hands from Alicia’s face. He felt her fingertips slip across his skin as she released her hold on his wrists. He wanted to ask her one more time if she was okay, but he bit back the words. Since he couldn’t offer her verbal support, he settled for wrapping her in his arms and holding on tight. She didn’t resist at all, and he was relieved when he felt her breathing deepen and the tension ease from her body.

  Afraid that if he didn’t let go soon, he never would, Marcus slowly let his arms slide from around her as he said, “If you need to talk, you know where to find me.” He gestured to the office. “I’ll probably be up for a couple more hours.”

  She looked up at him with more emotion on her face than he had ever seen, and some of it made his breath catch in his lungs. Stepping back from him, she said, “Thank you.”

  As she slipped past him, heading towards the stairs that led to her bedroom, Marcus turned to watch her go. His gaze followed her slight figure as she mounted the staircase and then disappeared into the hallway beyond. He stood there for a few more minutes then he turned and retreated to his office, hoping that now that Alicia was safe within the walls of the mansion he would be able to focus on his work.

  ~*~

  Once Alicia reached her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She inhaled and exhaled several times as she pressed her head back against the hardwood surface of the door. Given what she had expected of her conversation with Doug and Caroline, things had gone remarkably well. But still, the emotions of the evening had been overwhelming for her. Marcus’s obvious concern for her and his hug had just added to it.

  Finally, Alicia pushed away from the door and went through her nighttime routines. Only when she finally lay beneath the blankets of her bed, with the room in total darkness, did she allow herself to finally think of everything that had gone on at Doug and Caroline’s.

  Though her plan had been to reveal everything as soon as she walked in the door, Doug and Caroline had had a different plan. Doug had answered the door and ushered her into the living room where Caroline waited in her rocker by the window. She had gotten to her feet and given Alicia a hug before pressing a kiss to her forehead. That unexpected action pulled her emotion to the surface, but somehow she managed to contain it while taking a seat on the couch next to Doug. But she lost it completely when Doug had asked her if it would be okay if he prayed before she told them the reason for her visit.

  What followed had been a very painful, and yet cathartic, release as she’d shared, in detail, for the first time, what her life had been like with Sherri Leighton. Adding to the pain she felt were the tears in both Doug and Caroline’s eyes as they listened to her story. That had been totally unexpected, and it made her wish, not for the first time, that she had grown up as part of the McKinley family instead of with her mother.

  When she’d finished sharing everything, Doug’s first words were that he was so proud of her. That in spite of the childhood she’d had, she had turned into a wonderful young woman. He commented as well that it was like she had basically raised herself, and Alicia knew that there was truth in those words. Growing up, she hadn’t realized that families like the McKinleys had existed outside of television and books. She hadn’t sought out friendships in high school because she knew she’d never want to take anyone to her house. The last thing she needed was a friend who would witness how her mother treated her.

  Alicia understood now, as an adult, why her mother felt the way she did, but she also knew that her mother could’ve made different choices. And not just about the affair. She could’ve chosen to be a good mother to Alicia. She could’ve chosen to maintain relationships within her family so that Alicia would have known her grandparents before they passed away. She could’ve chosen to continue to go to church and embrace her faith. She could even have chosen to have a relationship and perhaps, at some point, married a godly man.

  But Sherri Leighton had made none of those choices, and Alicia had suffered as a result.

  Alicia, however, had resolved to be stronger than her mother. To rise above the circumstances of her situation and strive for something more. And last night, Doug’s words to her had shown her that she had succeeded at that. Bitterness and anger had not been allowed to take root in her heart the way they had in her mother’s. She had embraced the faith that her mother had rejected.

  And she finally had the family she’d always wanted.

  She had never imagined that in seeking freedom from her lies, she’d find the freedom to love and embrace Doug and Caroline and the rest of the McKinleys completely instead of holding them at a distance like she had so far. Though she’d gone into the evening expecting to lose it all, Alicia had walked out of Doug and Caroline’s home with more than her heart could hold.

  Alicia’s eyes drifted closed, and she tried to settle herself down enough to be able to rest. Tomorrow she needed to talk to Marcus about the lies she’d told him. Not just the one about her mother but also about her most recent trip to California and the messages she’d been getting on her phone. If it cost her her employment at Blackthorpe, she would be heartbroken. But it was necessary. She could see that now.

  Alicia hadn’t set her alarm the night before, so she awoke slowly, gradually rising from a deep, deep sleep to wakefulness. The curtains were all drawn to darken the room, so she had no idea what time it was. She reached for her phone and looked at the display, shocked when she saw that it was nearly noon. Obviously, the emotional turmoil had drained her more than she’d realized, and her body had taken the opportunity to recuperate overnight.

  For a moment, she considered rushing from the bed and heading downstairs, but it was Saturday. She had no reason to even leave her room if she didn’t want to. Instead, she lay there, again reflecting on what had happened the night before. She still had mixed emotions about tel
ling Marcus, but because of how things had gone with Doug and Caroline, hope was winning out.

  Finally, she threw back the covers and went into the large spacious bathroom attached to her room. She filled the deep tub with water, throwing in a bath bomb that Meredith had given her to try. She stood watching as it swirled in the water, its colors spreading out to saturate all of the liquid in the tub. Once the tub was sufficiently filled, Alicia undressed and lowered herself into the water. With a sigh, she relaxed her head against the high lip of the tub and closed her eyes. Instead of thinking about the night before or the day that lay ahead, she allowed the words and music of her favorite worship songs to fill her mind.

  By the time she got downstairs, it was almost two o’clock. Refreshed in body, in mind, and in spirit, she was relaxed and in a good mindset to speak with Marcus. She found Derek and Meredith in the kitchen, talking while Meredith baked, but there was no sign of Marcus. When she walked in, they both looked over and greeted her with a smile.

  ‘You look like you’ve enjoyed your day off,” Meredith said as she picked up a cookie from the wire rack and held it out to her. “Oatmeal chocolate chip.”

  Alicia took the cookie then settled onto a bar stool next to Derek, across the island counter from where Meredith worked. She broke off a piece and popped it into her mouth. The warm melted chocolate and chewy oatmeal made her moan in appreciation. “So good, Meredith. Worth waking up for, definitely.”

  “I have already eaten my fair share,” Derek said, but that didn’t stop him from taking another one when Meredith held it out to him.

  “Is Marcus around?” Alicia asked after she finished her cookie.

  Meredith shook her head. “Alex called just after lunch to see if he wanted to meet up with him at the training compound. I think they were going to spar or maybe go to the shooting range.”

  Alicia told herself that her disappointment stemmed from having gotten her hopes up about talking with him. But she knew that wasn’t entirely true. After he’d been so concerned, so gentle with her, the night before, Alicia found her feelings for him deepening. The way he had treated her last night hadn’t been the way an employer treats an employee. They had just been Marcus and Alicia. Friends? Probably. Something more? Hopefully.

  But first, she had to get past a challenging conversation with the man. Once he’d heard what she’d done — especially with regards to the text messages — he might not want anything more to do with her. Her heart ached at the thought. Having had just a glimpse of the man that he could be when he let down his guard, Alicia wanted to see more of that.

  Did she love the man?

  Just asking herself that question brought forth a rush of emotion. As she thought of the couples that surrounded her, she found that she could imagine herself in a relationship with Marcus like they had. It hadn’t been love at first sight. More like intrigue at first sight. Because the man had definitely intrigued her the first time they’d met at Eric and Staci’s wedding. Going to work for him had given her the opportunity to get to know him better, and that intrigue had turned to something more.

  Though she’d seen a side of Marcus the previous night that she didn’t doubt was real, Alicia wasn’t sure it had anything to do with feelings he might have for her. After all, she was in his home, and it stood to reason that he would be more relaxed and at ease there than he had been at the office. She knew that he was able to respond with compassion to a situation since she’d seen that with Meredith already. But did he see her in the same way as he saw Meredith?

  Though she thought she’d been at peace about talking to Marcus about everything, given how well things had gone the night before with Doug and Caroline, the thought of possibly losing him, not just as a boss but as the potential for something more, suddenly filled her with fear. She tried to push it down, to ignore it, but once it had taken root within her, there seemed to be no way to be rid of it.

  “Do you have any big plans for the rest of the day?” Meredith asked. She picked up a pan with evenly spaced blobs of cookie dough on it. She glanced in Alicia’s direction as she headed for the oven and slid the cookie sheet inside. She set the timer then turned back to face Alicia and Derek. “Besides eating my yummy chocolate chip cookies, that is.”

  “I don’t know. Spending the afternoon eating chocolate chip cookies doesn’t sound like a bad plan,” Alicia said, trying to lighten the mood of her own thoughts. “But no, to answer your question, I don’t really have any plans for the rest of the day. I need to discuss something with Marcus, so I guess I’ll do that when he gets back. But other than that, I think I’m going to just have an easy and laid back day.”

  “I’m pretty sure that you need those, especially when you’re working for my brother,” Meredith said. “He’s been a good boss to you, though, hasn’t he?”

  The worry in Meredith’s voice took Alicia aback. Was the woman aware of the difficulty her brother had keeping personal assistants? “Marcus has been a great boss. I’m very grateful for the opportunity he has given me to work for him at BlackThorpe.”

  “I hope you work for him for a very long time,” Meredith said with a smile. “He’s a lot more relaxed about his work now than he was before. I’m sure it’s because he has someone he can trust working with him. I’m glad to see that some of his stress is gone.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Alicia saw Derek nodding his head. “Well, I’ll stay at BlackThorpe for as long as Marcus needs me to. I really do enjoy the job, and it’s a pleasure to work for the company.”

  As Meredith worked to fill another pan with cookie dough, Alicia wondered if the woman had ever wanted to hold a job outside of the home. From what she could see, Meredith enjoyed the work she did around the house. Whether it was making a meal for them to enjoy or working on a puzzle, Meredith seemed to truly take pleasure in it all. She didn’t seem to have a problem with living the majority of her life within the walls of the mansion.

  They continued to chat as she finished making the cookies. Alicia kept waiting for Marcus to return, but there had still been no sign of him by the time Meredith started preparations for their supper. Alicia helped her as she put together the ingredients for lasagna. While Alicia worked on that, Meredith began to make French bread. Alicia wanted to ask again about Marcus and if he said he’d be home for supper, but she didn’t want to arouse Meredith’s suspicions by asking about him too much.

  In the end, it was just her, Derek and Meredith for supper since Jeff had left the previous day to return to Rochester to speak to his mother and sisters, and apparently, Marcus was having dinner out with someone. When he still hadn’t returned by the time the meal was over and the dishes were cleaned up, Alicia decided to head back upstairs to her room. She had things there that could occupy her time for the evening, though she still hoped to be able to speak to Marcus at some point.

  She just had to trust that if today wasn’t the right time, a better opportunity would present itself.

  ~*~

  Marcus pulled his SUV to a stop in front of the house. His body ached from the sparring session and workout that he’d had with Alex and Justin. He had needed the distraction as he’d waited for Alicia to show her face. When she hadn’t made an appearance by the time Alex called to see if he wanted to meet him at the training center, Marcus decided to take him up on it. But the sparring and workout sessions had led to some time on the gun range and then to the cafeteria there for dinner with Alex and Justin. Though he had enjoyed the time with the two men, he was beat.

  All he wanted right then was to take a hot shower and then just relax for the rest of the day. The house was quiet when he let himself in, so he’d apparently have to catch up with Alicia on Sunday at some point.

  After his shower, Marcus left his bedroom and headed down to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The kitchen was empty when he got there, but he spotted a glass jar filled with chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and headed straight for it. Meredith might not have the desire to do many other
things, but the one thing she excelled at was baking. He lifted the lid off the jar and pulled out three cookies. By the time he left the kitchen a short time later, he had eaten those first three cookies and had three more in his hand as he headed for his office. It was a good thing he’d burned so many calories already that day.

  Marcus sank into the chair behind his desk and let out a groan as his body relaxed into it. He clicked on the mouse to have his email program open, but his thoughts were still on Alicia, so he didn’t realize right away that an error message had popped up on the screen. When he spotted it, he leaned forward, peering at the message and the icon in the right-hand lower corner of the monitor that showed his network status. He frowned when he saw that it showed that he had no Internet connection.

  He clicked on the icon and brought up the page to troubleshoot the connection. Not that he anticipated it would show anything, but it was always a good first step. If the problem persisted, he would give Trent a call to see what the man advised. He hated to bother Derek, but he needed to know if anything unusual had happened while he’d been out. Though he usually didn’t have Derek on duty over the weekend, when Alex had called to invite Marcus to go out, the man had insisted that it wasn’t a problem to watch over Meredith.

  Aggravated by his inability to connect to the Internet, Marcus grabbed his phone to call Derek. Before he could even place the call, he realized that he had absolutely no signal. That had never been a problem in the house before, and the fact that it was now, left Marcus a little uneasy. With no access to the Internet and no cell service, they were basically cut off from the outside world.

  Marcus unlocked then opened the bottom drawer of his desk so he could grab his gun. As he got to his feet, he checked to make sure it was loaded before heading out of his office, determined to find Derek and have the man help him figure out what was going on. He was halfway up the steps when the lights went out too. The uneasiness he’d felt exploded into alarm, and he sprinted up the final steps of the stairs, grateful that there was still some light shining through the large windows above the foyer, courtesy of the setting sun, but it wouldn’t be there for much longer. He darted down the hallway to find Derek coming out of his room, weapon in his hand.