Equal Access

by A. E. Branson

  It was the same smile she beamed at him on their wedding day as they stood at the front of the worship house, and before a room full of witnesses solemnized their commitment to each other. Shad unequivocally rated it as the best day of his life, but he knew it should lead to other “best days,” such as when they had children.

  Shad stared into the storm and contemplated how much he had been ignoring the fact he and Dulsie really did have a child on the way. It was a reality almost difficult to wrap his mind around, yet in another sense it was a reality so stark he knew his life was forever changed. With an all too familiar twinge of guilt Shad remembered that for a split second, after he learned Dulsie had been shot, the thought surfaced in his mind things would be better for them if Dulsie lost the baby. Some father he was turning out to be.

  The rain began falling more smoothly and the rumble of thunder was no longer preceded by loud cracks. As Shad watched the halos of light caused by the streetlamps try to penetrate the early darkness, he pondered the concept that for the next eight and a half months Dulsie and the baby were physically one. What she benefited from, the baby benefited from. Shad remembered the pure joy Dulsie was expressing just before he blew her world to bits. She would be a wonderful mother, which was one of the many reasons he’d married Dulsie.

  Most people had to wait for a second chance at a better family life until after they grew up and had a family of their own. Quaid Delaney saw the opportunity when Grace offered him shelter and he seized it. Shad was one of those few people given a second chance during his childhood. Quaid’s legacy had drawn him in and turned Shad from the path of being a destroyer of families and childhood innocence to a defender. Now he stood here with a third chance, and Shad admitted he wasn’t getting off at a very good start.

  His concern for Dulsie now included concern for their child. When somebody had almost killed her, he almost killed their first child. Their child. He had a child. It wasn’t on the ground yet, but Shad was responsible for their child. It needed him now to take care of its mother just as it would need him later to take care of it. It. Him. Her.

  Shad told himself he had been flirting with cowardice. On the fifty percent chance he had a daughter Shad had allowed fear and anxiety to dictate his actions. His determination to bring Dulsie’s attacker – their child’s attacker – to justice had finally moved him to where he was supposed to be. He couldn’t allow fear to rule him again. After all, every Delaney knew it took balls to be a man.

  Tonight’s storm subsided and finally midnight came. Shad sat at the small desk in the room and linked his computer to the hotel’s internet access.

  The dirty rodent had performed its duty admirably. In a matter of minutes Shad had as much access to Wally’s computer as though he were sitting in front of it instead of his personal laptop in a hotel room.

  First he perused Wally’s email even though Shad knew he wouldn’t find any messaging about arranging a hit on him. But there might be contacts to make note of. As Shad sifted through the different folders of the mailbox he began to notice patterns of people both Wally and his wife Lynette kept contact with. One address that drew Shad’s attention was for a young woman who made frequent references to “Tyler” and Lynette’s older son. Shad delved deeper and made a discovery that made his blood run cold.

  Although not married, Lynette’s son and this woman had a son themselves. Shad berated himself for assuming that because the sons weren’t married they didn’t have any children. Worse yet, Shad discovered through more investigation that this Tyler was almost five years old. And late in the afternoon his mother was going to drop the boy off to spend the evening with his grandparents while she went shopping.

  A whole new wrinkle had been added to Shad’s agenda. He couldn’t let Wally have access to this boy for even one more day. He was going to have to move more quickly than originally planned, but Shad needed to gather the incriminating evidence he had come here after.

  So he proceeded to tap into what websites Wally had gone to. There might not be anything on Wally’s computer about attempted murder, but Shad was confident he could find something to support Wally was still engaged in other criminal activity.

  The internet was a boon to molesters. Before the 1990’s they had been relegated to personal contact in back-alley bookstores and secret mailings to support their sense of community and gain access to images that offenders seemed compelled to hoard and share. But the internet, with its apparent anonymity, removed many of those earlier risks. It provided the means for them to swap and purchase pornography portraying children, as well as interact with each other.

  The first few sites revealed standard fare about technology and gaming, but then Shad ran across something that immediately raised the proverbial red flag.

  Wally had a slew of foreign proxies at his disposal. Proxies, which were also a hacker’s best friend, muddied the trail if someone tried to trace the user’s activities. Shad’s own warm relationship with them enabled him to fairly quickly pick up on a trail which eventually led to what was known as a floating site because it stayed at one address only temporarily, thus making it harder to track. He was delayed for a few minutes because he had to break the encryption for a password, but Shad finally got in.

  As soon as he saw the words on his computer screen that touted childhood advocacy, Shad knew he’d struck the mother lode.

  It was one of those activist websites that also operated as a message board. The language argued along a sort of reverse logic. Shad read through several tracts purporting arguments he was already familiar with.

  “What parent hasn’t noticed children touching themselves during bath time? How long have they denied kids will look at each other in the famous game of doctor? Children are curious and wish to explore their sexuality, but the prudes who fear their own sensual feelings externalize that conflict and tell children to be sexless automatons. When they realize there are adults who are willing to help children in this exploration, they panic and demonize those who love children. Worse yet, they create feelings of guilt and shame in children for wanting and participating in this contact.”

  He’d heard these arguments before. It seemed like another lifetime ago Shad had actually taken them under consideration. Now the misconceptions were so clear to him that Shad ruminated how lost a person must be to give credence to such ideas.

  “The truly healthy pedophile will advocate lowering the age of consent laws and support other pedophiles who wish to do the same. They must assert their rights as well as the rights of the children they love.”

  A realization stirred in the back of Shad’s mind that both before and after his disorder had come out of latency, he was actually offended that people used the term “pedophile” when they really meant “molester.” Although Shad couldn’t deny being one he was certainly not the other, and he didn’t appreciate the assumption that everybody with his disorder got lumped with the misbehavers. It was as bad as assuming someone who had been molested was more likely to become a molester in turn. The victim became the accused.

  More lines of argument were familiar to him.

  “Sexual activity is private and the government should stay out of the bedroom.” And yet the site also insisted, “The pedophile is an object of discrimination and therefore must demand the same freedom to human rights which are the pillars of our democracy.”

  The activists desired more than to make their behavior legal and protect their privacy. They really wanted to transform society’s view of reality by eliminating any judgment that such actions were wrong. Heck, not only was this activity normal and natural, they claimed, children should be taught in schools this was an acceptable standard of behavior. And any troglodyte who continued to insist such actions were wrong must be silenced or legally forced to embrace it.

  In other words, once “child love” became legal, perpetrators still should rally to compel legislation that any resistance to it must be made illegal.

  Eventually Shad had enough of
the misguided defenses and he clicked around to see what other offerings were available. Both a chat room and a bulletin board were accessible. Shad was particularly wary of the chat room, especially this late at night. So he surfed to the bulletin board to see what messages had been posted.

  The wording was somewhat cryptic and evasive, but Shad knew exactly what was being offered. There were announcements for buying, selling, and swapping pornography. But worse yet, there were posts of times and places other children would be available for access to members of this website – and any other takers informed of the opportunity.

  Shad’s blood ran cold. Merciful God, he’d uncovered a sex ring.

  Part of the bond for this particular group of offenders was location. Most of the places advertised were in the St. Louis area. Others were scattered across the state or the neighboring state of Illinois. For Shad’s purposes, they had the quality of providing information that would allow law enforcement to track down their identities and save their victims sooner.

  Shad began copying pages of the bulletin board to the flash drive in the USB port. As he moved further back in the board’s timeframe, a particular message from about a week ago caught his eye.

  “Need assistance concerning a former candidate. May try to upset the apple cart. Any suggestions that can be offered will be greatly appreciated monetarily.”

  Shad recognized Wally’s alternative messaging address. Had he just found the link to attempted murder?

  He copied the message and exited the website. When Shad opened the folder for the messages, however, he was disconcerted to discover most of the correspondence older than a couple of days had been deleted. But nothing was really deleted unless....

  Shad delved deeper into the computer’s files and managed to uncover the remnants of discarded data. There seemed to be significant activity associated with Wally’s message.

  At first Wally seemed to solicit several responses to his post, but Shad determined there was one that Wally had more contact with than the others.

  “I can’t help you myself, but I know of a couple of people who could do whatever you need done. Location is Jefferson City, what travel is involved?”

  Wally responded. “Jefferson City would be perfect. Target actually lives in that area. Time to come to the end of his road. Can your people do that?”

  The reply was, “I’ve talked it over with someone. If the price is right he’ll take care of it for you.” It listed a phone number and time to call, but no name.

  Looking up the phone number would be child’s play for Shad, but he needed to save that task for later. Incredible. Not only had he proven Wally was still an offender and a participant in a sex ring, Shad also had evidence Wally really was connected to trying to murder him. This was enough to put the man away for a very, very long time. This was for Dulsie and their child.

  Shad copied the messages. He glanced at the clock in the lower right corner of his computer screen and was surprised to see it was already after four o’clock. He’d better get out in case either Wally or Lynette was an early riser. The rest of what he needed to do, he could do on his own computer.

  When Shad looked up the phone number, he was disconcerted again to see it was one of the business lines of a local department store at the mall, and the time given would have been after hours. That wouldn’t give him any name. But he could look up the identity of the correspondent in the messages. That person would be complicit in the conspiracy of murder as well.

  It required some more of his hacking skills, but Shad finally uncovered the information that revealed the identity and location of the person Wally had been in contact with. Shad already knew he was in Jeff, but when he saw the name, his blood ran cold again.

  Victor Phillips. Victor Phillips? Vic Phillips?

  The same Vic who was helping out with Charissa?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ordinary people may settle for the appearance of truth more often than truth itself.

  --Rene Descartes

  Hoping he was wrong, Shad dove into confirming Victor Phillips’s identity and to his horror discovered he was right. He looked at the time and debated whether anybody would be up this early at either Monica’s or Eliot’s home.

  If Shad remembered correctly, Vic would sleep at his apartment in the mornings after getting off work at the hospital. He didn’t get to Monica’s until late morning, in time to help prepare lunch.

  How would Vic fit into a molester’s profile? Did he actually have a preference for children? Or, more worrisome, was Vic a situational offender? He might take advantage of a helpless adult just as easily. That would make Monica a target as well. And then there were those patients at the hospital Vic would have access to.

  Shad could have crawled out of his own skin as he thought about Dulsie being in the hospital. No, no ... Karl and Jill were keeping a tag team vigil on her. Besides, she was probably too alert for someone who wanted to keep his activity hidden. Dulsie should be all right.

  Dulsie had to be all right.

  Shad looked at the clock again and noticed it still wasn’t long after six o’clock. He couldn’t stand it any longer. With his cell phone Shad called the number to Eliot’s house.

  It was Tess who answered, and she definitely sounded like Shad had roused her from bed. “Hello?”

  “Tess? This is Shad Delaney, Monica’s attorney. Listen, I’m sorry to be calling so early, but I really need to talk to Eliot. Is he available?”

  “Eliot? No. No, he got called out for a calving complication or something like that.”

  Of all the.... Even Shad knew he couldn’t tell Vic’s sister what he had just discovered. There could be a variety of reasons why she wouldn’t take the news very well. Shad did make a mental note to tell his child one day never to marry a veterinarian.

  “All right. Okay.” His mind raced for a solution. “I’ll try his cell phone. But in case I have trouble reaching him, would you still give him the message to call me?”

  “Is there something I can help you with?”

  “No, no, except – why don’t you call Vic and tell him he doesn’t need to go to Monica’s today? I’m gonna be there later. And there’s something I need Eliot’s help with, so Vic doesn’t need to go there. You got that?”

  “Well ... yeah.”

  “Thanks, Tess. Thanks a whole lot. And I’m sorry again if I got you up.”

  Shad did try Eliot’s cell phone number after he got off with Tess, but as he suspected Shad had to leave a message with voice mail. If Eliot had an armful of newborn calf slime right now it might be a little while before he returned Shad’s call.

  He took a deep, cleansing breath, and Shad returned his attention to his original purpose for being here. After freshening up in the bathroom and making sure everything was packed back up to leave, Shad made a call to Wally’s home. Luck finally favored him when the person Shad was trying to reach actually picked up at the other end.

  “Hello?”

  “Good morning, Wally,” Shad responded casually. “This is Shad Delaney. Remember me?”

  A couple of seconds passed before Wally replied. “Oh. It’s ... a surprise to hear from you.”

  “I bet it is. You and I need to talk. Now. But not over the phone. I’ve got a place for us to meet.”

  Even though Dulsie had clearance to leave the hospital Dad said it would probably be an hour before somebody showed up with a wheelchair. Dulsie tried to dismiss the need for such an apparatus, but Dad convinced her to wait. Mom wasn’t there that morning, and Dad said she’d have his hide skinned off and tacked to the back wall of the workshop before dinner if he let Dulsie walk out of there.

  What wasn’t quite right about this scenario was that Shad wasn’t there to take her home, and right now “home” was returning to her parents’ house. As Dulsie sat up in bed while Dad sat in a chair beside her, she remembered when Shad walked into this room a couple of days ago. To her chagrin, the very first word that flashed through Dulsie’
s mind when she saw him enter was pedophile. When Shad stroked her cheek Dulsie wanted to recoil. And yet she couldn’t deny still feeling some sense of obligation to him.

  Dad leaned back in the chair and stretched his legs out. “You know, I’ve been thinking. And I think I’ve been doing you and Shad a disservice.”

  His words were a bit of a jolt to her. “How so?”

  “I should’ve told you more about your grandparents. What happened between them and me. I always kinda figured I’d need to someday, and I think I waited too long.”

  Dulsie frowned slightly as she studied him. “What did I need to know before now?”

  “There are different reasons for keeping silence. I don’t want to tell you a whole lot about your grandpa’s bad points because I wanted to keep the door open. I wanted forgiveness to have a chance. Actually, your mom’s the one who told me to give forgiveness a chance, so I didn’t want to ... turn you against your grandpa if he ever wanted to reestablish a relationship. Even now, if we have to wait until he’s on his deathbed, we have to give forgiveness a chance.”

  Dulsie was still a little puzzled why Dad felt the need to share this revelation now. “Are you saying ... I need to forgive Shad?”

  “That’s a good idea, but no, that’s not what I’m saying. Where this becomes a disservice to Shad, though, is I think I unwittingly encouraged him to keep his own silence. Maybe if I’d talked more about your grandpa he would have been more willing to open up about his own past. Maybe the two of you wouldn’t have had this bomb go off between you.”

  “We knew Grandpa would beat you.”

  “But I didn’t talk about it.” Dad crossed his arms behind his head, stretched, and then clasped his hands in front of his chest. “I think it’s ingrained in the male noggin to be quiet about those touchy-feely things. Pax, God love him, is better at it than most of us, but he had a happy childhood. He just couldn’t connect with Shad on that level. Sympathy is one thing but empathy will give you a lot more mileage. I did try a little bit, I did. From my own lips Shad heard about how my dad lashed a coiled rope across my shoulders, and a few other things like that. But I was also afraid if I said too much I’d just add to the boy’s trauma.” Dad looked at her. “It’s very easy to come up with reasons to support why you shouldn’t do something you don’t really want to do.”