by Jodi Thomas
"I'm staying right here. You go." Lacy washed her hands. "I need to clean the small scrapes and cuts, then I'll change the bandages as needed."
The doctor hesitated, struggling with the idea, then nodded as if he no longer had the energy to stand. For a young man, he had old ways about him, and she was reminded of how her mother used to say some people were like old souls walking this earth one last time.
"During the night, we'll change shifts." His sad eyes closed as if he prayed. "We'll know more by morning. Until then, there isn't much for either of us to do but wait."
Lacy left him standing by Nell's side as she went into the kitchen to make coffee. They had a long night ahead of them.
She heard Walker return and relieve the sheriff from guard duty. She continued to work as the captain's voice floated from a room away.
"It's a miracle the girl is still alive," Walker reported. "The buggy looked like it had been used for target practice. Once it went off the road, it rolled several times, too damaged to even try and repair. Carter found Nell beneath a pile of rubble."
Lacy glanced in the office as Sheriff Riley shook his head. "I need to make a report, but I'll be back by morning." He stood and moved to the door. "Jay Boy stopped by with the doc's paper, and I told him Lacy and you left town at dawn. I said I wasn't sure when she'd be back, but not to worry."
"Good. Leave Lacy's whereabouts in question."
"The boy said he'd tell Eli and Duncan and help them get out the paper. He said he thought a day or two away might do Lacy good and didn't seem concerned." The old man smiled. "He's a smart one. He'll keep that paper going."
Lacy reasoned that trips to the McKoy farm were frequent, and Jay Boy would know to feed the cats and lock up each night. In a few years he'd be man enough to run the paper. Even now he took more responsibility than most young men his age. His writing was almost as good as Lacy's and better than most of Duncan's work.
She turned back to the cookstove, waiting for the coffee, as she rubbed the back of her neck. As the last rays of the dying sun flickered through the tiny kitchen window, she leaned toward the light, stretching tired muscles.
Walker walked in and stood close behind her. She didn't turn around. She knew the sound of his boots and guessed he must be as tired as she. Too tired to even make an attempt at conversation.
He brushed the muscles of her back with his open hand and without a word let her know he was there if she needed him. Closing her eyes, Lacy smelled trail dust, horses, and leather, as if he'd been riding hard. The usual aroma of his shaving soap had worn off for the day, and in a strange way, she missed it. She leaned into the wind- chilled wool of his coat.
When his hand moved over her shoulder, she shifted with the sore muscles, but he didn't step away. His fingers spread out across her back while his thumbs moved along her spine, pushing into her hair and then down as far as her collar would allow him to go. The gentle, slow movements of his strong hands relaxed her.
Lacy knew she should step away, but his touch was magic. All the fear and worry drifted from her body.
"You all right?" he whispered.
She sighed, realizing that he might need to touch another as dearly as she needed to connect.
His warm hands moved down her back to her waist, then up again to her shoulders. 'Tell me to stop," his voice was even closer to her ear, "if you don't want this."
She would never have been brave enough to tell him what she wanted, what she needed, but she would not tell him to stop. Slowly she leaned her head until it rested against his chest. For the moment he was more than just her husband on paper.
He took the weight of her body against him, moving closer, the warmth of him molding along her back as his hands circled her waist and pulled her to him. His head leaned forward and his chin brushed against her hair.
"It feels so good to hold you," he said low, his breath caressing her ear. "I've thought about... worried about you all day, wishing I could be this close to you ... wanting to know you were safe."
She could guess what he'd been thinking all day. The same thing she had. It could have been her on the table in the other room fighting for life.
Lacy couldn't voice her fears, and she knew Walker wouldn't, for it somehow seemed a great sin to thank heaven it hadn't been her, because by so doing they would also be saying they preferred it to be Nell who was hurt.
"I'd trade places with her if I could," Lacy whispered.
Walker's arms tightened about her waist, and she realized she'd said her thoughts out loud.
"It's not your fault, Lacy."
"But—"
He pressed a kiss near her ear. "None of this is your fault."
She crossed her arms over his, clinging to him as if he might let go and she'd fall. But his hold never lessened. His arms were the harbor she needed. The day of worry and work had left her spinning with fear. Now, he grounded her. She closed her eyes and drew from the strength of the man holding her.
He rocked her gently. The side of his face moved against her hair in a caress. Lacy tried to remember any other time in her life when she'd felt so safe. This captain of hers who had no heart offered her the very thing she needed.
"It feels so good to hold you," he whispered.
"I know," she answered, no longer able to guard her words.
When the coffee boiled over, she pulled away. He let her go with a groan, then straightened as if he'd somehow shown a weakness he hadn't intended to reveal.
Lacy took the doctor a cup, then found Walker in the office. He sat in the room's only comfortable chair behind the doctor's desk, reminding her of how he'd looked two years ago when she'd walked into his office at Cottonwood. She knew him better now, and after the way he'd held her, she knew there was warmth behind the straitlaced captain who had shown none the day they met.
"Dr. McClellan says she's resting quietly. That's a good sign." Lacy put her hands together in front of her, suddenly embarrassed at how she'd leaned so close to him only minutes before. "He's checking the bandages now. I told him I'd take the first shift so he could get some sleep. You could go—"
"I'm not going anywhere," he snapped, seemingly irritated she'd even suggest that he might leave her. "I'll be right here if you need me."
Lacy frowned. She should have known better than to recommend he do anything. The captain always had his actions planned out. But why did he make everything he said sound like a command? Why couldn't he talk with an ounce of the gentleness he'd shown her when he'd held her in the kitchen?
Without another word, she left the room. She was too tired to think about her husband's strange ways. In a few weeks he'd be gone, and she promised herself she'd never think of him again.
The doctor rolled down his sleeves as she stepped back into the room with Nell.
"Call me if there is any change," he said sounding exhausted. "And thanks for being here today. I don't know if your friend would be alive if you hadn't made it possible for me to move so quickly." He smiled. "We make a good team."
"Thank you," she said. "For everything." She almost added, For being kind, for helping Nell, for not yelling at me.
"I'll be right upstairs. If you need me, all you have to do is call. I'll take the next watch."
He walked out the door, and she heard him speak to Walker. Then, all was silent. She wasn't surprised they had little to say to one another; they were as different as two men could be. The doctor fought to save lives. By profession Walker sometimes ended them. Timothy was gentle and soft-spoken. Her husband preferred to order or yell. Yet Walker's touch had been warm, caring, and the doctor's had been, as always, impersonal.
Lacy turned down the lamps, made sure the rolled blankets were tucked around Nell, and relaxed on the small settee by the window. The dainty piece of furniture was too small to lie down on and too long to serve as a comfortable chair.
Lacy glanced around. There was nowhere else to sit in the room unless she wanted to pull a chair in from the office. She wonde
red about Dr. McClellan's strange furniture. Except for the desk and one chair in his office, everything in the place seemed like it would belong more to a woman than a man. Maybe the doctor had a wife who was to have come west with him, but couldn't or wouldn't at the last minute. Also from the settee to the massive desk in the office, all the furniture appeared mismatched.
Lacy sighed, thinking it looked like he'd picked up what everyone else had left behind when the wagons heading west were too heavy. She remembered a few places along the Santa Fe Trail where wagons had to be made lighter to make it any farther. The dumping ground was called the bone pile. She'd seen one with whole dining table and chairs tossed in and pianos amidst the forgotten boxes and trunks that families had first thought they couldn't leave behind.
Lacy wiggled, trying to get comfortable on the settee, but it was a waste of time. The arms were too far apart to sit and too close together to recline.
She glanced up and noticed Walker standing in the doorway watching her.
"What?" she whispered, irritated and too tired to care.
"I brought more wood for the fireplace," he said as if she'd asked politely. He lay it in a box without making a sound. "Do you need anything else?"
"No." She tried to put her arm over the end of the settee. One side was too tall, the other too short to work. "I just have to try to stay awake in case Nell stirs. This thing needs to be a foot longer to recline on or a few feet shorter to sit in. It is an absolutely ridiculous piece of furniture."
"Could I help? I have to remain awake to watch over you." He smiled as she wiggled, trying to get comfortable.
"Would you know what to do if Nell moves?"
"No."
"Then I don't see how you can be of any help, but thank you for the offer." Lacy tried scooting down to rest her head on the back of the settee, but her bottom almost slid to the floor.
Walker crossed the room to her, his coat hooked on one finger and thrown over his shoulder. "I've got an idea. How about I stay awake and you sleep? If Nell moves, I'll wake you, and you can take care of her. At least one of us can sleep then."
Lacy liked the idea but shook her head. "I won't leave the room, and this thing is too little to sleep on."
"Stand up." He offered his hand to help her.
She followed orders, for once too exhausted to argue.
He stepped around her and sat on the settee, then put his arms around her waist and pulled her down. There was enough room for her bottom to slip in between the padded arm and his body, and with her legs over his, she could lift her feet up. She leaned back enough to use the tall padding for a pillow and with his arm draped over her knees, she didn't have to worry about falling on the floor.
"Raise one foot."
She did, and his hand cupped the heel of her boot and pulled it off.
"The other."
He repeated his action.
Swinging his coat over her, he said, "Now sleep. I'll make sure you don't fall, and my coat should keep you warm enough."
"But won't you be cold?"
"I've got you over me." He grinned.
She was too worn out to think of an argument. In truth, she felt comfortable and warm.
Curling into the settee, she ignored the fact that part of her lay across Walker and drifted to sleep as his hand moved gently along her leg until he made sure his coat covered her feet.
CHAPTER 15
Walker watched Lacy wake slowly, struggling as if from a bad dream. She twisted, and he gently tightened his arm across her legs so she wouldn't roll off the settee.
"Lacy? Are you awake?" he asked, brushing the hair from her face.
She shifted again and opened her eyes, coming awake in degrees. "No. Yes. I'm awake. Has Nell moved?"
"No, but you've been asleep for four hours."
She swung her legs off him and stood. "Four hours! I have to check the bandages." His coat tumbled to the floor. "I shouldn't have slept so long."
Walker steadied her as she tried to balance while straightening her clothes and pushing her hair back. He couldn't help but smile. She looked adorable with her dress all twisted and her hair bouncing free around her shoulders. He couldn't hide a grin as he realized he'd never seen a woman wake up before.
She shoved her hair back and searched the settee. "I've lost—"
He opened his hand, and she saw her hairpins.
"My hairpins," she finished needlessly.
"I took them out," he said simply.
Lacy grumbled as she grabbed them. "You pulled my pins out while I was asleep?" She acted as if she was accusing him of something when he was standing right in front of her showing her the evidence. "You touched my hair?"
Walker shrugged. "Guilty."
Lacy arranged the pins in her hair as she walked toward Nell. "Do me a favor, Captain, and don't touch me when I'm asleep."
He thought of all the times he'd touched her in the past nine days, and she hadn't objected most times. Maybe she had a thing about him being near when she slept, or maybe it was her hair. He'd heard women can feel strange about such things. Or maybe she woke up on the wrong side of the settee. It didn't matter, he'd wait and ask her about it later.
She glanced back at him as if expecting him to argue.
He didn't say anything. He planned on making no promise he couldn't keep. The woman slept almost on top of him. He saw no harm in removing the pins to make her more comfortable. If he happened to touch her hair, well, it was part of the service.
He barely hid his grin. In truth, he'd played with her hair most of the time she'd been asleep, enjoying the way it felt.
"Well, do you have anything to say?" she snapped.
"No."
Maybe he should not only stop answering her but stop talking to her altogether. They seemed to do better without words. He'd enjoyed every moment of watching her sleep, but as soon as she woke, she numbered the things he did wrong. Which, he'd decided, might be her favorite pastime.
After tossing another log on the fire, Walker ventured a few steps closer to Nell. The girl was as white as the sheets covering her. He heard her mumble during the hours Lacy slept, but she hadn't cried out. She must not have been in a great deal of pain. They had her packed in among so many blankets that she couldn't have been uncomfortable or cold. Now she looked even younger than her seventeen years.
For a few minutes he watched Lacy's hand gently wrap a bandage across Nell's arm.
When Lacy looked up and saw him, she surprised him with a smile. "There's very little blood, and what's there is drying over the wounds," she whispered, her mood shifting like the wind. "Except on the shoulder where Timothy dug a bullet out." She pushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "I don't think that's anything to worry about. Timothy says the wound needs to bleed a little to clean itself out."
Walker touched the back of his hand to Nell's forehead. "I don't feel any fever." He acted like he knew what he was doing.
Lacy smiled again. "She's going to get through this and be just fine, you'll see. You wouldn't believe what she's gone through in her life. She'd never let a few bullets slow her down."
"I hope not," he added even though he wasn't as sure as Lacy seemed to be. "I don't like seeing her hurt."
"Me either." She touched Nell's cheek. "But she's in good hands. It won't be long before she's whole once more."
Lacy pulled the blanket to Nell's chin and tucked it in with care.
Walker picked up his uniform jacket and dusted invisible dirt off it. "It's long after midnight, and I haven't eaten since those potato pancakes this morning," he said without looking at Lacy.
She tilted her head and watched him. "They're probably still on the table if the cats haven't eaten them. I'm sure they're still just as good."
"How about you stay here while I slip across the alley and check?"
Lacy nodded. "Please, I'm starving."
He placed his rifle at Lacy's side. "If you hear anything, lift this gun and have it already pointed befor
e someone can get to the examining room door. I swear, I'll be back as fast as I can with food, but I need to know you're prepared to defend yourself."
She nodded, frightened by his warning.
A few minutes later he darted up the back stairs to Lacy's apartment. When he entered, he left the door open, despite the cold. Walker could see the back door of the doctor's place, and he didn't want to let it out of his sight even for a moment. The odds were no one knew Lacy was even in the doctor's office, but he still didn't like leaving his post.
Just as Lacy had suspected, her breakfast was still on the table. The cats had finished off the eggs but left the pancakes. Walker glanced at the one-eared Andy. "Traitor," he mumbled. "You could have eaten them, too."
The cat appeared only mildly insulted. Walker grabbed the plate and tossed the leftovers to the stray dog in the alley that had followed him without barking. Walker then collected an armful of food and rushed back to Lacy.
When he passed the dog, the animal was sniffing the potato pancakes.
"There just as good as they were yesterday," Walker mumbled in encouragement, but the dog only watched him pass.
Walker stepped inside the kitchen and set down his load.
"I'm back," he said, locking the door before he crossed the office to where she was.
He found Lacy cleaning the dried blood from Nell's fingers.
She talked to her friend as if Nell could hear. "Now don't you worry, you'll be right as rain in a few days, and then what a story you'll have to tell that ranger of yours who thinks he has all the adventures."
Walker cleared his throat and stepped closer. "You were right," he lied. "The cats finished off our breakfast, but I could scramble some eggs. I brought over the bread and eggs left in the storage chest."
Lacy nodded without much interest. Walker went back to the kitchen. While the stove warmed, he checked the doctor's supply cupboard and found it empty except for three cans of peaches and a few spices. No wonder the doc was so thin.