Monstrous (Blood of Cain Book 1)

by J. L. Murray

  “Her name is Beatrice. And she’s the only one who cares.”

  The slap came quickly and seemed too easy for him. He looked at his hand, just as surprised as I was. He shook his head, seeming about to apologize, but closed his mouth and looked out at the road.

  “You and I will get through this, Frank. You and me together. Not Beatrice. We’ll work on the car together. Then we’ll leave this place. Okay? We’ll leave in our car. Can you wait until then?”

  I couldn’t speak, but I nodded, holding my cheek. I could still feel where he’d struck me. It hadn’t been hard, but I could feel it all the way down to my bones. I would feel that slap while I was being strapped into the gurney on the edge of death. I felt that slap until the day I died. And even after.

  The night my father died, he and my mother fought. I stayed in my room with the door locked, huddled into the corner with blankets wrapped around me. Becky stayed in the living room where I imagined she was watching the fight, enthralled. I heard something hit my bedroom window. Something small and hard, like a pebble from the gravel road. It came again and, careful and afraid, I peeked out the window.

  Bea was standing in the yard, shotgun held at her side. I opened the window.

  “Frankie, get out of there, girl. I can hear them all the way out to the road.”

  “I can’t,” I said, remembering my promise to my father all that time ago. The car was finally finished. He told me as soon as I could drive, we’d go. It was almost time.

  “I’ve seen something in the mirrors,” said Bea. “It’s not safe for you there.”

  “The mirrors? What?”

  “Your sister,” she said. “The real one. I saw her. She came to me and I saw her in the mirror.”

  “I can’t go,” I said. “Maybe you imagined it. Maybe it was a dream.”

  “Have they got you brainwashed? Don’t be an idiot, get out of there. I think something bad is going to happen. I know it is.”

  “Go home, Bea,” I said. “You’re going to get me in trouble again.”

  “Frankie, please...”

  But I shut the window. And I went out into the kitchen. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I had to do something. I was done being a victim, a plaything, someone to torture. I was tired of waiting for my father. I walked out into the living room. My sister was sitting on the sofa and she smiled when she saw me.

  “Looks like you found your spine,” she said, seeming excited at the prospect.

  My mother turned to look at me, flinching at the expression on my face.

  “Frankie, go back to your room,” my father said, clearly afraid. He was watching his wife, something like terror on his face.

  “She’s just told him she wants to sell you,” said Becky gleefully. “Like a whore.”

  “Go back in your room, Frankie,” my father said. “Please, Frank, just for a little while.”

  “Why don’t we just leave?” I said, my voice stronger than it had ever been. I heard a tap at the window and became angrier. I had told Bea to leave me alone. “Why don’t we just go out the door and get the hell out of here?” My voice was rising, stronger, more powerful. I felt brave, my heart beating fast but strong. My fists were clenched. Tap, tap, tap. “Let’s get in the car and leave these sadistic pieces of filth behind us.” Tap, tap, tap, tap-tap-tap. “We’ll drive until we can’t anymore and then we’ll be free.” The four of us jumped as the kitchen window exploded. A raven crashed into the house through the broken glass. It shrieked at us, flapping its wings loudly, flying around the room. It landed on my shoulder for an instant, cawing loudly. Then it flew back out the window.

  Shaken, I stumbled back, no longer angry. I felt scared. I’d felt something right before that raven came in. Something I’d never felt before. Something like fire inside of me. Now that it was gone, I felt empty.

  “See what she is?” said my mother.

  “Yeah, see what she is?” said Becky. But she was watching me, no longer gleeful.

  “Stay away from my daughter,” said my father, standing straight. “You stay away from her, or so help me, I’ll goddamn kill you, Ruth.”

  We were all silent. I’d never heard my father stand up for me before. Never. Not once. And now, he’d just threatened to kill my mother if she hurt me. I felt a buzz in air, my hair standing up at the root. Then, my mother smiled.

  “Becky, come over here.”

  “Stay in there, Becky,” my father said. But Becky ignored him and stood next to my mother.

  “Let’s play a game,” said my mother, and she had the fillet knife in her pocket, which she pulled out with a flourish. The same knife she’d threatened to gouge my eyes out with. “Let’s see how many times we can stick him before he’s quiet.”

  “Frankie, get out of here,” said my father, turning his body as if shielding me from view. “Get out of here, Frank. Take the car. Hide.”

  “Daddy, let’s go,” I said.

  “Get out of here! Now,” said my father. Those were the next to last words he ever said to me. When he was lying on the floor, drowning in his own blood, when I was frozen in the doorway, unable to move, unable to stand, he said his last words.

  “Run, Frankie.”

  And the last words I said to my father before he died were, “Don’t leave me here.”

  When I finally managed to bolt out the door, Bea was waiting for me. She grabbed me by the arm and led me away. Led me to her cabin where I stayed until the police came and found me. They took me back home in handcuffs. My mother was waiting on the porch for me and she wrapped a cold hand around my shoulders.

  “Poor dear. She was just so upset by her father’s accident. That old woman puts such thoughts into her head.”

  I didn’t say anything as I watched a half dozen ravens land on the policeman’s car. And I felt the fire in my belly.

  I told Dekker the whole story. I’d never told anyone the truth about what really happened. No one else knew but Beatrice. And now Dekker knew, too. He officially knew more about me than any other person I’d ever met.

  “Okay, let’s go rescue your witch,” he said.

  “Is that enough for you?” I said. “You keep asking me to tell you about myself. But I know almost nothing about you.”

  “If we survive this fucking town,” he said, “I’ll tell you my life story.”

  chapter sixteen

  A

  s we passed the property where my old house used to stand, the car shuddered and suddenly the world around us was dark, black clouds passing in front of the sun and a mist rolling around us. I slammed on the brakes and dust from the road surrounded us for a moment.

  “Frankie, Frankie, Frankie,” came a voice.

  “Shit,” I said.

  “What is this?” said Dekker, looking around us.

  “It's not good,” I said, glancing at Dekker. He hadn’t heard the voice, I was sure of it. But as he turned forward again, I saw his jaw drop. It was a wraith, gathering form from shadows that shifted in the mist, becoming whole and standing in front of the car.

  “Can you see it?” I said.

  “Of course I can fucking see it,” he said, his voice tight. “What is it?”

  “Frankie, you’ve been bad, bad, bad.”

  “It’s a wraith,” I said, opening the car door and stepping out. Dekker grabbed my jacket and I looked at him.

  “What are you doing?” he said.

  “You know how I told you I had to leave the night we met?” I said. “That’s why. They tell me where to go.”

  “That thing is...your boss?” he said, blinking at the figure in front of us.

  “They come and I have to talk to them. They call me horrible names and tell me what to do. This is my life now.”

  “Doesn’t seem like any way to live,” he said.

  “And yet,” I said, “I’m still breathing. For some reason.”

  “I’m going with you.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  I walked toward the
wraith and it shuddered when Dekker stepped up behind me.

  “Frankie Mourning,” came the voice echoing in my head. “Frankie, you made a promise. Never tell, never tell, never tell.”

  “I never said that. Besides,” I said. “I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed help.”

  “What’s it saying?” said Dekker.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing,” said the wraith. “He’s not good, good, good.”

  “It's working out for me,” I said. “I’m just a whore, remember?”

  “You’ve been out of the world,” said the wraith. “What did you see?”

  “I saw enough.”

  “Did you see him? Did you see our enemy?”

  “Whose enemy?” I said. “I’m going to need a little more clarification.”

  The wraith shifted and disappeared with a noise like static. Dekker touched my arm, but I ignored him. The shadows next to us crackled and the wraith appeared again, too close, and Dekker jumped.

  “You’ve been given a gift,” said the wraith. “What is it?”

  “Hell if I know. You’re the one who seems to have all the answers.”

  “Why are you not afraid of me, Frankie, Frankie? Why don’t you shudder?”

  “Jesus, can we get to the fucking point?” I said. “What do you want? I have places to be. Some of us have a job to do.”

  “Your words are poison, sinner,” said the wraith, the words bouncing around in my head. “Will you not tell him to leave?”

  “No,” I said, taking a step toward the wraith. “Dekker stays.”

  “Can I shoot it?” said Dekker. “I can shoot it if you want.”

  “Easy there, cowboy,” I said. I turned back to the wraith. “Do you have something to say, or are you just here to harass me? If you want Dekker to leave, why don’t you make him?”

  “Watch your tone, whore.”

  “Oh, that’s cute.”

  A raven came down, squawking as it landed on the ground next to me. The wraith regarded it quietly as two other ravens landed next to the first. They screamed at the wraith and the figure seemed shaken. I frowned, trying to understand why it seemed so jarred.

  The wraith seemed to hesitate, turning its gaze on me. “I have no power over this one. Dekker, as you call him. He follows a different path.”

  “Some truth. Shocking,” I said. “Now what the hell do you want?”

  “Your sister. I know she’s been to see you.”

  “So? Don’t you keep tabs on your own kind?”

  “Tell us where she is.”

  The ravens shrieked and I laughed. “Jesus, I don’t know. It’s not like we’re close. She tried to strangle me. I did kill her, after all.”

  “You didn’t kill her. You freed her.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Pretty sure she doesn’t see it that way. She seemed pretty pissed. And I don’t know what the hell you did to her, but she’s not quite right. If you know what I mean.”

  “You’re telling the truth,” said the wraith, seeming almost surprised. “He won’t be happy. None of our kind has ever disappeared before. It’s against the rules.”

  “Leave her alone,” I said. “She’s been through enough. She shouldn’t suffer just because some creeper is obsessed with me.”

  “What?” said Dekker. I’d almost forgotten he was there.“Different creeper,” I said. “Not you.”

  The first raven flapped its wings and landed on Dekker’s shoulder. He cried out, his eyes going wide. “Frankie,” he said, slightly breathless. “What do I do?”

  “It’s a bird, honey,” I said. “It likes you. It’s not going to bite your neck or anything. I don’t think it is, anyway.”

  “Comforting,” he said, standing awkwardly, trying not to move.

  “You’ll tell us where she is,” said the wraith. “When you see her again, you’ll call to us.”

  “Probably not,” I said.

  “Your redemption is at stake, Frankie Mourning. You will tell us or we will tip you straight into Hell.”

  “You know,” I said, “I don’t think you will. See, I’ve seen him, this enemy you keep talking about. I know his name. And I know a lot more. I’ve been through the looking glass, you creepy shit. And I know what this is now. I’m not a pawn in your little game, I’m here to save my friend. So if you want someone to control, to tell who to be with, who to fuck, and who to love, you'll have to find another dead girl. Because I’m not playing this game anymore.”

  “You ungrateful bitch.”

  “Which is it? Whore, sinner, bitch? I’m starting to lose track. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can walk into this motherfucking trap.”

  Ravens had started to gather in the trees and the wraith looked up at them, shuddering in the rolling mist. For a moment it was almost like being inside the mirror again. But I blinked and felt the warmth of Dekker behind me. I could see my car behind me and I knew I was in the real world. The ravens were so loud I could barely hear the wraith when it spoke into my head again.

  “You’re going to regret disregarding my advice, Frankie Mourning. He’s going to bring you nothing but pain, pain, pain. That’s all you deserve, is the pain.”

  “Well, I guess I’ll have to take that chance,” I said. “But for now, he’s not going anywhere.”

  As the wraith twisted and contorted, spinning into a funnel of darkness and exploding, the shadows slithered back into their original places. The ravens screamed as one, rising into the sky in one deafening cloud and disappeared into the mist.

  “Well that was...normal,” said Dekker.

  The darkness stayed, turning day to night on the dirt road. I drove slowly with the lights on. I couldn’t see any wraiths, but the ravens followed, as though keeping an eye on me. I remembered the raven in the mirror world, showing me secrets, telling me truths I’d have been happier not knowing. And the horned man, Cain, said the raven gave me a gift. It may have all been a hallucination, and I wouldn’t put it past myself to finally go off the deep end. I was practically there already. The raven from Cain’s world, who was she? She’d said she was the oldest being I’d ever meet. Older than Cain? How was that possible? If all this was real, if it wasn’t my batshit imagination taking over, what the fuck was going on? I thought of the obsidian tower. Cain’s anger when he saw the raven, how he killed it.

  “You sure you still want to do this?” said Dekker, startling me from my thoughts. I glanced at him, swerving around a pothole in the road.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I don’t see any other way around it.”

  “Well, I mean, not doing it would be the alternative.” I glared at him and he shrugged, reached down to his ankle and came back with a small gun, handing it to me.

  “I don’t use guns,” I said.

  “Really,” he said. “A murderer with principles?”

  “No,” I said. “I just have my own way of doing things.”

  “Can you just take it, though?” he said. “For my own peace of mind.”

  “I’m not here for your peace of mind,” I said. “I’m here to make sure Beatrice is okay. Then I’m going straight to the lake.”

  “What, to toss yourself in?”

  I hesitated, tasting the words on my tongue before I said them. Dekker didn’t see what I had in the mirror, and something was keeping me from telling him the whole story. I barely knew him and he knew everything about me. But what did I know about him?

  “I don’t necessarily think it wants to kill me,” I said.

  “Have you been on this planet?” he said. “People are dropping like flies all around us.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “It’s trying to get my attention.”

  “Well, it’s done a good job,” he said. I could feel his eyes on me. “Frankie, what aren’t you telling me? What happened in the mirror?”

  I took a breath, breathed it out through my nose. “If we survive this town, I’ll tell you my life story. Isn’t that the deal I got, Dekker? You have your secrets, I have mine. You
can’t keep asking me things and not giving me anything in return. It’s bullshit.”

  “It’s not that I’m prying, Frankie,” he said. “This is my life, too. And it’s troubling that you don’t seem to give a shit about your own.”

  “I’m better off dead,” I said. “I always have been.”

  “Fuck that,” he said.

  “No, fuck you,” I said, suddenly angry. “What gives you the right to tell me what to do with my life. I fucking died. They brought me back. And you don’t know jack shit about what it means to stay alive, what I’ve had to do since I came back from the dead. Everything hurts, and no one gives a flying fuck how I feel.”

  “I care,” he said. “Jesus, what’s wrong with you? I’m trying to help you.”

  “Trying to help me or find out more about me?”

  I thought of Cain. I wasn’t looking for a weapon when I found you. Maybe Cain had gotten to Dekker. Maybe he’d always been in control of Dekker, just like my sister. Just like my mother. And if Dekker was for real, he deserved better than this shit.

  “What are you talking about? Frankie, these trust issues of yours are breathtaking.”

  “Why do you care?” I sped up, getting angry. “Why are you here? I told you to go, over and over, but you just keep sticking around.”

  “I made a promise to you,” Dekker said, his voice tight. He was gripping the sides of the seat, knuckles white.

  “Fuck your promise. Why are you really here?”

  “Because I want to be. Slow down!”

  “I need to know why you’re here, Dekker. I need to know why you’re so willing to die for this. It isn’t even your fight. Why the hell are you here? Is this a game? Are you working for them?”

  “No!” I was driving erratically, careening back and forth around the road.

  “Tell me! Fucking tell me why you’re still here!”

  “Because I love you, goddammit.”

  I slammed on the brakes, the back of the car sliding back and forth on the gravel, dust encompassing the car in the eerie darkness. We sat in the dead silence, and for a long time, neither of us said anything.

  “Shit,” Dekker said, speaking first.