Daughter of Magic

by Teresa Roman

  “You’re going to be fine,” Devin whispered as he stroked the back of my head. I trembled in his arms and held on to him tightly, afraid that if I loosened my grip he would be gone. My mother and Zoran stood a few feet away arguing. I didn’t want to listen. Their voices were loud and angry. I wanted to block it all out, but when Zoran started to laugh, I couldn’t help but lift my head from Devin’s chest to see what was happening.

  Zoran’s laugh matched the satisfied look on his face. He should’ve been furious with my mother for lying to him yet again, but the murderous gaze that I’d seen in his eyes earlier was gone.

  “Of course,” he said, when he realized my attention was on him. “It all makes perfect sense now. You did something to Andras. I saw it with my own eyes, but you shouldn’t have been able to. Only a powerful witch would have magic strong enough to affect a demon like him. No half-breed could have done to him what you did.”

  “What did you just say?” My mother grabbed Zoran by his arm and pulled him around to face her. “What did you to do to my daughter?”

  “Our daughter you mean,” Zoran replied angrily. “How dare you keep her from me all these years?”

  My mother stared at Zoran blankly without answering his question.

  I turned to look at Devin. “What’s happening?” I said, wanting him to tell me everything I’d just heard was a lie; that it was my temporary lack of oxygen making me hear things that weren’t really being said.

  “I don’t know.” He pressed my head into his chest like he was trying to keep me from seeing something awful, but it wasn’t what I was seeing that bothered me. It was the words that had come from my mother’s lips.

  “Lilli,” my mother called to me.

  Even though my entire body screamed in pain, I got to my feet and moved toward her, desperately hoping I’d see something in her eyes that told me the only reason she said what she did was so Zoran would spare my life.

  My mother held her hands to her chest. “I’m so sorry you had to find out this way.”

  My heart sank as I considered her words. “But it’s not true?” I said, waiting for my mother to give me a sign that she only said what she had to spare my life, but her expression didn’t change. Of course she couldn’t admit that she lied, with Zoran standing only a few feet away.

  “I wish it weren’t. I never wanted you to find out, especially like this, but I had no choice.”

  “Why now? You had eighteen years to tell him and instead you wait until he’s about to kill me,” I yelled, hoping my words would prove to everyone that it couldn’t really be true, that no mother in her right mind would let things get that far.

  “Mark was the only father you knew, the father you loved. I didn’t want to take that from you. I prayed that Zoran would never learn of you, but if somehow he did I could protect you without ever having to tell you the truth.”

  I turned back towards Devin and rested my forehead on his chest. “Tell me it’s not true,” I whispered to Devin. He didn’t answer. “Tell me she’s lying,” I demanded, my voice louder this time.

  He cupped the sides of my face and lifted my head so that my eyes could meet his. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think she is.”

  I hated the pity I saw in his eyes. I felt like I was going to be sick. The weight of everything that had happened to me over the past few weeks, was still happening, came crashing down on me.

  “NO!” I cried out, shaking my head. Devin’s hands fell to his side.

  I looked at Zoran, who still wore a smug smile on his face, then at my mother, whose sad eyes were still trained on me.

  “Tell him you lied,” I begged. “I don’t care if he tries to kill me again.”

  Death felt better than the prospect of having Zoran for a father.

  Before she could answer, Zoran spoke. “You are my child. Even if Naiara swore to me now that you weren’t, I would know it was a lie. There is much of me in you.”

  “There is nothing of you in me!”

  Pain seared through my body and it wasn’t coming from my bruised ribs. It was the pain of my heart being shredded into pieces. It was the pain of realizing that my entire life had been a lie. It was the pain of realizing that the father I loved was being replaced by a monster who tried to hand me off to a demon before trying to kill me—not once, but twice.

  Anger and agony tore through me. I released it in a piercing cry that echoed through the walls of the cave.

  Devin took a few steps back and clutched at the sides of his head as if he were in pain. He fell to his knees.

  I stumbled toward him, but he shuffled away as though he feared me.

  Of course he did. He’d fallen for me when he thought I was someone else, but now that he knew what I really was, that my father was pure evil, he didn’t want anything to do with me.

  “Devin, please.” I sank to my knees beside him. I had to convince him that I was nothing like Zoran; that I was the same person I had always been. “It’s me, Devin. I’m the same Lilli, you have to believe that.”

  “Arrghh,” Devin cried out in pain and fell to the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest like he was trying to curl himself into a ball.

  I crouched down and reached for him again. When my hand touched his arm, he looked up at me with torment in his eyes.

  “Please don’t,” he begged. “It hurts. It hurts so bad.” He began rocking his body back and forth and muttering softly, “Make it stop, make it stop.”

  “Devin, what’s happening?” Seeing him like that added to the painful mix of emotions that tore at my insides.

  He didn’t answer, but instead continued to cry out in pain. He flinched every time I reached for him.

  I stood and turned toward Zoran who was still standing a few feet away. No longer arguing with my mother, he just stared at me with a look in his eyes I couldn’t decipher. I grabbed him by his wrist. “What are you doing to him?” I demanded, angrily.

  Like Andras earlier and now Devin, Zoran also fell to his knees. He clutched at his chest and cried out. He began to mutter words that were so broken and anguished that I couldn’t recognize them.

  Devin and Zoran seemed to be under some sort of spell, but how? I glanced at my mother. She was silent and still on her feet. It had to be her.

  “What’s happening to them?” I cried.

  “I’m fighting it,” she said with a pained expression on her face, “but I can feel it, too. I’ve never been affected by magic this way before.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, stifling the urge to scream.

  “You’re the one who’s doing this, Lilli.”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  “You must be some sort of reverse empath,” my mother said with a mixture of confusion and awe. “You’re casting your emotions outward.” She pointed to Devin and Zoran who still sat huddled on the ground. “They feel what you’re feeling, all the pain, all the rage, but it’s too much for them to bear, because the emotions belong to you, not them.”

  “You’re lying.”

  I refused to believe I could cause that much pain to anyone. My mother was right about one thing though. My blood was boiling with rage, and it coursed through my body with every beat of my heart. I could feel it, taste it. “Is that the only thing you know how to do, lie?”

  “Listen.” She took a few steps toward me, but stopped suddenly and clutched at her chest. After a moment she seemed to recover. “Being here, in the Void, it makes magic unpredictable, sometimes magnifying power, sometimes sapping it away completely. You have to get out of here. It’s the only way to make this stop. Now! I’ll find you wherever you go, I’ll come to you and I’ll help you, but you must calm down first.”

  “How am I supposed to leave? If you haven’t noticed yet we’re in a cave and there is no way out, believe me, I tried looking for one.”

  “Use your power, Lilli.”

  “I can’t teleport.”

  “Yes, you can. All you need to do is close you
r eyes and focus. Decide where you want to be, and your magic will take you there.”

  “You don’t get it. Zoran put some sort of blocking spell on me . . .”

  “The spell won’t hold with him in this state, and your magic is stronger than his. That blocking spell can’t keep you here.”

  “I don’t believe you. I can’t teleport out of here and I can’t make people feel anything. It’s not possible.” I started to inch towards Devin to prove to myself and my mother that whatever was happening, it wasn’t because of me. I didn’t want to believe I was capable of causing the pain I saw etched on his face.

  He howled as I approached.

  “Lilli, please. I know you love him. He loves you too, but you’re hurting him now, whether you want to be or not.”

  I gritted my teeth. “You did this to me.”

  “You need to try and calm down . . .”

  “Calm down? How am I supposed to do that?” Tears streamed down my face. My chest felt full of daggers that were stabbing me in every direction. Everything in the world that ever meant anything to me was lost.

  Out of nowhere, the ground beneath me swayed. Dust and debris rained down from the top of the cave. A crack formed in the ground.

  “What the hell!”

  “You need to go now, before these walls fall down on us. It’s you who’s doing this, your emotions, your mind, your power. If you don’t leave now, we’ll all be buried here.”

  More dust and rocks fell. A part of me wanted to argue with my mother and insist she was wrong, but what if she wasn’t? Anger and pain emanated from me uncontrollably and I knew that she spoke the truth. I’d get us all killed if I couldn’t control my power.

  There wasn’t enough time for me to try and fail. I needed to get out of the cave before I did any more damage. So I closed my eyes. With all the emotions churning inside of me, it was hard to focus. I didn’t even know where I wanted to go, but I knew who I wanted to be with. My father, my real father, the one who, for as long as I remembered, always found a way to make things better. I saw his face in my mind, his soft sandy hair and his hazel eyes that sparkled when he smiled, and for a second I felt lighter. A moment later I could feel my body shift as I teleported.

  Chapter 30

  The sense of vertigo wasn’t as bad this time. Still, I waited to open my eyes until I was sure that I wouldn’t keel over. When I did, I found myself in a grassy field dotted with headstones. It took me a moment to realize I had wound up in the cemetery, of all places. I’d been thinking of my father and somehow teleported to his headstone.

  I walked toward my father’s headstone and rested my hand on the cold granite. “Oh Dad,” I murmured, “You don’t know how badly I wish you were still here.” The words choked in my throat. “I miss you so much. You don’t know how much I need you right now. I know you said you believed in me, but you were wrong. My life is a mess, and everything’s backwards.” I sank to my knees and leaned my head forward until it was almost touching the headstone. With all the crying I had already done, I was sure I wouldn’t have any more tears left, but somehow I did.

  I lay down on the warm grass in front of my dad’s headstone, overcome with sadness and a sense of isolation. I couldn’t stand the way I was feeling. The grass under me started to wither and turn yellow and I gasped in shock.

  What is happening?

  I needed to pull myself together, so I closed my eyes and took long, deep breathes. My mother should’ve kept her secret. Her confession had saved my life, but maybe my life wasn’t worth saving. I’d already lost the only parent I ever knew, and now Devin. What was I even going to do with the rest of my life? My ability would make being around me dangerous. I’d be forced to live my life cooped up inside like a crazy lady.

  Eventually, my deep breathing worked and I began to calm down. To my relief, the grass started to turn green again.

  I was so very, very tired. In the past two days I’d barely slept, and it had finally caught up with me. I thought to myself that I should go home, get cleaned up, rest and eat, but I wasn’t sure how to get there. I’d managed to teleport to my father’s grave by thinking of him, but I hadn’t planned on the cemetery as my destination. I worried about where I’d wind up if I tried to teleport again. The last thing I needed was to appear in front of people who would totally freak out and who I might accidentally hurt. I had no car with me, no money, and the battery on my phone was dead.

  Too tired to come up with a plan, I just lay there. Eventually I’d figure out what to do.

  When I opened my eyes sometime later, I was no longer at the cemetery. Somehow I’d managed to make it back home and onto my couch. I sat up, confused and afraid.

  “Lilli, it’s okay. I’m here.” My mother was coming from the kitchen with a cup of tea in her hands. She handed me the cup before kneeling down in front of the couch. “Drink. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  “How did I get here?” I took the tea, but I didn’t feel like drinking, so I set it down on the side table.

  “You fell asleep in front of your father’s grave. I found you and brought you here.”

  “He’s not my father,” I said blankly.

  “He’s your father in every way that matters.” My mother reached out to stroke my hair.

  “No, he’s not,” I said, unable to keep the sadness out of my voice.

  “You’re angry with me?” The way my mother said it made it sound more like a question than a statement, and I wondered how she could think I would feel any other way.

  I got off the couch and took a few wobbly steps. She looked upset, but I was too tired and angry to care about her feelings. “Thank you for finding me and bringing me back home, but right now I just want to be alone.”

  “I know you’ve been though a lot, but we need to talk . . .”

  “I don’t need anything from you.” I turned my back on my mother and crossed my arms.

  “Lilli . . .”

  And then, because curiosity got the better of me, I turned to ask, “Actually, there is one thing I want to know. Why would you lie about who my father was when you knew what Zoran would do to me? Why did you leave me behind when you could’ve brought me to the Wilds with you?”

  “My vision,” my mother replied so quietly I wasn’t sure I heard her right.

  “What vision?” I asked.

  My mother combed her hands through her hair. “The one where I watched you die.”

  Chapter 31

  That was not the answer I’d expected.

  “Excuse me?”

  My mother sighed. “Like most witches, I got my ability when I was around the age you are now. Ever since I had my first vision, I’ve wondered whether seeing is blessing or a curse. I suppose it’s probably a bit of both.”

  I sat on the edge of the coffee table as she spoke. “They say that together two powerful witches create an even more powerful child.” My mother gave me a weak smile. “That was why my parents and Zoran’s arranged for our marriage while we were still in our cradles. I know the idea of an arranged marriage probably sounds horrifying to you, but these arrangements are not unusual among the families of the more powerful witches. Zoran and I grew up together. He was handsome, funny, daring, and brave, and I was in awe of him. He was so young when his father died. His mother didn’t know how to be there for him, so I was the one who comforted him. But something about Zoran always scared me a little. Still, I thought I was meant to save him, that I could keep the darkness inside him at bay. Until I started having visions of him with his hands around my neck.”

  My mother pressed her palm to her forehead and took a deep breath before continuing. “I tried convincing myself that my mind was playing tricks on me, that Zoran loved me, and there was no way he would hurt me, but the visions kept coming, and the more they did, the clearer they became. Eventually, I realized I wasn’t seeing Zoran trying to kill me. I was seeing you, the child I would one day have with him. I realized what it meant—that one day he’d give in to
the darkness I’d always sensed in him.”

  My mother’s confession had my head spinning.

  “Once I grasped what I was seeing, I became determined to change the future. Witches don’t have a lot of children. Many try for years before they’re able to have even one. Still, I didn’t want to take any chances, so I visited a witch skilled in tonics to ask her to make a potion to keep me from getting pregnant. She laughed and told me it was too late, that I already had a child growing inside me. I’d only been with Zoran once, it didn’t seem possible, but if it was, I knew I couldn’t let him know. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I no longer wanted to marry Zoran after what I’d seen him do in my visions. That was when I decided to run away. Without a word to anyone, I fled from the Wilds and found my way to the last place anyone would think to look for me.”

  “The human world—Crescent City?”

  My mother nodded. “I met Mark only a few days after leaving the Wilds. He was on one of his morning jogs and practically ran into me. I loved him from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I know most humans laugh at the notion of love at first sight, but your father was different. Before I left the Wilds, I thought I was love in Zoran, but your father taught me what real love was supposed to feel like. I kept praying that the witch who’d told me I was pregnant had been wrong, but soon enough I realized she wasn’t. Eventually, I had no choice but to tell Mark. As soon as the words ‘I’m pregnant’ came out of my mouth, your father was so overjoyed that I couldn’t bring myself to ruin things. He assumed the baby I was carrying was his. The two of us hadn’t been together long, but he wanted to have a baby with me.”

  “That doesn’t make it right,” I said, shaking my head. “You say you loved him, but you lied to him. You let him think that he was my father when he wasn’t.”

  “He was a good father to you, wasn’t he?” my mother said. “I can see that you don’t approve of what I did, but everything would have been fine if only Dara hadn’t found me. I bound your powers so that you’d never know about the Wilds or being a witch. I wanted a normal life for you. One without the constant battle between darkness and light that we face in the Wilds. And one where you wouldn’t be forced into a marriage you didn’t want.”