Equal Access

by A. E. Branson

  Was God finding any of this funny yet?

  When Shad neared the house he recognized Karl’s gray pickup parked in the driveway. His stomach knotted and fluttered, and for a split second Shad considered driving past the home. His reaction was inappropriate, Shad tried to tell himself. Karl had never done a thing to him to elicit such trepidation. Then again, this was just the sort of incident that might get Karl sufficiently provoked.

  As Shad steered his truck into the driveway to park it behind the Wekenheiser pickup, he saw Karl standing on the porch. The man seemed to be watching him, and he also looked as though he might be talking on his cell phone. When Shad stepped out of the truck he saw Karl lower the phone and clip it back to his belt. The two men approached each other.

  “Glad to see you here, Shad.” Karl smiled as he descended the porch steps.

  Shad still wasn’t sure if he should take Karl’s greeting at face value, even though his uncle/father-in-law had never done a single unkind thing to Shad before.

  “I’m ... surprised to see you here.” Shad glanced around, half expecting to discover that Karl kept a spare bratwurst in his pocket in conjunction with a secret army of starving dachshunds.

  The two men came to a stop to face each other just a few yards away from the steps of the porch.

  “You can’t go in the house.” Karl looked more solemn. “The sheriff still has it taped off.”

  “I came to feed the turkeys and Sadie.”

  “Beatcha to the turkeys, Bub.” Karl frowned slightly. “You don’t know about Sadie, do you?”

  Shad regarded him with a sense of both inquiry and frustration. “All the police did was ask me questions. They didn’t tell me a single thing about what happened here.”

  “Of course they didn’t.” Karl nodded. “Wanted to see if you’d let a detail slip that only somebody who’d been here last night would know.”

  “So ... you don’t think ... I had something to do with last night?”

  Karl smirked. “Of course I don’t. That’s the whole reason you aren’t swinging upside and naked from a honey locust tree about now.”

  Shad drew a deep breath inspired by both relief and the need to calm his nerves. “What happened to Sadie?”

  “She was shot, too. And it killed her.”

  Shad felt a welling of yet more sadness inside him. He lowered his head and stared at the ground.

  “Sheriff hauled her off for evidence,” Karl continued. “Luckily I got here just as they were finishing up their investigation of the crime scene. I told the sheriff I wanted her body back after they got what they needed. I’m gonna bury her on the farm.” Karl’s voice momentarily became just a little hoarse. “She might’ve saved Dulsie’s life.”

  Shad looked back up at Karl, his gaze meeting the man’s eyes for a few seconds. He didn’t think he had ever heard Dulsie’s father get choked up before.

  “Saved her life?”

  Karl nodded, and took a deep breath himself before continuing in a normal voice. “Dulsie said she heard the dog barking, so she went out on the stoop back there with the rifle. Then Sadie suddenly became ferocious and started charging whoever was down there near the road.” Karl nodded toward the front corner of their yard. “That’s when he shot Sadie. Now, that right there tells me you weren’t the one skulking around with a gun.”

  Shad was appreciative for the information, especially from someone as astute as Karl. “How so?”

  “That dog was damn smart. She not only recognized people, she recognized vehicles. She never barked at anybody who wasn’t a stranger. So that means she wouldn’t bark at you.” Karl looked more pensive. “In a way, Sadie wound up being too smart for her own good. She was barking at a stranger, and Dulsie came out ... that must be when he aimed for her. The dog recognized an aggressive move on his part, so that’s when she got aggressive.”

  A chill settled over Shad. “So he shot Sadie instead.”

  Karl nodded again. “Dulsie acted instinctively. She told me she could remember swinging her rifle toward the flashpoint, but couldn’t remember if she got off a shot because ... that’s when she got shot.” A rueful smile curved his lips. “Well, I know for a fact she did.”

  “How?”

  “The advantage of being a distraught father is the sheriff was willing to share some information with me. They found a blood trail in your yard.”

  Shad’s eyes widened.

  “It’s just a few drops, but they led back to the end of your driveway. Apparently the bottom-feeder parked there, and the barking dog was causing him to approach the house with care.” A hint of pleasure crept into Karl’s smile. “Dulsie winged him. So he oozed back to his car and got out of here.”

  That would explain the strip search. But Shad knew the fact he didn’t have a gunshot wound didn’t release him from suspicion. He wasn’t the trigger man, but the police knew he could have arranged for somebody else to do the job. But if Dulsie had wounded her attacker....

  “Then the sheriff should catch him.” Shad felt an almost forgotten flicker of hope. “Medical institutions have to report all gunshot wounds to the police.”

  “Assuming he goes to a doctor.” Karl shook his head. “It could be minor enough a wound he might reckon on patching it up himself. With any luck he’ll get an infection and die anyway. I just wouldn’t have the satisfaction of knowing he’d become maggot food.”

  Shad regarded his father-in-law with a little renewed wariness. “You know ... one theory is I might’ve sent somebody out here to ... do the shooting.”

  Karl tilted his head and pressed his lips together. “Shad ... I know for a fact you’d never hurt Dulsie. I got no idea what it is that’s going on between the two of you right now, especially outta the blue like this, and I’m not even gonna ask. A man deserves his privacy.” He drew a breath before continuing. “Jill wanted me to run you off when she found out you were dating Dulsie. But you know why I refused?”

  Shad shook his head.

  “I knew you’d be good to her. That was the most important thing to me, and you filled the bill. I know how Pax is with Maddie, and I saw he taught you to do the same. And I saw you in that room this morning.” Karl smirked slightly. “And I know you’re a terrible actor.”

  Both appreciation and guilt swirled inside him. Shad lowered his head again.

  Karl continued. “I also do realize that you have all the makings of a serial killer, except as far as I know you weren’t into torturing animals and wetting the bed during your childhood.” He tilted his head. “Although Pax did tell me that you took to fire building like a skunk takes to stink.”

  Shad looked up to regard Karl a bit warily again. Not only was the man known to be insightful, Karl had his own penchant for feeling out certain aspects of a person. Just as Shad could empathize with other abuse victims, Karl was quick to determine how much of a threat someone else posed and the best way to deal with it. That probably influenced why his sons became a park ranger and a conservation agent. Shad had heard the stories. Another nervous flutter beat through his stomach as Shad realized that if anybody could figure out his secret, it could be Karl.

  “But who am I to hold that against you?” Karl smirked. “Fact is, if you weren’t a little dangerous you’d just be a doormat, and Dulsie doesn’t need that either. You just know how to point that aggressive streak elsewhere, and it would never be at her.”

  At least Karl seemed to be veering in another direction now, but Shad wanted to back him even farther away from the truth. So he decided to counter with another truth.

  “I still managed to hurt Dulsie.”

  “Whatever you did, I know it wasn’t intentional. It’s only if you set out to hurt her on purpose that I’d have to haul you out on a back road one night when the mother ship’s due to come in.”

  Shad resumed staring at the ground. He didn’t feel worthy of the kindness Karl was extending to him. And that reminded Shad of something else he’d witnessed this morning.

 
; “I’ve also hurt the rest of the family. Mam and Jill are fighting because of me.”

  Karl let out an exhale before he responded. “Do you remember what the most dangerous animal in the woods is?”

  “A mother defending her young.”

  “And once a mom, always a mom. It doesn’t matter that you and Dulsie are all grown up now. Dulsie is the daughter Jill finally got.” Karl’s voice seemed to become even gentler. “And you’re the son Maddie finally got.”

  And Mam and Pap were the parents Shad finally got. Had it not been for them, the trouble he was in right now would seem miniscule to the trouble he could have created entirely on his own. Yet this mess was the only reward he had to give them for their efforts.

  Karl continued when Shad didn’t respond. “Jill and Maddie are evenly matched. They just have different styles. Their maternal instincts have got the best of them lately, but believe me, the bond that ties them isn’t any weaker. In fact, this could make it even stronger.”

  Shad was familiar with the concept Karl was sharing with him, but this morning it sounded more like empty words of consolation than encouragement that all would work out for the better.

  “It’s still all my fault.”

  “Speaking of which....” Karl cupped his elbow in one hand and the other hand curled around his chin as he studied Shad. “You got any ideas why someone would be after you? I mean, besides the fact you’re a lawyer and somebody’s just starting on you before they get to the rest. Do you have any idea why somebody would want to kill you?”

  Shad looked up with a start. “What?”

  “It wasn’t just a potential burglar out here last night. He began shooting as soon as a person came out of the house. He was here to kill. Dulsie doesn’t have an enemy in the world, but – you are a lawyer. You have the potential to get people upset with you.”

  Shad gaped at Karl in disbelief. The deputies had also asked him if Shad had any enemies, but the way Karl was phrasing it, especially when Shad finally had some information about the night’s events, the possibility seemed more concrete, except –

  “I mostly handle family law. Wills, real estate, that sort of thing. The family’s more likely to get upset with each other than with me.”

  “You handle a few divorces, too. And from what I hear, you pick out the dicey ones.”

  Shad frowned. He didn’t handle many divorces, but it was true he gravitated to those that were highly charged, like Charissa’s case, for example. Yet it was precisely for children like her that he devoted himself to the insane goal of becoming a lawyer. Why else would someone as conflict shy as he was get entangled in such hostile affairs? It could only be that aggressive streak Karl mentioned earlier.

  “Nothing immediately comes to mind,” Shad murmured, although the complexities of Charissa’s case naturally lingered in his thoughts. The next realization that surfaced was the possibility that Shad’s “choice” of career had contributed to Dulsie winding up in the hospital. A fresh wave of guilt surged through him and Shad wondered how Karl was managing to remain so benevolent toward him. He was really more deserving of the man’s vehemence, although Shad figured he’d rather face the mother ship than the honey locust.

  “It might not be a current client.” Karl seemed to scrutinize him. “It might be a case you thought was all settled and done and over with.”

  Shad shook his head. “Nothing seems obvious.”

  “If they’ve got any intelligence at all, they want to not be obvious. Think about it. And I mean really think about it. You want the goon who did this to Dulsie to get what he deserves, don’t you?”

  Something new flickered inside Shad. Actually, it wasn’t so much new as rather disused for a while. Somebody besides him had been instrumental in hurting Dulsie, and Shad had been so busy berating himself that Karl’s question was almost like a revelation to him. There was somebody else that justice needed to pursue. There was somebody else that needed to pay for his actions. And if Shad possibly held the key to identifying who that person was, then he owed it to Dulsie to utilize every means available to discover that person.

  Before Shad got to express any of these thoughts to Karl, they heard the drone of an engine approaching them. Shad looked toward the road and immediately recognized Pap’s pickup coming toward the house.

  Shad looked at Karl, who shrugged and smirked.

  “Sorry, son. I finked you out.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  A person is obligated to bless God for the evil that befalls him just as he blesses Him for the good.

  --Berakhot 9:5

  Pap was all business when he stepped out from the truck. It was an attitude Shad had seen a few times, but not since he’d graduated high school.

  “Thanks, Karl.” Pap nodded to his brother-in-law, then turned his attention to Shad. “Come on. Hop in your truck and we’ll get back to the house.”

  Shad felt as though he’d just been snagged into an intervention. “I need – I’ve got stuff back at the motel.”

  “We’ll leave your truck at the house and both go to the motel to get your stuff.”

  Shad wasn’t inclined to argue. Pap had used this technique in the past whenever he needed to impress something upon Shad and wasn’t about to let the boy get by with avoiding something he needed to do. Having never dealt with this action before as an adult, Shad could only respond to it as he did when a kid. Besides, with his life currently at the mercy of the currents of chance or destiny, Shad figured he might as well let this newest wave carry him wherever it willed.

  So he drove to his childhood home, parked the pickup, and got into the truck with Pap.

  “Where’s Mam?” Shad asked as Pap drove back out to the road.

  “Still at the hospital with Jill.”

  Shad had another twinge of guilt. “Is that a good idea?”

  “They seem to think so.” Pap glanced toward him. “It pleased Jill satisfactorily when you left with the deputies, so she won’t need to vent so much. And Maddie can take her grumblings better when you aren’t there to hear it. Maddie reckons you heard enough put-downs when you were younger, so it gets her ire up that you should have to hear any more.”

  “So you and Karl left to get the chores done?”

  “That, and we hoped between the two of us we’d be able to catch you up once the sheriff was done with you.”

  On the way to the motel Pap quizzed Shad about the interrogation, then inquired about Shad’s conversation with Karl. When he told Pap about Karl’s assertion the gunman was really there to kill Shad, Pap pursed his lips together.

  “I wondered about that, myself,” Pap murmured.

  A new realization sent a flash of panic through Shad. “If somebody’s trying to kill me, I can’t stay with you!”

  “Yes, you can.” Pap’s eyes narrowed.

  A fresh wave of guilt washed over him. “You and Mam would be put in danger. I’m not gonna do that.”

  Pap stayed focused on the road and his voice was gruff. “I’d rather face down a passel of assassins than have to worry and fret again about where you are and if you’re safe.”

  Shad lowered his head and rested it in his hands. Why did he have to devastate the lives of the people he cared about? He was like a vector of ill fortune, unable to refrain from harming others no matter what he did or tried to do.

  Pap’s voice became steady again. “Besides, I doubt there’s that much to worry about. Whoever shot Dulsie wasn’t any pro. He’s probably scared off for good and he’s not likely to find you when you aren’t home.”

  “I wish I’d been home last night.”

  Pap released an exhale before he responded. “Why weren’t you?”

  Shad cursed his disorder and himself as well. “I’m a waste of flesh.”

  “We’re gonna start laying some ground rules. First one is you aren’t allowed to drag yourself through the mud.”

  This was all feeling familiar. Not only had he regressed in his perversion, Shad realized ag
ain his behavior was reverting to his youth with Mam and Pap. He was dragging Pap back into the role of paternal counselor, and that only added to the shame Shad already carried.

  Pap continued. “Second one is you don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to.”

  He really didn’t want to answer that question, so Shad silently continued to berate himself.

  After several minutes of this, Pap spoke again. “You and Dulsie always did plan on having a family someday.”

  Shad turned his head slightly to glance between his fingers at Pap. “What?”

  “I know Dulsie wouldn’t sit on news like that very long. Naturally she’d tell you first. So was it Monday or yesterday she told you she was pregnant?”

  Shad was so baffled by Pap’s new topic of discussion that it distracted him from his misery. “Monday. After work.”

  “Does the pregnancy have anything to do with why you two have a problem all the sudden?”

  A hint of panic started to swell inside him. Had Dulsie said something? And if she hadn’t yet, would she say it later? It had never occurred to Shad before that Dulsie would ever betray anything he’d told her in confidence, but Shad remembered the distant look she gave him in the hospital. He had been the first to break the trust between them. It would only serve him right if Dulsie told all his secrets to the rest of the family.

  “I wasn’t ready for it,” Shad mumbled.

  Pap frowned slightly. “From the day you were married you took the chance of having a baby. I know you knew that. I find it hard to believe that just because Dulsie got pregnant when you weren’t planning on it, you’d – do whatever it is you’re doing.”

  Pap was just as crafty as ever. Shad remembered the ways his father would try to turn up information about the existence Shad led when he lived with that woman. And now, as then, Pap was getting too close to the answers he sought, so Shad remained silent.