Chapter 16
Like the flame only feet away from where we sat, my body had ignited, Chad being the match. His engaging stare was fixated on mine, enticing me to follow his lead, no matter how far he intended to take things. I’d stopped fighting him, letting our natural impulses lead the way. His kisses were practiced and heart-stopping. My salacious appetite was obvious, even after only a few lustful kisses.
We were playing a dangerous game¸ raking over the anticipation of pleasuring each other the way we’d done years before. A connection like ours couldn’t be severed with time. I was coming to realize it had only intensified my need to relish every amatory detail of this encounter.
We both knew we’d never get back the time we’d lost, but rather than dwell on the negative, we were flourishing in the idea of rediscovery.
Chad broke away from me, coming to a standing position. “I’ll be right back.”
I was almost inclined to think something had changed his mind. The few minutes which passed before his return left me wondering the same about my own choices. Then he resurfaced, carrying a tube of lotion. “How long has it been?” He curiously asked while sitting back down near me. Before I could reply he’d removed one of my pumps, catching my foot with his strong hand. He opened the tube and squirted a small amount over the smooth skin on the arch. It was cold, causing me to retract a few inches. His snicker was amusing.
“I can’t remember.”
“I’m not rushing things, Rach. There’s no need to. I don’t plan on going anywhere for a while.”
I could have asked about California, or his obligations, but I was too focused on the way his hands worked out the kinks in my neglected foot. “I missed this.”
Grayson had done his best to pamper me, but Chad had always been excellent at massages. He seemed to enjoy giving them as much as I favored getting them. At first I’d assumed he had some weird fetish, but come to find out he was just a thorough lover. Little details like this may have slipped my mind, but he was proving some things can hardly be forgotten.
“That feels amazing.”
A smile radiated off his face as he continued working my stressed muscles. I watched him lick his lips before responding. “You should already know what to expect from me. Don’t act like you’re surprised. If I’m nothing else, I’m patient.”
“Take your time. I have forever.” My eyes flew open when I understood how powerful the statement was.
Chad smirked. “Yeah, if only it were that easy.”
“It was an impulsive statement. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut and let you work your magic.”
“That’s not necessary. I happen to enjoy hearing you talk to me. Tell me what’s been going on with you. Talk to me about Steph and the baby. What’s her man like? Does he treat her right? Did Grayson get to walk her down the aisle?”
I smiled. Of course he’d be fine talking about my husband. That’s why Chad was always too good to be true. He actually cared about others. How his wife could have walked away from him was beyond me. She obviously couldn’t get past her own problems to see how lucky she’d been to have him.
“He walked her down the aisle three years ago. Her husband is a mechanic. He works in Rockville. They have a nice little place outside of town. It’s in a cozy neighborhood where a lot of young people are starting out. Stephanie teaches art to elementary school kids. She loves her job, and having her summers off.”
“Are you excited about being a grandma?”
I was almost afraid to see if he was teasing me, but answered honestly. “You know I love kids. I hate the idea of being called a grandparent, but at least I’m young enough to enjoy it. I can’t wait. She’s letting me be in the room when the baby comes.”
“It’s an amazing experience. Some of it is the most disgusting thing one could ever see in their lifetime, but then something beautiful happens and you sort of forget about the nasty parts.”
“I bet it was amazing to see your daughter being born.”
“Of course. You know I wanted kids.”
“How come you only have one?”
“Long story short, Veronica didn’t have time to be pregnant again. She’s too busy with work. We had a nanny, but since Harper has gotten bigger she only comes sometimes. I like taking her to work with me. She’s got a bunch of toys at the office, and I don’t have much stuff to do while I’m there. It mostly runs itself.”
“I try to keep up with my office, but it’s the same. I don’t really need to be there, but it keeps me occupied. If I had to sit home alone I’d go crazy.”
“I bet.” He paused for a second. “Do you think Stephanie would like a newer car? I don’t know what she drives, but my grandfather has too many. I know he’s got a Subaru that would be great for a new baby. She’s welcome to it.”
“You’re crazy. Sell it.”
“I don’t need the money, Rach. You and I both know that. It’s my pleasure. It’s my gift for the new baby.”
“I think you’ve given me enough.”
He sat my foot down and picked up the other one, removing the shoe and putting a dab of lotion onto the skin. “Nonsense. I’d give you the world if you’d let me.”
“You can’t say things like that, not while you’re still married to someone else.”
“Just because a piece of paper says I’m married doesn’t mean it’s real in my heart. Look me in the eyes and tell me you believe I’m married. Tell me you want me to stop so you can go home and think about what we could have been again.”
I opened my mouth, but words refused to come out. “No.”
“The minute you stepped into that hospital I stopped denying it.” While speaking, he massaged up my leg until he reached the knee. “I’m tired, Rach.”
I sat up. “You don’t have to rub my feet.”
He chuckled. “I don’t need a nap. I need you.”
His words took my breath away. My foot was released and his lips were crashing against mine. As he pulled away to take in my reaction, I said the first thing to come to mind. “When you kiss me again, don’t stop. Take your time. Hold me longer. When we make love tonight, I want you to do it like we’re saying goodbye all over again. Love me like you’re losing me, just in case this is all we have left.”
“Why would you say that?” He backed away as he asked. “I have no intentions of letting you again, Rach. Haven’t you been listening to me?”
“I have, but I also know how spontaneous we are when we’re together. We act on impulse and deal with the consequences later. I’m too experienced to think this is going to happen for us. It’s too easy. Life doesn’t just fall into place.”
“Why can’t it? Tell me why it can’t be perfect for us. Tell me why this isn’t our time to be together.”
I let my head fall over his chest. I could hear his heart beating, pacing me to focus and face the facts. An immediate fear swept over me. “Just love me tonight, Chad. That’s all I’m asking for. Love me tonight, and let the rest play out. I can’t get my hopes up, not with you, not with our track record.”
He was quiet as he took in what I was trying to get through to him. Life wasn’t set in stone. People change, things happen. I couldn’t fall completely into it with fear. I wasn’t the kind of person who could ignore facts.
“Promise me you’ll still be here in the morning.”
“I promise I’ll be wherever you are.” I meant it.
Chad melted kisses over the base of my neck, working his way up to my lips. Our tongues mingled, while his hands began to grope the center of my body. I found the hem of his shirt, untucking it from his trousers and lifting it over his head. His fit chest was warm to touch. I ran my hands over it, traipsing over the patches of hair. We separated once again for my shirt to come off, and then smacked right back into a lustful kiss.
The heat of the fire kept me burning, while he pressed my body down until my back was flat against the plush rug beneath me. Chad unfastened his belt and loosened his pants, but left
them to linger in place as he ducked down and drug his lips over the skin underneath my bra. I sucked in a deep breath of air as tingles traveled to my limbs. My hands traveled through his thick hair, while my eyes stared at the tall ceiling in the room for as long as I was able to keep them open.
This handsome as hell man was prepared to satisfy a hunger I’d had growing inside of me for longer than I could remember. His hands came up and cupped both of my breast, pulling the fabric down to reveal my hardened nipples. A low grumble escaped his lips as they came down and latched onto one.
Chad took his time, lapping up my nipple until it felt numb, then traveling to the next. While his mouth reacquainted with my skin, his hands were busy unfastening my pants. I could feel the coarseness of his palm as it skidded underneath my panties, finally stopping to cup my pussy. A finger traced the lips, digging it’s way into my opening. A gasp escaped my lips when I felt him driving it further inside.
Tiny kisses trailed down my abdomen until they stopped. I peeked down to spy him eying up his next target, while still driving his finger in me. As he removed it, I could feel the wetness wiping over my skin. Next, both of his hands gripped either side of my pants, tugging them down easily, and taking my cotton panties with them. The moment the fabric left my ankles his face was back, staring right at my exposed sex. The bottom of his palm brushed over it before he dove down, running his chin over my clit. I could see the end before he’d begun. I knew where he was about to take me. We’d been down this road already, and I’d spent the past ten years trying to convince myself he wasn’t the best I’d ever experienced. Now he was back, proving his point again, kissing me, touching me the way only he was able to do. Chad drove me to the brink, only to slowly take his time again and again. His touch, the way he stroked my skin, the smell of the air, the crackle of the fire, all played a part in making it just as perfect as our very first time.
I cried out, a powerful force taking control. Chad was already kissing his way back up to my lips, finding them waiting to be ravaged. I relished the way he smelled of me. He pulled away, raking his eyes over my exposed body before coming down for another amatory kiss. “Are you having flashbacks?”
I shook my head while holding a straight grin. “Maybe you should keep reminding me. It’s slowly coming back.”
His salacious appetite would be satiated, eventually. For the moment he was too determined to make all my worries dissipate. This love, back from the dead, was coming back to me full-force. I was tired of pretending I could let it go. I’d struggled with my demons, assuming my love for him had damned me to a future of loneliness, but what if I was wrong. What if he’d been my future all along? What if this was exactly where I was supposed to end up?
“Don’t ever stop. Don’t let me go.”
“I don’t plan to,” he whispered in my ear while licking over my lobe. “I love you too damn much to let you slip away from me again.”
If his intentions weren’t clear enough before, his statement said it all. In that moment I decided to stop overthinking what was happening. I’d dreamed of this; of his hands caressing my skin and taking me to new heights. I’d dreamed of his love coming back to me.
It was finally a reality.
Chapter 17
Her head nuzzled against my neck. Naked and exposed, we lay there together, the fire crackling a few feet from us. We didn’t need to say words out loud, because finally we were on the same page. The world had stopped spinning, our losses becoming bearable now that we had each other. The one who got away was no longer lost from my future. This was my opportunity to right my wrongs – to take what should have been mine in the first place.
Rachel had needed time. She’d loved and lost, while I seemed to do the same in my own way. Not even the distance could break her from my heart. The second I saw her again I should have been aware how everything was about to change.
There was much to be discussed, but for the moment we were too lost in each other to worry about the details of what would come. It was my duty, my obligation to remind her of what we were together, so I could ensure she’d never let me go again.
Reeling in anticipation, I melted kisses across her abdomen, all while keeping a constant rhythm with one hand as it caressed her pussy. Rachel dug her long nails into my shoulders, shuttering and falling apart before me. It was exhilarating to know that I not only gave her extreme pleasure, but also how she hadn’t been with anyone in such a long time. It was like she was experiencing things for the first time again, writhing in utter disbelief on what she’d been missing out.
“It’s just like I remembered,” I managed to get out before her lips smashed over mine.
Her hands ran through my hair, holding a hunk as our kiss became deeper. Her tongue glided to an enticing tempo, telling the tale of how we’d only just begun. I managed to climb on top of her, bringing both hands up to thumb over her nipples. Rachel pulled away from my kiss to let out tiny moans. I ran my rigid cock over her pussy, beguiling her to beg for it. More gentle sounds escaped her.
I growled against her mouth, coaxing her to accept what was about to occur. My knee came up and rubbed between her legs, lowering with a hint of her arousal. She was soaked, luring me in like bait on a hook. Her hand came down between us, surrounding my shaft. She circled it around her pussy, lubricating the tip with the remnants of her earlier release. Our mouths were still touching, remaining in place to continue the ravenous kissing I couldn’t get enough of. “Are you sure?”
She nodded and licked over my lips. “Yes.”
“Tell me you love me, Rach. Tell me this is where we’re supposed to be.”
Even as we kissed again, I was hungry for more. I needed to make up for the ten years I’d gone without them.
“I do. Chad, I do. I still love you.”
I was shaking as I thrust forward, entering her slow with caution. The tight walls of her pussy welcomed me, surrounding me with a constant pressure. I’d forgotten what she felt like and how when we were together I swore she was put on this earth for me.
I had to stop for a second to prevent from losing it entirely too soon. Rachel wrapped her arms around my back, holding me close. She flipped us around, using her legs to overpower me. When she sat up I had to close my eyes to keep composure. She was too damn perfect, especially with the light of the fire being the only illumination in the room.
Rachel brought her hands up, gradually grazing over each of her own nipples. She was torturing me, forcing me to focus on being competent and lasting more than a few minutes.
She glided her body over mine, finally coming back down to kiss my lips. I didn’t know which position was worse. Both left me wanting to explode. Like we were moving in slow motion, Rachel took her time. She danced above me, giving me time to grasp this was happening.
I didn’t let Rachel keep control for long. I sat up, bringing her legs to wrap around my back. Her arms lifted over my head, sitting at the base of my neck. Her kisses were hungry, sometimes causing us to lose our breath. We were lost in each other. Once again I’d found my happy place, and as her body rocked over mine, I knew this couldn’t be the end. She told me to love her like we were saying goodbye, but goodbye wasn’t an option anymore. I didn’t care what I had to do, this was the only place I wanted to be.
I came, losing control beneath her. Her mouth stayed against mine as my face tightened and a bellow came out. Her legs trapped me, keeping me in the same position even though I was turning to mush.
I’m not sure how long we stayed together, re-familiarizing our lips, and how she fit so perfectly inside my arms.
Everything was surreal until I heard a little girl’s voice coming from another part of the room.
“Daddy?”
One minute I was in my glory, a euphoric lapse of judgment. The next I was panicking, scrounging for something to cover us from being discovered by her innocent eyes.
“I’ll be right there, pumpkin.”
I looked over at Rachel, seeing he
r struggling to keep it together. “I’ll be back. Don’t you dare leave.”
I wasn’t sure, but I could have sworn I caught a look of regret cross over her face. It broke my heart to put my pants on and leave her there alone.
I found Harper sitting on the steps in tears. I picked up her and carried her back to the bedroom, the whole time trying to figure out what she’d witnessed and how I could talk my way out of it.
Her sniffles finally settled after a few minutes of me lying close to her. “I want my Mommy.”
“Mommy’s not here.”
“Why were you kissing that lady? Do you love her?”
It damn near shattered me. What was I supposed to say? She was my little girl. Disappointing her was like driving a knife into my own heart. “No. Of course not. You were tired. You were just dreaming. Go back to sleep, Harper. Daddy will stay right here with you.”
I was shaking, unable to get to Rachel to explain why I felt I couldn’t leave Harper, not until she fell back asleep.
Those few minutes were gut-wrenching. I thought about how Harper felt seeing me with someone other than her mother. I imagined Rachel’s reaction, and how it was going to make her want to walk away. I couldn’t let it happen, not again.
As soon as I knew Harper was resting again, I hurried downstairs to find Rachel dressed and sitting on the couch with her hands covering her face. As soon as the cushion next to her moved she turned to look at me. “Hey. I’m sorry about that.”
“No. We got carried away. We should have been more careful. That’s what happens when you and I get together. Nothing else matters.”
She stood and I knew it was because she was about to leave. I caught her hand and held her from turning away from me. “This changes nothing, Rach.”
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