What Doesn't Kill You

by Aimee Hix

  Susan nodded, her eyes swollen, unshed tears shining. “We did … and … we just couldn’t stand out there and watch anymore.”

  Ben pulled me aside. “The EMTs gave them the choice of hospital or our house. The cold and, you know, emotional stress.”

  I turned and gave him a look that said thanks and get lost at the same time. He knew me well enough to not be offended.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz. Detective Boyd. All this excitement has worn me out so I think I’m going to go to bed now. I have school early in the morning,” he said then disappeared into the back of the house.

  “Wow. That is some kid,” Boyd said.

  “We think he was switched at birth with some government experiment to create the perfect forty-year-old infant,” I said.

  That got a genuine smile from both David and Boyd. She quickly sobered. “The arson inspector will make an official ruling, but we’re fairly convinced this was arson.”

  I pulled out the head chair and sat. A position of power couldn’t hurt. I was unsure how a chair with arms made me more powerful than someone sitting in a chair without arms, but whatever.

  “And you think it’s connected to the murder too, I assume.”

  “Considering the timing, I can’t help but think that.”

  “Detective Boyd, do you have a full statement from the Horowitzes at this point? They should probably get some rest too.”

  The look she gave me told me she was clued in to my desire to have them out of the discussion and that she agreed. “Absolutely, and if we have any more questions, we can contact you later. I’m sorry for everything that has happened to you, Mr. and Mrs. Horowitz.”

  They looked lost. I couldn’t imagine how they felt. It was all so overwhelming, all the events of the last week coming one right after another.

  “We don’t have anywhere to go. I suppose we could call a taxi and head to a hotel out by the mall.”

  I frowned. I hoped I hadn’t given them the impression that I was kicking them out. “David, of course you’ll stay here tonight.”

  I led them down the hall and got them some basic overnight supplies. I should have been nervous leaving Boyd alone in the house. Once invited in, anything in plain sight was fair game, but I had nothing to hide and I had fairly well ruled out the idea that she had her sights set on me or any of the Horowitzes for the murder of Joe Reagan. No matter how many years she’d been on the job, I couldn’t see her being so cynical as to think a young woman would burn down her own grandparents’ house to set up a fake suspect.

  And I had a surprise guest I needed to invite in from the cold. Literally. Despite the fire the temperature outside was dropping rapidly and Seth was already annoyed.

  Seth sat down across from Detective Boyd, his lips pressed together. Clearly, he’d kept warm by using his annoyance at me as fuel. The man at the table was somewhere between Undercover Seth and Agent Seth. He’d need to dial that down several notches to make any headway with Boyd. Unless he was taking over the murder case from the police, he needed her. And even if he decided to take the case over, she’d demand to stay on so he was stuck with her either way.

  I poked him in the arm. Hard. He turned his annoyed expression on me, the real culprit, and just stared for a minute then softened a bit and nodded.

  “The three of us have a great deal to talk about but first, I think under the circumstances, the Horowitzes need to get out of town for a few days,” I said to Boyd.

  She nodded. She was curious about Seth but I didn’t bother looking at him. If he thought they had any information about his case, he’d have talked to them already anyway. And he wouldn’t have asked for my input.

  “Okay, now that we’re all in agreement, I think introductions are in order. Detective Boyd, this is Agent Seth Anderson of the ATF.”

  Chapter

  17

  The news went over like a clichéd lead balloon. She couldn’t possibly know the circumstances that had brought Seth here, but it was obvious that she felt I’d been keeping information from her. Which was valid.

  “Okay, both of you need to remember that I am the person between the rock and the hard place here,” I said, pointing at each of them in turn. “You have jobs to do that require certain confidences to be kept and I have tried to honor that. Detective Boyd, I haven’t revealed any information about your murder case except things that I have been personally involved in. Not even the walk-through of the crime scene—”

  “What walk-through?” Seth asked.

  I looked at him. “The walk-through I didn’t tell you about, Agent.”

  Boyd smiled. She was not pleased about the ATF butting into her case.

  “Agent Anderson came to me when your murder case crossed into a case he’s working. He was concerned because of a personal relationship we have.”

  That was certainly a soft-peddle of the facts. I didn’t want to elaborate or give her the chance to use her imagination. Based on her impressive eyebrow cock, she’d already started.

  “Our families have been friends for years. In fact, our fathers served together in the Army.”

  She nodded with a look on her face that I could only describe as bemused—a word I hadn’t fully understood until I saw her make that face. I wondered if I had been deluding myself into believing that I was good at hiding my feelings. And then I caught her line of sight to Seth. He looked like he’d been boiled. His face was flushed all the way up from under the collar of his motorcycle jacket. It wasn’t anger I saw, it was embarrassment. Maybe it wasn’t me who had to worry about masking emotion.

  “When Joe Reagan’s name popped in the system, Seth saw the alert and my name as the sole witness on scene. He came to ascertain how much I knew about his case, if anything.”

  Ascertain? I had fallen easily into the overly formal cop-speak. I sounded like I had been caught at a scene and forced on camera. I guess I should have been grateful I hadn’t used the word allegedly. And she wasn’t buying it even a little bit. If Boyd left her eyebrow like that it was going to get stuck.

  “As I said, we’ve been friends since childhood and he was worried about me.”

  “I can see how worried he is about you,” she said.

  Okay, so we weren’t going to play nice. “Fine, we can do it this way too. Anything outside of the case that has happened between me and Agent Anderson is, frankly none of your business. I have asked him repeatedly to loop you in so you’d see how Joe Reagan’s murder was tied in with his case. And, yes, my loyalty to Seth is personal but I have tried to be honorable with little to no leeway. You want to be pissed, be pissed. But here’s the thing, he takes over the murder and you lose the collar. If we work the cases together, you both come out winners.”

  I looked back and forth between them. Both wore stubborn expressions. “Or turn it into a pissing match for all I care. My real concern is Violet, and she’s off the hook either way. And I’d prefer to not have someone trying to murder me.”

  “What?”

  Boyd had lost her mulish look. I shot a glance at Seth out of the corner of my eye. His ire had risen again. Nothing like giving people a common enemy to make them forget their own grievances.

  “This evening I was approached on the side of the road after my car broke down.”

  “Sabotage?” asked Boyd.

  “I suspect so,” Seth said.

  Now he suspected sabotage. He must have felt guilty or my body language betrayed me because he wrapped his hand around mine, heedless of Boyd’s presence.

  “You said he tried to murder you. You’re okay?” Boyd asked.

  Seth’s hand tightened on mine. If he kept doing that I’d be unable to move it after a few more sentences. “Well, my sangfroid is a bit bent. Just a little anyway.”

  She gaped at me. I wasn’t about to confess to her that I had a serious case of the nervous nellies. I hadn’
t even delved too deep into that territory with Seth and I’d had his tongue in my mouth a few hours ago.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Not a scratch. It was not an enjoyable experience, but I can’t really dwell on it right now. I didn’t get a decent look at the guy but I’ve got this feeling I know something about him or he reminds me of someone. I can’t get my brain to focus on it.”

  “I have to assume that this guy is aware of the connection between you and the Horowitzes, Willa,” Seth said. “That means this isn’t a safe place for you to stay. Or Ben. I know you’ll fight me on this but if you recognize that Ben has to be protected then you have to admit you aren’t safe, either.”

  A jab-cross-uppercut combo slammed into the pathetic argument I had been about to make. Seth knew I’d never compromise Ben’s safety. And if I sent Ben away, I’d never be able to argue that I could stay.

  “I think you should pack a bag and I’ll take you both over to bunk with the Colonel and Barbara.”

  My jaw dropped. He wanted me to have a sleepover with his parents. Was he out of his mind? I would have rather made my parents come home before I stayed at that house. And why was he suddenly calling his mom by her first name?

  “No way in hell. Ben can go to John’s house and I’ll stay at your apartment.”

  The second the words were out of my mouth I realized how badly I’d been suckered. Boyd actually snickered. Had I been on the top of my game he never would have been able to get that little trick past me. Almost getting killed had taken a toll on the waning mental skills I possessed lately.

  I glared at him. “You tricked me.”

  He shrugged without a trace of remorse. “Either way I win because you’re protected. This way I’ll be able to keep an eye on you myself.”

  I pushed back my chair, scraping the floor loudly. “You two compare notes. I have a bag to pack.”

  While I stomped down the stairs I kicked myself for walking into Seth’s trap. I should have expected it. He’d warned me that he was the boss and this fit right in with controlling my every move. I resisted the urge to just throw whatever I found into a bag and reviewed my clothes, trying to figure out what I’d need. I didn’t have that many options. When your work clothes are a uniform, you tend to have super casual and super dressy with nothing in between. Super dressy was exactly one item—the black dress for the memorial service. It was still balled up in the corner of my closet where it had been since I’d stripped it off in the weak light the morning after. I’d been on a plane to Santa Fe before noon.

  I reached up into my stash of junk food to find it empty. I was embarrassed to find that was the final blow. My chest felt like a weight had settled on it. I threw the box across the room and sucked in air, hard. I wasn’t crying. I was not going to cry with Boyd and Seth sitting upstairs reviewing the case. I was a grownup and I could handle this. My dead best friend, having to stay with Seth, my former colleague looking at me with knowing eyes, my neighbors and their fluffy granddaughter, finding a dead body, the guy with the knife, suburban gun runners. I could take it all. I just needed a damn candy bar to do it. Was that too much to ask?

  I would even have been willing to take a poke or two from Captain Average’s knife in exchange for some potato chips. Or a cupcake. Wait, there had been cookies upstairs. Where Boyd and Seth were talking. Crud. I trudged back up the stairs, duffle slung over my shoulder. Back in the kitchen, my two new partners were chatting amiably. I wasn’t sure which one I hated more at that moment. I considered. Seth won. I hated him most because he’d tricked me.

  “Are there any of those cookies left?” I scanned the counter but didn’t see any. The cabinets were likewise empty. I turned and narrowed my eyes at the duo. Boyd looked guilty but Seth leaned back in his chair.

  “Ben came back out and took the last two,” he said.

  Cool as a cucumber the man lied to my face. And threw my baby brother under the bus in the process. He’d tricked me earlier but this one wasn’t even a good attempt.

  “Ben? Ben ate the rest of the cookies? Health nut Ben?”

  Seth nodded. He didn’t even blink. No fidgeting. I was looking this time. Studying him for any signs of lying. Not a flinch. He’d have to have been pretty well trained by the ATF for this case. He could display all the signs of honesty but his chosen lie still wasn’t believable because Ben just did not eat sweets.

  “Hey, Will. Did you try the cookies? They were pretty good. Coconut,” Ben said, walking back into the room.

  Seth had the decency to look away. Or the good sense. He knew I wasn’t about to go off on Ben but there was a line of fire and he was most certainly in it. And now I had to tell Ben he needed to go stay with John until this whole mess was resolved. I knew it wouldn’t be a problem with John’s mom. She adored Ben. He and John had been best friends since kindergarten. She’d be more than happy to take him for as long as I needed.

  “Um, no, Benjy. Listen. With all the stuff that’s come up, we think it’s better if you’re out of the house.”

  When I saw he was starting to protest, I cut him off. “Me too. I’m going over to Seth’s for a bit. Just as a precaution. We don’t know who did this to the Horowitzes, so better safe than sorry, right?”

  He looked over at Seth for confirmation. Did my brother just check out my story?

  “It’s true. I tricked her into it.”

  They fist bumped. I wanted to hit something too, but it wasn’t someone’s fist. They both ignored my glare. Once upon a time, my glare could cause Ben deep fear. Now he was bigger than me. That truly sucked.

  “Yeah, you’re both hilarious. It was actually my concern for you that allowed me to be tricked, Benjamin. His first idea was staying with his parents.”

  My smug pronouncement was met with a big smile.

  “That would have been cool too. Me and the Colonel could play Hearts of Iron more often.”

  Right, I forgot. Ben ate cookies, the Colonel played something called Hearts of Iron. I looked over at Seth and he shrugged.

  “Fine, great, everyone is growing as people and trying new things. Fantastic. Please go pack to spend a few nights at John’s house. I’ll call his mom tomorrow. It’s too late to decamp tonight. Plus we’ve got the Horowitzes in the spare room.”

  As one they all turned and looked in the direction of the back of the house. Ha! I was the only one who hadn’t forgotten the house­guests.

  After a little more back and forth with Boyd culminating in all parties deciding to start again in the morning, Seth insisted on staying. He wasn’t about to leave a house full of people with an arsonist on the loose. With the spare room occupied by the Horowitzes and Ben’s room full of Ben and his servers, the only options for Seth were my parents’ room or one of the couches.

  Seth chose the couch in the basement. His argument that David or Susan might feel uncomfortable if they came out to find a strange man clad only in his boxers on the couch was valid. I agreed in principle, but in practice I was uncomfortable coming out to find him in his boxers on the couch. But I had already seen him naked. Which I was loathe to remind myself of when I found a need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. On the other side of the basement. Past where Seth lay in his boxers on the couch. He’d turned on the gas fireplace and to say there was a distinctly romantic movie scene ambience choking the air would have been an understatement.

  “Are you all right with just that blanket?” I whispered to break the silence as I crept by. Super casual, not edgy at all. “It’s kind of cold down here.”

  He sat up and the firelight flickered on his face and chest. The planes of his face glowed. Seth wasn’t just good-looking. He was pretty in a strong way. Unfairly so. And the kiss from earlier. He’d done it for his cover, but he’d wanted to kiss me. And I hadn’t minded. Not even a little, despite my protest later. He wanted me and I wanted him. Even if my brain told me it was a bad, terrible, ho
rrible, no good idea, my body wanted me to fire up the engines, kick the tires, and get that sucker launched. Seth was that person for me. That perfect, so-wrong-it’s-right person. And my heart didn’t know whether to listen to my brain or my libido. Because all I saw was disaster ahead. Titanic, Hindenburg, fire at the Cocoanut Grove disaster.

  “I’m fine. Are you okay?”

  I nodded. Not okay. So not okay. I was really tired of pretending to be okay. But I kept nodding like an idiot. “I just needed to go to the bathroom. Can I get you anything?”

  “From the bathroom?” He laughed. I was glad it was dark where I was standing and he couldn’t see me blush.

  “No, I just meant in general. While I was up. I could go to the kitchen to get you some water or something. So you don’t have to wander around in your boxers.”

  Shut up, Willa. Shut your stupid mouth right now before you say something so ridiculous you will have to step in front of a trash truck to end the humiliation.

  “You could sleep with me tonight,” I offered, then bolted.

  I scurried off to the bathroom and avoided looking at myself in the mirror and then at the couch on the way back to my room. My room was dark compared to the harsh florescent light in the bathroom and the gentle burn of the gas fireplace. So dark I didn’t see Seth. I slid into the bed to find his warm body in my spot.

  Seth scooted over toward the wall but the space he’d vacated was warm from his body heat. I laid on my back with my arms tight against my sides. He’d said he wanted to settle what was happening with us. He probably assumed that was my intent in inviting him into my bed. Had I actually thought before I spoke I would have known that.

  “Thanks for sharing. It is warmer in here. The fire can’t compete with the cold flooding in through that sliding door.”

  “Dad keeps meaning to fix it but he’s not that good with home repair stuff.”