Harbor Lights

by Sherryl Woods

  Still, he couldn’t regret what had happened here. Loving Shanna had been beyond his wildest expectations. He’d sensed some initial reserve in her that he hadn’t understood. It was almost as if she’d been fighting off demons of some kind. If he hadn’t known about her marriage, he might have wondered if she was a virgin, because of her hesitancy, then the deliberate nature of her actions. She’d seemed intent on moving forward as if it were a mission, rather than an anticipated joy.

  Thinking back on it now, he had the feeling she’d been testing herself—or him—in some way. If she had, they’d both apparently passed, because the night had been filled with sensations and laughter and the kind of passion he hadn’t expected to experience again for a long time. The connection between them had been deeper and more meaningful than he’d expected, as well.

  What now, though? He’d made no promises, made that very clear, in fact. It was ironic then that he was the one who’d awakened wanting more. He’d never thought of this as a one-night stand, but right this second, he found himself wanting forever. That feeling scared the daylights out of him, especially with another wave of guilt arriving hard on its heels. He could almost hear his former mother-in-law’s voice in his head, criticizing him for replacing Georgia in his life. She’d made the accusation often enough before she left that her words were burned into his memory.

  He slipped out of Shanna’s bed, hunted for his clothes and headed for the bathroom to dress. Not wanting to turn on a light and wake her, he left the door open to let in the glow from the streetlights. Standing there, he could watch her sleep, take in how beautiful she was with the sheet barely covering her, her hair tousled. The idea of joining her in that bed again was way too tempting. He turned away and quickly put on his clothes.

  When he was dressed, he paused by the side of the bed, then leaned down and dropped a light kiss on her forehead. She stirred slightly.

  “Kevin,” she murmured.

  “Go back to sleep, Shanna. It’s still the middle of the night, but I have to get home, check on Davy and then take off for Annapolis.”

  “’kay,” she mumbled and settled more snugly under the covers, her arms wrapped around a pillow instead of him.

  He sighed, forcing himself to turn away and leave. If it was this hard to walk away now, after just one night, what was going to happen as time passed? He’d never been one for casual flings. Mick had instilled a strong sense of honor in his sons, made them understand not to take sex lightly.

  Thinking back, Kevin wondered if perhaps that was why he’d raced into marriage with Georgia, because once they’d fallen into bed, he’d assumed that also meant they’d fallen in love. Only much, much later had he realized how wrong he’d been.

  Too late, he told himself as he drove home. There was no going back and fixing that at this late date. All he could do was make sure he never made the same mistake a second time. He and Shanna were just getting to know each other on a whole new level. This time he wouldn’t rush headlong into anything.

  Which meant he needed to take an emotional step back from Shanna whether he wanted to or not. And if that meant staying out of her bed, where his resolve was bound to become a little murky, then so be it.

  Mick took an early-morning flight from New York back to Baltimore. He had work to do on the plans for Bree’s theater, which was about to start construction as soon as all the permits were approved. She’d do her first, trial-run production at the local high school this fall, then one more over the winter. The plan was to launch a full season in the new Chesapeake Shore Community Theater next summer.

  As anxious as he was to get this project off the ground and completed for Bree and for the town, he regretted having to run off yet again and leave Megan. He was increasingly frustrated by her refusal to do the sensible thing and move back home, with or without a ring on her finger. He’d marry her or give her more time, whichever she preferred, but he wanted her close, back in all their lives.

  Damn, the woman was stubborn! Even as he thought it, he acknowledged the irony with a grin. That contrariness made her a good match for him, though when they butted heads it definitely made life difficult. Neither one of them had the capacity to give an inch.

  Because she was so much on his mind, he pulled out his cell phone as soon as he landed and called her at work.

  “I miss you already,” he told her. “Fly down here this weekend.”

  “Mick, that’s only a couple of days away,” she protested. “You were just here.”

  “And I can’t get enough of you,” he responded, then mustered all the arguments he thought might strike a chord. “Think about it, Meggie. You’ll be able to look over the plans for the new community theater and talk ’em over with Bree, and you’ll be able to get a fix on what’s going on between Kevin and Shanna. Then there’s the chance to spend time with Caitlyn, Carrie and Davy. Those three grandkids of ours are growing mighty fast. In the blink of an eye they’ll be headed off to college and lives of their own.”

  She laughed. “You’re a sneaky devil, Mick O’Brien. You know I can’t resist spending time with our children and grandchildren, though I think we have a bit longer than the blink of an eye before the little ones head off to college.”

  “Push whichever button might work, that’s what I always say,” he told her. “Will you come?”

  “I have to work Saturday morning,” she began, then hesitated long enough to make him nervous. “But I’ll fly down in the afternoon.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Not soon enough, but I’ll take it,” he said at once. “Especially if it means you’ll stay through Monday.”

  She waited a moment, most likely just to torture him, then said, “I can do that.”

  He chuckled. “Maybe I should have pushed for Tuesday.”

  “Then I’d have had to tell you no. Take your small victory and be happy,” she said.

  “I love you, Meggie.”

  “And I you. Just don’t let it go to your head or start making assumptions.”

  “Not where it’s heading,” he said dryly, hoping his very physical reaction to her words wasn’t evident to any passerby.

  “Stop that kind of talk,” she said, though she was chuckling. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “Let me know your flight and I’ll pick you up,” he told her.

  “I can rent a car,” she protested.

  “And I can pick you up,” he responded. “It’ll give me extra time with you coming and going.”

  “You just like that I’ll be at your mercy once I get to town,” she chided.

  “Now that you mention it, that is a wonderful bonus,” he told her.

  He ended the call with reluctance, then went to the parking garage, got his car and headed home. There was no telling what he’d find these days when he got there, and that was exactly the way he liked it. For a man his age, he was discovering he was fond of surprises, especially when it came to his family. It was a huge change from the days when he’d come home out of a sense of duty, his thoughts still on whatever project he’d left behind rather than on what was waiting for him at home. Now the opposite was true.

  And recognizing that told him that perhaps he truly was ready for the kind of future that Megan deserved.

  Shanna was in touch with Greta almost every day, though she didn’t always speak to Henry. She understood that too much contact with the boy could wind up being counterproductive. She was no longer part of his life, not really, and she didn’t want to upset or confuse him by acting as if she was. Still, she felt the need to know what was going on with Greg and that Henry was doing well.

  Today when she called, Greta sounded subdued. “Mrs. Hamilton has decided Henry and I should move into her house. She says Henry’s dad isn’t likely to be back home for several months, assuming he stays in treatment the way the doctor’s recommending.”

  “I suppose that makes sense,” Shanna said, her heart sinking. The Hamilton home, with its heavy, dark drapes blocking out ligh
t, its valuable antiques and expensive breakables, was no place for a young, energetic boy.

  Shanna had always suspected that Greg had been told no so often as a child, he’d openly rebelled as an adult and done every conceivable thing that had been forbidden to him earlier in his life. His house had been light and airy with virtually nothing sitting on tables. In fact, the environment had been almost sterile, but he’d encouraged Henry to play in any room he chose. And he rarely, if ever, told him he couldn’t do something. With another child, the result could have been disastrous, but Henry wasn’t spoiled. He’d somehow always known the limits or simply been so eager to please that he’d been mostly well behaved.

  Shanna knew he’d probably be okay wherever he lived, but she worried at the oppressive environment that was the Hamilton home, especially when both of the adults there were bound to be worried sick and totally focused on Greg.

  “Mrs. Shanna, I don’t want to live there,” Greta admitted.

  “You have to,” Shanna said, alarmed. “Henry will need you more than ever.”

  “I know,” the nanny said with a deep sigh. “But Mrs. Hamilton and I, we never see eye to eye on things. She’s entirely too strict with him, but I’m not sure a constant test of wills between the two of us will be good for Henry.”

  “Please try,” Shanna begged. “For his sake. I know she can be impossible, but just agree with her, then do what you think is best.”

  “What I think is best is for Henry to come and stay with you,” she said flatly. “I’ve been with him practically since his mama died when he was a baby. He was never happier than when you were here.”

  Shanna’s eyes stung with more unshed tears. “Oh, Greta, you know there’s nothing I’d like more, but it’s impossible.”

  “Nothing is impossible,” Greta said with grim determination. “I intend to tell Mrs. Hamilton what I think until it finally sinks into that thick head of hers. I’ll tell her ten times a day and twice that on Sundays, if that’s what it takes.”

  Shanna fought a grin. She’d love to see that, but in the end it would only wind up with Greta getting fired.

  “You know you can’t do that,” she chided. “She won’t abide back talk from you.”

  “Well, I can dream about it,” Greta insisted. “And one of these days, who knows what might pop out of my mouth? I know she cares about Henry. She just doesn’t want to admit that what he needs to be happy is to be with you, so he can have a normal childhood.”

  “Maybe this time Greg will get through rehab and pull himself together,” Shanna said. “Henry needs his dad.”

  “Henry needs the man his dad used to be,” Greta said direly. “We both know that’s unlikely.”

  “I won’t accept that,” Shanna said. Because if she did, it would mean admitting that Henry was doomed to a life of chaos and uncertainty.

  “It’s too bad that man threw away the best thing that ever happened to him,” Greta said. “You always believe the best about him, even now.”

  “I want to,” Shanna said. “I loved him. Admitting I’d made a mistake about the kind of man he was, that was hard for me. Even so, there had to be some kind of decency inside him. I don’t believe I could have loved him, even for such a short time, if there hadn’t been more than good looks and charm.”

  “Many a woman has been fooled by a persuasive man on his best behavior,” Greta said. “Some of them do have good in them. Some are bad right down to the bone. Mr. Hamilton, I’m not so sure about him.”

  “Well, I am,” Shanna insisted. “Look how wonderful Henry is, despite everything he’s been through. Some of that has to be due to Greg’s influence.”

  “I suppose,” Greta conceded. “I’ll call you once we’re settled with the Hamiltons. It’s probably best if I do that, rather than you calling me.”

  “Of course,” Shanna said, knowing how risky a poorly timed call from her could be. “Tell Henry I love him. I’m not sure he believes it anymore, but it’s true.”

  “He knows. In his heart, he knows,” Greta assured her.

  Shanna hung up slowly, then looked up to see Bree standing there, openmouthed with apparent shock.

  “You’re in love with someone named Henry?” she said accusingly.

  Shanna winced at her icy tone. “Bree, you misunderstood.”

  “The words were pretty clear,” she insisted. “Oh, Shanna, how could you do this to Kevin? How could you let him fall for you if you’re in love with someone else?”

  Shanna sighed. “It’s not what you think.”

  “I know what I heard,” Bree said, sparks in her eyes, every bit of O’Brien protectiveness kicking in. “You didn’t know I was standing here, so what you were saying had to be the truth. Now you’re just scrambling to cover it up.” She shook her head. “How could you do that to Kevin when you know what he’s been through? You’ve fooled all of us.”

  Shanna let her rant on for several more minutes until she finally wound down. She realized how Bree could have misunderstood what she’d heard, but if she would just let Shanna get a word in edgewise, she could actually explain.

  Bree’s tirade finally slowed, but the anger in her eyes hadn’t dimmed.

  “My turn now?” Shanna inquired.

  “Go ahead. Try to explain it away,” Bree said, her tone unforgiving and filled with skepticism.

  “Henry is seven years old. He’s my stepson, the child of my former husband.”

  Bree looked unconvinced. “Do you swear that’s the truth?” she asked eventually.

  Shanna kept her gaze level. “It’s the truth. I’ll get my wallet and show you his picture, if you like.”

  Bree backed down as quickly as she’d become irate. “Shanna, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You never mentioned having a stepson.”

  “Because the whole situation is incredibly painful. I don’t like to think about it, much less talk about it.”

  “Does Kevin know?”

  “He knows my marriage was a mess, but he doesn’t know about Henry. It hasn’t come up.”

  “So, when you divorced, you not only left your husband, you lost someone you’d come to think of as a son,” Bree said, putting the pieces together.

  Shanna nodded. Close to crying earlier, now her eyes filled up and tears trickled down her cheeks. “Bree, walking away from that child was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “You don’t have any relationship with him now?”

  “Only by phone. The nanny fills me in, too. She was the one on the phone just now. That’s the most the court would allow. Though we’d known each other for quite a while, Greg and I were married less than a year. His entire family fought against my having any visitation rights. They said it would be too disruptive and confusing.”

  “Oh, my God, I can’t imagine how hard that must be,” Bree said, instantly sympathetic. “Shanna, I’m so sorry.”

  “Yeah, me, too. It’s even worse right now, because there’s a crisis and I still can’t be there for him.”

  “If you want to be there, maybe you should just go. What’s the court going to do, have you arrested?”

  Shanna smiled at that. “The judge might not, but Henry’s grandmother would likely give it a try.”

  “I’ll go with you and bail you out,” Bree offered. “In fact, all of us will. Can you imagine the combined force of all the O’Briens descending on them at the jail? Or maybe taking on Grandma?”

  That image made Shanna laugh. She stood up and hugged Bree. “Thank you for offering. You have no idea how much that means to me.”

  “You need to fill Kevin in,” Bree said, sobering. “You know, the fact that you left behind a child, even a stepchild, is going to be difficult for him to accept.”

  Shanna nodded. “I figured that out the other day after you told me about your mother and your theory about his feelings for Georgia. I’m scared to tell him,” she admitted. “It could change the way he feels about me.”

  “Not telling him could be worse,” Bree adv
ised. “Sooner or later he’ll pick up on something or someone will say the wrong thing. It’s better if he hears about this from you. After all, this wasn’t your fault, Shanna.”

  “I know, but on days like today, I feel as if it was, as if I’ve let that little boy down terribly. What if Kevin feels that way, too?”

  “He won’t if he knows the whole story,” Bree said confidently. “Tell him.”

  “I will,” Shanna said. “I’ll find the right time.”

  “Make the right time,” Bree said. “When Jake and I had some things we had to work through, that’s what my dad told me, that I had to insist on talking, that waiting around for the perfect time was a recipe for disaster. No time is ever perfect.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Shanna promised.

  Bree stood up to go. “You okay now? Want me to bring you some comfort food from Sally’s? A chocolate croissant, maybe?”

  “I’m okay,” Shanna told her. “Thanks for listening and for understanding.”

  “Which I only did after ripping into you,” Bree said ruefully. “Sorry about that.”

  “Hey, you were being protective of Kevin. I get that. The way you all stand up for each other is one of the things I like best about your entire family. You might give each other all kinds of grief, but when it comes down to it, you’re united against anyone who’d hurt one of you.”

  “True,” Bree said. “Just keep in mind, one of these days I expect you to be a part of this family, so you’ll get our backup, as well. All you have to do is ask.”

  Shanna held back a fresh batch of tears until after Bree had left, then went into the back room and let them flow. When they ended at last, amazingly she felt cleansed. Things were starting to look brighter. And she knew that even if the situation with Greg and Henry worsened, she’d find some way to help…even if she had to charge into enemy territory with an army of O’Briens at her back.

  Kevin found excuses to stay later and later in Annapolis just so he could avoid the temptation of spending time with Shanna. No one called him on it the first week, but Abby pulled him aside when he came by late in the evening to pick up Davy in the middle of the second week.