by M. Robinson
“Hello, Lilith.” She smiled with devious eyes and cocked her head to the side. “Like what you see?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Brooke, where’s Ysabelle?”
She waved her manicured finger in the air. “Now, that’s Madam to you, darling.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I argued.
“Angry is really not a good look for you. You’re getting old, Lilith, wrinkles…you know…they don’t forgive,” she mocked in a condescending tone. “Ysabelle is where she is supposed to be, as am I. Although, I don’t really like the term Madam, it’s so…old, kind of like you. I may retire it. I happen to like my name Brooke; besides, I don’t need to feel like queen, I’m already one. That’s the difference between you and me. I don’t need people kissing my ass and fearing me. Oh my…VIP is in for a change, darling.”
“If you so think—”
“I don’t think.” She shook her head and looked at her watch, glancing back up at me. “I don’t have time for this and I honestly don’t care to explain myself to you. You fucked with the wrong VIP, and if you want some answers, there’s a letter on my desk for you. It’s more of a consideration than I would have given you, but Ysa is a good soul. She may have your blood but not your heart.”
She rounded the desk and stopped right behind me. “You have twenty minutes to get the fuck off my property or you’ll be escorted out. Have a nice life.” She kissed the air twice and left.
My feet moved on their own accord and I had the letter in my hands.
Lilith,
If you’re reading this letter then I don’t have to explain to you that Brooke has taken over. When you signed VIP away to me, I signed it right back to Brooke. She wants it, she always wanted it and she will do a hell of a lot better job than you ever did. You have no say in this. I know your mind is already spinning on how to take it out from under her. The contracts are iron clad, not only that…I have more than enough documented proof of the shit you have done with VIP. Something happens to her, it’s going right to the district attorney and the Chief of Police, who you know are great friends of ours. They would love nothing more than to see your ass rot in prison. Aside from that, I no longer have any reason to hear from you, speak to you, or see you.
We’re DONE. It was NEVER about me, not once. It was ALWAYS about you. This was your legacy, not mine. You have ten more minutes to get the fuck off the property, I know Brooke seems dainty but I wouldn’t fuck with her if I were you.
In the words of the late great Madam, “Go Fuck Yourself.”
Ysa
I fell to the ground, wallowing in my own misery, the misery that I created. I never imagined that I would end up alone.
Tick tock…it was NEVER for her…
It was for me.
“Angel.”
I glanced up and there he was…
I was six and a half months pregnant and finally started showing. I was beginning to wonder if there was even a baby in there, and then one day, I woke up and there it was. I blossomed overnight. After I had given VIP to Brooke, I went on a sabbatical, so to speak. I spent time alone, just the baby and me. I went back to my hometown and showed the baby where I came from. It was silly since the baby was still in my stomach, but it helped nonetheless. It was like closing a chapter of my life that would never be reopened. I wouldn’t be like any of them. I knew that now.
I had come so far from the broken home I grew up in. To look at it with my baby inside of me was therapeutic. I would never let anyone hurt him or her. This baby was mine. I created something amazing out of pure love, and to know that it was living inside of me, nothing compared to that or even came close. The bond that I had formed with my little person was endless.
Just like my love for Sebastian.
I knew what I did was wrong. I never claimed to be a perfect person. I’m far from it. I had accepted my mistakes and all I could do was pray that he would forgive me. I needed to love myself and know who that person truly was. It took me leaving…running…to find that there was no place like home. It was with him all along. I always knew who I was when I was with him; I just didn’t realize it until it was too late. Words could not describe how messed up I was. I never came up for air. Not one time after I left VIP. I thought leaving the first time I would be miraculously healed. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was just the beginning.
I had no ties to VIP anymore, and I think a part of me always knew that something was holding me back; I just didn’t know what it was until it all came to light. It may have been one of the worst memories of my life, but it was also one of the happiest. I didn’t have to wonder who I was anymore.
I wasn’t a VIP.
I wasn’t Lilith’s granddaughter.
I wasn’t my mom’s child.
I was Ysa. I was going to be a mom. I was going to have a baby and I couldn’t have been more excited. I had a best friend who would do anything for me. And I had a sister that, no matter what, was my ride or die girl.
All that was missing was…
Sebastian.
I was just a woman in love with a man who was my everything. The baby growing inside of me was a miracle and I knew that God put him or her in my life for a reason. Everything in life happens for a reason.
And he was my reason.
Always and forever.
“All right, little person, if you would like to be absolutely adorable right now, it might help. Feel free to kick and move around inside me, especially if you hear your daddy’s voice. Maybe if he tries to touch my belly, you could kick or something,” I said, rubbing my stomach as I drove my car.
“I know that I have messed up so much of your life already and you’re not even born yet. I’m sorry about that. Your daddy should have been able to watch you grow while you’ve been inside me, but I promise to make up for it for the rest of your life. I promise to be the best mom I can be. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have no idea what I am doing. From what I have been told, though…most moms don’t. We’re supposed to learn as we go or something. I think that might be a load of…shiii…poo…I think moms just tell other moms that so that we’re not freaking out from something coming out of our vaginas, and we don’t know what to do with them once they’re real people.” I rubbed my belly some more.
“I never thought I would enjoy being pregnant. That’s been a nice surprise. You have made it pretty easy and soothing. You must get that from your daddy. He was always able to comfort me when I didn’t know I needed it. He’s the best man I know and he is going to be an amazing father to you. I wish I could tell you that we’re going to get a happily ever after, but I can promise you that I will always be here for you. No matter what. You have a lot of people who are waiting for your arrival; you’re going to have so much love around you. I promise. I love you so much. I hope you know that.”
I pulled up to the estate and there were moving trucks parked right in front. I wanted to break down and cry, but the baby kicked me. I smiled and laughed, taking it as a sign to keep going. Chance, of course, went barreling out of the car and into the house.
I swear I need to teach that dog some manners.
I followed him inside, hoping to start a new chapter in my life. I found Sebastian in his office. He was on his knees, petting Chance, and stood up when he saw me leaning on the doorframe.
“I specifically told my attorneys to advise you when I would be here so that I didn’t have to see you.”
“Right…you’re supposed to meet with the new owner.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, staring at my belly.
“I’m the new owner,” I acknowledged.
He looked back up at me. “That’s why the buyer wanted to keep all their information private.”
“Mmm hmm…”
We stood there for a few minutes, neither one of us saying anything. When he started walking over to me, I thought I was going to pass out from the anticipation of what he was going to say or do. He stopped when we were a few inches apart.
>
“Can I?” he asked, pointing to my stomach.
“Of course.”
As soon as he placed his hand on my belly, the baby kicked, and we both looked at each other wide-eyed.
“Oh my God, it recognizes you and listens to me,” I excitingly stated.
“It?” he questioned, never moving his hand from the kicking little person inside me.
“I don’t know the sex yet. I didn’t want to find out alone.”
He sadly smiled and kneeled down, placing both his hands on the side of my growing belly.
“Hey…I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to meet you. I love you so much,” he whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
My emotions and hormones were all over the place. I cried all the time about random things, and I was never a crier. Tears fell down my face; I couldn’t stop them.
And just when I thought I had a chance…we had a chance.
“Sebastian, what do you want me to do with this?” an attractive woman asked, coming out of our old bedroom.
Then it was gone…
This was the worst memory of my life.
I’ve told you since the beginning that this wasn’t a love story but a story about love. I’ve been asked several times if it was all worth it. I used to answer that question the same way—if it’s all you’ve ever known, then you don’t know what to expect.
Not anymore.
I didn’t regret one thing.
It all led me back right where I belonged.
“Ysabelle this is my assistant, Amy,” I quickly stated, taking in her face of pure panic and standing up.
“Oh,” she breathed out, relaxing immediately.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone else was here. I’m Amy,” she greeted, sticking out her right hand.
“Ysa,” she replied, shaking hands.
Hearing her say Ysa made my heart ache and she knew it.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Amy announced, leaving.
Ysabelle placed her hand on her heart. “I think I just had a heart attack,” she laughed to herself.
I tried like hell to ignore her inner turmoil. “I don’t have much more to do and I’ll be on my way,” I informed, moving back to my desk.
“Okay,” she choked, holding in her emotions and backing away.
“Why did you buy this house?” I impulsively asked, stopping her dead in her tracks.
She turned around to look at me. “It’s my home.”
“No. It was our house. Why do you want it?”
“I want to raise our baby here. I didn’t want anyone else to have it. It’s ours.”
“You’re moving back?” I questioned confused.
“I never moved away. I’m done with VIP.”
“In the papers—”
“It was never mine, Sebastian. I needed Lilith to believe that it was.”
I nodded. I had read in the papers the story of Ysabelle’s life. It was there in black and white, everything she wanted to know.
“It’s Brooke’s. I signed it over to her. My life is here.”
“What do you want to do about the baby?” I immediately interjected.
“What do you mean?”
“Ysabelle—”
“Will you stop calling me that?” She frowned. “Please,” she added.
I took in her request; I didn’t want to cause her or my child any stress. “I know you’re going to be an amazing mother, I always did. I wanted sole custody when I thought you were going to take over VIP. Since that’s changed, I will agree to joint custody.”
Her face got gloomier like she was expecting me to say something else.
What did she want from me?
“Are you staying on the island?”
“Of course. It’s my home, too. Unlike you, I never left,” I spitefully reminded without thinking. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s fine,” she sulked. “I left all the paperwork at Chances; I’ve been staying there for the last few days. It’s all signed.”
I nodded. “I’ll come by and get it this afternoon.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
I was done by early evening and made my way over to her bar. I thought about her the entire fucking day. The way she looked, her smell, her pouty lips, her growing belly, my child, our family, and her bright green eyes that had the power to bring me to my knees. I loved her. I never stopped loving her. And will always love her. I didn’t know what the future would hold, I was still pissed at her, but two wrongs didn’t make a right. We’ve both made mistakes that have cost us the other person at one time or another. I wasn’t trying to say that we were even…
However, it appeared to be so.
She was lying in the very same hammock that she was in when I first found her. Chance came and greeted me the exact same way and she followed.
She was wearing a bathing suit top and shorts, her belly was sticking out and her curly hair was flowing. She looked fucking gorgeous. It pained me to watch.
She reassuringly smiled. “We’re standing in the exact same place that you found me. Do you remember?”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
She smiled higher. “Good.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “I have fucked up so bad.” She looked down at her stomach and rubbed. “Sorry, baby,” she apologized, looking back up at me with her green eyes that showed more love for me than I have ever seen before.
“There is more to me than meets the eye, if that makes any sense. I have made mistake, after mistake, after mistake. I don’t expect you to forget what I’ve done, but maybe you could forgive…I don’t assume that you would understand; however, maybe you could listen?”
I didn’t answer or move.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” She paused. “To come from where I’ve been is like dying and being reborn again. Everything I thought to be true wasn’t. How could I move forward if I was still stuck in the past? I wanted so desperately to be with you. I still do. My mind just couldn’t catch up to my heart. I tried. I swear to you on our baby’s life, I tried. It was like a boulder was chained to my leg and I was struggling to stay above the surface, to breathe. Though, I couldn’t. I drowned. It wasn’t until I found out the truth that I was really free. I don’t know any other way to explain it to you. I never meant to hurt you. I would die before I would ever want to hurt you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Sebastian.” She placed her hands on her stomach.
“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We made something together out of our love. A love that I never thought was possible for me. I was lost until I found you. Until we found each other. I love you. You taught me the meaning of the word.”
My heart was racing and I could hear my pulse through my ears.
“Ysab…Ysa—”
She got down on her knees and I stopped breathing. She held onto my legs and looked up at me with more love than I have ever seen before.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have more babies with you. I want my home with you. You’re the air I breathe, the nourishment that I need to keep going, without you I’m not living. You’re my beginning, my middle, my ending. I’m your girl,” she choked, soaking her face with tears. She pulled a ring out from her pocket. “Marry me.”
It wasn’t a question; it was the very same words I had said to her.
I didn’t care about the past. We’ve both made mistakes and paid for them. People aren’t perfect and neither is love.
All I cared about was the future.
We had truly come full circle. It wasn’t that night at the park. Now…this…moment…it led us back to each other and that’s all that mattered. She was the other half of my heart, without it I’m incomplete.
Mine.
I got down on my knees to her level. Her eyes widened as I pulled out a diamond ring.
“I bought this the day before I found you. I actually had it in my pocket in this very spot that we’re both kn
eeling in now.”
She laughed, crying.
“What kind of a man would I be if I let you propose to me and not do it back? Marry me, Ysa.”
She tackled me to the ground and kissed me. We kissed like we were both starving for it. The baby sensed it, too, because he or she started kicking, making us both laugh.
I placed my ring on her finger, right where it belonged.
Love isn’t always perfect. It will make you cry, it will make you hurt, it could even make you bleed, bringing you down to the ground in agony. I had personally witnessed it time and time again. It’s messy, it’s chaotic, it can be ugly, or it can be fucking beautiful. Taking away your breath with each moment and memory. Our love didn’t come packaged in a bright red bow, but that didn’t make it any less real.
You have to find yourself before you can fully give yourself to another person. And we both did that for each other, except it didn’t happen at the same times. It didn’t matter…
It led us right back to where it all began.
Life is funny like that.
Our love story is far from perfect…
But it’s ours.
And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
…
Eight months later…
“Lilah, you’re going to have a very special day today. People have flown from all over the world just for you, little lady. Your brother Christian, your Aunt Julia and Uncle Anthony.”
I grinned as I heard Sebastian’s voice through the baby monitor.
“And then maybe you will cut your daddy some slack and let him play with your mommy. Oh yes!” His voice got higher. “Yes! You little pee pee blocker. How am I suppose to give you a brother or sister if you won’t let me get back inside Mommy?”
“Sebastian!” I scolded, standing in the doorway of her nursery.
He smiled, holding her up and blowing kisses on her neck. “She doesn’t understand a word I’m saying. Do you?”
She giggled.
I loved her sweet face.
“Then why did you say pee pee?” I asked, chuckling because their laughter was contagious.