This Very Moment

by Rachel Ann Nunes

  She went to work on the other boxes, and in short order her small apartment was glistening with tinsel, bells, angels, and more. She lined the mantle, the back of the sofa, the coffee table, the top of the kitchen cupboards, the windows, and the door with colored lights. Over the years she had collected far too many decorations for the small apartment, but she put them all out anyway. Finished, she stood back to admire her handiwork and had to admit that the effect was rather garish. Yet the whole scene raised her spirits further.

  Now what she needed was a candle or incense to make the room smell like the tree was real. Even she could afford that. She swept up her purse, but as she opened her apartment door she found Bill standing outside, his hand raised to ring the bell.

  “Yie!” Kylee gasped. “You scared me!”

  “Are you just leaving? I was beginning to think you were psychic. May I come in?”

  Kylee hesitated. “I’m not sure you’re ready for this.”

  “Ready for what?” He pushed his way inside and gave a long, low whistle. “What happened here? Did a Christmas bomb go off?” From the end table he picked up a candle in the shape of a fat snowman and tossed it from one hand to the other.

  “No. And be careful with that.” Rescuing the snowman, she set it carefully on a pile of cotton next to a matching Santa. “But wait, you haven’t seen the full effect.” She turned on the lights.

  Bill whistled again. “You never told me you were decoratively handicapped.”

  “I prefer to think of it as differently decorative.” She sniffed, before winking and giving him a wry smile. “I know it’s a lot all at once, but I love my decorations and I love Christmas. This place is just a little small.”

  “Hmmm,” he said, obviously succumbing to tact.

  “Why are you here anyway? You were going to work.”

  “I did. My substitute had it covered, and I missed you so I left again.”

  Kylee could see he was telling the truth and felt suddenly shy. “Well, you should have come earlier and you could have helped me with the tree.”

  “It does look a bit lopsided.”

  “I like it that way.”

  He peered closer. “I never knew trees were made of masking tape. It must be a new brand.”

  Kylee’s laughter bubbled up and over. “Shut up, will you? I’d like to see your decorations.”

  “I don’t have any.”

  She blinked. “You don’t?”

  “No, nothing.”

  A sad tenderness filled Kylee’s heart. She couldn’t imagine not having any Christmas decorations. Even someone who claimed not to believe in God could have lights and a Santa. “Well, we can solve that.” She began putting some of her things back into one of the discarded boxes. “You can afford lights, can’t you?”

  “Wait, wait, wait! I don’t know if I could live like this till January.”

  “Trust me,” she said.

  He looked at her oddly. “I do.”

  “Then come on.”

  They went first to the store to buy more strings of colored lights, as well as a few green garlands with white lights woven along the lengths. Then Kylee insisted he buy a real tree. “What do I need a tree for?” he asked.

  “For my ornaments, of course.”

  Bill raised his hands in defeat. “All right. Whatever your heart desires.”

  “Whatever?” Kylee’s heart thumped strangely. “You’d better be careful what you say. I might believe you.” She purposely made the words light but meant them all the same. He had said he loved her, and while she knew that was a tremendous step for him, she craved more. Marriage, another child, even the white picket fence—or something similar. But there was still much left unsaid, feelings he hadn’t shared. No matter what, she wouldn’t settle for a relationship that didn’t include marriage. That made it too easy to walk away.

  Of course, marriage hadn’t prevented Raymond from leaving her.

  Bill isn’t Raymond. Bill had left her once when she’d needed him, but he’d come back. A sobering thought followed: Is he back forever? How can it be forever if he doesn’t even believe in God?

  Could Bill change, or was she fooling herself? Was she so tired of being alone that she couldn’t put the Lord first anymore? Kylee sighed, not wanting to know the answer.

  Bill broke into her thoughts. “Is something wrong? You suddenly went quiet.”

  “Nothing’s wrong. I think I’m a little tired. It’s been a long day.”

  “Well, why don’t you come back to my place, and I’ll fix you a nice dinner? I can cook a thing or two.”

  “Good idea. That way I can decorate.”

  He groaned but there was a twinkle in his dark eyes. “I guess. If you must.” He made a last check of the tree, assuring himself that it was securely tied to the roof of the Blazer. “It’s a good thing I didn’t drive the BMW today.”

  Kylee laughed. “I’ll say. We might have scratched the paint.”

  “Can’t have that.” He started the engine and eased the Blazer onto the road. “Although, I may have to sell the BMW if you keep coming up with children to help.”

  “You can share my Camry,” she offered.

  “That old thing?”

  “It gets me where I want to go.”

  “So far.”

  Kylee grinned. “Isn’t that what counts?”

  “You win. So what do you want me to make for dinner?”

  “More s’mores?”

  He snorted. “No, and stop sounding so hopeful.”

  “Dang. Well, maybe for dessert.” They drove in silence for a while, and then Bill reached over for her hand, holding it tightly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  She smiled. “So am I.”

  They spent a wonderful evening cooking dinner together, eating s’mores, and decorating the house. Though she craved to discover his innermost thoughts, Kylee tried to make their first evening in love fun instead of overly serious. Bill seemed to relax, and to her surprise began to talk about his childhood.

  “You and your brother were really close, weren’t you?” she asked.

  “Yes. But he’s got a family now.” His winked at her. “And I have you.”

  Warmth filled Kylee’s entire being. Everything was almost perfect. “How did your parents celebrate Christmas?”

  “Oh, the usual. Trees, candy, the whole bit. But Christmas then wasn’t anywhere near as commercialized as it is today.”

  She couldn’t help probing. “What about church?”

  “We went to Mass.” That was all he volunteered, and Kylee hesitated to push further.

  She didn’t let Bill kiss her again until he took her back to her apartment. She knew he had wanted to, but she kept avoiding him, afraid of the intensity of her own emotions. There would be plenty of time to talk about the physical part of their relationship in the future. For now, she wanted to take everything slowly, to savor each moment of their newfound love.

  * * * * *

  Bill woke up early Thursday morning, despite his late night with Kylee. He stretched in his bed. Bed? It must have been only the second or third night he had slept in his bed since he had met Kylee. No more traumatic nights sleeping on the couch and watching TV until his brain froze. He wished Kylee could be lying next to him, but he knew her well enough to know that meant further commitment. Today the idea didn’t send him into fits of guilt as it had before.

  How odd. When Kylee had insisted that Nicole still lived on in heaven, he worried it might make his guilt intensify. Yet it hadn’t. “You would understand, wouldn’t you, Nicole?” he said aloud, and felt the strange emotion of the day before fill his heart, chest, and then his entire body with warmth.

  Whistling, he pulled himself from bed and went down the stairs, which now had green garlands and white lights circling the handrails. Kylee had wired huge gold bows to the garlands at regular intervals, and the effect was elegant—far different from the mishmash of her apartment. Despite himself, Bill stopped and plugged in the l
ights. It looked good. Maybe he would buy even more decorations.

  In the kitchen, he began unloading the dishwasher as he always did every other morning. This time it was full of the dishes he and Kylee had used, instead of the fewer items it normally contained. He would have to call her as soon as he had a chance.

  * * * * *

  Kylee awoke for the first time in a long time with nothing to do. Oh, there was the ever-constant paperwork for Children’s Hope, but nothing urgent enough to force her from bed. She dozed instead, thinking dreamily of Bill. I love him. I really do.

  Have I ever been so happy?

  Yes, when she had given birth to Emily. Then her angel had died, and Kylee had never dared imagine a day when she would feel as happy as she did today.

  The phone rang, and hoping it was Bill, she rolled across the bed and picked it up. “Hello, Bill?”

  “No, it’s Suzy. I take it that means Bill and you are still seeing each other?”

  “We are.” Kylee settled onto her pillows. “He’s agreed to help the children and everything.”

  “That’s what I’m calling about. I realize it happened a while ago, but I only heard last night about what happened. Becky told me. I’m so sorry about them taking off with the money like that. I want to strangle them. Have the police found them yet?”

  “No. And I don’t think they will. Elaina’s too smart. But it’s going to be okay. I’ll have to work really hard, but—”

  “I’m sending you a check.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I know that. But I also know that you’re likely living on next to nothing. My check is to help you pay the rent until you get back on your feet. Don’t worry about repaying me. I don’t need it.”

  “Thank you so much,” Kylee answered, her throat tight. “You really are a friend.”

  “You’d do the same for me. Look, Mauro and I are flying into town a week from Saturday and we’ll be staying until the next Monday. I’m getting worried about my church attendance. I’ve had to work far too many Sundays, but that’s all going to end now. I’m requesting my fair share of weekends off. No more taking others’ shifts. Mauro’s going to do the same thing. That’s another reason I called. Do you think I could bunk up at your place for that weekend? I’m letting Mauro stay at my apartment since the other girls will be out on flights. But I can’t stay there because, well, you know.”

  Kylee laughed. “Of course I know. Old Mrs. Peabody next door would call it a den of iniquity and get you kicked out.”

  “Exactly.”

  “How does Mauro feel about that?”

  “He agrees, of course. His parents raised him right, even if it was in a different church.”

  Kylee thought of Bill. “Does he believe in God?”

  “Of course. I couldn’t imagine loving someone who didn’t believe in God. There would be too many problems, too many conflicts. So are you going to let me stay, or not?”

  “Of course you can stay.”

  “Okay then. I’ll see you Saturday.”

  “Plan for lunch on Sunday, or something,” Kylee said.

  “For your cooking? It’s a deal. Will Bill be there?”

  “I’ll invite him.”

  “Good. I’ll be glad to meet him. I have a surprise for you. Good news.”

  “Can’t you tell me now?”

  “Nope. Have to wait. Dang, I’ve got to go. They’re paging me. See ya.”

  Kylee hung up the phone and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Suzy’s news could be anything from a letter to Santa to an earth-shattering announcement. Kylee couldn’t count the times Suzy had appeared on her doorstep with no warning. She loved to spring surprises on people.

  So what was different about this time? Besides needing a place to stay, that is. Was it something about Mauro? Kylee frowned, remembering Suzy’s words, “I couldn’t imagine loving someone who didn’t believe in God. There would be too many problems.”

  Bill didn’t believe in God, or if by some chance there was a God, he didn’t believe that such an exalted being would care about mere mortals. If he never gained a testimony, would she be willing to live a life of attending church alone? What influence would that have on their children?

  “Stop it,” Kylee said aloud. “It’s not as if he’s asked you to marry him.” She wasn’t sure he’d even want to get married. His marriage with Nicole had lasted only two days, and he had been alone ever since. Over the past five years he might have grown too set in his bachelorhood to want a change now. Kylee tried again to push her doubts aside, but it was difficult. She was relieved when the phone rang again.

  “What are you doing?” Bill asked.

  Kylee looked down at her nightgown and stifled a laugh. “Nothing much. Just about to go through some papers.”

  “Well, I called to tell you I’ve scheduled Jeffery for a week from Monday on the twentieth. Hope that’s all right.”

  “It’s wonderful. I’ll call and tell Mr. Rivers right now. Oh, that reminds me, I need to call and see how Anna and Mrs. Johnson are doing.”

  “She’ll be pretty swollen for the next week,” he said. “But Dr. Nelson has a good reputation, and she should look a lot better than she did.”

  “I’m so happy about that.”

  “You’d better not read the local paper then.”

  Kylee’s smile vanished. “What now?”

  “An extremely negative article about the charity.”

  “But they printed my release. I don’t understand what they’re doing. This shouldn’t even be news anymore. Read it to me, okay?”

  “You sure?”

  “I can take it.”

  “Uh, let’s see . . . ‘Children’s charity swindles millions.’ That’s the title. Underneath it says, ‘Administrators for the Children’s Hope Fund of Los Angeles, California have stolen millions of dollars from unsuspecting donors. Several months ago the charity launched an aggressive campaign that brought their company to the attention of the entire nation. People across the country donated amounts from five dollars to one million dollars. The money was supposed to go to children who desperately need surgeries, but the charity administrators, Troy Stutts and Elaina Rinehart, used the funds for their own gain. There’s no telling how much they have taken over the years, but an estimated 24.5 million dollars was recently transferred to overseas banks. Stutts and Rinehart have left the country, but it is uncertain whether or not they are still operating this scam through employees. While the fundraising organizer for Children’s Hope, Kylee Stuart, is still actively seeking donations, authorities from the FBI are urging people to stop handing over their hard-earned cash. To date no children have been helped by the charity.’ ” Bill paused and then added, “There’s a bit more of the same. Plus a few nasty comments from some angry people who donated.”

  “A little truth mixed with some big lies. Elaina and Troy did help many children, and they never stole before—I can vouch for that. And to insinuate that I’m still collecting money to send to them is too unbelievable for words.”

  “Do you want me to call the paper?” Bill asked quietly.

  “No. I’ll go down there myself. Maybe I can get them to listen. I’ll even show them the e-mails I’ve exchanged with the FBI. That ought to add authenticity.”

  “I’m sorry, Kylee.”

  “Thanks. Me, too. I appreciate all you’re doing. I know it’s not easy for you to help Jeffery.”

  He laughed. “A lot easier than I thought.” There was a loaded silence and then, “I missed you when I woke up.” Bill’s voice held an odd note now, one she didn’t recognize. “I imagined what it would be like to have you next to me.”

  “You did? And then what?”

  “Then I went downstairs and unloaded the dishwasher. We certainly used a lot of dishes last night. Usually I run it nearly empty.” His voice had returned to its normal timbre. “What about dinner tonight?”

  “Your place or mine?”

  “I know this lit
tle Chinese restaurant near your place, and the food’s good.”

  “What about money? You’re already going to take a big hit with Jeffery’s surgery.”

  “Anyone can afford this place. Besides, I’m not going broke for a long time yet. I’m a plastic surgeon, and you should see my surgery schedule the rest of this week.” He chuckled. “Pre-Christmas presents, you know. Not only do people have time off, many of them have to use the rest of the funds in their Cafeteria plans before January, or they lose them. This is my busiest time of the year. So how about it?”

  “I’d love to. Thanks.”

  “I’ll come by after work. Not sure when I’ll get done, though.”

  “I’ll be here. I have work to do here, so whenever you’re ready, come over.”

  “Okay, I will.” He hesitated again. “If you need me, call. You have the number.”

  “I will.” Kylee hung up the phone, warmth flooding her senses. It was kind of silly that he worried about her because she could certainly take care of herself. Yet after so long on her own, it felt wonderful to have a man other than one of her church leaders be concerned for her welfare. Her faith was important to her, but maybe she could give Bill a few weeks and see what happened. At the very least, she could share her testimony with him.

  She sat up and swung her feet off the bed. Time to face the world.

  After calling Mr. Rivers and Mrs. Johnson, Kylee went down to the newspaper office. She was interviewed almost immediately by a reporter, a sure sign of a hot story. When she left the office, she felt confident they would print an accurate version.

  She drove almost reluctantly to the post office where she checked her box, fearing to find stacks of letters from the people on her charity lists, censuring her for losing their contributions. Instead, there were only a few letters with donations that had trickled in from the TV commercial before it had been pulled. She sighed with relief, though she knew that the dreaded letters probably hadn’t had time to arrive yet. Kylee drove to the bank and deposited the new donations. The total of the checks was less than a hundred dollars, but anything would help the children.