I know Eva’s my best friend, and don’t get me wrong, she is really pretty, but she has the most ridiculous laugh you can imagine. I think it was her laugh that put boys off, but that wasn’t going to stop Eva trying, and I had this horrible feeling I know who she was after.
I’d been grounded all week and had only been allowed out to go to the library. I definitely wasn’t allowed to see friends, which suited me fine because I much preferred adult company anyway. I was so over being a hysterical teenager and when Bryn dropped me and Liam off at the party, I didn’t want to get out of the car.
‘Call me when you’re ready to come home.’
‘Do we have to come home together?’ I asked. There was no way I was going to waste my breath arguing with my drunken brother about what time to leave.
‘I can walk home,’ Liam said.
‘I have a feeling you won’t be walking in a straight line by midnight,’ Bryn answered. And then to me he said, ‘I’ll pick you up together or separately, whatever you want, Scarlett.’
Seriously, that should have been within five minutes of stepping into the house, which was already full of schoolkids who were pissed before they arrived. I’d been invited for pre-drinks with Linus and a few of the others, but there was no way I’d say yes to him. I wanted Linus to know I wasn’t interested in him, but he didn’t do subtle.
‘Here, you look like you need it,’ he said as he handed me a pint glass full of gin and lemonade.
I must have downed it in a couple of minutes and I did start to relax after that, a bit too much, if I’m honest. A couple of hours later I ended up sitting on Linus’s knee while a group of us talked about life-and-death decisions, like what was better, Burger King or McDonald’s. Linus hadn’t started trying to grope me yet, but it was like only a matter of time.
Anyway, I was messing about on my phone, which was much better than watching Eva and Liam sucking the faces off each other. I wrote out a message and dared myself to send it.
What are you doing?
The reply came maybe ten seconds later.
What are YOU doing?
I told you I’d hate this party and I do
Want to talk about it?
Yes
Want to meet?
Linus was stroking my leg and he kept slipping his hand under my pirate’s jacket. I took one look around the room and asked myself what the hell I was waiting for, but I did hesitate, I swear. I didn’t want to let Mum down, she trusted me. But then I reminded myself how she hadn’t thought about me when she decided to bring Bryn into our lives. Maybe that didn’t justify what I did, but I couldn’t help myself. I sent the reply before I could change my mind.
Yes
Now?
Yes! Yes! Yes!!
Slipping out of the party was easy enough, I just said I was going to the loo and never went back. He was waiting at the top of the road where no one would see me getting into his car. We didn’t really speak until he’d parked up on some quiet country lane that was miles away from anywhere. All I could hear was my heart thudding.
‘I was waiting for your message. I knew you’d want to escape.’
‘I suppose you think you know me so well now.’
He unbuckled his seat belt and turned towards me. ‘I don’t know. Do I?’
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t daft. I knew what might be about to happen and part of me wanted him to take control and tell me what to do, but he’s not like that.
‘What would you like to talk about, Scarlett?’
I told myself to stop panicking and use my superpowers. ‘Tell me about you,’ I said.
‘What you see is what you get.’
I can’t believe I had the nerve to say what I said next and it was a good job it was dark because I was blushing so much. ‘Really?’ I said. ‘So what am I getting?’
He took hold of my hand and kissed it. I could feel the tip of his tongue licking my skin and you have no idea what it did to me.
‘So what now?’ I asked. I was desperate for the teasing to stop and to just get on and do it.
‘I think you know.’
‘Then say it. Are you too scared?’
‘Are you?’ he asked.
‘I’m on the pill.’
He stretched his spine and groaned. He didn’t look nervous one bit, while I was starting to shake like an idiot.
‘Why don’t we move to the back seat?’ he said. ‘There’s more room there.’
When I got out of the car, I stumbled. It was the fresh air making my head spin, but no way was I going to back out and make an idiot of myself again. We got into the back and sat next to each other like two strangers sitting on a bus. It was just too funny and I had to stop myself from giggling.
‘You’re a beautiful woman, Scarlett,’ he said. ‘Any man would be lucky to be in my position, but I need you to think very carefully about what might be about to happen. This is serious stuff and I’m trusting you. No one can know about this. You do realize how many lives we could destroy, and all because …’
‘Because what?’
‘Because it’s Halloween and you’ve put me under your spell.’ It was such a corny line that I really was about to laugh this time, but what he said next sobered me up straight away. ‘I want you so badly, Scarlett. Do you want me?’
‘Yes,’ I said, and it was so weird because I suddenly wanted to cry. I don’t know why. I wasn’t frightened. I think I was just shocked that someone could want me so much that they would like, put their life in danger for me.
‘I’m a virgin,’ I blurted out.
He smiled. ‘I know, and I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to. You’re the one in control, Scarlett.’
‘But I don’t know what to do.’
‘Why don’t you start by taking those off,’ he said, patting my leg.
I took off my leggings.
‘And your knickers.’
9
The Accusations
Nina loved her husband and that love ought to be absolute, with no doubts and no uncertainties. It didn’t make sense that her skin should crawl as she looked at the man standing in the kitchen doorway. She had felt a similar sensation the day before when Bryn had tried to comfort her, reacting as if he were a stranger or, worse still, a threat. Her ears had strained each time he had gone upstairs. At one point she had thought she heard him go into Scarlett’s room and she had crept to the bottom of the stairs to listen. When Bryn had come out of the bathroom and caught her, she had given him a spurious excuse about trying to work out if Liam had got up, but she wasn’t sure he had believed her.
How had she failed as a parent so badly? She had assumed that, by giving her children more freedom, they could establish their independence, and if they made mistakes, they would learn from them. Now it would seem that the mistakes that had been made weren’t all of her children’s making, and there were some harsh lessons ahead for all of them.
Bryn was watching her intently as if he could read the thoughts turning in her mind on an endless reel of regret and recrimination.
‘Are you going to keep Scarlett off school too?’
Nina reached out for her cup of coffee in search of comfort, but it was stone cold. ‘No, definitely not. I have a feeling she’s going to miss enough school as it is.’
Bryn was about to ask a follow-up question, but decided against it. He picked up her mug. ‘Do you want a fresh one?’
‘You can go back to bed if you want, I’ll see to the kids this morning.’
Her husband scratched his head and ruffled his hair. Even half-asleep in nothing but a crumpled T-shirt and boxer shorts, Bryn was an attractive man. ‘I’m up now,’ he said, ‘and I don’t think I could sleep if I tried.’
‘I don’t know how long I can go on without answers,’ she said as he turned away to fill the kettle. ‘It’s eating me up inside, Bryn. You would tell me if you knew something, wouldn’t you? You and Scarlett talk.’
Bryn stopped what he w
as doing and, for a second, he didn’t move or say anything. His movements were precise as he placed the kettle down on the countertop without switching it on. His mouth was open as he turned towards her, but he was struggling to find the words. He knew. He knew what she was suggesting. She could see his chest rising and falling as his breathing became more rapid. ‘Yes, we get on well,’ he said.
Nina wished he hadn’t taken away her coffee cup; her mouth was dry and her lips stuck to her teeth when she said, ‘I’m struggling to understand how this happened.’
Bryn nodded. ‘Me too.’
When Liam sailed into the kitchen, he didn’t at first pick up on the atmosphere. He dumped his backpack on the floor before heading to the fridge where he swigged orange juice straight from the carton. Wiping his mouth, he turned and that was when he noticed his mum sitting at the breakfast bar.
‘What are you still doing here?’
‘I’m not going into work today.’
‘Oh, right,’ he said.
Liam had so far remained on the outer edges of the family skirmish. He had looked genuinely shocked the day before when he had risen from his pit nursing a hangover and Nina had told him that his sister was pregnant. She had known before she questioned him that he could offer no further insight into Scarlett’s secret life. They were hard pressed to share a bathroom, they would hardly share secrets. But Liam knew someone who would.
‘Will you speak to Eva for me?’ she asked.
Nina watched her son squirm. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. ‘Mum, I already have. Sorry.’
‘And you’re sure you can’t think of anything – anything that might hint at who Scarlett’s been involved with?’
She had heard a muffled argument between Liam and Scarlett the night before. He had gone into her room and whatever passed between them was over in a matter of minutes, concluded by the slamming of bedroom doors.
‘I’m meeting Eva before school. I’ll try again,’ he said.
‘And Linus. She says it’s not him, but it’s possible that she’s made up this story about a married man to protect him.’
‘Whatever she’s up to,’ Liam said, ‘I’m pretty sure it’s not with Linus.’
‘I’m not afraid to hear the truth, Liam. Do you understand?’
Liam gave a shrug as he grabbed a handful of biscuits and left the house. He hadn’t understood what she was getting at and maybe that was a good thing. Bryn, however, knew exactly what she had been implying.
‘Why haven’t you gone to work, Nina?’ he asked after they heard Liam closing the front door.
‘Why do you think? I’m hardly going to be able to concentrate on anything else.’
‘Is that all?’ When Nina didn’t answer, he reached the conclusion that Nina was loath to admit. ‘You don’t trust me to be at home alone with her, do you?’
Rather than look at Bryn, Nina stared at her hands, which were clasped in her lap. Each teardrop that fell on to the back of her hand felt like a miniature explosion ripping her life apart.
‘You think it’s me?’ he asked in utter incredulity.
She wiped her eyes but still couldn’t meet his gaze. ‘I don’t want to be one of those mothers who would rather stick their heads in the sand than see what’s right in front of them. I would lay down my life for my children.’
‘You think it’s me,’ Bryn said, no longer a question.
‘No, Bryn, I don’t!’ she cried. ‘In my heart, I don’t think you’re anything but the loving man I fell in love with. But the way she looks at you sometimes, it’s like there’s a secret between you. It’s like you know her better than I do.’
10
Before
Wednesday, 11 November 2015
It was a cold November evening and Bryn was out working, which meant he wasn’t responsible for the pungent smell of aftershave that assaulted Nina’s senses. She had been in the dining room catching up on some paperwork, and if the smell alone hadn’t been enough to give away her son’s location, the whispered conversation coming from the kitchen did.
‘But why not? You let Eva have it.’
‘Yeah, and there’s a good reason for that.’
‘I doubt it. What’s so interesting that you two would need it?’
‘And what’s so interesting about your boring life?’
‘Please, Liam, don’t be mean. If you let me have it then I promise to take down the baby pictures I’ve posted of you on Instagram, the naked ones.’
‘You haven’t!’ hissed Liam.
‘Not yet, but …’
‘Seriously, Scarlett, don’t think I couldn’t hack into your account in two minutes and cause far more damage to you. Permanent damage.’
‘Please,’ Scarlett whined. ‘I’ll love you for ever.’
‘Get off me, you freak,’ he cried, presumably as Scarlett went in for a killer hug.
‘Pleeeease, Liam.’
Her son released a long line of expletives before giving in. ‘Give me your bloody phone before I change my mind.’
‘And what exactly are you two up to?’ Nina asked loud enough to make them both jump.
‘Nothing,’ one or both of them said.
‘Can I see?’ Nina asked, extending her hand towards Liam.
Using his height as an advantage, her son raised up Scarlett’s phone so she couldn’t see the screen and expertly finished whatever he was doing before handing it back to his sister.
‘What is it you’re sharing anyway?’
Liam was on the move, zipping up his jacket and pulling on a beanie hat. ‘It’s an app I’ve been working on.’
‘What kind of app?’
‘It collects all your metadata and feeds it into your chosen social media platform so you can make multiple status updates.’
Nina didn’t have a clue what he was talking about and suspected she would be no further enlightened if she asked him to explain. ‘I suppose I’ll have to take your word for that,’ she said.
Slipping past her, Liam ruffled his mum’s hair. ‘Don’t you worry your little brain about it, Mum.’
She hit him. ‘And where do you think you’re going?’
‘Out.’
‘It’s Wednesday.’
Liam opened his mouth but thought better of making another smart remark. ‘I’ll be back by midnight.’
‘Eleven.’
Her son muttered something which she took as his agreement. Nina waited until he was at the front door before calling out, ‘Give Eva my love.’
When they heard the front door close, Scarlett took it as a sign to make her move.
‘Where are you going?’
‘Upstairs.’
‘Oh.’
The sound of disappointment in Nina’s voice made Scarlett hesitate. ‘Why?’ she asked.
‘I thought we might treat ourselves to a movie and a bowl of popcorn. We don’t spend enough time together like we used to.’
‘That’s hardly my fault,’ Scarlett said, and then her eyes lit up. ‘Can we open a bottle of wine?’
Nina laughed. ‘No, and not only because it’s a school night.’
‘I’ve got homework to do.’
‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re spending way too much time locked away in your room lately. I swear the body snatchers have mixed up you and Liam,’ she said.
‘Yeah, well, you should be careful what you wish for.’
‘Please, Scarlett, it’ll be like old times,’ Nina persisted. Unwilling to take no for an answer, she opened a cupboard and pulled out two large bags of popcorn. ‘Sweet or salty?’
‘You can choose the popcorn if I can choose the film,’ Scarlett said, but before Nina could savour the victory, her daughter added, ‘I just need to check my messages. I won’t be long.’
Why Scarlett should feel the need to retreat to her room to message her friends, Nina could only imagine, but that was exactly what she had been doing ever since Halloween. If Nina didn’t know better, she’d
have said Scarlett was being furtive.
‘Have you got much homework?’ Nina asked when Scarlett joined her in the living room.
‘Only a maths paper. Part of my revision schedule.’
Scarlett picked up the remote control and began browsing films. Nina was expecting her to pick some dystopian movie, but her daughter surprised her by suggesting Of Mice and Men.
‘It’s one of my set texts. I didn’t want to watch it until I’d read the book and written up my notes, but I’m almost finished anyway.’
‘Does this mean you’re back to where you should be with schoolwork?’
‘I think so.’
‘Does Mr Swift think so?’
Scarlett scooped up a handful of popcorn and played with it as she considered her answer. ‘I think it’s going to take a bit longer before he’s pleased. You know what teachers are like. He’s said he wants nothing less than A-star grades in every subject.’
‘And is that doable?’
‘Hopefully. I don’t want to let him down. I don’t want to let you down either, any more than I already have,’ she added quietly.
‘You haven’t let me down, Scarlett, and I’m not looking for perfection. All I ask is that you try your best. I’m so proud of you, I’ve never seen you work so hard.’ She bit her lip as she wondered if she should try to get Scarlett to open up. ‘But at the same time, I’m worried.’
‘About?’
Nina hesitated. ‘You don’t seem your usual self. You’ve changed.’
‘Have I? How?’
Unsure how to explain something that was no more than a feeling in her gut, Nina said, ‘You’ve been quiet lately and I know it’s partly down to me that you’re not going out as much but, even so, while you are here I feel like you’ve disconnected from everyone somehow.’
‘I got told off for not studying hard enough, so that’s what I’ve been doing,’ Scarlett said.
Nina wasn’t convinced. She had caught a look on Scarlett’s face once or twice where she seemed to be wrestling with her thoughts, and it most certainly wasn’t quadratic equations. ‘I know you are – and I’m not complaining, believe me – but I’m worried there might be something else bothering you. Did something happen at Eva’s party?’
The Affair Page 8