Son of Secrets

by N. J. Simmonds

  As for the ‘model girlfriend’ thing, that was a lie. He had been dating models, more than one, but none that mattered. The lie was a way of keeping Ella at arm’s length because, if he was totally honest with himself, this strange pull between them scared the hell out of him. What if she liked him back? She didn’t deserve to be hurt again. Not after what her bastard brother had done to her, and then her last boyfriend dying.

  Ella was completely oblivious to Josh’s tumultuous tangle of emotions. Dressed in ripped jean shorts with cowboy boots and a white T-shirt, she was the very epitome of laid-back local girl. Her hair hung past her shoulders in large curls as if it had been left to dry naturally in the sun, and her face was also sun-kissed and glowing. He couldn’t even tell if she had make-up on. The girls in LA would never have been seen dead on a night out without at least lip gloss and heels, yet here was Ella perched on a bar stool looking more radiant and vibrant than any Hollywood starlet. Her leg jangled up and down as she knocked back a shot, her crescent birthmark flashing at him like a smile. He breathed in deeply, attempting to control the growing ache in his chest.

  With a loud slurp, she sucked on a slice of lemon then wiped her mouth on the back of her bare arm. This girl had no agenda, no fear, and definitely no shame. How was he going to find the courage to talk to her about what he’d seen three years ago? How could he admit what he knew about her?

  ‘What you thinking?’ she asked, leaning closer. ‘You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking how I don’t like perfect things or perfect moments. Know what I mean? Perfect things make me nervous, like the unexpected is just around the corner.’ She slipped off the stool, moved it closer to him and clambered back on. ‘When things are going well, or someone is extra amazing, I get this feeling like I’m being tricked. It’s like turning the handle on a jack-in-the-box, waiting for the nasty thing to jump up at you. Anyway,’ she said, running her finger over his jawline, ‘your face, Josh, I can’t fault it and it’s been making me nervous since you randomly turned up at my hotel last week. But just now, I noticed this tiny, little chip here.’ She stroked her thumb over his lips until the tip made contact with his front tooth. ‘And I realised you weren’t perfect after all. Which made me like you more.’

  She turned back to the bar and drained the rest of her margarita, following it with another tequila shot. Josh ran his tongue over his teeth until he could taste her touch. He wanted to taste more; he wanted her thumb back in his mouth.

  He smiled at himself in the mirror behind the bar, trying to see if the chip was obvious from afar. ‘My agent says I should get my teeth capped, but I didn’t think the chip was that obvious. Should I get my teeth done? Does it show?’ he shouted over the noise of the bar.

  ‘It makes you sexier and you know it. God, look at you, you’re so full of yourself. Here.’ She handed him a shot of tequila.

  ‘No, seriously, I have to leave soon.’

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Josh. Stop being a killjoy and have a bloody drink with me!’

  She shrugged and drank it herself, sucking in air through her gritted teeth and chewing on another piece of lemon. Then she started laughing and swiped his arm.

  ‘Will you leave your bloody hair alone! Three times I’ve caught you checking yourself out since we sat down.’

  ‘People are always taking photos of me. I don’t want to look like crap.’

  ‘Josh, no one is even looking at you anymore. Actually, I think most people are looking at me.’

  She was right. How had Josh not noticed? Paulo the chef was back, and another man with shoulder-length hair was glancing over at her from near the pool table. Was this her local pulling joint?

  The DJ said something into the mic and Ella jumped up.

  ‘Karaoke!’ she cried, ruffling his hair.

  He fought the urge to look back in the mirror and straighten it again.

  ‘Josh, Josh, Josh, do you sing? I’m going to sing. Come on, you boring bastard, let’s have a singsong.’

  She pulled at his hand, but he stayed firmly seated at the bar.

  ‘I can’t…I have to go. My flight leaves at eight o’clock tomorrow, and the airport is miles away. Let’s get out of here.’

  It was too late. Ella already had the microphone and was standing on a small stage at the back of the bar. There were only a handful of people left drinking inside, and even the giggling girls Josh had smiled at earlier had begun to lose interest. He considered leaving, hoping Ella would follow, but she’d already started singing the words to “You’re So Vain.”

  Josh put his head in his hands and laughed. What the hell was she playing at? She was walking toward him slowly, pointing as she belted out the lyrics to the Carly Simon hit.

  While people clapped along, she sang about being naïve and how he’d had her several years ago. She had her back to him now, writhing up and down and leaning her head back onto his shoulder as she sang into the microphone.

  Josh stayed on his bar stool as Ella danced around him, seductively flicking her hair and running her hands over his chest. She was pretty well coordinated for a girl that ten minutes earlier had been too drunk to stay on her chair, although unfortunately her singing was not as good as her dancing.

  He knew this song and what came next—the air guitar. Right on cue, Ella was on her knees giving it her all, much to the amusement of their fellow drinkers. The bar was now filling up fast. Those who had been drinking and smoking outside came back in, and those walking past, upon seeing Ella cavort around a guy that very much looked like ‘that one in that film,’ entered the bar, too. There was not much Josh could do but let her finish her number and smile graciously.

  She ended the song with a flourish and swayed unsteadily on her feet. Josh caught her and dipped her, giving her a light kiss on the lips. The bar went wild, and he laughed as his audience applauded and took photos on their phones. The pictures would probably be all over the internet by morning and he’d have his agent shouting at him on the phone about being seen in the wrong kind of bar with the wrong kind of girl. He didn’t care though. This was Ella, and she was different.

  He lifted her up over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift, threw a one-hundred-euro note at the bar and called out, ‘Drinks are on me!’ as he headed to the taxi rank. Ella was laughing so hard that he prayed she wouldn’t be sick over the back of his new Paul Smith shirt.

  • • • • •

  ‘That was fun,’ she said, giggling, as Josh took her front door keys off her and led her into her apartment. She attempted to take off one of her boots but fell on the floor.

  ‘Oh my God, I’m going to piss myself if I keep laughing this hard. Josh, that was bloody hilarious. Your face! And you kissed me. I can’t believe you were so desperate to leave you actually kissed me.’

  She gave up on taking her shoes off, and he watched her weave her way to the bathroom. She came back out a few minutes later, toothbrush in hand, wearing nothing but her underwear and cowboy boots.

  She had absolutely no idea about the effect she had on him. He had to get out of there before she took off any more clothes.

  ‘Ella, I’ve got you some water and I found some aspirin in your kitchen. They’re on your bedside table. I’ve got to go now.’

  ‘Don’t go. Stay.’

  He tried not to stare at her body, but she was inches away from him now. This girl was something else.

  ‘I told you, I have to get back to Marbella and get my luggage. I leave early tomorrow. We’ll keep in touch, OK?’

  ‘Josh, I know you want me.’

  Did he? Of course he did, but if it was going to happen it wasn’t going to happen like this. Not with her drunk and him worried about missing his flight.

  ‘Ella, you’re wonderful, and yes, I fancy you but this…this…’ He pointed to her and himself. ‘This isn’t going to happen.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘Listen, I know it’s been hard for you since Zac…’

  ‘You know? You know? You know w
hat you know, Josh? You know nada. Absolutely nothing.’

  Except he did; he knew more than she realised.

  ‘There’s stuff you’ll never understand,’ she said, ‘things that don’t even make sense to me after all these years. You and me, as stupid as it may seem, we’re destined for each other. Don’t look at me like that; I mean it. Destiny, fate, written in the stars, meant to be, whatever the fuck you want to call it. We don’t have a choice, Josh. It’s not me that wants it. It just is. Haven’t you noticed how many times we’ve been thrown together this past week? All those weird coincidences? You even said yourself that you’re being pulled in my direction. Life is never going to give up on us until we give in. So, just kiss me again, properly. Let’s get this over with.’

  What was she talking about? He’d heard some come-ons in his time, but she wasn’t making sense. She was stinking drunk and probably angry he was turning her down.

  ‘I have to go, Ella. I’m sorry. Good night.’

  He kissed her forehead, and she sat on her bed with a thump, her unused toothbrush still in her hand.

  ‘You won’t make it to LA. The universe isn’t going to let you walk away this easily. You’ll be back.’ She laughed a dry, sad laugh. ‘You were meant to be my true love, Josh. Can you believe that? Not Zac, the man I actually love…but you. I didn’t believe it either when I was told. I didn’t want to, but I can see it now. It’s our path. So, I guess I’ll see you soon.’

  Josh nodded and let himself out of her apartment. By the morning, he would be on a flight back to his life in LA, away from this surreal place and Ella’s crazy talk. There was no way any more coincidences would make him stay in Tarifa. He’d bottled out of telling her his big secret, but it didn’t matter anymore. It wouldn’t change anything.

  He opened the apartment door and glanced back at the fiery girl whose ember was beginning to dim. She was on the bed, looking down at a large framed feather in her hand, her knuckles white from the strength of her grip.

  He shut the door firmly behind him and told himself to forget about her.

  WATER. SHE NEEDED water. What the hell had she been drinking last night?

  Ella scrambled out of bed and tripped over something—her cowboy boots. Beside them were her bra and lacy knickers. She was naked. What the fuck?

  She shielded her eyes against the bright glare of the sun shining through the French windows. What time was it? It had to be close to midday. What time had she got to bed? She couldn’t even remember getting home last night. Oh, wait, had Josh been there last night? She had a faint recollection of him carrying her out of the bar and bundling them into a cab. Yes! He had definitely been there, but why? He was meant to be in Marbella.

  Thank God she didn’t work on weekends. It was going to take more than a shower to get rid of this hangover and piece together her memories of the night before.

  ‘Joder, my head!’ she muttered to herself.

  A packet of painkillers was propped up against a bottle of water on her bedside table. She knew she hadn’t put them there; she was never that sensible. She sat on the bed, took two tablets and washed them down with half the bottle of water. She then took two more and drank the rest of the water. Who had left her headache tablets? Had Josh come back to her room last night?

  Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! What if she’d had sex with him? What if he’d left without leaving a note or kissing her goodbye? She picked up her phone. No messages. Bastard!

  She checked her packet of contraceptive pills. She’d taken one. Good. Plus, no matter how drunk she got, she always used a condom. She had a drawer full of them, not that she could see whether any had been taken out.

  She must have had sex with Josh de Silva. She remembered him bringing her home, and why else would she be naked? She’d shagged a famous Hollywood heartthrob and couldn’t even remember the details. What was the point of that? Fuckety fuck fuck! How embarrassing! She’d dropped her knickers like every other desperate fangirl. She didn’t even know if she liked him that way. Oh, who was she kidding? Of course she liked him. He was gorgeous. But if she’d been sober, she would never have given him the satisfaction of knowing how she felt about him.

  She stumbled to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, trying not to wretch as the toothbrush touched the back of her throat. Her mouth tasted vile. Had she been drinking tequila last night? Why did she always do that? And why did she have that annoying song stuck in her head?

  ‘Oh no!’ she said, groaning out loud.

  Friday was karaoke night at her local. Had she been singing in front of Josh? She had sex with him, possibly while wearing cowboy boots, after having sung karaoke in her local bar. Could she be any more shameless?

  She contemplated having a shower but then did what she always did when she woke up feeling ill and full of remorse: she slid open the back door and jumped naked into her swimming pool. None of the hotel rooms overlooked her apartment; her own little slice of paradise was completely private.

  The initial cold of the water hitting her skin woke her up, and she groaned again at the thought of Josh being halfway to LA by now. At least she wouldn’t have to avoid him in town like all her other mistakes.

  Nope, she didn’t need Josh in her life. She didn’t need any bloody man! According to Zac, Josh was her destiny—but Ella controlled her own fate. Josh was on his way back to Hollywood, and her family and friends were arriving the next day to celebrate her birthday. She was turning twenty-three, old enough to get her life in order and stop fucking around with the wrong guys. Yep, that was that. Josh was but a blip, a wrong turn. From now on she would determine her own path.

  JOSH HAD NO idea what he was doing. He could have got a flight elsewhere or booked into a hotel for a few days to await further news, but instead he was back in the lobby of the same hotel from which he had left just seven hours earlier.

  He rubbed his face and sighed. What was it Ella had said to him as he’d left her room that morning? The universe isn’t going to let you walk away this easily. You’ll be back. And there he was, returning to the girl he couldn’t shake off.

  Josh yawned. He hadn’t slept all night. He’d had a long cab journey from Tarifa to Marbella and then an hour of packing and answering work emails. Then he’d booked a taxi and headed straight to the airport, planning to sleep on the plane. He had a packed schedule ahead of him—Malaga to London and then on to LAX, followed by weeks of meetings and castings and press events. He liked his life. No, he loved his life but, after having bumped into Ella, his lifestyle was beginning to feel vacuous and ridiculous. Why did she make him feel that way, as if being with her was real and everything else was just pretend?

  He’d been sitting in the first-class lounge reading through the Bite Night script, finally seeing it for the pile of crap it was, when the BBC Breaking News logo flashed up on the television screen in the corner. A terrorist threat at LAX Airport had been thwarted and California was on red alert, with all US airports evacuated and all planes grounded.

  Josh hadn’t had time to process what that meant for his travel plans before Billy came rushing into the lounge, his round face puce and sweat forming rings beneath his arms.

  ‘Thought I was going to be late,’ he said, coughing. ‘I can’t believe you got here so early. I threw up five times this morning and…’ He looked up at the television screen, his face turning a deeper shade of scarlet. ‘What the hell is this?’

  Josh laughed, although he wasn’t sure if it was the news or the state of Billy’s face that was amusing him the most.

  ‘A terrorist alert. It’s hilarious.’

  There were only two other businessmen in the lounge and they both looked up from the television, startled at Josh’s reaction.

  ‘Hilarious?’ Billy shouted.

  ‘Yes! Do you know what this means?’

  ‘I know exactly what this means. We’re going to have to stay in London for a bit. It’s fine. We can conduct the meetings from there. The studio has offices on Baker Street.
Then maybe we can fly to Canada and drive over the border if the airports don’t open up soon. Perhaps it’s just the LA ones. I’m sure we can fly into…’

  ‘I’m not leaving Spain,’ Josh said.

  Billy began to cough again. He doubled over and rested his hands on his knees.

  ‘Yes, you are!’ he spluttered. ‘I’ve had your manager and PR people on the phone. They aren’t happy with you as it is. You have plans, and you have to see them through.’

  ‘No, I don’t. I’m looking at the bigger plan, Billy. First, you decided to shoot the film in Tarifa, of all places, then my room flooded and I had to stay at an unknown hotel, then you got ill and I had to stay longer in Tarifa, and finally, guess who I saw last night? Ella. And now this?’

  Billy was staring at him, eyes narrowed in confusion.

  ‘What the hell are you blabbering on about?’

  ‘She was right, Billy. Ella was right. This is my destiny!’ Josh collected his belongings and pushed his way past a crowd of people gathered around the large TV screen in the departure lounge. He didn’t even care that his luggage was already checked in; he’d get his people to sort that out later. He had to get back to Ella.

  ‘Wait!’ Billy shouted as Josh pushed past him. ‘You’re not making any sense. You just need some sleep. Joshy, come back! Where the hell are you going?’

  ‘I have a date with fate!’ he called over his shoulder, and Billy was too busy coughing again to chase him.

  Josh ran all the way to the airport exit. Not only was Ella permanently branded on his mind, her face coming into sharp relief every time he blinked, but he’d started to notice her everywhere. Every woman in the airport looked like her, the duty-free shop smelled of her perfume and as the taxi pulled up outside the airport its radio was playing the same song she’d sung the night before. He laughed. He was getting the message loud and clear.