Adventures In Funeral Crashing (Funeral Crashing #1)

by Milda Harris

  “Except kiss you!” Ethan yelled back.

  “So?” I dared him.

  Ethan looked furious, “Do you want to end up dead like those other girls? Have a funeral of your own?”

  I sucked in a breath and tried to remain calm. “No. I don’t have a death wish. I was trying to get Troy to talk to me.”

  “By making out with you?” Ethan asked sarcastically.

  “And like you punching him was the best idea in the world,” I retorted.

  “It was better than your great idea,” Ethan snapped back.

  “Yeah, hit a serial killer,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm. “Smaaaart.”

  “I hope the kiss was worth it when he shoots you up with heroin,” Ethan angrily fired back.

  “For your information, he did not kiss me!” I yelled. “And, I did get information out of him.”

  Ethan was stubbornly silent for a moment. I tried to calm down. I understood why he was all freaked out, but I could take care of myself and it was worth it. I did find out something. Something important, I was sure, if I could just figure it out.

  “Like what?” Ethan’s curiosity got the better of him.

  I told Ethan what Troy had told me, without the whole inching forward, trying to make out with me stuff mixed in. Ethan didn’t need to know any more than he already did about that. He had probably seen enough of it to get the gist anyway, right before he punched Troy out.

  “And, he said he dated Jenna, not Vanessa. He said he didn’t even know Vanessa,” I added. “Maybe I could have gotten more out of him too, if someone hadn’t come barging in. Like why it had ended badly between him and Jenna.”

  Ethan laughed bitterly, “And, how was he going to talk to you with his tongue in your mouth?”

  “Maybe I was trying to butter him up!” I offered.

  “He could be lying,” Ethan wanted to dismiss it.

  “I don’t think so,” I retorted. “It’s weird. Like, you can’t make this up weird. He said he dated Jenna. She told us that he dated her sister. So?”

  “Sadly, some guys don’t exactly remember the names of all the girls they date, either,” Ethan smirked at me. “And, it’s not like he’d really want to talk about it in front of a girl he’s trying to get with.”

  “Whatever,” I was feeling annoyed with Ethan. What was his problem? Why did he care if Troy wanted to make out with me? I just wanted to go home at this point.

  Ethan shook his head, “How can I get it through your thick skull that someone who could commit four murders, might also be a good liar?”

  “But what if he did date Jenna and not Vanessa?” I asked. “Don’t you think that’s weird? Why would Jenna lie? Maybe she has something to do with the murders.”

  “Maybe they switched. They were twins,” Ethan offered.

  That was true. It was a possibility, but it still made things weird. I nodded, “Maybe.”

  Ethan shook his head, “Even if Jenna did date Troy, maybe she was afraid to say so. Maybe she knows he’s the serial killer. Maybe he killed the wrong sister and she doesn’t want him to come after her.”

  I felt my eyes narrow. It was possible Jenna Martin was scared for her life. I had to admit it, but I wasn’t so sure of Jenna’s complete innocence like Ethan was. There was definitely some kind of chemistry between Ethan and Jenna if he could just dismiss her being a suspect like that. It was weird. Any casual observer would have to put her on the list of suspects now. Jenna was involved somehow. I knew it. I was not going to be giving her a free pass like Ethan seemed to want to.

  Ethan continued his tirade, “I think it’s weird that you are so all about Troy when he’s probably a serial killer.”

  He finally started the car. I couldn’t wait to get home. I rolled my eyes and shook my head feeling exasperated. Ethan concentrated on his driving. I ignored him and stared out the window as he drove, thinking. Ethan just wanted to think badly of Troy. I was more convinced than ever that Troy hadn’t committed any murders. It was a gut instinct. Then again, Ethan would probably just say that was chemistry between Troy and me. Maybe it was. I admit it. Troy wouldn’t ever be completely in the clear until I found the real murderer though.

  So, I was very interested in Jenna, now. What did Jenna and Vanessa have to do with all of this and Troy? There was most definitely something there and even if Ethan didn’t, I wanted to look into the suddenly conflicting story between Jenna and Troy. Did he date Vanessa or Jenna? Was it important? And, really, why would Jenna lie about it? Or if Troy was the one lying, why would he? Answers just seemed to bring on more questions.

  Chapter 17: Panicking

  Ethan dropped me off at my house without saying a word. I got out of the car and slammed the door. Ethan pealed away in a rush. It was only a little after nine o’clock, but it felt late. It had been a long night and I was exhausted. I stared after Ethan for a moment, wondering if we would get past this latest quarrel. I didn’t even care if he talked to me at school tomorrow, I was so mad at him. I felt the energy drain out of me. I just wanted to go to sleep. Thinking about Ethan only seemed to drive me crazy.

  I was about to turn and walk up the driveway to my house and my oh-so-comfy bed, when I felt my skin start to prickle. I live in a decently nice suburb and I don’t think the crime rate is very high or anything, but nonetheless, I started getting the creeps. I looked around. My particular subdivision didn’t have many street lamps. There were a few, but they were so far apart that there were plenty of dark shadows to hide in.

  As I scanned the area, I started digging in my purse for my house keys. They always get buried in my purse, no matter how small it is. My skin was really crawling now. I wanted to bolt inside the house. I couldn’t see anyone lurking, but it didn’t mean that there wasn’t anybody there. I felt my hand close around my key chain – a small stuffed cat that I thought looked like Scarlett. I ran for my front door. Somehow, I didn’t even fumble the keys as I turned them in the lock, pulled the door open, and slammed it behind me.

  The house was dark. My dad still wasn’t home from his friend’s house. I turned on all the lights. I knew that if someone wanted to get in, they still could, but a houseful of lights at least made me feel safer. I wished we had an alarm system. That would make me feel even better. Or even a dog. As I thought that, my cat Scarlett came out from under the couch in the living room and I scooped her up and carried her to my room. At least she could keep me company, even if she wasn’t going to scare away any stalkers.

  I wondered if I should call someone. Ethan was probably only a mile away. Should I call him? I wondered if he’d even answer. Should I call my dad? I listened for any sounds of someone breaking in. Was I just spooked because of the whole serial killer on the loose thing or was there really someone out there watching me? I didn’t want to look like a scared kid. Maybe this whole murder investigation was just getting to me.

  I debated. After thinking about it, I decided to wait. I didn’t need Detective Dixon coming to my house and giving me a lecture about calling the police for no reason if they couldn’t find anyone. I definitely didn’t want it to look like I was freaking out or anything. It would damage our case to the police when we were ready to present it and it would give proof to Ethan that he was right. I didn’t want to prove him right.

  Still, I put my cell phone on my desk within easy reach, just in case. I would call the police if someone broke in or if I had any concrete evidence someone was trying to kill me, in a heartbeat. I put Scarlett on my lap as I turned on my computer. I wanted to email Jenna and ask her about what Troy had said, but as soon as I logged onto my Facebook, I saw that there was another message. It was from Jane Austen, as in the writer of Pride and Prejudice. Yet, my name was the subject. Weird. I clicked on it and felt myself start to shake as I read the message: Troy is my boyfriend.

  I stared at that message for a long time without moving or thinking. It was just one sentence, but it was terrifying. My rational brain was reminding me that this wa
s a big break in the case. We were obviously getting to someone – even if that someone just thought that Troy and I were actually dating. Despite this big break, though, at that very moment I was paralyzed by fear. Someone was threatening me. The email was only one sentence, but the sentiment was definitely clear. And, it must be just like the email Liz had received. Hers was from Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein, but still. They were both from dead writers. I wondered if any of the other girls had received this kind of email.

  Who was it? All of Troy’s girlfriends were dead. At least, the ones we knew about. I knew I didn’t want to be next. Who else was there? Unless…and she was the only one I could think of, Jenna was involved with Troy. Was this email from Jenna? Was she the murderer? Was she capable of killing her sister and all the other girls?

  Jenna had already made my list of suspects after Troy’s confusion about knowing her, Jenna, and not knowing Vanessa Martin. I thought about it. I had only spoken to Jenna for about fifteen minutes that night in the diner where Ethan and I had questioned her about her sister’s death. She had seemed normal enough and forthcoming. I tried to analyze her now, in retrospect, but I just didn’t know. Was she a crazy person underneath that normal exterior? I had never exactly liked her, but I wasn’t sure that just wasn’t jealousy over Ethan.

  I wasn’t sure what to do. Unless Troy was trying to throw me off his scent, this email implicated a girl and the only girl I knew to implicate was Jenna. The question was - what did I do about it?

  I made a decision. I jumped on Facebook and emailed Jenna like I had originally planned. I would have called her, but Ethan was the one with her number and I wasn’t completely sure he’d give it to me if I asked him for it. Besides, I wasn’t sure I could act the part I wanted to play for Jenna on the phone. Email was easier. She couldn’t hear me say it, which would totally give me away. Anyway, I wasn’t going to call Ethan first. I had nothing to apologize for. I had done what I had to do in regards to Troy.

  I thought for a moment before I started typing. I had to play it right. Scarlett tried to get my attention by pawing at the keyboard. I pushed her paw away, stroked her head, and managed to write a quick email:

  Jenna,

  I have a question for you. I went on a dinner date with Troy Matthews tonight. It went great. He’s a great kisser, actually, and we’re supposed to go out again. Anyway, he said something that was kind of weird. He said that he dated you, not Vanessa. Want to tell me about that?

  Kait

  I reread it as Scarlett finally settled down on my lap, purring. I debated being even more confrontational, but settled on clueless. Jenna would get the hint. If Jenna had dated Troy and was a jealous psycho murderer ex-girlfriend then my gushing about going out with him and kissing him would send her over the edge. I knew she was aware that my date with Troy was a setup from the call between her and Ethan earlier, but I was hoping my admission that we were going on another date would set off the crazy in crazy ex-girlfriend anyway if that is what she was. If not, hopefully Jenna would answer my question and tell me why she had lied or if she hadn’t. I’d give her a shot to tell me that she was scared that Troy would kill her too or that she was totally innocent. I sent it before I thought more about it. Someone was lying and the key was definitely the Martin sisters.

  I picked up my cell phone and stared at it. I scrolled through the numbers and found Troy’s. I knew Ethan was going to hate what I was about to do, but it had to be done. I dialed Troy’s number.

  It went to voicemail. Figures that he might not want to talk to me after my “friend” punched him for making a move on me. I didn’t blame Troy. Still, I was going to leave a message. Troy hadn’t cut all ties when he left, after all. He had told me to look him up after I talked to Ethan and that’s exactly what I was doing. The beep sounded.

  “Hey, Troy. It’s Kait. I’m sooo sorry about tonight. I don’t know what came over Ethan. I’d still really like to keep hanging out. Call me, okay?” I hung up.

  I half hoped Troy wouldn’t call me back, but I needed to talk to him. I needed to keep the communication lines open with him and I needed to find out how things had gone badly with Jenna Martin. Hopefully I wasn’t rekindling a dating relationship with a serial killer, like Ethan was going to think.

  I put my phone back on my desk and stared at my Facebook sent box. Now all I had to do was wait for Jenna to read her email and respond and for Troy to call me back. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the anticipation part of all that. Everything hinged on those two conversations. I tried to take my mind off of it. I needed to stop thinking about the entire night, actually. I was still listening for sounds of a break in. I put Scarlett on my bed and went to my dresser to get out my pajamas. I was probably going to have a hard time sleeping with my thoughts spinning in every direction, but I could definitely use the rest.

  I jumped. I heard a sound in the living room. I dropped my pajamas on the floor. I heard the front door opening. I grabbed for my cell phone, ready to dial Ethan and the police.

  “Kait?” My dad said from the other room.

  I sighed in relief. It took me a second to stop shaking.

  “I’m in my room, Dad!” I yelled back after I regained my voice and felt relief wash over me.

  This whole detective murder mystery business was starting to get to me. I picked up my pajamas off the floor. It wouldn’t be good if my dad saw me in my date dress. I changed quickly. Besides, it was definitely time for me to go to sleep.

  Chapter 18: Suspecting

  I woke up exhausted the next morning. I had spent the whole night tossing and turning between nightmares. I guess that figures when you’re in the middle of a murder investigation. I checked my Facebook before getting ready for school, but there was no response from Jenna and definitely no voicemails or texts from Troy. I had practically slept with my cell phone waiting for him to call me back. Then again, I didn’t blame him. Ethan had made a terrible enough impression on him for the both of us.

  It was going to be a long day at school. I was so tired and the day seemed endless even as I got off the bus at eight in the morning. Still, I was surprised to find Ariel waiting for me at my locker. It wasn’t a good surprise by any means, but since I needed a book for my Spanish class out of my locker, I was going to have to face her.

  “So, what’s going on with you and Ethan?” Ariel asked before I had even reached my locker.

  Hadn’t we gone through this, days ago? “Nothing.”

  “Uh-huh,” Ariel watched as I turned my locker combination. “Is that why he practically tore that guy Troy’s head off for making a move on you?”

  I turned to look at her, incredulous, “Ariel, if you’re suggesting that Ethan likes me, you’re nuts. You have a way better chance with him.”

  “Oh, is that why as soon as you left with Troy and I was making my move, Ethan practically pushed me out of the booth to run after you? I told him you were in the bathroom. And, he assumed with Troy. Do you know that he busted into the women’s bathroom looking for you? He scared the shit out of some old lady peeing in a stall before he decided to check the arcade,” Ariel was looking at me matter of factly.

  That was interesting. It was kind of fun thinking over what it might mean that Ethan was so frantic to find me that he burst in on an old lady peeing.

  “Hi, Kait!” Dave Rickerson said, walking by, making me remember where I was.

  Even Mike Finnegan, who was walking with him, waved. That was surreal, but I waved back anyway. Ariel looked at me incredulously.

  “So, Ethan’s friends are saying hi to you for no reason at all?” Ariel asked.

  “Why are you telling me all this, Ariel?” I asked, ignoring her question.

  “Because I think you’re both idiots,” Ariel started and I knew there was more. “And, if there’s something going on with you and Ethan, I wondered if you might be interested in hooking me up with Troy?”

  “What?” I was incredulous. Twenty-four hours ago
she had been all about Ethan.

  “What? He’s cute,” Ariel shrugged. “He’s in college and he has super huge muscles. Hot.”

  “But you don’t even like art,” I managed.

  Ariel looked at me like I was an idiot, “When you look like me, art is the last thing on any boy’s mind.”

  I didn’t know what to say. As much as Ariel had gone from being my best friend to becoming my arch enemy, I could not in all honesty set her up with Troy at this very moment. Troy was not clear of murder suspicion, despite what I thought of him. And, even if he wasn’t murdering the girls himself, he most likely had some part in all of it. I could not have my ex-bff’s murder on my hands, arch enemy or not, so I just said, “Gotta go to Spanish. Bye…”

  Then I sprinted for my Spanish class. I took off at a full run and everything. Otherwise, I knew Ariel would have followed me, asking a barrage of Troy questions and annoying me until I had to give her his number. I was only delaying it, since I knew this wouldn’t be the end of it. Once Ariel set her mind on someone, she would not let up, especially if that someone was a hot guy.

  I managed to avoid Ariel all morning after our bizarre run in, so it was a good day. I hadn’t seen Ethan either, so it wasn’t a great day (even if we were still in a fight), but all in all, I was in an okay mood by the time I made it to Chemistry class, fourth period.

  I was one of the first ones to walk into class, but I noticed Suzie was already at her desk reading the end of Pride and Prejudice. She was so engrossed in it that she didn’t even notice me walk in. I went to my lab table and set my books down. That’s when my mind did a double take. I looked back at Suzie again, who still hadn’t looked up from her book. Yes, it was definitely Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen that she was reading. That was an odd coincidence.

  Don’t get me wrong. Jane Austen is a great writer and I’m sure many people enjoy her books (I know I do), but come on, this is high school. What are the odds of Suzie Whitsett reading that book at the same time that I got a harassing email from its long dead author? Was it a coincidence or was there more to it? And, Suzie had admitted to also reading Frankenstein by Mary Shelley around the time of the first murder, not to mention that Suzie was one of the last people to see Liz O’Reilly alive at the Palos Animal Shelter Adoption Fair in the park.