Ana Mourns (The Clermont Coven Trilogy Book 2)

by Alina Banks

  “We’ll deal with those things when they happen. Nothing that has happened is your fault. Blaming you for being stronger than her, even if it is because you took what she views as her magic, isn’t something I can accept. I told her that after you left. I think, slowly, she’s beginning to see how much damage she’s doing to your relationship, but it might well be too little too late. You aren’t going to forgive her easily for this.”

  “Mom, ever since her memories were changed, has been different. At first, it was obvious why that was the case. Those memories meant she didn’t know who she was, and I could mostly deal with it, even if she was pushing for me to be in a relationship with someone I didn’t want to be with.”

  “Yet Damien is the person you ended up with.”

  “Only because he thinks he can protect me from his family.” I shrugged. “He’s doing what he can to help me out, and I appreciate that.”

  “What’s he getting in return.”

  “Likelihood is, he’ll be getting nothing in return, but I am looking into something for him, which may well turn out to be a useful weapon.” I ran my tongue over my dry lips. “The Easons all know Mom’s planning to do something, and I can’t help wondering if they’re going to make the first move.”

  “You told me you have Sasha out there watching over her.”

  “Sasha is just a cat. If one of the vampires makes the decision to do something, there’s going to be nothing Sasha can do to help Mom, apart from being there for her if things work out the way I think they might.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sitting in the sanctuary, my thoughts turned to Mom. Again. I’d never really known her, not as the person she was, because she put being a mom first. That, I think, was why she kept the truth from me for as long as she did, rather than being honest with me about the fact I was a witch. In her mind, she went back to what it had been like for her and what she wished her mom had done for her. The fact that we were very different people didn’t seem to be something she realized, because even though she was my mother, she didn’t know me anywhere near as well as she thought she did, which was why I’d ended up walking a very different path to the one she would have taken had she been me. Now, with everything that had happened, she’d lost that part of herself. At least, that was how it seemed. In all honesty, I had no idea what was going through her head. Dad understood her in a way I didn’t because he’d known her before, and all I had was who she’d become.

  Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I looked at the journal I’d found. Just like me, Elisa had learned about being a witch later on, as her parents had left Clermont after the vampires, and since her mom was the sister of a witch and not a witch herself, it wasn’t something they thought was possible. At least, until Elisa was called by the spell. It changed everything for her and for her family. Being so certain she had to go to Clermont made it obvious to her mom what had happened, but that meant returning to a place that was full of pain because of what had happened. They had a house, the same one we were living in, passed down from one generation to the next, but it wasn’t as though they really had a choice. Not when being called was affecting Elia the way it was - making me all the more certain we weren’t going to use that kind of spell unless we really didn’t have any other option. The three of us would never truly be enough to defeat the demon, but I had to believe the others would come back to help us of their own free will. They wouldn’t want Clermont to fall to the demon.

  Elisa wasn’t all that like me. Accepting she was a witch was harder for her than it was for me. Seeing her write about those first days in Clermont, working out what it meant to be a witch, I was able to see that part of the reason was that she didn’t have anyone there to help her. Finding her way into the sanctuary, which seemed to have been a part of the house for as long as there had been witches, had helped a little, as it meant she’d found the journal. For me, it was so much easier. I had Mom, even if she was doing everything she could to keep the truth from me. I had Miss Cane, who was willing to teach me what Mom hadn’t, as she saw things very differently from Mom.

  The person who called Elisa and the other witches was a Cane, but she was very different than the Cane I knew. She was still angry with those who had been part of the coven before for abandoning her, and when she met Elisa, that anger made it hard for her to accept the new coven leader. From what I’d read, the two of them didn’t get along at all. I could understand it. Elisa was just looking for someone who could help guide her, when all the Cane seemed to want was for things to go back the way they were before. She wanted a coven leader who could lead. Elisa, right then, wasn’t that person, which meant the weight was still on the Cane’s shoulders, which wasn’t what she wanted. I wasn’t sure I’d be a good leader either, but I’d do my best if something did happen to Mom. There was nothing else I could do.

  Sighing, I ran a finger over Elisa’s words, written not long after she’d arrived in Clermont. ‘I wish someone had told me the truth sooner, so I had some idea of what I was walking into. I wish Mom hadn’t tried to pretend this wasn’t a part of her life, because it always was, even if she wasn’t the one who was born a witch.’

  Damien and I had always planned to meet up, so we seemed like we were a mostly normal couple, even if we weren’t. I sat opposite him, the same way I had done so many times with Alex. Thinking of him made me wonder if I’d made the right choice. Logically, being with Damien made sense, but nothing about what was happening was anywhere near normal. Dealing with vampires, demons, and people who’d become the demon’s minions…everything about my life was different than how I’d imagined it would be. Mom keeping so much of herself from me meant I had no chance of understanding who I was. Who I could be. Why I always felt a little disconnected from everyone else.

  “I’ve spent a lot of time traveling from one place to the next. People do start to notice when you don’t age, at least once we’re meant to have reached a certain point in your life, and there was a time when I kept my distance purely due to what I was. Being a vampire…I’m not going to say it’s the same as being a witch because it isn’t, but we do have a lot of similarities when it comes to how our lives have played out.”

  “You’re several centuries older than I am, and if I can’t make the spell work, then there’s a chance you’ll never be mortal. That means you’re never going to die.” I shrugged. “I’m not really seeing the similarities here.”

  “As I’m sure you’ve seen, death isn’t the end. There is something that continues on from this life and the demon took that from us. He thought we were going to want that, so we’d fight for it by doing exactly what he wanted. In the beginning, that’s what I did. Even more than the others. They didn’t care anywhere near as much about what came after. They didn’t care about what the demon had taken from them. I don’t know that they were ever going to care about any of this. They say they’re here now because they want their freedom, but I think that’s a lie.”

  “How can you know?” My eyes met with his. “From what I can tell, none of you truly trust each other, and therefore, you’re keeping parts of yourself hidden away, so there’s no way any of you can know who the other truly is.” I shrugged. “I think, honestly, that’s just a part of life. Keeping the fact that I’m a witch from Sabrina hasn’t been easy, but it has always seemed like the best thing I could do for her and for me. Only, it means I’m lying to her all the time. She doesn’t truly know who I am. Maybe she wouldn’t want to be friends with me if she knew the whole truth. Just being close to me is enough to make her a target.”

  “She was already a target before you became a part of her life. The gift of magic the demon gave the families…I don’t think he truly understood how that was going to affect the town. As far as he was concerned, he was giving that gift to a small number of people, and he knew it would pass down from one generation to the next, but it permeated everything long before the next generation was born. My cousin being a witch was enough for me to be affected by
the magic she had. Even now, it’s impossible for any man to use the magic that’s within him, because the demon only gave the gift to women, for whatever reason. It may well have been his way of giving the women of this town a kind of power no other woman had and trying to make them worship him for it. Unfortunately for him, the decision backfired and they used that magic against him.” He shook his head. “Had they not made that choice, things would be very different now. I wouldn’t be here. There’s a chance you wouldn’t be here either.”

  Nodding, I brushed a hand through my hair. “I’ve read your cousin’s journal. I understand better than you do, I think, why she made the choices she did, and how the magic she was ‘gifted’ affected her. Every one of the Conways has left a journal to give us all a better understanding of what it means to be a witch in Clermont.”

  Making my way home meant going past Alex’s house, and he was sitting in the garden, seemingly reading a book when I went past. Reading a book outside at nearly midnight. I looked at him for a moment, more amused than anything. “Did you really think anyone was going to fall for that?”

  “Had it been anyone other than you, I would have pretended to be asleep.” He stood. “How are things going?”

  I shrugged. “Everything is complicated still.” My eyes met his for a moment. “I have no idea what’s going to happen next. Mom’s…she’s not who she was before, and it’s leading her down a path she never would have walked. At least, I don’t think she would have. Dad thinks it might lead to the two of them divorcing, which…they loved each other so much until they came back here, and it makes me wonder if Clermont is cursed.” Technically it was, in multiple ways, although there would be those who’d say it wasn’t a curse. “I don’t have any control over things. I can’t talk to Mom anymore because she isn’t willing to listen to anyone. Because she sees everyone as her enemy.”

  “This all has something to do with the Easons.”

  Nodding, I stepped closer to him. “They’re…I know the family has old links to Clermont. I don’t have all the details, and maybe I don’t need them, but I can’t help thinking we need more information. Only, I’m not certain I have the time to look into it.”

  “Well, since we split up, I’ve had plenty of extra time. I could look into it for you if that’s what you need.”

  “Alex…”

  “You aren’t asking me to do anything. I’m offering.” He smiled. “Ana, whatever you need, I’m willing to do. Even if it might mean learning a little more than I wish to. You’re the one dealing with things I don’t understand, because I’m the one who made the decision to bury my head in the sand, and maybe I shouldn’t have. After everything that has happened, I’m beginning to see it was a mistake. The same sort of mistake my family made in the past after all those deaths.” He reached out to take my hand. “I’d like to take it slowly, though, and I think researching this might actually be a good place to start.”

  “Okay.” I nibbled my bottom lip. “This isn’t me asking you to do it, but if you want to and you’d be willing to share that information with me, I’d be very grateful to you.” I found tears welling in my eyes. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t.” He squeezed my hand. “I understand how hard things have been for you recently, and if I can be there, then I will, as long as I’m not causing too many issues.” His eyes met mine. “You know where I’ll be. All you need to do is knock.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Saturday passed without anything much happening. Dad went to see his parents and I spent the majority of the day in the sanctuary. It was almost normal. The strange part was walking into the house to find that Mom still wasn’t there. Normally, on a Saturday, she would have tried to be there for dinner, only that wasn’t something she wanted to do, because being around us…I nibbled my lip as I sat opposite Dad, my eyes meeting his for a moment. I could see he shared my emotions. No matter how many times he willingly spoke on behalf of Mom, I knew he was feeling the pain the same way I was, and he didn’t truly understand why she’d made the decisions she had.

  “Lilah…you know she’s always had trouble accepting who she was. What she was. Being a witch, having magic, fighting against parts of her that she didn’t want to exist…I remember back when she first told me the truth about who she was. We were sixteen, the same age as you are now, and at first, I thought she was joking with me. I thought witches were fictional, and she said she wished that were true. She wished she was joking with me, but she was a witch, so I needed to make a decision as to whether or not I actually wanted to be with her. At that point, we were kind of working out what it was we wanted. I looked at her, thinking there was no possible chance she was actually being honest with me, until I saw the tears in her eyes. One of them escaped, trickling down her cheek, and I wiped it away, seeing all the pain she felt right then. She’s feeling that pain right now. It’s a pain I don’t think she ever worked through, instead choosing to hide away from it. Now that it’s back, she’s reacting badly.”

  “Mom’s reacting like the teenager she was back then, but she’s not a teenager now, Dad. I’m a teenager, and I’m dealing with this in a very different way.”

  “You are, but that’s because you’ve always taken more after me than you have your mom when it comes to how you cope with things. I haven’t once seen you act as though you’re out of your depth, but I know how you’re doing it, and it’s the same way I do things - fake it until you make it. Your mom’s never been like that. Everything she’s been through is partially because she can’t put on that act. She can’t fake anything, and right now, she’s lost the part of her that was able to cope with being a witch in Clermont at a time when you’re having to deal with the demon. She never wanted to be a part of that again. She definitely didn’t want to have to deal with other minions of his that she doesn’t truly understand, but here she is, doing just that, because she knows she doesn’t have any other option.”

  When Sasha bounded through the window, I was almost at the point where I was going to fall asleep. I knew from the way she looked at me, that she needed me to go with her, and my heart sank. In seconds, I was dressed. Climbing down to the ground took longer, but then we were running. She’d always been much faster than me, but somehow, I kept up with her. I followed her down streets I didn’t know, sprinting under the glow of the streetlights and through dark side streets and alleys, trusting her to take me to where I was needed. It wasn’t long before we reached the Easons’ house. There were no lights on. I stilled for a moment, looking at Sasha, whose tail twitched slightly. Nodding, I followed her to the back of the house, where there was an entrance to the basement. Again, it was dark, but I knew she was leading me to where Mom was.

  As my eyes got used to the lack of light, I could see that the basement was full of things, probably from previous times when the Easons had been in Clermont. Carefully, I made my way through the piles until I reached the stairs that led up to the ground floor, so I thought for a moment that was where Sasha was taking me. Only then, we took a left, going away from the stairs, through more piles, because the basement was much more like a maze than any of the ones I’d been in before. There was probably a reason for that. Vampires being careful to make sure they wouldn’t get attacked without knowing someone was making their way through the basement, unless, of course, that person had a familiar who was there to protect them. Finally, we reached a dark corner where Mom was crouched, working on some kind of spell. Raising an eyebrow, I looked at her. She looked back at me. I could see the mix of emotions in her eyes.

  “Leave, Ana.”

  “Don’t do this.” I crouched down next to her. “Come on, Mom. This isn’t going to work. The vampires are too strong for this to work. Before we stand a chance of dealing with them, we need to weaken them.”

  “Of course it’s going to work.” She smiled. “I’ve been working on this for the last week, and it’s a spell that will send them to where they’re meant to be - the afterlife.” Her eyes met mine. “You
either need to get out of here or you need to help me do this. If you help me…well, maybe it will go some way towards fixing the damage you’ve done to my trust in you. I am your coven leader and you’re meant to be following my orders no matter what.”

  Closing my eyes, I focused on the spell Mom was building, and I could see she was as good at creating spells as all Conways were. She just didn’t have the strength to be able to make it work. Logically, the spell was one that should be able to work, but I felt like there was an element missing. Nibbling my bottom lip, I tried to work out what it was. If I knew more, I might have been able to identify it. I might have been able to help make certain it would do what she wanted it to, only the deeper I went into the spell, the more obvious it became that it wouldn’t do what she planned, which was just going to lead to one thing. Opening my eyes again, I looked at her.

  “There’s something missing.” I still had my teeth buried in my lip. “It’s not going to work the way you want it to.”

  “Really?” She shook her head. “I should have known you were going to say something like that. I wanted to give you a chance, but that was a mistake.”

  Unexpectedly, Mom lashed out at me with her magic. That was something she’d never done before, and something I could never have imagined her doing. For a moment, I blinked at her, feeling her magic wrapping around me, wondering why she would make that choice. Unfortunately, it was the moment that gave her spell enough time to work. Had I thought it was possible she might do that, I would have been able to stop it, but right then, I was stupid enough to trust her, even when she’d made it obvious she didn’t trust me. I dropped to the floor, the spell was created to make me fall asleep, so at least she hadn’t made the decision to hurt me. She just wanted to get me out of the way.