The Vampire’s Mail Order Bride

by Kristen Painter

  The plaintive note in his voice kept Delaney from bolting. She owed him at least a few minutes to make this madness right. Or to convince her she was dreaming. That’s all this was. A weird, weird dream.

  Elenora stopped smiling. “What?”

  Hugh pointed at Stanhill. “Explain to her what’s going on, please. As you escort her to her car.”

  Stanhill nodded and began herding Elenora out of the library. She went, protesting all the way.

  Hugh turned to the sheriff. “Is there anything else you need from us?”

  Us. The pronoun gave Delaney pause. Were they an us? It sure didn’t feel that way.

  “No. I’ll contact you when I know more. I’ll see myself out.” The sheriff left, and she was alone with Hugh.

  She pulled her hand out of his, and an involuntary shiver ran through her body. “This is just a thing you do, right? You and your family pretend to be vampires. Like Julian was the night we saw him in town? Tell me that’s what it is. Because nothing else makes sense.”

  He took a breath. “It’s not a ruse. What my grandmother said is true. I am, that is, we are vampires.”

  The room tilted slightly, and her ears rang with a tinny sound. She was on the verge of passing out. Or something. This was all really, really weird.

  “I gotta go,” she managed, and then she bolted for her room.

  “Delaney!”

  She ignored him, got inside then shut the door and locked it. Vampires. She didn’t actually believe that, but then she didn’t exactly not believe it. Hell, she didn’t know what she thought except that Hugh and his grandmother were certifiable, and if she stayed here, bad things were going to happen.

  No wonder Hugh needed a matchmaking service.

  This had to be a joke, right? They’d started this town and then drunk too much of their own crazy kool-aid. That’s all it was. Hugh and his family were mildly insane. That didn’t explain the very real-looking fangs and strange silver glint Julian had sported.

  A soft knock broke through her thoughts. “Delaney, we need to talk about this.”

  “I’m good, thanks.” She had to get out of here. She opened a window and peered out. It was only a single-story drop, but what was she going to do with Captain? She couldn’t exactly throw him out the window. Maybe if she shimmied over to the ledge, she could climb down the gutter—

  “Delaney, please. I know how…surreal this must seem.”

  “Not surreal so much as crazy,” she muttered to herself.

  “I’m not crazy.”

  She froze. How had he heard that? Being crazy didn’t give you superhuman hearing.

  “You’re also not in any danger. I swear to you.”

  “Okay, good to know.” If he thought swearing to a thing like that was going to solve everything, he really was nuts. She grabbed Cappy’s carrier bag and shoved him into it, which was like stuffing twenty-seven pounds of furry sausage into a two-pound casing, but so be it.

  “Please open the door so we can talk.”

  “Let’s talk in the morning. I need to sleep on this.” She grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder, then hefted the strap of the carrier over her head and one arm and settled it cross-body style against her back. “Oof, Cappy, you’re a beast.”

  Carefully, she climbed out the window and onto the ledge. Hugh had stopped trying to talk to her through the door. She took that as a good sign. Slowly, she inched her way along the ledge until she came to the gutter. It wasn’t one of those flimsy metal types, but a sturdy column of concrete or stone or whatever it was that wealthy people used to get the rain off their house.

  She latched on to the brackets with her fingers, then wiggled the toes of one foot into the set of brackets below those. Captain shifted, almost unbalancing her.

  “Settle,” she hissed. “This isn’t fun for either one of us.”

  She got her other foot off the ledge and onto the downspout bracket. This was easily the most ridiculous thing she’d ever done. She was kind of out of choices, though. She could either do this and risk the chance that she’d fall and break her neck or she could go back inside and possibly be bitten to death by the very handsome lunatic who owned this house.

  The calories in a single chocolate chip produce enough energy to walk one hundred and fifty feet.

  If only her brain could come up with something more useful, like how to get out of here without dying. Teeth clenched, she shimmied her way down the gutter, losing her grip about halfway down.

  She twisted to protect Cappy and landed in the grass without making too much noise, although he still let out a little yowl. “Hush.”

  She tiptoed to the front of the house. Sheriff Merrow’s patrol car was gone. No chance she could sneak off with him. Although, if he actually was a werewolf, that wasn’t exactly a superior option.

  She pulled the cat carrier around so the bag was in front and more horizontal than vertical. Then she took off into the woods, hoping she’d hit a highway before anything else bad happened.

  Hugh stayed in the shadows as he followed her, a little heartbroken that she was so afraid of him she’d choose to run as opposed to talk to him. He got it, though. Humans were programmed to be afraid of what they didn’t understand.

  A vampire in a romance novel was something very different than one standing in front of you.

  They traipsed through the woods, her crunching through the underbrush, him following soundless as a breath. She’d be angry if she knew he was there, but he wasn’t going to let her come to harm because of what had happened.

  She had enough to deal with already, what with seeing that man shot.

  After about half an hour, she came to a stream. It was an off shoot of Wolf Creek, which was one of the main waterways that fed the falls. She sat beside the stream, took the cat carrier off and set it beside her, then put her head onto her knees.

  He thought she was going to cry.

  She didn’t, proving once again how very different she was from the women he was used to. Instead, she talked to her cat.

  “We’re kinda hosed, Cap.” She tipped her head back and sighed. “It’s totally my fault.” She was silent for a moment. “I screwed up our karma by stealing that woman’s file and pretending to be her. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  She unzipped the top flap enough to stick her hand in and scratch him. “I’m really sorry.” Captain purred softly. That seemed to make her feel worse. She sniffed.

  Maybe she was going to cry after all.

  Then she took a deep inhale, blew it out and stared at the water. The moon bathed everything in a silvery light, but he doubted it was enough for her to see him if she turned around.

  He crept closer, wishing he could comfort her in some way. Tell her it was going to be okay.

  She petted Captain some more. “I’m not sorry I met Hugh. Or at least, I wasn’t until he let his freak flag fly. A vampire. Can you believe that? And the grandmother thinks she’s one too. And the sheriff is a werewolf. Add that Alice woman being a witch, and they make this town seem like a cover story for a whole lot of genuine weirdness.”

  He couldn’t stand it anymore. He walked forward, crunching leaves underfoot to give her some warning. “That’s because it is.”

  She grabbed the strap of the carrier like she was about to run again, her pulse ratcheting back up. “Don’t come any closer.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Delaney. I have no desire to do that. All I want to do is help you understand.” And keep her safe. And kiss her some more.

  She stared at him. Her pulse evened out a little. “Why does your grandmother think you two are vampires?”

  “Because we are.” He pointed to the ground. “You mind if I sit?”

  “It’s a free forest.”

  Actually, it was Ellingham land, but telling her that wasn’t going to buy him any consideration. He sat and crossed his legs. “We’ve been vampires since 1665.”

  Her lids lowered in that way a person’s did when th
ey thought they were dealing with an obvious lie. “So you’re…” He could see her adding sums in her head. “You’re three hundred and fifty years old?”

  “Three hundred and seventy seven, to be exact. I was twenty-seven when Didi turned me.”

  Delaney’s silent stare unnerved him, but at least she stayed put. “Didi was a vampire before you?”

  He paused. He was about to share Ellingham history with her. The kind of information that could be their undoing if she decided to use it against him. “Lady Elenora Ellingham, Dowager Duchess of Sinclair, was known for keeping an eccentric court. One of her suitors, a strange, wealthy Frenchman by the name of Alard Desmarais had revealed himself to her as a vampire. She thought it was a parlor trick until she got to know him.”

  “What happened?” Delaney seemed rapt by the story now. Maybe he was making headway.

  “In 1665, a plague struck London. It took my parents. Didi was bereft at losing her son and daughter-in-law. She refused to lose her grandsons as well. She begged Alard to turn us. He agreed on the condition that she would allow him to turn her as well.”

  “Obviously, she agreed.”

  Hugh nodded. “Then she turned us. I was the first since I was already at court. Then Sebastian, then Julian.” He blinked hard. Memories strobed through his brain, robbing his ability to speak for a moment. He’d never told this story to anyone outside of Juliette. There’d never been a reason.

  “Are you okay?”

  He was thrown by the compassion in her voice. It affected him almost more than the memories had. He looked away, unwilling to show her what he was feeling. “I’m fine.”

  He stood suddenly, ready for a change of topic. “I suppose you’d like proof.”

  She hugged the cat carrier to her.

  “I didn’t mean by biting anyone.”

  “That’s excellent news.” The slight quirk at the corners of her mouth told him she still didn’t believe him. She put the carrier back on the ground.

  “How about this?” His fangs shot through his gums, and he opened his mouth so she could see them. In full vampire form, his pupils would shine like an animal’s, silvery white. He wasn’t sure there was enough moonlight to make that happen.

  “Those are pretty convincing, but you can buy amazingly real fangs at the mall around Halloween. Or, you know, probably all year round in this town.”

  He closed his mouth and sighed. “Maybe I should bite you.”

  “Hey now—”

  He held up his hand. “I won’t. Biting a person starts a process, and I’m not about to do that to you.” But he needed her to know that he wasn’t insane. They’d come this far. “What can I do to prove that I’m telling the truth?”

  She frowned. “Hugh, it’s clear you believe you’re a vampire—”

  “Because I am.”

  She raised her brows. “I’ve seen you outside while the sun was up. I’m pretty sure that’s a big vampire no-no.”

  He ground his teeth together. He couldn’t tell her about the amulet. They’d taken a vow as a family never to reveal that secret to anyone. “I can take a little sun.” Bloody hell, that sounded false even to his ears.

  She smiled in a sad, sure-sure kind of way. “You’re a nice guy, Hugh. Maybe you should talk to somebody about this vampire thing—”

  “Brace yourself.” So help him, he was about to do something he swore he’d never do. It was so…tween movie. Unfortunately, he was out of other ideas.

  “What?”

  He lunged forward, took her into his arms and sped through the woods. She inhaled sharply, a deep shuddering breath that took the place of a scream. He dodged trees and leaped fallen logs as he made a wide circle and brought her back to the creek’s edge a few moments later. They’d probably gone a mile.

  He put her on her feet. “Now do you believe me?”

  She wobbled her head in what he took to be a nod, then opened her mouth to say something and fainted.

  Delaney woke up fully clothed on the four-poster bed. Even her shoes were still on. She blinked, getting her bearings. Soft snoring turned her head. Captain sprawled on the pillow next to her. The room was dark, but a little moonlight filtered through the curtains. She’d had the strangest dream.

  It had been a dream. Or… She sat up and stared into the dimness, trying to comprehend the last thing she remembered.

  Could Hugh really be a vampire? Vampires weren’t real. Were they? He’d seemed so earnest. And not the least bit off his rocker. But then there was that speed run through the woods. There was no denying he was something…more than human. Which brought her back to whether or not he could really be a vampire.

  Her hand went to her neck. No bite marks that she could feel. She looked at Cappy. He purred as she checked his fatness for evidence of a bite. Nothing. Hugh had promised she was safe with him. As far as she could tell, he hadn’t lied about that.

  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and kicked off her shoes. She dug her toes into the plush carpet. The bedside clock said a little after one in the morning, but there was no way she’d be able to fall back asleep with all these questions keeping her brain spun up.

  She left her room and went out into the hall. Muted voices carried up from somewhere below. The deep male tones sounded like Hugh and Stanhill.

  She traipsed down the steps and found them in the spacious living room, Hugh standing beside the fireplace, Stanhill leaning against the back of one couch. They stopped talking when she came in.

  Feeling a bit like an interloper, she smiled sheepishly. “Hi.”

  Hugh looked her over. “How are you feeling?”

  “I fainted, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I feel okay.”

  Stanhill straightened. “How about a cup of hot chocolate, miss?”

  “That sounds great, thank you.”

  When he left, she sat on the couch and tucked her feet under her and took a breath. “We need to talk.”

  “I concur.” Hugh came and sat across from her. “Where do you want to start?”

  She stared at his knees. It was safer than having those piercing eyes of his derail her train of thought. “I don’t know if I believe you’re a vampire yet.”

  “That’s okay. Are you afraid of me?”

  She liked that he asked the tough questions straight out. There was a lot to be said for not dancing around the elephant in the room. “I didn’t wake up with any bite marks, so…”

  Mischief sparkled in his eyes. “Yes, but did you check the cat?”

  She laughed softly as she looked at him. “I did, actually.”

  He groaned good-naturedly and scrubbed a hand across his face. “The curse of my kind.”

  “Speaking of, and I’m not saying I’m buying into this whole thing yet, but let’s say there are vampires. Are they everywhere?”

  He nodded. “Not just vampires, but shifters of all varieties, witches, fae, jinn—”

  She held her hands up. “Okay, I get it. We are not alone.” Seriously, though, that was a lot to accept. “So every town has these supernatural creatures?”

  “Every town. Every state. Every country. Humans just can’t differentiate us from anyone else so we blend right in. Unless you happen to see our non-human side. Then you’d know.”

  “Non-human. That’s putting a pin in it, huh? So you mean fangs and silvery eyes and what else? Do you fly? Turn into a bat? Please, in the name of all things sweet and sugary, do not tell me you sparkle.”

  One of his brows lifted indignantly. “No. No sparkling. Or turning into bats. Not in my family.”

  Stanhill came back in with her hot chocolate. Of course it was in a china cup and saucer on a silver tray. “Can I get you anything else, miss?”

  “No, thank you.” She took the cup and saucer and set it on the table separating the two couches. Talking about this was starting to make everything seem more real. “Are you a vampire too, Stanhill?”

  “No, miss. I’m a…” He glanced at
Hugh.

  “Go ahead, tell her.”

  Stanhill nodded. “I’m Hugh’s rook.”

  “What is that?” She sipped the chocolate, which was hot but delicious.

  Stanhill tucked the tray behind his back. “A rook is a vampire’s assistant. We do daylight errands. Protect the vampire while they’re sleeping. That sort of thing.”

  “And in return you get what? I hope you at least have dental.” She slanted her eyes at Hugh. “That wasn’t a fang joke, I swear.”

  Stanhill lifted his chin. “My compensation is immortality. A boost to the senses, not as much as a vampire, but a nice bump. Faster healing. Lots of perks.”

  “No downside?”

  He shrugged. “Can’t be too far away from Hugh for any length of time. That’s a bit of a drag, as I’m sure you can imagine.” He winked at her.

  “How do you get to be a rook?” She raised a hand. “Purely out of curiosity. I have no desire to become one.”

  “Almost the same way you become a vampire. Two bites in a set period of time.”

  She looked at Hugh. “You did this to him then?”

  Hugh nodded. “He was my valet.”

  “Why not turn him into a full-fledged vampire?”

  “I didn’t want that, miss,” Stanhill answered. “I’d been in service since I was a wee lad. I was happy to stay on in that regard.” His jaw worked like he was fighting emotion. “Saved me from the plague, he did.”

  She studied Hugh, shaking her head slowly. “This is nuts. You know that, right?”

  “I’ll leave you to it then.” Stanhill gave them a little nod and left.

  Hugh said nothing for a few moments. “I know it must be hard to accept. And I’m sure you have more questions.”

  “Yes. Thousands. But I don’t know where to start.” She drank a little more of her chocolate, buying herself time to sort the chaos in her head.

  “What comes to mind first?”

  “Is the sheriff really a werewolf?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do your brothers have rooks?”

  “Sebastian, yes. Julian, no.” Hugh snorted. “Probably for the best. A rook would only cramp his style.”