Out of The Box Regifted

by Jennifer Theriot

  He laughs, as he leans in and playfully nips my ear, “Mmm sure do.”

  I look at him and giggle, “That was fucking incredible.”

  Looking pleasantly surprised, he takes one of my hands and winks. “Happy to serve you, ma’am. That was pretty awesome.” He leans back on his hands and cocks his head to the side, grinning, “Slinging that f-bomb around...I like it.”

  “You started it.” I tease. “I sound like Todd, don’t I?”

  I look at his long bent legs, then my eyes move down to his feet. He’s got the most amazing feet. He’s got a questioning look on his face, as he watches me staring at them. I shake my head smiling. “You’ve got the most beautiful feet. Oh my God…”

  He laughs, as he plays footsie with me. “Seriously? You like my feet?”

  “Oh you have no idea, your feet are incredible!”

  He cackles, as he looks at them, “No one’s ever said my feet were beautiful. I hope that’s not your favorite part of me.”

  I lean over him and with a goofy look on my face, drape my arms over his shoulders. “I have too many favorite parts of you. Your feet are only one of them…”

  The warm water of the shower is still running, and I wonder how we even still have hot water. My inner self is telling me how much fun it would be, to just ditch Patti and stay in this room all night screwing. I laugh.

  “What’s so funny, Sunshine?”

  “I was just thinking we could call Patti and cancel dinner. You know, say something came up…”

  He rolls his eyes, and shakes his head. “You’re too much. We’ll see if something comes up later though, if you want. Wink wink.”

  I get a text from Patti. ‘I’m fixing to come over’. I laugh as I read it. Ash asks why I’m laughing, so I show him the text.

  “Look, she says she’s fixing to come.” I giggle.

  He taps my nose, “Haha that’s funny, but you just wrote the book on that, my love.

  We both laugh and get dressed to go meet up with my long lost best friend.

  I’m sitting in the bathroom, with my makeup strategically lined up on the counter. Wanting to look extra special tonight, I opt to put on more makeup than usual, even lining the insides of my eye with black pencil, to accentuate them. Ash walks into the bathroom in his boxers, grinning, holding up two button down shirts - one on each index finger. With a boyish look on his face, he asks, “Which one?”

  “Definitely the blue. It shows off your gorgeous eyes.” I give him a little wink. “Oh, and that’s another thing I love about you.”

  He rolls his eyes, and walks back into the bedroom. I tilt back in my chair and call out, “Oh and the dark wash jeans, please.” He sticks his head back into the room, and gives me a salute.

  “Yes boss. Oh - and are topsiders okay?”

  “Yes siree. Perfect.”

  I know that Patti will be dressed to kill, so I decide on a pair of dark skinny jeans, with a sheer peasant blouse and strappy sandals.

  As I’m getting dressed, Ash is on the bed, propped on his side, watching me.

  “So tell me about Patti. What’s she like?”

  “Well, let’s see, she’s got long blonde hair, at least it was long the last time I saw her. She’s probably 5’7” thin, very pretty and wears a ton of makeup. Oh and since I’ve known her, she’s always had fire engine red nails, and always in a pair of high heels.” I laugh.

  “Ummm, I’m not really into blondes.” Ash jokingly says.

  I have a pouty look on my face, “Well, I’m sure glad. I don’t want my man looking at another woman. I hope that I’m all the woman you need.”

  He pulls me back on the bed, and looks into my eyes, “Rest assured you’re all the woman I’ll ever need. No worries there, hon. I’m all yours.”

  I get a text that she’s in the lobby.

  I take a deep breath. “She’s here.” I tell Ash.

  “Ya ready, Sunshine? Let’s go meet Patti. How do I look?” He turns his head to the side, as he looks in the mirror and runs a brush through his hair.

  I kiss his cheek, “You look to die for, handsome.”

  As we step off the elevator, I spot her confidently sitting in a chair, with her long legs crossed, talking on her phone. She looks gorgeous! She’s wearing skinny jeans, and a very sexy black top with stiletto heels. So positively Patti.

  Ash whispers in my ear, as we walk towards her. “Perfect description, Sunshine...right down to the red nails.”

  She sees us, waves excitedly, gets up and runs over to me. “Liv, Good God. You look fabulous. I love your dark hair. Everything about you is...in love. Turn around - let me look at you.” She smiles a flirty smile when she sees Ash. “And who is this handsome debonair man?”

  Ash looks uncomfortable, and slightly embarrassed.

  I laugh, “Patti, this is Ash Harper, my fiancé.”

  He extends his hand and she won’t have it. She gives him a hug. “Ash, so nice to meet you. I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, and I’m so happy for you and Olivia. She’s my best friend, you know.”

  “Patti, yes of course, and I’m so glad to meet you. Liv’s told me nothing but good things about you, as well. Please, let’s get into the car and head out to dinner. I’m famished. Liv’s worn me out today looking at condos.”

  He winks at me, and I know exactly what he means. I possessively put my arm through his as we walk towards the car, and whisper, “You’re an amazing lover.”

  He leans into me and kisses my ear, “Aww shucks thanks.”

  We arrive at the restaurant, and Ash orders drinks and appetizers for us. Patti is chatting up a storm, filling me in on everything that’s happened since I moved. Ash and I are looking into each other’s eyes, while listening to Patti ramble on. I slip off my sandal and run my foot up the leg of his jeans under the table. I look across at him, and with his elbow on the table, he puts his hand over his mouth, grinning discreetly. He takes off his shoe and we get a little game of footsie going. I’m trying so hard to keep from laughing, and Patti looks at me confused. “What’s so funny?”

  I give her a fake smile, “I was just thinking back to how much shit we used to get into.”

  Ash pretends to cough. Patti’s face lights up, “Yeah, we did get into some shit with our husbands, didn’t we?” She gets an embarrassed look on her face. “All the trouble we got into, didn’t involve our husbands… That was a bad choice of words…” Ash holds his hand up, in a no big deal fashion.

  He excuses himself and goes to the restroom. Patti capitalizes on his absence, and implores me.

  “Shit Olivia he’s freakin Adonis! Is he for real?”

  I laugh loudly, “Yes, Of course he’s the real deal. He’s the full enchilada.”

  She gets a serious look on her face, “So, I guess it must have been really hard with the split - after having just moved and all?”

  I shake my head, “Patti, I was devastated. Never in a million years did I think he’d been having sex with other women, much less find someone he wanted to divorce me for. What a fool I was.”

  She smiles, as she takes my hand, “Well, I’d say you fared pretty damn good, my friend. Ash is so sexy.” She exclaims.

  “Sexy isn’t all there is to it, Patti. He loves me and makes me feel like a complete woman. He’s the ultimate perfect man.”

  “So, the kids like him?” She asks cautiously.

  I smile, as I take a sip of my wine. “The kids adore him, and his kids love my kids. It’s indescribable how our families just meshed.”

  About that time, my sexy man is back at the table.

  He puts his hands affectionately on my shoulders, before he takes his chair, “You girls need another drink?” He politely asks.

  Ash orders for us, and we have a divine steak dinner. We chat about Chicago, about what Ash does for a living, and about the condo we’ve found. Patti seems eager to hear all the news of our second home in Houston, and I can tell she’s happy for me. I give her a blow by blow abou
t the specifics of the unit; what we plan to do in the way of renovations and updates, and tell her that Marcus will be my designer.

  I ask her about Walt. She makes a silly face, “Walt, well, Walt is Walt. He still works all the time. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to have this lifestyle, if he didn’t work his ass off. Haha!” I look at Ash and he rolls his eyes. I can tell he’s ready to leave.

  “So, Patti, I was thinking we could go back to the hotel and have a few drinks in the lounge. Would you care to join us?” Ash asks, thinking she’ll decline.

  “I’d love to!” She exclaims.

  Ash secretly shrugs his shoulders, and I mouth ‘I’m sorry’

  The car is brought around, and our driver is ready to take us back to the hotel.

  Once at the hotel, Patti, Ash and I have drinks in the lounge. After a few rounds, the conversation lags. Patti yawns and looks like she’s ready to head home. Ash asks if she is ok to drive, and she tells us both that she’s fine.

  The valet brings Patti’s sporty black Lexus convertible around, and Ash makes sure she’s safe and buckled up to head home. “Patti, please let us know when you’re home safe.” I tell her.

  “Will do, guys. Thanks so much for dinner and drinks tonight. I enjoyed it so much. Ash, it was so nice meeting you, and I’m so happy for the both of you. This whole thing with Alan was totally unexpected, but you’re the closest thing to perfect for Olivia, and I can see that you guys are so in love. It makes my heart happy, to know that my best friend has such a good man. Olivia, I’ll come pick you up tomorrow around…11-ish?”

  I shake my head, we all hug and Patti waves through the roof as she drives off.

  When we arrive in our room, the bed is turned down and there are chocolates on our bed.

  Ash is taking off his clothes and remarks, “I think tonight went well, don’t you think?”

  “Mmm. I think so. Were you nervous about meeting her?”

  “Not really. I knew if she was a friend of yours, that I’d like her. She’s really nice.”

  We have another glass of wine and we get ready for bed. Ash pats the bed motioning for me to lie by him. He is shirtless and wearing a pair of silk boxers, sitting low on his waist. The sight of him makes me hungry to be next to him. I move close to him, our fronts facing, and he grins. “So what made you wanna play footsies at dinner? I liked that.”

  I giggle. “Me too. I had a great day today, Ash.”

  He puts my hair behind my ear and kisses my nose. “Yeah, today was pretty awesome, Sunshine. I’ve got an early tee time and you’re hanging with Patti tomorrow, so let’s get some sleep. You wore me out today.” He turns me on my side, and lovingly swats my butt.

  Soft, easy listening jazz music is playing on the radio, as he snuggles in behind me, his arm resting on my hip, as we fall asleep. Early the next morning, my man is up and already has coffee delivered from room service. He’s reading the paper, when I wake at seven.

  “Mornin Sunshine!” He says, as he’s pouring me a cup of nice hot coffee.

  I yawn, stretch and breathe in. “Mornin to you too. Mmm the coffee smells great.”

  I can’t wait to have lunch with Patti and catch up on things. It’s funny how we used to talk every single day without fail, but since I moved, things changed.

  ***

  Ash and Kellan have an eight o’clock tee time, so he’s showered, dressed and ready to leave. He looks so handsome in his khaki shorts, a navy striped golf shirt and wearing a sporty visor, with his gray hair still wet from his shower. I can’t quit admiring him.

  He holds his arms out, grins, and asks, “Ta da! How do I look?”

  “Good enough to eat.” I say, with a salacious look on my face.

  He puts his arms around me and picks me up, “On second thought, maybe I’ll tell Kellan I’m not feeling well and…” He’s interrupted by a knock on the door.

  He gets a pouty look on his face, “Oh well, guess I’ll go play golf.”

  I open the door and Kellan is complete smiles. “Hey Mom! Can I borrow your guy for the day?”

  I cackle, “You betcha can. Have a good game.”

  He playfully slaps Ash on the shoulder. “Ready Tiger?”

  As they’re walking out, I call to Ash, “We’re going to dinner with Lainey and Kel still, right?”

  He gives me a thumbs up, “Yeppers! Reservations are already taken care of. The car will be here to pick us up at seven.”

  “Car?” I ask confused, “I thought we rented a car.”

  He laughs, “Sunshine, one thing I don’t wanna get in Houston is a DWI...for the price of hiring a driver, versus attorney’s fees. Ya see where I’m going here?”

  I shake my head and laugh. “Always thinking ahead.”

  Patti picks me up at 11. She’s in a short short skirt, with a cute denim jacket and cowboy boots. I think to myself, that her outfit looks like something a girl Lainey’s age would wear. She’s my age, for God’s sake. I mean, she can pull it off with her figure, but geez!

  I, on the other hand, am dressed conservatively in a pair of jeans, with a crisp white blouse and a navy blue blazer, with my Tory Burch flats. I laugh to myself, and wonder what people must think looking at the two of us together. We both decide on The Cheesecake Factory, one of our favorite lunch places when I lived here.

  We’re taken to our table and order a mimosa to start. We toast our glasses to friendship, and talk about the rest of our day.

  Patti gleefully exclaims, “After lunch, let’s go shopping. I’ve got Walt’s credit card and I’m sure you’re on a non-existent budget, so let’s put a dent in their wallets.” I shake my head.

  “Why Patti Baker, you haven’t changed a bit!”

  We order our lunch, and once the food is brought, Patti prods me for information about Alan and me. I fill her in on the basic facts, not really wanting to elaborate. She makes a comment, which hits me like a napalm bomb. Her words explode in my ears, “Liv, never in a million years did I think Alan would actually leave you for her.”

  “Huh?” I ask with a look of shock. I haven’t told her what happened in full detail, yet she seems to know everything. The wind is sucked out of me, and I struggle to find the right words to respond. I can feel my heart beating really fast.

  I lean across the table and look her dead on in the eyes. “Patti wait, are you telling me you actually knew Alan was cheating?” Realizing that her mouth has just gotten her in trouble, she retreats back into her chair and struggles nervously.

  The guilty look on her face tells me she did know all along. Suddenly, I feel like the biggest fool in the world, as she tries desperately to change the conversation by asking about Lainey and the baby. I hold up my hand to stop the conversation, and stare her straight in the eye reiterating, this time slowly and authoritatively.

  “Patti, I need to know. Did you know Alan was cheating? Did you know this and not tell me?” Suddenly my heart falls, and my stomach aches. I can tell by the look on her face that she knew. She doesn’t even have to answer. She knew it all along.

  “Patti, tell me. Jesus Christ. You’re my best friend, or at least I thought you were. What the hell did you know?” My voice cracks, as I fight the tears.

  “Liv, look. I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to promise me this won’t affect our friendship. You’ve gotta promise me, please. I know you’re upset, and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  I pound my fist on the table, startling her. “You’d goddamn better spit it out, and NOW!” I’m hurt and fuming mad. My face is hot and my heart is beating faster. People are staring at us, and Patti looks embarrassed.

  She takes a deep breath, popping her knuckles. “Whew. Okay hon. I’m gonna tell you what I knew.” She leans across the table and speaks in a hushed voice. “There was a week when Walt was in New York on business, and Alan just happened to be in town also. They met up for dinner, and Alan brought this lady, a co-worker with him. Walt said he sensed by the way they were acting, that they weren’t just co-w
orkers. He said they acted more like a couple. Alan told him about her, and Walt told me. He said they’d been seeing each other for a while, and Walt swore me to secrecy.”

  I’m shaking my leg, and pinching the top of my thighs under the table, so I won’t break down in tears as I’m hearing this. My best friend knew all along, and didn’t so much as tell me. I’m devastated beyond words, as she continues.

  “Liv, honey you’ve got to understand that Walt asked me not to say anything, and I didn’t. I mean, what good would it have done if I told you anyway? It would have just hurt you, and I didn’t want to hurt you, Liv.”

  With a look of disgust on my face, I point my finger in her face, “So you knew, and didn’t feel our friendship meant enough to let me know?”

  She takes a defensive tone, “Look Liv, what would you have done, if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you have told me?”

  “Patti, I can’t believe you would even ask that! You’re my friend. I absolutely positively would have told you—hell yes, I’d have told you. What kind of person do you think I am?” I look up at the ceiling, thinking of what to say next. “Wouldn’t you have wanted to know if Walt was cheating on you? Wouldn’t you, goddamn it?”

  She looks contrite and unsure.

  Licking her lips, she responds. “Walt is my husband, and he asked me not to say anything. I didn’t want to start trouble. You’ve got to believe me. I thought it would pass, that it was just an affair. Once Alan was transferred, I thought the affair would end. You guys would start over, and there’d be no harm done. That’s why I didn’t say anything.”

  I muster a disgusted laugh, “Well Patti my dear, the affair didn’t end, and I can see now that you were never a true friend. I guess I gave you too much credit.” I close my eyes and hold my finger up. “Tell you what… I’m gonna get up from this table and leave now.” I reach in my purse, grab some bills, and throw them on the table. “This should cover the tab.”