by TJ Muir
Kirrin,
I hope you are feeling better than the last time I saw you. I had hoped to see you, but I won’t have the chance. My father found out about us and is sending me away to stay with my cousins in a village across the river. I wanted to tell you in person that I think I am pregnant. Please come find me
all my love,
Miral
Kirrin’s jaw dropped and the letter fell from his hands. The gods just couldn’t help themselves from finding new ways to make his life miserable.
Pregnant??? How? They hadn’t been sleeping together that long, had they? He tried to remember how much time had passed since The first time, but it was all a blur. Could she really be pregnant? Maybe she was just playing games again. He wouldn’t put it past her.
What if it were true though? Could he leave her to raise a kid without a father? He thought about his own life and for a moment he was determined to go find her immediately. But what could he offer her? What kind of life? Would they be safer far away from him? His life was rapidly becoming far too dangerous and complicated for people like Miral, or Eben. How could he be a father and a good example to a child? But what life would a child have without a father? Again, he felt trapped in a situation where there was no good answer.
Rubbing his hands through his hair, he forced himself up. Once he was clean and dried, he carried his note in to Esh’ral, placing it on the desk.
On his way out the door, he almost bumped into the steward. Where had the man been hiding to just suddenly be there?
“I left a note for the So’har. It’s on the desk.”
Esh’ral held up his hand, stopping Kirrin, and walked over to look at the note. “The So’har will speak with you.”
Kirrin nodded, swallowing hard. He remembered waiting months for the So’har to request his presence. Why couldn’t he be that lucky now?
He found Hak’kar standing by the south window, staring out. He spoke without turning around. “It comes to us that the suspected thief was found dead. Apparent suicide.”
Hak’kar had already heard? It had been less than a day. Kirrin felt his mouth go dry, realizing just how far the man’s reach must be.
He turned, regarding Kirrin without expression. “It was well done. The matter was handled with finesse.”
Kirrin nodded, acknowledging praise that felt like ashes in his mouth now. He looked up to this man, respected and even liked him. The approval meant a lot. But a voice in the back of his head warned caution. “I took care of things in such a way that should end any further questions.”
Hands clasped behind his back, Hak’kar strolled over to a table strewn with maps of the southern region. “And yet, last night, with the deed accomplished, you did not immediately return here.”
“No, sir.” Kirrin’s stomach knotted, realizing he had failed at a protocol that mattered to the So’har. “I returned home first, to see my mother. I know she worries about me, so I wanted to assure her I was well.”
Hak’kar regarded the maps and their accompanying scraps of paper scribbled with passages from the book Kirrin had stolen.“You care greatly for your mother, yes?”
“I do,” Kirrin said. A worrisome feeling in his gut warned him this was no casual conversation. “She has always worked really hard so she could take care of me.”
Hak’kar looked up, meeting Kirrin’s gaze. “We would not want this concern to interfere with your work here.”
Fear made Kirrin’s heart stutter. “No, sir. It doesn’t. It won’t.”
A long pause. Too long. Hak’kar made a pretense of looking down at the table, but Kirrin could tell that the man was not that interested in the papers. With each heartbeat, Kirrin’s dread grew, his stomach twisting into knots. Just as Kirrin was about the explode, either screaming or running from the room, Hak’kar looked up.
“We will make arrangements to assure this,” Hak’kar said. “She will no longer need to work, and her needs will be taken care of.”
“Sir?”
“Accommodations will be arranged, a small cottage or farmstead. Somewhere nearby, but away from the immediate dangers of the city.”
Kirrin blinked, mind racing. “She likes her position, sir. Loves the inn where she works. It’s our home.”
“We have decided this. It will be done. We will assure her safety and wellbeing.” The tone in his voice made it clear refusal was not an option. The slight emphasis on safety and wellbeing was not lost on Kirrin.
Kirrin could not help but imagine what might happen were he to ignore the warning. A fire at the inn, perhaps? He could not hold back a shiver.“I will speak with her, sir. I will make her understand. I am sure she will be honored by the generous gesture.” Kirrin knew most of it was a lie, but the words sounded appropriate. He had no idea how he was going to convince his mother to ‘retire.’
From what Hak’kar had said, his own men were going to see to the process of having her moved. He knew there would be a lot of yelling, and tears, and anguish. This was going to cause a rift between them that he might never be able to repair. Perrin would be devastated, having come to rely on her to manage the entire kitchen for the inn. As to whether there was something more between them, Kirrin had never been sure about that. He suspected there was some kind of understanding, or arrangement between them but whatever it was it had always been discreet. Fin and Chad would also be furious, sometimes being more protective of her than Kirrin was, which annoyed him. They were not family.
He forced himself back to his main problem, and knew there wasn’t going to be any nice way to do it. would he have to tell her everything? How could he explain to her that he was now the hands that did Hak’kar’s dirty work? Was he going to just tell her that she was being taken as a hostage against Kirrin’s good behaviour and continued service?
He realized that Hak’kar had been speaking and shook himself, trying to piece together what he might have missed.
“When that is taken care of, return here. There are plans to be made. It would be good to find a way into Da’har Pavan’s household, to be eyes and ears there, regarding the southern regions. He has been showing far too much interest in the skirmishes on the border and I would like to know his motivations. Is this just about an opportunity to profit? Or is he privy to something more? The tribes are stirring, and the south is responding. A storm is brewing and I do not choose to be caught out in the rain. You can get the details from Esh’ral.” He waved a hand in dismissal.
Kirrin turned to go.
“And Kirrin?”
He paused, one hand on the door, looking back over his shoulder. “Yes, sir?”
“This time, if it please you, no dead bodies.”
SOFT BREAK
Kirrin wandered back outside. The heat of the day was building, but it was less intense here than in the city. Grass and trees, Kirrin thought to himself. Then he went out to his area and worked through his routines. He was beginning to understand the wisdom of Ch’hikk’s approach. Training really was the solution to most things.
He was halfway through his third round when the shadow dancer showed up. How did she always know where to find him? He finished the routine and then hopped down from the stump, half expecting her to drag him off on a run.
Instead, she sat down under the tree, leaning back against the massive trunk, patting the ground next to her- an invitation for him to sit.
“A good m’retsun?”
Stopping to pick up a towel, he rolled his neck back and forth. “Helpful. I like the Cheenad routine, for focus.”
A nod of approval. “The Bruvam routine will help center your energy, but the Cheenad is also good.”
“The Bruvam still gives me frustration, so the Cheenad works better when I am tired.”
A quick laugh and another nod. “Mastering the Bruvam will serve you better. The seeming abrupt changes and quicker moves help thinking on the feet and will teach how to keep the center balanced while doing it.” She placed one hand low on her abdomen. “Now, your cente
r is here--” she said, raising her hand to the base of her ribs.
Kirrin nodded. He knew his body was not well centered, but the routines helped. “I’ll remember to focus on that.”
“You spoke with the So’har?” she asked.
“What?” Kirrin blinked, trying to catch up, understanding that nuance she had just been talking about. Somehow in her mind, there was a logical transition from Kirrin’s center of balance and the So’har. Intuitive leaps-- something he needed to improve. “Yes. He seems to have much more interest in me lately.”
Kirrin filled in the details for her, watching her for any minute reactions but the shadow dancer gave nothing away.
“It seems your path is clear.”
Kirrin snorted. Then he realized it was true, in the sense that she meant it. For the foreseeable future, Kirrin didn’t have any good options. He was the So’har’s man--whatever that would mean. He nodded his agreement and understanding. In his heart, he also knew he had wanted this, had prayed for it. How could he have known that his prayers would be answered in such a twisted fashion?
“The better skilled you become at knowing the landscape, the easier to avoid the kind of pitfalls you have encountered in the past.”
“What does he expect of me, anyway?”
Now it was her turn to shrug. “Loyalty. Your quick mind, and your ability to blend in, in ways that Kip and Duffy cannot.”
As he considered her words, he reached each arm up behind his head, stretching, trying to think.
“It is possible that he likes knowing what you are capable of, without the intention of needing to make use of it.”
“Meaning what? Just the occasional crime?”
Ch’hikk’s level stare unnerved him.
“Want to know what he has me doing now? Chasing down fairy tales. Children’s bedtime stories.” He snorted.
“He is looking for the lost pieces of the prophecy?”
“I think he thinks there is a connection between that and the prophecy.” Kirrin said. “It always comes back to the prophecies, with him.”
“The So‘har is a driven man. That makes him a dangerous man.”
Kirrin nodded, understanding the truth of her words. “Do you think he is right? Do you think it is the time of the prophecy?”
Ch’hikk stared down at the ground without speaking, for a while. She looked up, looking closely at Kirrin. “There are things known only to the few. Knowledge that is not meant for everyone. You understand?”
Kirrin nodded- if there was one thing he understood, it was keeping secrets.
“The Shadow dancers, and perhaps some of the older temples, hold closely guarded knowledge. It is possible that the signs point to the time prophecies speak of. The ancient sites are stirring.”
“You mean like the tunnels?”
“Perhaps, that may be part of it. I will need to explore that further, if the tunnel can be found again.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I returned to the site, I could not locate the entrance.”
Kirrin twitched, as though eyes were boring into his back, staring. “How could the alley and entire passageway be gone?”
Ch’hikk shrugged. “That is the question, is it not?”
“Have you ever heard of something like that happening before?”
“Magic can be that way, shift things, or hide them.”
“So you think those tunnels were magic?
“From the runes and the lights, almost certainly.”
Another shiver. Kirrin wasn’t familiar with magic, but he noticed it didn’t seem to bother Ch’hikk.
“Did you speak of that with the So’har?”
Kirrin shook his head.
“Good. Can you keep this from him?”
“I think so. I don’t have a lot of choices about serving him, but I know he will twist everything he learns, trying to make it fit, make himself fit into the center of the prophecies.”
“That is dangerous, tampering with prophecies and gods. Gods rarely like it when mortals try to predict and anticipate their will. Prophecies are like promises from the gods. They tend to get fulfilled precisely the way they were promised, but never in the way that is expected. It is always best to trust the gods plans to happen, and not interfere with higher powers. It can be like putting oneself in the path of a flood.”
Kirrin nodded. He wanted as little as possible to do with the divine plan. “You know a lot about this. Is that because you are a shadow dancer? Is this known to all shadow dancers?”
“Some. Being a shadow dancer is different for each member. There is no one set of rules, no single body of knowledge that all must attain.”
Kirrin chewed his lip, thinking. “Could I be a shadow dancer?” He watched Ch’hikk, hoping for some reaction that might tell him what she was thinking.
“It is not for me to decide. But I think you will find it very difficult to walk that path.”
“I could do it. I’ll train harder. I can almost keep up with you now.”
Ch’hikk shook her head. “It is not that. To be a shadow dancer, always one is trying to align with balance, and respect, to maintain honor.”
“I know that. I can do that,” he insisted.
“You serve a master now, that will force you to make hard choices. Maintaining the code of a shadow dancer, those ideals guide everything. For you, it would be like trying to serve two masters.”
“I can do it. I know I can.”
“You might,” she agreed. “Until the day when you are forced to choose between honor and service. And that moment of doubt could cost you your life.”
“But I still want to learn. I don’t want you to leave.”
“I will continue to teach you,” she said, sounding almost gentle.
Kirrin sighed, relieved to know he would not be totally on his own. “You really think something is coming, don’t you?”
Ch’hikk just looked at him for a while, then nodded, a slight dip of her chin. “Yes. Something is stirring.”
“What can we do?”
“Be prepared.”
“How do we do that?”
“Train.”
NOTES AND QUESTIONS
When the Red God Rises,
“walking” above the land
the paths of the four- “disrupted”
as cycle “ends-begins”
and the path “corrected”
“mistakes cleansed” from the past.
a returned-one
a life spared, victory in ashes
the four planets (planets are always gods in cosmology) are
Takkara- the warrior
Ashok- the philosopher/wisdom
Hadra- the lover/love/connection
Iyana- fate/fickleness/fortune-luck
Aja-nu- the red god- change(?
ch’hikk sees his work for hak’kar as the potential to restore the order back to a place of prominence and visibility (low key visibility).
doe the shadow dancers use magic, or do they just develop their own senses, are they part of the anti-magic faction…? is one of the temples serve as a front for their organization?
do the shadow dancers hold parts of the prophecy within their masters-ranks?
WHO IS CH’HIKK? p
does ch’hikk teach jedda, later-- becomes one of the missing pieces in his journey toward mastery…? does jedda join the shadow dancers?
SCENES TO ADD
scene with kirrin and his mother, right before the men show up to politely-forcibly pack and move her to the country. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9]
* * *
[1]I'm heading out of country for a week or so. When are you planning on putting this book out there? Most enjoyable read yet! Watching Kirrin develop has been a pleasure. I would have liked some of this insight when reading the first two...oh well.
Wifi will be spotty, let me know if I can help with anything!
- Chuck
[2]hey there!
you are ste
llar! I may have to name a character after you-- maybe a
water-priest-guy... who looks after the shells that control water and
magic...:)
What are any overall after-thoughts? things that might need a bit "more"?
anything you felt deserved more attention, or wasn't wrapped up? What
about the final scene with Aldon-- did you buy that? And with the
ending... is that a solid ending, or do you envision something different/
or more needed?
Also- if you're interested, since you know the books so well: I am going
to be going through Before the Luck Runs Out again..chase down typos etc--
but also, to fill it in a bit more, since so much world-building has
happened, I think it could be a little richer, and tie into the epic cycle
better. thoughts?
Teri
[3]Ha! That would be a perfect role for me - water priest! As I am a missionary and pastor.... :)
I think the final scene with Aldon makes sense. You have done a good job of building Kirrin up to making that kind of choice. Although, make sure he locks the door back up so it really does look like a suicide.... ;)
I do believe Miral needs more fleshing out early on. who is she? Why is she on the estate? What's her parents do? Since she hangs out at the barn, I am guessing her dad perhaps runs the barns and field work...maybe mom is in the indoor kitchen? We only hear dad's voice once, that I recall, but Kirrin should have run into him at least once.