Son of Secrets

by N. J. Simmonds

  Ella hadn’t wanted him to talk to Leo and Felicity without her, but Josh had insisted. He wanted to ask her father for his daughter’s hand in marriage, the traditional way. He’d told Ella to enjoy herself at the wedding dress shop with her friends and not worry about him. But the truth was, he didn’t want her to see how terrified he was. Ella always seemed so certain of every decision she made, so sure of herself, but Josh wasn’t. Proposing to Ella and not flying back to LA was the most impulsive thing he’d ever done in his life. It felt right, but it still terrified him.

  His mobile phone has stayed turned off since the day before when he’d kissed Ella for the first time. Josh had emailed Billy as soon as he’d left her room, plus his agent and PR team, and said he’d be taking a few weeks off. He didn’t care what lie his team told the studio bosses or the press about his absence; they’d probably say he had a family crisis or that he was in rehab. Whatever. He told them he simply needed to get his head straight and that they were not to disturb him. It would send them into panic overdrive, guaranteed, but he didn’t care. Fifteen minutes later, he’d received thirteen missed calls and twenty-eight emails. He hadn’t even looked at them; instead, he’d turned off the phone and thrown it into his suitcase.

  Was he doing the right thing? This wasn’t a part in a movie. This was real—yet he’d never felt more certain about anything in his entire life.

  A car pulled up on the gravel drive, and Josh peered out the window. A tall, Spanish-looking man stepped out, walked to the passenger door, and held his hand out to an elegant blonde. This had to be Ella’s parents. He’d met Felicity briefly at a party three years ago, but she looked different now—older, yet calmer. They hadn’t spotted him watching, but he could hear them talking as they took the cases out of the boot.

  ‘I can’t believe our baby’s twenty-three already!’ Felicity was saying as they carried their bags to the hotel entrance. Her heels were making it hard for her to totter over the gravel, and Leo held out a hand to steady her.

  ‘Lily, por favor,’ he said, taking the suitcase off her.

  Josh wasn’t bilingual like Ella’s family, but he could understand the basic Spanish he’d learned at school.

  ‘Will we tell her?’ Leo asked.

  Felicity shook her head and kissed his cheek.

  ‘Not on her birthday, cariño. Maybe tomorrow.’

  She placed a hand on his cheek, and Josh ducked back into the library, embarrassed to have witnessed such a tender exchange. Ella had told him her father was a priest and her mother was in the middle of a divorce. Were her parents getting it on? He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. While they were worrying about telling Ella their big news, he was about to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage. He rubbed his eyes and took another gulp of whisky.

  ‘Where is everyone?’ Felicity’s voice echoed around the empty foyer.

  Josh stepped out of the library and held up his hand in greeting. ‘Hi. Ella’s just popped out, but she’ll be back soon.’

  ‘She’s not here to meet her own mother? I haven’t seen her in months!’

  ‘She asked me to wait for you,’ Josh said. He hoped he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt. ‘You must be Mrs Fantz and…’

  ‘Oh! I know you, don’t I?’ Felicity said. ‘Joshua de Silva, Pascoal’s boy? I used to know your father. What are you doing here?’

  He took their bags off them and gave Felicity what he hoped was his most charming smile.

  ‘It’s a long story. Ella gave me strict instructions to greet you and make sure you were both comfortable. Ella has booked a suite for you, Mister Santiago de los Rios, and Mrs Fantz—you know where your apartment is, I imagine.’

  ‘Of course. This is my hotel!’

  ‘Yes. Sorry. Please, this way.’

  Ella’s father was frowning at him. Josh took their suitcases upstairs and pretended not to notice as Felicity elbowed the priest lightly and gave him a look. Josh deposited Leo’s suitcase outside the door of a large suite, and Felicity made her way to the end of the corridor where her private apartment was. Like Ella’s, it was never rented out to guests.

  ‘Thank you, Joshua,’ Leo said with a strong Spanish accent.

  ‘Josh.’

  ‘Thank you, Josh. Now that you have shown us to our rooms, would you be kind enough to tell us where our daughter is? And why the hotel is empty? And who you are?’

  Felicity was watching them both from the door of her room opposite them. Josh cleared his throat and thought of his tumbler of whisky downstairs.

  ‘Yes…Ella’s fine. It’s all good. Why don’t we leave the bags here and go down to the library? We can have a drink and a chat, and I’ll explain everything. Much more comfortable there.’

  Ella’s parents looked at one another again and followed him back downstairs. He poured them all a glass of whisky and then nodded at the sofa. Leo sat beside Felicity, who was giving Josh a look that said, ‘Nice to see how comfortable you’ve made yourself, in what is still technically my hotel.’

  ‘So…’ Josh took a deep breath, attempting to give them a smile that wasn’t too shaky. ‘Ella has shut the hotel for a week because she wants to spend her birthday with both of you and her friends Kerry and Mai Li, who we picked up from the airport this morning. Right now, Ella is…’ He tapped the toe of his foot against the marble floor, keeping his eyes fixed on his drink. ‘She’s with her friends buying a wedding dress,’ he said quickly, all in one breath.

  He looked up, meeting Felicity’s eyes. She appeared calm, but by the tilt of her head it was clear she was waiting for him to continue before she decided how to react.

  ‘Mrs Fantz, Mr Santiago de los Rios, I need to ask you something.’ He took another deep breath, his vision now wavy—either from the alcohol or the nerves that were about to engulf him. He shouldn’t have poured himself that second whisky. ‘Would you grant me your permission to marry Ella, please?’

  Leo and Felicity stared at one another. Her eyes were wide, and she was shaking her head slowly. She covered her mouth with both hands, muttering something. It sounded like a succession of ‘No, no, no.’

  ‘What are you talking about, Joshua?’ Leo barked. ‘I’ve never even met you before.’

  ‘I proposed to Ella this morning and she said yes. I wanted to do it properly and ask for her hand in marriage from her parents, too…and to also ask you, Father, to perform the ceremony. If possible. Tomorrow.’

  He swallowed down the sharp taste of whisky rising in his throat. Leo’s frown was deeper than ever, and Felicity had gone a deathly pale.

  ‘Is this a joke?’ Felicity asked, looking wildly around the room. ‘Are you hiding in here, Ella, ready to pounce out? Hmm, sweetie? Because I don’t find this remotely funny.’

  Josh closed his eyes and counted to three before opening them again. He hoped he wasn’t going to faint. On set he did most of his own stunts. He was regularly interviewed on live TV and encouraged to do ridiculous things, and in one film he even had to fight with a real shark—but this was by far the scariest thing he’d ever done. Ella had been right; they should have spoken to her parents together. He was stupid for thinking he could break the news to them alone.

  ‘This isn’t a joke, Mrs Fantz. I’m very serious about wanting to spend the rest of my life with your daughter.’

  ‘Who are you?’ Leo asked, his voice a lot kinder than the expression on his face.

  Josh bit down on the inside of his lip, aware that his underarms were getting damp. He hoped there weren’t dark patches on his shirt.

  ‘I’m Joshua de Silva. I’m an actor, but I used to know Ella from university, back in London. I came here completely by chance a week or so ago and fate kind of threw us together.’

  ‘Fate?’ Leo said.

  Josh rubbed his face.

  ‘I’m aware that what I’m saying sounds strange and crazy, Father, but I know…I know everything. I know it’s the right thing to do.’

  ‘What exactly do you
know, boy?’

  The priest was losing his patience. Ella had said that her father was easy-going and calm, but right now the Spaniard looked like he was going to punch him. Josh spoke quickly, desperate to tell them everything he knew before they stormed out of the hotel and called their daughter.

  ‘I know about Zac. I know what he was. I know he’s dead now and that Ella’s been trying to get back on her path. I’m the guy she’s meant to be with. Three years ago, in London, we kept getting thrown together. Even Zac told her it was meant to be me. I felt it at the time, of course I did. To be honest, I’ve been crazy about your daughter since the first time I met her, except back then she only cared about him. When I found myself here for work, at her hotel of all places, all my feelings came rushing back, and we both finally gave in to our path. We decided to just go for it and see what happens.’

  Leo was glaring at Josh, his arms crossed.

  ‘Marriage is not something you just go for!’ he shouted. ‘You don’t just blow caution to the wind because a girl is getting over the death of an old flame and is on the rebound. You don’t know if you love somebody that quickly.’

  Felicity’s face was stony, but her eyes were smiling. She placed her hand on the priest’s knee.

  ‘Is that right, Leo? Did you not, twenty-four years ago, drive for hours through the night looking for me while clutching a wedding ring in your hand?’

  The priest shook his head. ‘That was different.’

  ‘Was it? Did you not know within an hour of meeting me that we were destined to be together? Except we weren’t as smart as these two—we listened to reason and not our hearts. Look at him.’ Leo wasn’t looking at Josh; instead, his attention was on Felicity’s hand on his knee. She took his face and turned it toward Josh. ‘Look at him! That is the face of love.’

  They both stared at Josh. He was still biting down on his lip, his foot tapping a rhythm on the marble floor.

  ‘He’s doing the right thing, Leo,’ she said. ‘He’s been brave enough to ask us face-to-face, and to have said yes, Ella clearly loves him. I never thought my baby would find happiness again after what she’s been through. Josh, you say you know about Zac?’

  Josh nodded, and Felicity blinked three times in quick succession.

  ‘Good. The Zac situation has not been an easy thing for any of us to get our heads around…but clearly there are no secrets between you and our daughter. We’ve been urging her to let go of him for a long time now. That union was never going to end well. In my opinion, you’re both far too young to marry, but at least you are…well…human and alive. Don’t hurt her.’

  ‘Never.’

  Felicity turned back to Leo and whispered in his ear. The priest sighed, his face softening.

  ‘Do you really know about Zac? Are you sure you understand?’

  Josh nodded. ‘The night of the New Year’s Eve party at Cloud Ninety-Nine, when you and Ella argued,’ he said, looking at Felicity, ‘I was there. I was in the lift on my way up to the party, and I saw her jump. I also saw Zac fly through the air and rescue her. I know what he is, I mean, what he was, and to be honest it’s a relief to finally be able to talk to someone about what I saw. I thought I was going mad.’

  Felicity jumped up and threw her arms around him, which shocked them both.

  ‘You saw her? You saw her fall?’ she whispered. ‘Nobody believed me. Even I doubted my sanity, especially after I got home and her dress was on the floor of her room, and I realised she’d miraculously survived. It wasn’t until I discovered what Zac was that it made sense. But to be honest, even now the whole angel thing is, well, surreal. Even after we saw the wings and the other…creatures…and witnessed the awful way Zac died.’ Felicity dabbed at her eyes. ‘It has affected us all deeply.’

  Leo reached out for her, and she peeled herself off Josh.

  ‘So, you’re her chosen one for this lifetime, Josh?’ the priest asked. ‘Is that what Zac told her?’

  Josh nodded, still chewing his lip.

  ‘And she loves you?’

  Josh smiled. ‘Yes, and I love her so much. I adore her. I promise you both I will spend every day of my life making her happy. I’ve never met anyone like her before—it’s as if being with her is the only time I feel like my true self.’

  ‘OK, OK, we get it.’ Leo laughed. ‘Fine. Who are we to argue with fate? Welcome to the family, son. Looks like we have a wedding to plan.’

  Josh stood up, shook the priest’s hand heartily, and then hugged Felicity again.

  ‘Thank you! Ella will be finished around eight. She’s booked us all a table at a tapas bar in town and said we’re to meet them there. I think she was worried about telling you both in person. Or maybe she was testing me.’

  He laughed nervously, and Leo patted his back.

  ‘Well, you passed the test. Our daughter will be celebrating her birthday and engagement in one night. I should probably go and freshen up but first, pour me another drink.’

  • • • • •

  ‘Today has definitely been my most memorable birthday yet,’ Ella said to Josh.

  It was two o’clock in the morning, and they had finally managed to get her friends and family back to the hotel and to their rooms. Felicity had spent the evening spontaneously bursting into happy tears, Leo had watched Josh like a hawk throughout the meal, and Mai Li and Kerry had bickered all evening as to whether it was worth going out dancing or not. Ella had convinced them that it wasn’t.

  It was a quiet night and the sea was still. The moon was so bright and swollen, it was as if the beach was made of silver. The only sound for miles was the gentle swoosh of the waves lapping at their toes. Josh and Ella walked hand in hand along the shoreline, their feet sinking into the fine sand.

  Neither of them had wanted to say goodbye once they’d returned to the hotel. A mix of emotions swirled in the pit of Ella’s stomach—fear, excitement, love, nerves, joy. A kaleidoscope of vibrant colours tumbling over one another. There was no point in going to her room yet; she wouldn’t be sleeping much anyway. Nights were still cool in April, and Josh had draped his suit jacket over Ella’s shoulders. It was too big for her and made her look like a child playing dress-up, the sleeves flapping over her hands as they walked.

  Ella loved the beach at night. When she was alone and couldn’t sleep, she’d walk along the bay, ankle-deep in the water. She’d fill her lungs with salty air, breathing in the same rhythm of the waves. In. Out. In. Out.

  ‘I love my parents and friends,’ she said, ‘but they were a bloody handful tonight. Still, at least they know about us now, and they seemed genuinely happy.’

  ‘Kerry wasn’t. She’s not happy at all. I think you have competition there.’

  Ella hit him playfully on the arm and laughed.

  ‘She’ll come around. She’s had the hots for you for years. You’ll have to palm her off on your cousin or one of your sexy actor mates. If you don’t, she’ll probably cut out more photos of you from the gossip magazines and stick pins in them.’

  Josh laughed and kissed the top of her head.

  ‘I was kidding. Your friends are cool, and your parents are lovely. I can’t believe in ten hours we’ll be man and wife.’

  ‘Husband and wife.’

  ‘Yes, sorry, husband. Wow, I’m going to be your husband. Shit, that’s so grown up.’

  ‘You know, it’s not too late to back out,’ she said. ‘If you think we’re being too impulsive. I mean, you haven’t even spoken to your own parents yet. What will they say?’

  ‘I don’t care what they say. My mum’s happy if I’m happy, and my father is a selfish prick who’s done crazier things in his life. We can do the big Hollywood bash back in LA if you really want to. We can honeymoon here in Spain, have a road trip and ignore everyone for a few weeks, and then afterwards face the music and the inevitable onslaught of my agent, family, and hordes of teen fans.’

  She buried her face in his shoulder. ‘Oh God, the fans. Now I’m scared.’


  ‘Don’t be. You can be as in or out of the limelight as you want. You can even stay here if you prefer, and I’ll only act in European films. I don’t expect you to…’

  ‘Shhhh, Josh. We have plenty of time to make plans. Right now, I just want to think about you, me, and this quiet beach.’

  He stopped walking.

  ‘You know what I want to do?’ he said.

  ‘I told you, not until tomorrow night.’

  ‘No. Well, yes, of course, but that’s not what I meant. I want to shout. I want to tell the world how much I love you. I want to scream it up at the stars and out to the sea and wake up the whole of Tarifa. I love Ella!’ he shouted.

  She laughed. Could he be any more dramatic?

  ‘Go on, try it,’ he said.

  ‘I love Josh de Silva.’

  ‘That wasn’t even loud enough to wake up that seagull over there. Louder! Wake up the moon.’

  She couldn’t stop laughing. This was stupid and wonderful and fun. Was life always going to be like this with him? She hoped so because right now she wanted the whole world to know how happy she was.

  • • • • •

  Gabriel watched the couple on the beach and shook his head. This was not good, not good at all. Even though he was too far away for them to notice him, he could still feel what they were feeling.

  Up until now, when he’d watched Ella with others, he’d sensed the constant heaviness within her. Her despair seeped out of every one of her pores like thick black tar, her sadness cloying and suffocating. Ella may have occupied herself with the odd fling, but her heart had remained true to Zadkiel since the day he’d left her.

  Until today. Ella’s soul was now as bright and light as a feather.

  Gabriel had promised Zadkiel that he’d let her know her love was on his way—but now he couldn’t because she was back on her path. No one had been expecting that.

  The man was swinging Ella around in his arms, her feet in the water and the hem of her long dress trailing in the waves.