Waiting to Breathe: Book One of the Waiting Duet

by Alyson Reynolds

  “I thought it was a hot girl, instead it’s my sister.”

  “Your sister is hot,” I said. He arched an eyebrow at me and I laughed. “But, she’s also all mine. If any other guy looks at her tonight, I might have to kick their ass.”

  Olivia wrapped her arms around my waist. “There’s no need to be a caveman. I’m here with you, no one else.”

  I grinned. “I like that answer.”

  She giggled. “Now I’m going to go dance with Cora.”

  I watched her grab her friend’s hand and take off for the living room. Finn’s head tilted to the side and I caught him staring at Cora’s ass as she followed behind Liv.

  “Cora?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

  “No,” he said quickly. Too quickly. “Nope. Never going to happen.”

  “Me thinks he doeth protest too much.”

  “Shut up, idiot. I’ve known Cora forever. She’s like my other sister.”

  “Okay.” I held up my hands and waved him off. “You’ve totally convinced me. I’ll never say another word about it.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Ford,” he drawled in warning.

  “Nope, we’re good. Forget I said anything.”

  I grinned and grabbed a drink. When I turned to walk in the direction of the living room, Lila saw me and came running. Her tits bounced everywhere in her little red riding hood costume. My eyes shot past her as I looked for someone, anyone to save me.

  “Hey Nate! Want to dance?” She tried to start grinding on me, but I stepped back. The girl reeked of alcohol.

  “Nope, I don’t dance.” I held up my hands to ward her off. “But I bet Finn would dance with you. You should go ask him.”

  She pouted and I tried to take another step away. Finn walked up behind me and I took advantage.

  “Here he is now, Lila. I bet Finn would love to dance with you.” Finn’s eyes bugged out and I knew I would owe him for this one. I nodded quickly and he took Lila’s hand, but shot me a dirty look. As soon as she was in front of him, he turned around and flipped me off as they made their way into the crowd.

  I breathed a sigh of relief and looked for Liv and Cora. Olivia was dancing her ass off and Cora was shooting daggers at Finn and Lila. Apparently things didn’t just go one way with them. That was a fascinating development.

  I took another glance across the room only to see Christian staring at Liv. It took everything I had not to go put him in his place, but I knew that she would hate all that attention focused on her. So instead, I sucked it up and went to get my girl. If Christian even thought about trying to talk to her, I would beat him into a bloody pulp. Finn was preoccupied and I bet I could get a couple of good hits in before he could stop me.

  We all ended up crashing around two. Olivia with me and Cora with Finn. There was no way the girls could have made it back to their dorm room. Cora could barely stand up she was so drunk, and Finn had to carry her to his room. Lila may have had something to do with Cora drinking more than normal. Every time I looked over, Finn had his hands on Lila’s hips and she was grinding against him. Finn wasn’t doing much to discourage the attention though, so maybe he wasn’t lying about the Cora thing. Better him than me.

  Liv sighed in her sleep and the corner of my mouth turned up in a smile. Seeing her sleeping in my shirt was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen. I pulled her in closer to my chest and breathed in her vanilla scent. Just having her in my arms made me forget everything going on around me. I was falling fast and hard for this amazing girl.

  Nate and Finn tried to keep me from the frat house, but I wasn’t going to stay away from them just because Christian was there. After my run I stopped by to see Nate. One of the guys let me inside, and I ran upstairs to Nate’s room. He answered his door wearing only a towel and I thought I might swallow my tongue.

  “Cupcake, holy shit, I thought we talked about you coming to the house dressed like that. I thought we were meeting up at the library.”

  I looked down at my sports bra and capris and shrugged. I pushed the door shut behind me and watched his eyes go from surprised to smoldering. His hands reached for my hips and my fingers trailed down his chest. We hadn’t messed around since the morning we’d been in my dorm room, but I was ready to repay what he had done for me. I arched my body into his and he groaned against my neck.

  “Olivia,” he said in warning.

  My lips found his and I reached for the towel. His hands captured mine before I could pull it loose and I pouted.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I want you,” I whispered in his ear. I took a step back, slipped off my shoes and tugged my sports bra over my head. His eyes raked over my body. When his mouth found my nipple I moaned softly. My fingers tugged at the towel and he was naked.

  He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist instinctively. We moaned in unison as his cock rubbed against me. His hands grasped at my ass and our tongues tangled against one another.

  Nate laid me down on the bed and climbed over me, pinning me against the bed with his hips I bit down on his collarbone as he slipped his hand down into my panties. As his fingers circled my clit I arched off the bed against him.

  “Take those off, please,” I begged.

  “Slow down, cupcake. We don’t have to rush this.”

  His mouth found my nipple again and I threaded my fingers in his hair, tugging on the ends. He leaned back and grinned as he slid my tight capris and thong down my legs.

  “You’re fucking perfect,” he whispered. “I think I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.”

  “Nate, please. Stop talking.”

  He leaned over me and reached into his nightstand, pulling out a condom. I arched my brow at him and he smiled.

  “Only for you, cupcake. A guy can hope right?”

  He sucked on my neck and I reached down to grip him. My neck muffled his groan as I ran my hands up and down his length a few times. I took the condom from him and rolled it down his hard cock. His fingers circled my clit and my fingers dug into his back.

  Nate positioned himself at my entrance and his lips met mine as he thrust inside. His eyes searched mine as he pulled back to look at me. I leaned up with a small smile on my lips and nipped at his neck. He stayed still for a moment before starting to move. My body arched against him and my fingers gripped the sheets below me. One of his hands grabbed my ass and I yelped as he rolled us over so I was on top of him. I giggled as he kissed his way down my neck.

  His hands gripped my hips as I started to ride him. I reached behind me and braced my hands on his muscular thighs. Nate reached between us to rub my clit. He circled it twice and I felt myself getting close.

  “Nate.” My voice was breathy and full of need. I didn’t know what I wanted.

  “Fuck, Olivia.”

  “I’m so close.”

  His teeth bit down on my nipple and I exploded around him. He rolled us back over without pulling out and wrapped his arms around me. Our bodies were covered in a light sheen of sweat. I shivered as his fingers tangled in my hair. My fingers dug into his back and he muffled his release in the pillow next to me.

  I ran my fingers up and down his back in erratic patterns as we caught our breath. Nate braced himself above me and looked into my eyes.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m wonderful,” I said grinning.

  Nate’s door opened behind us and Finn called out. “Hey can I borrow—Oh god, that’s your ass. Damn it. Lock the fucking door.”

  “Learn to knock, Finn,” I called out, laughing as he slammed the door behind him.

  “So fucking gross. I need to go bleach my eyeballs now,” we heard him say.

  Nate and I looked at each other and cracked up. This would only happen to us.

  ____

  Nate’s hand was loosely entwined with mine as we walked along the sand. Every few minutes one of us would lean down and pick up a shell. There was a bite to the air now that it was the end of October.


  “Are you happy, Olivia?”

  I walked in front of him so I could turn around and make eye contact. He only called me Olivia if he was being serious.

  “I am.” He squeezed my hand and let go, leaning down to pick up another rock. I watched as he threw it out into the tide. “I’m healing a little more each day. Ellie will always be a part of me, but I know she’s being well taken care of.” A soft smile played on my lips. “I talked to Abby the other day and Ellie’s starting to walk.”

  “That’s awesome, cupcake.”

  I grabbed his arm and tugged him along beside me as we began walking again. Our hands swung between us, and I grinned like an idiot as I realized my small hand fit perfectly in his large one.

  We sat down in the sand to watch the tide and he wrapped his arms around me. If someone had asked me a year ago if I would have thought this possible, I would have said they were insane. I didn’t believe it was possible to be okay with the fact my daughter was gone and begin to fall in love again.

  “Nate, you know you’re a big reason why I’m doing so well right?”

  He kissed the back of my head and I leaned back into his chest. His arms wrapped tighter around me. “You would be doing fine without me, but I’m happy to hear you say that.”

  “I’m serious. Thank you.”

  “Did you know that Finn thought you would leave after Christian came to SCU?”

  I paused, unable to figure out exactly how to answer. “Yeah, I did. When he first told me that Chris was trying to transfer I told him that I was going to. He told me that he would come with me if I did.”

  He was quiet for a long time before saying anything.

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “Because of you.”

  “What?”

  “We had just started playing around with the idea of us and it was the first time in over a year that I finally felt like living again. It took me six months to even smile after I gave Ellie to Abby and Noah, but you made me laugh the first time I met you. You and that freaking ridiculous nickname you gave me.”

  A gorgeous smile covered his face and I got to see those dimples I love so much, “You’ll always be my little cupcake.”

  I playfully smacked at his arm. “You, Finn and Cora are my sanity. I would miss you guys too much to leave again. I’m through running.”

  We stayed and watched the dolphins playing along the horizon for another half hour. Nate seemed calmer than normal. He always tried to look laid back and carefree, but sometimes you could see the stress of something right below the surface. I grabbed his hand and we strolled back to the car slowly.

  I climbed into his truck and he stood next to the open door, kissing me and running his hands through my hair.

  “I’m happy you aren’t running anymore.”

  The buzzing of his phone pulled us out of our little bubble. He reached into his pocket and looked at the screen. His entire demeanor changed when he saw whatever was there. The happy and carefree man was gone and he looked like he had aged ten years. My fingers gripped his wrist, but he completely ignored my touch.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” He shook his head. “I just need to get back. Now. I won’t be in class tomorrow.”

  “Nate, what’s going on?”

  “Just drop it, Olivia. I need to go take care of some things at home.”

  He shut the car door and walked around to the driver’s side. His body was stiff and I didn’t know what to do to help him. The short ten minute drive was tense and silent. I debated what to say, but nothing helpful came to mind. Nate stopped in front of my dorms, and I turned to him.

  “Please, let me help you Nate.” My voice was almost a whisper. There was a desperation that I didn’t want to be there.

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  He stared ahead without looking at me. I could tell he wasn’t going to budge.

  “Because you can't or won't?” I asked angrily.

  “Won’t.” His jaw was stiff and he looked straight ahead.

  I slid out of the truck and turned back to look at him.

  “So I'm the only one in this relationship that's broken? That's not fair Nathaniel.” The anger was tangible in the air around us. “Call me when you get back. Or don’t. Whatever. I just told you I was through running. I never would have believed you would be the one to push me away.”

  “Oliv—”

  I slammed the door behind me. Doubt crept in and I wondered if I had made the right decision in staying.

  I don’t know why I shut her out. I just did. Olivia had dealt with so much; I didn’t want to add my shit to her plate. When Riley had text me earlier I wanted to tell her everything, but I couldn’t make myself. She knows I’ve been dealing with something, but she never once pushed for me to tell her. Thinking about that made me feel like an even bigger asshole.

  As I ran up the stairs to my room, I dialed Riley’s number.

  “Hey, what did the doctor say?” I asked as soon as he answered.

  “She’s out of the woods now, but they are putting her on a seventy-two hour psych watch.”

  “Fuck! Have you called grandma or grandpa yet?”

  “No, I was waiting to talk to you first. Nate, I don’t think you should come.”

  “What the fuck, Riley?” I demanded. “Mom tried to kill herself and you think I need to stay here and pretend that it didn’t happen?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying. You know she does this to guilt you into coming home. She tries to manipulate you and Jon both. The woman wants nothing more than to not have to deal with real life. She wants you to drop out of school and take over running the family. You’ve got too much work to do at school to drop everything and drive two hours here and two hours back in a few days. Weren’t you just telling me about this big ass project you needed to work on?”

  I took a deep breath and tried to keep from punching the wall. “Riley, she tried to kill herself. She’s never went this far before.”

  “Yeah, and she needs to understand that it isn’t going to work. The doctors called it a cry for attention.” He paused. “She can’t keep pulling stupid shit just to keep us around. We’re all grown men and we need to live our own lives. You can’t be dad for her, Nate.”

  That was like a fucking punch to the gut.

  “But Riley—”

  “No, Nate. It was different when we were kids, but Mom can’t expect us to give up our lives to live with her forever. Don’t come home. I promise I’ll tell you everything the doctors say, but you need to stay at school.”

  “Aren’t I supposed to be the big brother?”

  I stopped throwing things into my bag and sat down on my bed. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

  “Okay,” I said slowly.

  “Okay?”

  “I’ll stay at school, but if you need me or anything happens I’ll be out there in two hours. Anything. If she breathes funny you call.”

  “I know, Nate. If we need you, I’ll call. I promise. Talk to you soon, big brother.”

  I dropped my phone on the bed next to me and hung my head in my hands. A knock on my door snapped me out of my pity party. Finn opened the door and sat down on the bed next to me.

  “You look like shit.”

  “Thanks.”

  I sighed and shook my head.

  “I fucked up and I know it.”

  “I saw her running. She looked pissed, but she wouldn’t tell me what happened.” He paused for a beat, like he was deciding if he wanted to say more. “What’s going on with you Nate? You’re up and down all the time. I’ve had to stop you from losing your temper about dumb shit lately. I’m the one that goes off half-cocked, not you. I’ve never seen you like this dude. I thought it was Christian at first, but now I don’t think that’s it. Are you happy with Olivia?”

  “Olivia has nothing to do with it. She’s the only good thing in my life right now.”

  “Then what’s goin
g on?”

  “It’s family stuff. I feel like a dick because I’m here and I should probably be there, but I know that I would only be making the issue worse. Everything is fucked up, Finn.”

  “Nate, you’re talking in riddles.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I shook my head again. “I really need to go find Olivia and apologize.”

  I stood up from the bed and walked towards the door.

  “I’m going to give you some advice when it comes to my sister. Bring a peace offering. She loves anything chocolate and sterling silver roses, the purple ones.”

  I turned back to him and smiled. “Thanks, Finn.”

  “I really don’t want to have to kick your ass, so go fix things with Olivia.”

  ____

  I sat back against Olivia’s door as I waited for her to get back from wherever she had ran to after I pissed her off. My ass was starting to go numb, but I wasn’t giving up. The last time I looked at my phone I had been waiting for her for over two hours. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

  “What are you doing here, Nate?”

  My eyes snapped open and Olivia stood in front of me with her hands on her hips staring down at me. Her blue eyes blazed and it took everything in me not to pull her on my lap and kiss her. I needed her right now.

  “Hi, cupcake.”

  She glared at me through narrowed eyes. I stood up and put my hands on her hips. I took it as a good sign that she didn’t slap me or pull away.

  “Olivia, I’m sorry that I’m such a fucking dick. First off, you aren’t broken. I can’t believe you would even say that. If anything, I’m the broken one.”

  “Nate—”

  “I’m begging you to hear me out, Olivia.”

  “Two minutes,” she said pushing past me into her room. She gasped as she caught sight of her bed covered in the purple roses that Finn had told me were her favorite.