Denouncement

by E A Foley

  “So Gavin told me this dream, and I realized I had a dream about making it rain the night Iris told me I could do magic. I thought it was related to the cold weather of the time, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

  “Thorin told me his dream, and we decided to start with rain. Messing with the ocean seemed too advanced for a first try, so, well, here. Let me show you.”

  Iris felt Gavin open himself to the flows of power surrounding them and draw deeply upon them. She closed her eyes to concentrate on his request in minute detail. Someone turned the faucet on for a second and water pooled in the sink’s basin. Gavin heated the surface of the water. The room became thicker, moister. He gathered all the moisture into a large ball close to the ceiling and slowly brought it together. The moisture condensed further and further until it formed one heavy, single ball. The sound of water hitting the tub caused Iris to open her eyes. It was raining in their shower.

  “That was amazing!” Violet and Aerianna exclaimed at the same time.

  “Do you need to start with a body of water every time?” Iris asked.

  “We don’t think so,” Thorin replied. “I’ve been able to make it rain from moisture in the atmosphere I’ve gathered together, but Gavin hasn’t. I seem to better at locating and bringing the tiniest drops of water together. Perhaps that’s because I’ve already spent time manipulating water. I bet Gavin will get there with practice. It is easier with a water source though.”

  “A lot easier,” Gavin agreed. “So, you guys want to try it out?” he offered the three waiting women.

  Iris let Violet and Aerianna try before taking her turn. Neither of her high school friends managed the task after several attempts. Their failures gave Iris an idea as to achieving success.

  She took her time. Focused on completing the task slowly and managed a small rain cloud and subsequent drops on her first try. It brought a smile to her face and got her brain thinking about how to form a larger storm. She drew more power into herself and searched out every drop of water she could find throughout the apartment and readied a request.

  “What are you doing?” Thorin yelled before Iris could release any power into her request. “You’ll flood the place if you condense that much water for rain!”

  Iris stopped to analyze what she’d connected to. She hadn’t just searched out all the water in the apartment but had gone beyond her apartment to the entire complex. Including the pool. Her heart stopped. She had to swallow twice before she could mutter, “Sorry.” Iris released the power she held back into the Earth. “Excuse me,” she said and left the bathroom for her own room.

  Knowing she couldn’t lock Aerianna out of their shared room, Iris locked herself in the master bathroom instead. She rested her forehead against the door and expelled a large breath. Her power was growing too fast. There was some kind of need within her to do more—try more—and it was starting to take over her actions. It scared her. A lot.

  Iris looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw the amber of fear reflected back at her. She grit her teeth and made up her mind. She had to stop using magic. It was her only choice. The only way to keep herself from injuring someone she cared about or worse.

  Iris avoided magic as much as possible for the rest of the quarter. And her roommates to an extent. She signed up for several away trips with the band. Spent hours on end studying in the library, at Matt’s, and even a few times with Thorin. Though all her study sessions with Thorin ended with her leaving in a huff over some idiotic thing he’d said. She even covered a few shifts for some of her lab mates in an attempt to keep her mind from wandering back to magic and all the endless possibilities she hadn’t imagined or tried yet.

  Even with how busy she was, Iris couldn’t keep magic out of her life. She refrained from using it in her day-to-day life and rarely used it during the training sessions she held in October and November. A spurt here and there when she felt like she was about to explode was all she allowed. Thankfully, her roommates didn’t notice her lack of magic use and therefore there were no awkward conversations to be had.

  At first, it was extremely difficult. Iris almost felt like she was going through magic withdrawal. She’d find her subconscious reaching out to the surrounding flows when her mind was relaxed or drifting off to sleep. Every time she realized what she was doing, she got angry at herself. Every other week she had to beat her subconscious into control as she found herself performing some task or forming a request she hadn’t meant to. By the time the quarter ended, she didn’t even miss using magic. Perhaps the stress of trying not to use magic kept her from missing it.

  In keeping with her desire to limit her magic use, Iris tried not to hold any training sessions over the winter break. Her friends would have none of it. They compromised and had two sessions rather than the four or five people wanted. By the end of the second practice, Iris was fully engrossed in magic again and more pissed off than she thought possible. She stayed behind and vented her anger at using so much magic with more magic.

  Realizing the stupidity of her actions didn’t occur until she sat panting from her exertions and couldn’t perform any more magic. It appeared magic was like exercising—in order to keep up your strength, endurance, and abilities, you had to work out consistently. It also sent Iris on a one hour drive throughout the hills surrounding Pacific once she regained enough strength to form a doorway home. She’d needed every minute of her drive and her music to pull her mind and anger back in check.

  Three days before winter quarter began, Iris made her way back to Davis and the sanctuary of her apartment. She once again vowed to purge herself of magic. No one deserved to have as much power as she could. Matt helped her out by inviting her over for a pre-quarter review session. It turned into dinner and a movie on his couch where he fell asleep and she slipped out after giving him a kiss on the cheek. She wondered if this was what normal felt like. It was a lovely sensation she didn’t want to let go of.

  “Hey, you took off without saying goodbye last night,” Matt chided as he took a seat next to Iris in their Japanese class.

  “I didn’t want to wake you and I had an eight o’clock class this morning.”

  “Ah, well, next time wake me. It’s probably better for me to sleep in my bed rather than on the couch.”

  “Good point,” Iris smiled.

  “I had fun last night. We should have more non-studying nights. I feel like we never get to just sit and talk anymore.”

  “There’re social nights at your place and breaks between classes at the coffee house.”

  “Yeah, but there’re always other people. I like it when it’s just you and me. How about another one of those this weekend? There’s no way you’ll be too swamped with homework by then.”

  “I guess I can’t argue with that. Sure!”

  “Ohayō gozaimasu,” their sensei announced as she took her place at the front of the room.

  As one, the class rose, said, “ohayō gozaimasu,” in greeting, bowed and took their seats once more for the start of class.

  It was a good thing Iris had Matt’s to look forward to that weekend because the weather took a turn for the worst and it poured for three days straight. Her official and unofficial roommates took advantage of the already rainy weather to practice forming rain clouds of their own. Iris grated her teeth at the constant deluge of magic running throughout their apartment. It didn’t help that the one time she tried creating a small rain cloud of her own, her mind once more tried to draw in all the water it could find. She’d needed a full five minutes to release the power she’d gathered once she realized what her subconscious had done. The stabbing sensation at the back of her neck didn’t help calm her down.

  The lack of control terrified Iris, but she didn’t feel she could talk to any of her friends about it. For one, she didn’t want to worry them. Besides, they didn’t have her strength and innate ability to make most things work on the first try. Her sleep suffered. She was afraid she’d pull in power as she slept and
destroy the apartment somehow. The only upside was it kept the mansion dream at bay.

  Iris did the only thing she could think of; she started spending more and more time away from her friends. Magic users and non-magic users alike. She took solitude on their beach island in the hopes the warm weather would help lift her spirits and get her mind and power back on the right track. Even on a deserted island, she couldn’t get away from magic.

  Chapter 18

  “Hey!”

  A voice called behind Iris as she stared out to sea Tuesday afternoon. She turned around and saw Morrigan walking toward her. Shoes in hand rather than on her feet.

  “Hi,” Iris said and turned back to the sea.

  “What’s up?” Morrigan asked as she joined Iris on the warm sand.

  Iris shrugged.

  “Just so you know, this is my retreat away from reality when it becomes too much or I need a place to practice.”

  “Sorry,” Iris wiped her hands of sand and got up. “I’ll go. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

  Morrigan grabbed Iris’s sleeve and pulled her back to the beach. “I didn’t say you had to leave. I was merely pointing out why I’m here. And giving you an opportunity to talk about why you’re here.”

  “Reality sucks.”

  “I thought as much. Zarina said you’ve been off the last few months. Want to talk about it?”

  Iris shrugged.

  “Does it have something to do with why you didn’t want to have any training sessions over the break? Or why you only used minuscule amounts of power when showing us stuff?”

  Iris took in a large, slow breath of air and released it. “Yeah,” she admitted.

  “Are you afraid of something?”

  Iris nodded.

  “Your own strength?”

  Iris nodded again. She found it easier to let Morrigan guess rather than voice her concerns.

  “And you really believe not using magic is the answer?”

  Iris shrugged. “It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. My subconscious keeps taking over and I find myself full to bursting almost every time I try to use magic. Especially when it’s something new. Not to mention that my mind pulls flows into my being when it’s relaxed or on the verge of sleep. I figured not using magic would solve the problem.”

  “Did it ever occur to you that you may not be using enough magic?”

  “No,” Iris said slowly and looked at Morrigan for the first time since she’d joined Iris on the beach. “You think I’ve got it backward?”

  Morrigan shrugged. “It makes sense to me. Shutting yourself off doesn’t seem to work, so the other logical option is you’re not using magic often enough. Maybe it’s something we all need now, not just enjoy. Though, you don’t always enjoy using magic, do you?”

  “No,” Iris admitted. “It scares me. At least, I scare me. My power. The thought I could destroy this island if I wanted to. Well, most of it—probably. No one should be this powerful.”

  “I agree with you, but as you’ve proven, it’s not something you or any of us can turn off. Even if we try.”

  Something in the way Morrigan said the last part sparked Iris’s interest. “Have you tried to stop using magic as well?”

  “Yeah. I tried really hard second-semester last year. You guys were all at Davis and I felt I couldn’t hang out with people if I used magic all the time, so I stopped. I made it about a month before I used it without thinking. I accidentally started a fire in the dorms. No one knew it was me, but I could have hurt someone. Hell, I could’ve hurt a lot of people if it had been the middle of the night rather than the dinner rush. Now I come here at least once a week to use magic in a safe place and to keep myself from using it at school consciously or unconsciously. It’s worked so far.”

  “Morrigan, I had no idea. You didn’t tell us.”

  “I mentioned it to Zarina and asked her not to tell anyone else. I was embarrassed, to say the least.”

  “Well, I’m glad you told me. So, once a week is enough for you?” Iris decided a subject change would be the best idea. Especially since she wasn’t sure what else to say about the fire.

  “It seems to be for me, but I’m a lot less powerful than you are. I’m sure you’ll have to come more often. How long have you been able to go without using magic at all?”

  “Two weeks tops. And that’s only if I’m vigilant at keeping my subconscious under control and constantly think about not using magic. It’s exhausting.”

  “I get it. I’ve been there, but I don’t get to that point until after a month of not using magic. The fact that you get there in less than two weeks tells me you definitely need to use it more often. Or at least exhaust yourself from using magic more often. I’ve found that works the best for me. I come here, practice everything until I can’t draw in any more flows, then stare out at the ocean until I feel relaxed. It’s amazing. Like I’ve just had a great sparring session or a difficult workout.”

  “That makes a lot of sense. Thanks, Morrigan. I think I’ll give that a shot. I’m not sure it’ll do a lot for my frustration, though.”

  “You’d be surprised. We could always meet once a week for a sparring session. We haven’t added those to magic training in a while. I could teach you more advanced staff fighting techniques.”

  “What about some katana training as well? Could you teach me that?”

  “Sure,” Morrigan smiled. “But we’re starting you with a bokken, not a katana.”

  “Fair enough. And probably a very good idea.” Iris smiled back. “So, want a lesson?”

  “You game for that?”

  “Yeah, actually, I am. You’ve really helped me out and I want to return the favor. Is there anything you need more practice with or anything you haven’t been able to master?”

  “Rain. I can’t form a drop.”

  Iris had to swallow a sigh before saying, “Sure thing. Show me what you can do and I’ll see what pointers I can offer.”

  Twenty minutes later Morrigan formed her first rain cloud. It was no bigger than her fist, but it produced rain and put a huge grin on Morrigan’s face.

  “Thanks!”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Okay, now it’s your turn.”

  “Morrigan, I—”

  “Don’t you dare say you can’t,” she cut Iris off. “We already discussed this. Use your time here to perform tons of magic. Powerful magic. Push yourself the way you push us. You’ll feel amazing afterward. I promise.”

  “Okay, okay, okay. I’ll give it a shot. You may get wet,” she sighed and opened herself to the flows she’d been trying to keep at bay.

  Iris searched out the surrounding water vapor—which there was a lot of since they were on an island—until she was at her limit. With the request for the vapor to condense firmly in her mind, Iris funneled the power she held into her request. She closed her eyes to increase her concentration and began a cycle of pulling power into her being while releasing it into her request.

  In less time than she thought possible, a coolness descended as a cloud shaded her from the sun. Still, she kept up her loop of magic in and out as she hadn’t condensed all the vapor her mind initially identified. As Iris came to the end of what she’d located, her mind tried to search out more water vapor. She started to shut that part of her mind off when Morrigan spoke.

  “Keep going if you can.”

  Iris followed the advice. The temperature dropped further. Before Iris realized it, she’d doubled the amount of vapor she was connected to. She condensed it. Searched out vapor for the third time. Needed to widen her search. Once she had her third batch of vapor condensed, her mind seemed satisfied. Iris focused on the already condensed water vapor. Formed it into denser clouds until a light mist fell. She concentrated for a few more seconds. Rain splattered on the top of her head and across the beach.

  Large, warm drops soaked her hair and shoulders before Iris opened her eyes and looked at what she’d created. It wasn’t a single cloud, bu
t rather a mini rain-storm twice the size of the island. Morrigan formed a barrier of air like an umbrella and they enjoyed a twenty-minute rain shower in silence. Exhaustion weighed Iris down, but as Morrigan said—she felt better than she had in months. There was something about being this fatigued that was rejuvenating.

  As the raindrops lessened in size and frequency, the outer clouds dissipated. When the center of the storm could only spurt a few drops here and there, Morrigan released the barrier over their heads and fell back onto the sand.

  “I’ve never kept anything going for that long,” she panted at the now blue sky.

  “Thanks,” Iris told her. “For keeping us dry and for all the advice. And making me use every drop of power I could. You’re right, I feel great. Super tired, but great.”

  “Glad to hear it. Me too. Same time next week?”

  “That’d be wonderful! But can we start with bokken training first? I don’t think I could use this much power and then have a weapons lesson. I feel like I won’t be able to get up as it is.”

  “Give it a few more minutes. You’ll be fine. But yes, we can start with some bokken work first.”

  “You want to come over for dinner?”

  “Not tonight. I have a test to study for.”

  “All right. You should come over more often. Just pop into the living room whenever you feel like hanging out or whatever. We miss you and seeing you at training sessions isn’t often enough.”

  “Thanks. I think I’ll do that.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.” They sat in silence for another few minutes before Iris let out a large sigh. “Back to reality?”

  “Back to reality,” Morrigan agreed. “I suggest you come back and do this again in three or four days. If you get to the point where your subconscious is trying to perform magic again, you’ve waited too long.”

  Iris nodded, got to her feet and formed a doorway home. “Thanks again,” she waved to Morrigan as she stepped through to her living room.