Give Me Something I Can Feel

by B. Love

  “Seasoned wings on the table in the…” I couldn’t even get it out good before she was jumping up and heading to the kitchen. “Kitchen. Eat in here. We need to talk.”

  As I waited for her to return I thought over Charlie’s unexpected call. She had no idea how hearing from her completely lightened my mood. I was pissed as hell when I left Carmen and Harlem’s father’s house, but hearing her voice for whatever reason seemed to have soothed me. We weren’t even on the phone for three minutes and in less than three minutes she’d completely turned my mood around, but when I pulled into my driveway and prepared to talk to Harlem my attitude slowly returned.

  “OK,” Harlem tossed a fry into her mouth as she returned to the living room and sat down. “Let me have it. You haven’t yelled at me yet. Go on and get it over with.”

  “I’m not going to yell at you; I just have some questions I need you to answer,” Harlem put the wings in the middle of us and I grabbed one and ate it before I asked my first question. “Your sperm donor…”

  “Can you not call him that, Knight?”

  “At this point that’s all he is. I haven’t heard you talk to him not once over these past two days. He’s not a father in my eyes. He’s a sperm donor. If he steps up that will change, but as of now… he’s a sperm donor. Who is he, how old is he, and how did you meet him?”

  “His name is Tage…”

  “Tage? The fuck kind of name is Tage?”

  “Knight!”

  “All right, continue.”

  I grabbed a wing and started eating it to avoid interrupting her again.

  “His name is Tage. He’s 17. He’s a junior. We go to school together. I met him last year.”

  “Are you in a relationship with him or were you just having sex with him?”

  There was no doubt about it – this was a very uncomfortable conversation for the both of us, but it was one that we had to have. She sighed and put her half eaten wing back in the foil pan.

  “We are in a relationship. We were in a relationship. When I told him that I was pregnant he fell back. So to answer your future questions no I don’t expect him to be involved. No I don’t expect him to support his child. No I don’t expect him to even tell his parents that he has a baby on the way. He says he’s going to.

  He says he’s going to come with me to the doctor and stuff but… I just don’t believe him. You always say let actions speak and I ain’t hearing nothing from him right now. He has been calling and texting, but that just doesn’t mean anything to me right now.”

  She picked her wing back up and finished it off as I smiled. As messed up as this situation was, I was proud that she wasn’t out here living young and naïve completely. At least she listened to some of the stuff I told her.

  “We’ll see what he does. I’m going to warn you, though, if he’s going to be involved he will have to be all in. I’m not playing that inconsistent half in half out bullshit. Page is…”

  “Tage, Knight. Tage.”

  “He is going to have to tell his parents and step up to the plate if he wants to be in the baby’s life. None of that hiding y’all from his family and coming around when he wants to randomly pop up shit. He’ll have to get a job and help you in some way, Harlem, just on the strength of him getting you pregnant. You won’t need the money, and I’d suggest you put it in a savings account for the baby’s college fund or something, but he needs to invest something besides his seed in you.”

  If there was one thing she’d never have to worry about it was money. My first year of college I was drafted and joined the Memphis Grizzles. I played in the NBA for four years before I retired, and I didn’t touch any of the money I made playing ball until I retired. For those four years I lived solely off advertisement deals.

  I had enough money saved to never have to work again a day in my life. Announcing for the Grizzlies was my way of still being connected to the game in some way. Basketball was my passion and probably would always be, and in the small amount of time that I played professionally, it set me up for life.

  “That’s fair. Knight, I’m sorry. I know you had these big dreams for me…”

  “It doesn’t matter what dreams I had for you. I want you to live for you and your baby. We’re good. Things happen. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t hurt when you told me, but I’m not going to punish you for this, Harlem. I feel like you got enough of that from your father. And that’s going to happen from everybody else in the family. They’re going to give you hell. They will love your child and accept him or her wholeheartedly, but they’re going to give you hell. You don’t need that from me.”

  Harlem smiled as she stood and sat next to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she kissed my cheek.

  “That’s why you’re my fave. I love you, Knight.”

  “I love you too. Now finish feeding my niece.”

  “Nephew.”

  “How you know?”

  “I don’t. I just don’t want a girl.”

  “Why not?”

  “Too high maintenance.”

  “Whatever. When is your next appointment?”

  “Next Friday. We can find out then what I’m having.”

  I nodded and stood to go into the kitchen. The wings were good, but I needed something to wash them down with. After grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator I headed over to the table to get my phone. The blinds on the window were open, and the sight of a yellow beetle pulling into my driveway made me smile. That car fit Charlie perfectly. Fit her smile perfectly.

  I felt like I should’ve turned away, or at least headed to the front door to let her in, but I found myself standing there watching her. Watching her cut her car off. Close her eyes and take a few deep breaths. Lean over and grab her purse and another bag out of the passenger seat. Open the door, lock her car, and make her way to the front door.

  In another one of those button down shirt dresses. This one was red. I loved the way the white complemented her skin, but the red one gave her a sexy edge that wasn’t there the first day I met her.

  Since she was no longer in my sight I was able to snap out of it and walk away. The doorbell rang, and Harlem made no attempt to answer it as she took the pan of wings upstairs with her. I was happy to be seeing her again. Maybe a little too eager to see her. Toning that feeling down, I reminded myself of my fast as I went to the door to let her in. Besides, there was nothing about Charlie that said friend with benefits.

  I opened the door and was met by that beautiful smile.

  “Hi,” she spoke soft yet bubbly.

  She had that happy hippie kind of vibe that made me chuckle.

  “What’s up? Come in.”

  Charlie stepped inside and waited for me to close the door and lead her into the living room.

  “Wow. You have a beautiful home, Knight.”

  “Thanks. Have a seat.”

  I would’ve offered her a tour of the place, but I figured she’d get that if we decided to do business together.

  “Where’s Harlem?”

  “Present,” we both looked at Harlem as she came down the stairs. “Hey, Charlie.”

  “Hey, sweetheart. How you feeling?”

  “Good. A little hungry, but I’ll finish eating after you leave.”

  “That’s not necessary. You can eat now. Feed that baby.”

  Harlem smiled and nodded as she returned to her room to grab the wings. Charlie returned her attention to me.

  “Did you guys have a chance to look at my website?”

  I cleared my throat and readjusted myself in my seat. The day we met, I wasn’t as aware of her scent as I was right now. Maybe it had worn off over the course of the day, but right now… I could smell her, and the combination of a woman that looked good and smelled good had always been my weakness.

  It wasn’t just the fact that she had on a perfume that smelled good or nothing simple like that. It smelled like it was made for her. It mixed with her natural scent perfectly. And even though
I knew she was wearing some type of perfume, it was so natural that it smelled like it could literally come straight from her pores. Intoxicating. Commanding.

  “You smell very good,” I heard myself say, but I was hoping and praying I’d said it under my breath.

  When she blushed and lowered her head I knew I’d said it out loud.

  “Thank you. So do you.”

  Now that pulled a laugh out of me because I knew I smelled straight up like the Mary Jane filled blunt I smoked on my way home. That was my only vice I guess. Maybe not the only one, but the only one that I had absolutely no plans of ever changing.

  “Thank you. I do smoke daily, but not in the house so you don’t have to worry about this being a bad environment for Harlem and the baby.”

  “That thought never crossed my mind.”

  That statement. That statement created a silent thickness between us that wasn’t broken until Harlem came back downstairs. Well, she made it down to the bottom step, looked between us, then started going back up the steps backwards.

  “Sorry,” she mouthed to me with a smile.

  “Girl, get your silly ass over here,” I said with my own smile – thankful for the pull away from Charlie’s web.

  Charlie fluffed her hair and inhaled deeply as Harlem sat next to her. Surprisingly close. Harlem was mean. Period. She had to trust you to be nice to you. I couldn’t decipher if she was being nice to Charlie because she wanted Charlie’s help, or if she sensed that Charlie was good people.

  Charlie’s hand went to Harlem’s thigh in what looked like a natural response to Harlem being so close to her.

  “How far along are you?”

  “I’ll be four months next week.”

  “Will you know what you’re having next week? Or are you going to wait until he or she arrives?”

  “I’m going to find out. I don’t think I’d be able to wait any longer than I absolutely have to. Are you hungry?”

  What? Harlem was offering someone her food? She never did that. The only reason I was able to eat the wings was because we’d had the same fight over the years. Now she didn’t even fight me on it. She just accepted the fact that I was going to take whatever I wanted. From whoever I wanted.

  “I’m good, sweetheart.”

  Charlie crossed her legs and the act pulled her dress up slightly. My eyes lowered and took in those smooth brown thighs. The desire to have them squeezing my neck as I devoured her shot through me so deeply my dick hardened. She sat back in her seat and put her arm behind Harlem. Just getting completely comfortable. And that was the sexiest shit I’d ever seen in my life. She looked like she belonged here. Maybe she did.

  “So tell me what you need from me, Harlem.”

  Harlem smiled as she wiped her mouth and shrugged.

  “I don’t know. I guess I need you to like… help me with everything. My mom passed and my sister lives in another state, so it’s really just me and Knight, and as you saw in the store we don’t always get along.”

  Charlie’s face softened when Harlem mentioned mama being gone, but she smiled when Harlem mentioned the other day. She shot me a quick look before returning her attention to Harlem.

  “I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I can’t imagine how hard that is on you to be so young. You don’t have to worry; I’ll be with you every step of the way. Shopping, decorating, advice, appointments… whatever you need I got you.”

  Harlem nodded and returned to her wings as if that was all she needed to hear to be satisfied.

  “So five thousand?” I asked pulling Charlie’s eyes to mine.

  She looked as if she wanted to say no, but nodded.

  “Is that OK?”

  “Perfectly fine. When can you start?”

  “I usually don’t start until my clients are five months. It gives them time to adjust before I barge in. And it allows them to try and handle everything on their own for a little while before I help. Kind of makes them…”

  “Put some respeck on yo name,” Harlem muttered with a mouth full of food.

  Charlie giggled with a nod.

  “Exactly.”

  “That’s cool. Do you have the contract or…”

  “I’ll work it up when I get home and send it to you. I’ll need your email address. After you sign you’ll be directed to a link to pay at least half of my total as your deposit.”

  I nodded, but planned on paying the whole thing in full.

  “Cool. Now that I have your number I’ll lock it in and text you my email address.”

  “That’ll work. Do you guys have any questions?”

  “Nope. Your website was very well laid out. Anything I had to ask was answered on it.”

  “Good. Well, if you do have any questions feel free to call me. The contract will include the dates I’ll be around to help, my availability, and what’s included in your contract. If you have any questions as you go over it do not hesitate to reach out to me,” Charlie pulled a couple of papers and brochures out of her bag. “These are for you guys to look over between now and when I start.”

  She stood to leave, and I found myself wanting her to stay.

  “I’m gonna get out of you guys’ way. I’m sure you have something planned to do on this beautiful Saturday. Even if it’s just to chill.”

  She squeezed Harlem’s shoulder softly, and Harlem blew her an air kiss.

  “Actually, I planned on going out with my best friend, but I’m sure Knight doesn’t have…”

  “Harlem,” I warned. I didn’t know what the hell had gotten into her. Usually she hated me interacting with a woman around her. She was practically throwing me at Charlie today. “I’ll walk you out, Charlie,” I continued.

  “Cool. See you, Harlem.”

  “Bye!”

  I looked back at Harlem as Charlie and I walked to the front door. She stuck her tongue out at me, then hopped on the other side of the couch when I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her. Charlie was close as I opened the door, and the height difference was apparent. I looked down at her and she looked up at me with a soft smile.

  I’ve never known anyone in my life to smile as much as she does. As crazy as my life has been, it’s honestly refreshing, but I didn’t need refreshing. Not while I was trying to stay committed to my fast. I didn’t need that beautiful, bright smile shining into my soul like a light in darkness.

  “Harlem is special,” she almost whispered. “There’s something within her that’s going to change the world, Knight. I can’t tell you what it is and how I know, but I feel it. Protect her purpose. Don’t let this pregnancy ruin her.”

  Before I could stop myself I took her left hand into mine. She looked down at it intently. Like she was trying to figure something out. Charlie lifted our hands and got a closer look at mine.

  “Your hands…” she shook her head and chewed on the inside of her cheek as her eyebrows wrinkled. “You have the most perfect hands. They’re big like they could protect, but smooth like they could cherish.”

  Her right hand went on top of my hand as she used the left one to keep it secured. As she studied my hand I studied her. Feeling yet another piece of my strength turn flaccid.

  “Is that a beauty mark?” her pointing finger ran across the mole as I called it on my middle finger. She looked up at me and her eyes grew wide as she pulled her hands away and put some space between us. “I’m so sorry. That was extremely weird of me and unprofessional.”

  She opened the door and stepped out.

  “Charlie…”

  “I’ll send you the contract before five this evening. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “Char–”

  Her back turned to me as she damn near flew to her car. I waited until she was inside and backing out of the driveway to close the door.

  Charlie White was good for my weary soul. Charlie White was bad for me.

  Knight: k.carver@gmail.com

  Knight: It wasn’t weird by the way. Maybe a little weird. But cute.

&nb
sp; I’d reread Knight’s text messages so many times since he sent them yesterday it was ridiculous! Even now as I waited for my mom to meet me for lunch on my break I was staring at the texts. She was late, and I was taking full advantage of being alone by rereading Knight’s text messages.

  He was so handsome. So handsome. And sweet. And protective. And caring. But there was something about him that told me to stay away. Something that said he wasn’t as good as he seemed.

  Maybe he was.

  Maybe he was the bad boy that knew how to be a good man to his woman.

  But he just wasn’t the bad boy for me.

  I sent my mom a text asking where she was before sitting my phone down and looking over the menu yet again. This was one of the things I loved about working at Bundled.

  I could take an hour or two for lunch and not have to worry about anyone bothering me about it. I pretty much ran the place. Linda was the general manager, but I was the one that was in control. With me having that position, I never wanted it. I never wanted to be assistant or general manager; it just made sense for me to be promoted because I was doing all the work.

  I refused to do all the work without the pay so I took the management position, but in all honesty… I was so ready to quit. My phone vibrated, but I was surprised to see Knight’s name and a text message.

  Knight: I’m at the gym. Are you ok?

  Confused as to why he was texting me, I scrolled up and almost threw my heart up. I was so wrapped up in reading his texts that I sent the text to him instead of my mom!

  How in the hell was I supposed to explain that without looking crazier than I probably already did?

  Before I could text back, Knight was calling me. I jumped in my seat and threw my phone onto the table softly before declining the call. Why would I decline the call? I’d just freaking texted him! Uh!

  With a deep breath, I picked my phone up and called him back.

  “Charlie?”

  God, his voice. His voice was so smooth and decadent. How could a voice be decadent? I don’t know but his was. His voice was as decadent as a German chocolate cake. Rich. Deep. Dark. Sweet. Heavenly. Just… good.