The Baby Issue

by Jennifer Taylor

  Anna shivered at the thought. ‘I’m so sorry. But how did you find out that I was here?’

  ‘Eileen’s daughter came in with a patient last night. You remember that she’s a community midwife?’ She nodded and he continued. ‘She heard one of the staff mentioning your name and remembered Eileen telling her how worried everyone was because you’d disappeared. She phoned her mother and Eileen immediately phoned Adam and told him that you were here. It was all systems go after that.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really.’ He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose and smiled at her. ‘I kicked up such a fuss that Adam agreed to drive me here even though it was almost midnight. Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage it under my own steam.’ He tapped the arm of the chair and she gasped when she realised that it wasn’t just one of the ordinary hospital chairs but a wheelchair.

  Her heart twisted painfully as she gripped his hand. ‘Are you using that because you can’t walk? Tell me the truth, Ben. I need to know, not because it makes a scrap of difference to how I feel about you…’

  ‘I know it doesn’t,’ he said softly, kissing her again. ‘I know that you love me, Anna. And if that sounds smug, I have no intention of apologising for it!’

  He smiled at her with a wealth of love in his eyes. ‘I’m using the chair purely because it’s easier for me to get around at the moment. I was extremely fortunate because my spine was only badly bruised. There’s some residual stiffness but I’m having physio and that will sort it out eventually, although it’s going to be a few months before I’m completely recovered.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so glad!’ she declared, smiling at him. ‘I’ve been worried sick about you but I daren’t phone Adam and Beth to find out how you were in case they somehow tracked me down.’

  ‘You didn’t want to be found, but you aren’t sorry, are you, Anna?’ He took a deep breath and his voice seemed to grate. ‘Maybe I’ve sprung this on you too soon. I understand if you need time to think about it.’

  ‘Think about what?’ she asked, puzzled. ‘About whether or not I love you?’

  ‘That plus whether you can bear the thought of spending the rest of your life with me.’ He kissed her palm, his lips warm and tender as he touched the soft flesh. ‘I want you for ever and always, my love. But I don’t want to talk you into doing something that doesn’t feel right to you simply because I’ve caught you at a…well, at a weak moment.’

  She laughed. ‘So you’re worried in case you might be taking advantage of me, are you, Dr Cole?’ She slid her arms around his neck and drew him gently towards her. ‘It sounds as though you need a little reassurance.’

  ‘Not just a little,’ he whispered against her lips. ‘You might have to repeat the treatment at frequent intervals.’

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ she agreed, then stopped talking because there were more important things to think about. The kiss was everything they could have wished for except that it was far too short. They broke apart when an exaggeratedly noisy burst of coughing from the direction of the door alerted them to the fact that they had an audience.

  ‘I hate to interrupt,’ the young nurse told them, grinning, ‘but you have one very hungry little boy in the nursery, demanding his breakfast. Shall I fetch him in?’

  Anna smiled. ‘Oh, yes, please.’

  Ben laughed as the nurse went away. ‘Think that was our first lesson about the joys of parenthood?’

  ‘That baby comes first?’ Her face suddenly sobered. ‘You are sure that this is what you want, Ben? Having a baby is a big responsibility—’

  ‘And an even bigger joy.’ He stopped her with a kiss. ‘This is what I want, Anna, and I don’t have any doubts whatsoever. I’m probably in a better position than most people to understand all the pros and cons of being a stepparent.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked uncertainly.

  He sighed and his expression was sad all of a sudden. ‘I told you that my mother was a single parent, didn’t I? What I didn’t tell you was that she had to bring me up on her own because the man she had been going out with told her that he didn’t want anything to do with her when he found out that she was pregnant. It turned out that he was married and he had overlooked mentioning it before.’

  ‘Oh, how awful for her!’ she exclaimed, then gasped. ‘That’s why you were so shocked when you thought I might have been having an affair with a married man, wasn’t it?’ She sighed when he nodded. ‘How sad for your mother and for you, too.’

  ‘Mum didn’t tell me the truth for a long time. She always refused to talk about my father whenever I asked her.’ He sighed deeply. ‘I think she was trying to stop me feeling rejected and also she found it difficult to talk about what had happened.’

  ‘Because she was ashamed of the way she had been duped?’ Anna guessed.

  ‘Yes. It wasn’t her fault but it took her a long time to understand that she had nothing to feel guilty about. I just wish that she had told me sooner rather than bottling it all up, though. I’m sure it would have been easier for both of us to have everything out in the open rather than live with the feeling that there was some sort of dark secret lurking in the background.’

  It explained so much about the way he had reacted to her situation, Anna thought. No wonder he had been so keen to ensure that she would tell her own child the truth and not make the same mistake. ‘Did she ever meet anyone else?’ she asked gently.

  ‘Yes. I was about twelve when she met David. He was a great guy, couldn’t have been a more wonderful father to me, in fact. He nursed Mum when she was taken ill a couple of years later, until she died, then looked after me and put me through university.’

  He paused and she could see the pain in his eyes. ‘He contracted Alzheimer’s during my last year in med school. I looked after him for as long as I could, which was why I found it easier to do locum work. It meant that I could take time off whenever I needed to and didn’t have all the extra responsibility that would have come with a permanent post.’

  ‘Didn’t you have anyone to help you?’

  ‘I had a succession of carers to look after him while I was at work but they tended not to stay very long,’ he explained.

  ‘It isn’t easy, dealing with someone suffering from Alzheimer’s,’ she observed quietly, knowing that it was a massive understatement. She couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for Ben over the years and was filled with admiration for his devotion.

  ‘It isn’t. Seeing someone you love deteriorate is particularly painful,’ he agreed sadly. ‘David died last year, and it was a blessing in a way, although I miss him dreadfully.’ He took a deep breath. ‘However, recalling how he treated me—how much he loved me—makes me certain that it isn’t a question of blood ties that create a bond between a child and a parent. I shall love this baby just as much as I would love my natural children.’

  ‘I know you will,’ she said, and realised that it was true. She took a deep breath as the nurse came back, carrying the baby, and felt her heart fill with joy. Ben would love this precious child as much as she would—as much as Jo would have done, in fact.

  ‘He’s quietened down a bit. Maybe he just wanted a cuddle,’ the nurse told them. She looked expectantly from one to the other. ‘So who wants first hold, then?’

  Anna smiled at her. ‘Let his daddy hold him first.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Ben whispered, and she could hear the ache in his voice. He cradled the little boy against his chest as the nurse gently laid the baby in his arms, and Anna knew that she had never seen anything that had looked so right, so perfect as Ben looked at that moment.

  This precious baby had a father who would love and care for him for the rest of his life and she had a lifetime of love and happiness to look forward to. She felt truly blessed.

  Three months later…

  ‘Everything is arranged. The vicar is going to christen Daniel after morning service next Sunday.’

  Ben came into the room, pausing automatical
ly beside the crib where little Daniel was sleeping. Anna saw him smile as he gently drew the covers over the child. ‘He’s fast asleep now.’

  ‘So he should be after keeping us awake all night,’ Anna retorted. Her face filled with love as she looked at the baby. ‘He’s a real little monster.’

  ‘Your mummy doesn’t mean that, Daniel,’ Ben said immediately, grinning at her. ‘She loves you to bits, really.’ He looped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, kissing her swiftly on the mouth. ‘The same as I do.’

  Anna sighed because there was no doubt in her mind that he was telling the truth. Day after day Ben had proved how much he loved the little boy and she could scarcely believe that she’d had so many doubts just a few short weeks ago.

  She had moved into Lilac Cottage with the baby after she’d left hospital. She had been deeply touched to discover that Adam and Beth had decorated the nursery for her, taking it upon themselves to do the job as Ben had been unable to do it. There had been everything there that she could have wished for—a lace-trimmed crib, as well as a cot, clothes and toys and the more mundane nappies and toiletries. Beth had told her that Ben had asked her to buy whatever was needed and not worry about the cost.

  Anna had wept when she had seen all the lovely things because she had known that she would never have been able to provide them for Daniel herself. However, it wasn’t just the material support that meant so much to her but the fact that Ben was always there when she needed him. She knew that she had been incredibly lucky to find someone like him, and told him so.

  ‘I’m the lucky one,’ he said firmly. ‘I never thought that I could be this happy, Anna.’

  She rubbed her cheek against his, loving the feel of his arms around her. His back was healing slowly and as long as he didn’t try to do too much, he could walk around without any difficulty and would be returning to work the following week.

  ‘Me, too. Or is it neither?’ she whispered.

  ‘Who cares?’ He kissed her slowly, lingeringly, smiling against her mouth when he felt the shiver that rippled through her. His tone was just the tiniest bit smug. ‘Do you really want to have an in-depth discussion about the semantics of that statement?’

  ‘It depends,’ she said pertly.

  He kissed her again, even more slowly and thoroughly this time. ‘On what?’

  Anna smiled when she heard the thread of passion in his voice that he couldn’t quite disguise. ‘On what else is on offer. I mean, there’s washing to do, and I haven’t even seen the vacuum cleaner for almost a week. Then there’s gardening and—’

  ‘Enough!’ he groaned. ‘You’re making me feel dizzy, just thinking about all the work that needs doing in here.’ His smile was decidedly wicked now. ‘In fact, I think I need to have a lie down.’

  ‘Really?’ She raised her brows.

  ‘Really,’ he confirmed, kissing her again before steering her towards the nursery door. ‘Feel like joining me?’

  ‘I don’t feel sleepy, funnily enough,’ she replied, feeling her heart starting to race when she saw the expression in his eyes. That Ben wanted her as much as she wanted him wasn’t in any doubt and their love-making had been everything she could have wished for.

  ‘Neither do I,’ he said, quickly pulling her into their bedroom and closing the door. He kissed her long and hard then framed her face between his hands and looked at her. ‘I love you, Anna Clemence, but there’s just one thing that keeps worrying me.’

  She looked at him in surprise. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘That it doesn’t seem right that we should have two different surnames. That’s not what a real family should have. We should share the same name, wouldn’t you agree?’

  She felt her heart roll over when she realised what he meant. ‘Are you asking me to marry you, Ben?’

  ‘I am, although it isn’t the only thing I want to ask you.’ He dropped to one knee, catching hold of her hand and holding onto it as he smiled up at her. ‘Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’

  ‘Oh, yes!’ She felt tears of joy come to her eyes and blinked them away, then frowned. ‘But you said there was something else that you wanted to ask me?’

  ‘That’s right.’ He took a deep breath as he stood up, as though he was unsure what her answer would be to his next question. ‘I said that I wanted us to be a real family so will you let me adopt Daniel after we are married? That way he will be my son legally.’

  The tears flowed down her cheeks because there was no way that she could contain her joy any longer. ‘If it’s what you really want—’ she began.

  ‘It is.’ He pulled her back into his arms, holding her so close that she could feel the shudder of relief that ran through him when she whispered, ‘Yes.’

  ‘You don’t know how happy you’ve made me, Anna,’ he said brokenly, his voice catching. ‘To know that I’ll be your husband and Daniel’s father makes me feel as though I’m the luckiest man alive.’

  ‘We’re the lucky ones,’ she told him, standing on tiptoe so that she could kiss him, ‘because we found you, Ben.’

  He kissed her back, drawing her to him, holding her against his heart. ‘I love you, Anna.’

  ‘I love you, too,’ she told him.

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-5678-4

  THE BABY ISSUE

  First North American Publication 2001

  Copyright © 2001 by Jennifer Taylor

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