Falling With You

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  “Just don’t push me out and walk out like you did again, okay?”

  “I can’t promise that. My temper gets the best of me sometimes. I’m trying to do better about it, but I’m not great about it.”

  I kissed him again.

  “Maybe we need to talk about that, too.”

  “I was never good at therapy.”

  “I’m not good at it either, but maybe it’ll help.”

  “And then we can talk.”

  “Maybe.”

  He kissed me hard and then smiled against my lips. “You know I’m at work.”

  I pushed at him, laughing. “You’re outside of your work. But if it’s a problem, I won’t kiss you.”

  “Kiss me all you want. I kind of own the place. And I know it’s completely different than your place of business and how things work. I’m not going to be that asshole again.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I noticed that you’re not contradicting the fact that I said I was an asshole.”

  “The first step in fixing a problem is realizing you have one.”

  “Sure, whatever you say. You know, the guys kinda kicked me off the job for the night. Do you want me to take you home?”

  “I took the light rail in, so that would be nice.”

  “Let me grab my things.”

  He kissed me again, and I sighed into him, hoping this would work. Because I loved him. I loved him so much that it was scary. But I wasn’t ready to tell him. That time would come. We just needed to work out the kinks in the first part of our relationship. And then we could get to the whole love and future thing.

  “Do you want me to stay over tonight?” Aiden asked as we got into his car.

  “That would be nice. But what about Diego?”

  He cursed under his breath. “I suck at remembering him. I mean, not really, because I’m not a horrible cat parent. But I’m not good at the spur of the moment things.”

  “Well,” I squeezed his hand, “if we’re going to keep seeing each other, and if we ever spend the night at each other’s houses, we’re going to have to worry about the cats. So, maybe we should bring Diego over to my place.” I winced as I said it, and Aiden gave me a look of mock horror.

  “I don’t know about their safety.”

  “What do you mean, their safety?”

  “I worry about your four cats.”

  “Diego’s a little tiny ball of fur.”

  “He is Satan. Satan himself.”

  “That kitten is not Satan.”

  “I don’t know. If I call him Satan, he comes running right to me.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “You cannot call that kitten Satan, Aiden Connolly.”

  “Satan is as Satan does.”

  “That is not the same, you weirdo.”

  “I can’t help it if he’s demonically possessed.”

  “He’s not demonically possessed. He’s just in that kitten stage.”

  “And when does that kitten stage end? Is it going to be anytime soon?”

  “Well, I think maybe three or four years.”

  “Dear God.”

  “Well, I mean, the kid stage lasts like eighteen years, and then you have to deal with them as adults, so I guess cats are better than humans in that way, right?”

  “You say that, but then when you have kids, you’re going to have to deal with them and your cats.”

  I swallowed hard, purposely not looking at him when he was talking about kids. Because we were so not ready for that. Just because I loved him didn’t mean we needed to talk about kids right then.

  “Well, if that ever comes up, I’ll deal with it then. But first, we can try to introduce Diego to my cats. They’re actually pretty accepting of other animals, most of them anyway, I just have to be careful about not actually owning the five at once by myself.”

  “Okay, we’ll bring over little Satan.”

  “Aiden.”

  “Fine. We’ll bring over the baby not Satan, but if he tries to eat your cats, we’ll lock him in one of the bedrooms. Preferably one with padded walls.”

  “You never want to give something with claws a padded room. He’ll shred it.”

  “Okay, cement walls. And chains. Lots and lots of chains.”

  “I never knew you had such a torture side.”

  “Well, Satan brings it out in me.”

  “Diego. His name is Diego.”

  “You say Diego, I say Satan. Tomato, tomahto. We should have named him Diablo.”

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  “You haven’t had to deal with Satan.”

  “I have four cats. I think I can deal with your kitten.”

  “Famous last words.”

  Diego was excited to get in his little carrier and buckled into the backseat, and we even picked up a couple of things for Aiden so he had something to wear in the morning. I noticed that we didn’t pack him any pajamas, and I was just fine with that. I didn’t think we would be needing them.

  “Okay, are you ready?” I asked, looking over at him. He had his bag over his shoulder, and little Diego clutched tightly to his chest. We had taken him out of the carrier because he was so small that it should be fine. Okay, we really took him out of the carrier because he was adorable, and we couldn’t help it. But, still. Adorable. I opened the door and looked back at Aiden. “Wait right there. Just let me see if the cats notice.”

  I closed the door behind him, and we stood in the foyer as the four cats slowly made their way into the living room. Oh, they knew something was amiss. They knew that there was a stranger. And it wasn’t Aiden.

  Runway walked right up to me, looked behind me at Aiden, huffed, and then flicked her tail at me before walking away.

  That was a good sign. She didn’t growl, she didn’t hiss, but I was probably going to have to figure out exactly what she would do later.

  She walked back to the couch and sat on it, glaring.

  The boys came at me, both of them glaring.

  Diego let out a little mewling sound, and I winced.

  Of course, he wanted to announce his presence. There were big cats here, and he wanted to play.

  “He’s wiggling, Sienna,” Aiden whispered.

  “Oh, just be careful.”

  I tried to sing-song it, but I was a little worried. Moxie looked right up at the kitten, his eyes wide. Then he dashed out of the room, scared to death.

  “Is that very large cat scared of this kitten?”

  “He’s afraid of his own shadow sometimes. It happens.”

  Danger went right up to Aiden, rubbed his body all over his legs, and sat down, looking up at Diego.

  “Okay, bend down slowly and see if they want to sniff each other.”

  “And leave my hands in the way of claws?” Aiden asked.

  “Perhaps.”

  He slowly knelt down in front of Danger, and Danger sniffed at Diego while Diego lifted his little paw and patted Danger on the face. But there were no claws. I counted that as a win. And then Danger licked Diego’s face and sauntered away.

  “Well, he’s claimed now,” I whispered, holding back the laughter.

  “So, this is going good then?”

  I winced. “Just wait for it.”

  And then Baby came in. She ran from the stairs and slid across the hardwood floor before catching her feet and running towards us. Diego was still in Aiden’s hands, crouched, but at the commotion, Diego bit Aiden’s hand. Aiden let go. Diego was on the ground, and we were both trying to catch him, but then suddenly, Baby was on top of Diego, and they were rolling around, screaming at each other and yelling. But no claws, and no teeth. They were just playing.

  Aiden reached in to try to grab one of them, but I pulled him back.

  “No, let’s not get you bit.” He held up his hand. “He’s lucky he didn’t break the skin already,” he said, shaking his fist.

  “Well, I think Diego’s made a friend.” Danger and Baby starte
d rolling around with Diego, playing and pulling at each other’s tails but not playing too roughly. Moxie watched from the sidelines as if he wanted to play but was still a little too scared.

  Runway, however, flicked her tail as she passed all of them, ignoring them as she walked to the bathroom. Then she slammed the door in front of us, and Aiden blinked.

  “Well, I’m going to have to pay for that later,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Did she just throw a tantrum and slam the door?”

  “She does that when she wants space. However, Baby knows how to open the door, so it’s a whole thing. It’s why she had food and water and her litter box in there. Sometimes, she just wants her space.”

  “They’re like people. With personalities.”

  “Well, yes, they tend to do that.”

  Okay, I think the cats are doing fine, but let’s hang out in the living room with them for a bit.”

  “Okay, but I still fear for your cats’ lives.”

  “I don’t know, Baby can probably take them all.”

  “I’m going to put my money on Diego.” And then he kissed me hard, and I leaned into him. This felt good. Right. Like I wasn’t making mistake after mistake.

  So, I sat with my boyfriend on the couch and just cuddled into him, kissing him every once in a while, letting his hands roam over me as our cats wore themselves out before falling into a puddle—at least the four of them with Runway still in the bathroom—and I figured that was a good sign. If the cats could get along, and Aiden and I could talk to each other, maybe that meant this was the next step. Perhaps this could be a sign of the future. But I didn’t want to think too big, so I let Aiden’s lips trail along my neck, and I arched into him, just wanting to hold him. Just wanting to be with him.

  Because this was a step, one I had to treasure. And I remembered that not everyone had these steps. Not everybody made it this long.

  So, I wasn’t going to forget how blessed I was.

  Wasn’t going to forget everything that had happened.

  But I would try to forget for just a moment. And just be.

  Because it was time.

  Finally.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Aiden

  I woke up, finding myself unable to breathe. I tried to inhale and then coughed, fur in my throat. I tried to shake my head a bit, but whatever was on top of me rolled slightly so it was now on my eye. Oh, great. I was dying. Smothered by a cat.

  There was a giggle beside me, and I reached out and tried to grab Sienna, only to come up with very soft flesh. So, I gave it a squeeze.

  “Really? That’s how you’re going to wake me up?” Sienna asked, laughing.

  “Well, can’t help it, you’re nice and soft and all plump and ready. But the cat is on my face. Which cat is it?”

  “Well, if it was any cat other than Diego, you probably wouldn’t be able to breathe at all right now. But you guys are so cute. Look at my boys,” she sing-songed. I heard the click of her phone camera.

  “Are you taking a photo right now?”

  “Yep. And I know that since you’re not actually forcing the cat off you, you like him just as much as I do.”

  “I’m afraid if I push him off me, he’s going to claw my eye out or something. Sienna, get him off me.”

  “Aw, look how you whine.” But she did reach out and grab the kitten, pulling him up to her very naked chest.

  “Okay, you have a kitten on your boobs.”

  She glared at me. “He’s on my shoulder, not actually on my boobs. But I was naked. But then so are you, and then the cat was here. I don’t usually sleep naked, so I’m not used to having the cats try to sleep on me. They usually just take over the end of the bed.” She gestured towards the foot of the bed, and I looked at the fact that there were indeed four cats in various napping positions lying on the comforter.

  “No wonder you have a king-sized bed.”

  “Well, I can barely fit by myself with these four cats. And now with you and this little kitten? I’m going to need a California king I think.”

  I shook my head. “I have a king at home too, though I don’t know why.”

  “Well, if I ever bring my clowder over, you’ll know why.”

  I shuddered. “Maybe I’ll just sleep here for the time being.” She smiled at me, and I realized what I’d said. As if this would be a very future thing and would always happen. I couldn’t help but like that. A lot. I looked at her then, noticing the way her hair fell over her breasts and how she laughed at the fact that Diego was now trying to knead Danger’s back. She was amazing. A light. A goddess. And while I may have had a crush on her when we were younger, it was nothing compared to what I felt for her now. And it was weird because we had done our best to stay away from each other, to forget that we had been a part of each other for so long. This had just happened. And, yes, when I looked at her, I still saw the bruises even though they weren’t there anymore. I still saw what had finally pulled us together, an attack that never should’ve happened. But I saw the strength beneath that, too. I saw the woman that I cared about. The woman that cared about me. She made me happy. And that meant I just had to keep doing the right thing and not mess things up because, as was evidenced by what had happened the day before, I was really good at messing things up.

  “Wait, did you really take a photo of me while I was naked?” I asked, looking up at her.

  She blushed. “Yes, but the blanket’s covering you. There is some naked chest, but damn, Aiden, you have a very beautiful naked chest.” She winked, and I rolled my eyes then reached out and cupped her breast, flicking her nipple between my thumb and my forefinger.

  “You have a very lovely chest, as well.” And then I froze and looked down at the five cats who I swore were looking at me. “Um. Maybe we can kick them out?”

  She looked over and winced. “Yeah, I’ve never actually had sex in this bed before other than with myself, and even then, the cats aren’t allowed. So, yeah, maybe we can go take a shower and see what we can do there.”

  I was still reeling over the fact that she had never had sex in this bed other than with herself. I swallowed hard. “So, you masturbate a lot in here then?”

  She blushed, all the way down to her very flushed nipples. “Well, does every day count as a lot?”

  I choked on my own spit and sat up quickly, looking down at the now-tense area of my crotch. “Well, I mean I do it every day too, so I hope it’s not a lot or we probably have a problem.” I swallowed hard. “Though I haven’t actually done it in a while because, well, I’ve been with you, and you know I’m not as young as I used to be.”

  She laughed at that and reached over to kiss me gently. Then Diego moved between us, and we both scattered back, laughing.

  “I haven’t actually made myself come often without you around recently either. But I guess that can change if you want. But the cats need to be away first.” She winked and then rolled herself off the bed, dancing naked towards the bathroom. I looked at the cats, who all looked at me with suspicious gazes, and shrugged. “Well, I’m going to go follow your mother, and we’re not going to talk about what’s going on. Okay?” I asked. I realized I was talking to cats but, apparently, I was a cat guy now. It’s just what happened. So, I rolled off the bed and also walked naked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I laughed along with Sienna as we looked down at the little cat paws pushing their way under the bottom of the door, followed by little meows. “You really have no time alone, do you?” I asked, pressing my body against her and kissing her hard. My dick slid between us, pushing against her belly, and her breasts felt perfect against my chest, her nipples hard little points that I could actually feel.

  “You’re pretty damn amazing,” I whispered, kissing her again.

  “Well, you’re pretty amazing, too. And, no, I never have time alone. They’re always like that. Apparently, it’s the same with kids.” I looked at her then, imagining her round with my child, and then imagining us rais
ing him or her. I swallowed hard, trying not to think too far into the future. But then I just couldn’t help it, she was right there.

  “I never really wanted kids before. I don’t really know if I want them now.” She looked at me then, confusion on her face, but not hurt. I held my breath, trying not to say too much or think too hard.

  “I wasn’t asking to have your baby,” she said casually. I shook my head, “Well, I didn’t think you were, but I’m just saying I didn’t really think about it before because I didn’t want to think about it. With my mom and how the foster system was, it just wasn’t something on my mind. And then it had to be on my mind when Allison and I got pregnant, so I just want you to know that I don’t know what that part of my future is for me. I had to think about it once, and then I forced myself to never think about it again.”

  She cupped my face then and kissed me softly on the chin.

  “It’s okay, Aiden. We’re pretty new at this. We’re allowed to take our time. And we don’t have to actually talk about children or what we want in our futures yet.”

  “But I don’t want to lead you down the wrong path where you want kids and then suddenly I don’t know if I do or not.”

  “Aiden, we’ve only been on a few dates.”

  “That doesn’t matter. We’re not just some normal couple. We’re Aiden and Sienna.”

  “I know. And that’s why I’m actually having this conversation with you naked in my bathroom while my cats try to get in. Let’s just take it one step at a time. We’ll figure out what we want. Because I don’t know if I want kids either. I have a lot of cats as it is. But we can make that decision later. First, we have to make sure that we’re exactly what we want. And that’s going to take time. Right?” I watched her eyes search my face and then nodded.

  “Time.” I cleared my throat. And then kissed her again.

  “Speaking of time, I know you have to get to work soon, so I better be quick.” And then I went to my knees and made sure she woke up exactly the way we both wanted. With her in my mouth, and frankly, in my heart.