The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Three: Crown of Ice

by Melissa Collins

  Following Edric’s lead Ehren dragged his feet, moving tiredly across the snow toward camp. “That is disappointing,” he frowned, shifting his gaze to the ground. “One would expect a member of our military to conduct themselves in a more favorable manner.”

  “We would like to think our soldiers behave in a more respectable fashion, but that’s not always the case. I’m not saying you are disallowed from her company. I merely suggest you not let her anywhere near you while the two of you are alone. If you desire a game of dice, see if Gadiel would like to join you – or some of the other men. Make it a social gathering. It might be good for morale if the soldiers are able to fraternize a bit with a member of the royal family.”

  “What about you? I wouldn’t mind your company for the game. You could help keep an eye out for me.”

  “Sahra and I are not on speaking terms. Trust me on this. My presence would hinder the enjoyment of the game rather than help it.” The cold was starting to settle over him again. Every step he took kicked up the snow around them, causing the flakes to fall inside his boots, chilling his feet as the cold mingled with the sweat soaking his socks. He wanted nothing more than to get back to the privacy of his tent and change into something dryer for the sake of preventing illness. At the same time he wanted to accompany his brother. Ehren would be safer from Sahra if Edric was there to make sure she behaved in a manner befitting of a lady. “I might stop by later,” he conceded, grateful for the sight of the tents coming into view ahead. “Find Callum and Gadiel. If you tell them that I requested they join you, they will understand my reasons and will not argue.”

  His voice trailed off, distracted to notice a familiar figure standing amidst the tents, the slender curve of her shape bringing a wash of emotions over Edric that he hadn’t felt in weeks. Neomi. She was undeniable, the long strands of her snowy hair fluttering about her face in the soft breeze. Her eyes seemed to flash, their icy blue light registering Edric’s presence before turning to duck behind the sturdy fabric. Without thinking he broke away from Ehren, hastening his steps toward where she had been.

  “Edric!” He could hear Ehren shouting from behind, the sound of footsteps hurrying across the snow. “Edric, stop!”

  Briefly he came to pause, glancing over his shoulder at his brother. Had he seen her? Was she really there or was he imagining things? “Ehren, you go ahead and find the others. I promise I’ll meet up with you later.”

  “Edric, what are you doing? You know the Chief gave orders that you and Callum are not to go near Moinie or Okivra’s daughter until a verdict is reached regarding the events in Isavo. The General would not approve of this.”

  So he wasn’t hallucinating. Ehren had seen her as well. It was the only reason for him to argue Edric’s sudden change in direction. But that meant she was there. Awake. Capable of moving about on her own. Until now he was under the impression that she remained unconscious under the care of her father. “Don’t worry about me,” he said in hushed tones, moving to turn away from Ehren to follow where Neomi had gone. His progress was halted by his brother’s hand firmly clasping his bicep, holding him back with little effort. Surprised, Edric stared at Ehren’s fingers around his arm, impressed by the strength he possessed.

  “I’m here because the General is worried about you. He told me to watch you and make sure you kept your distance from the Chief ’s daughter.”

  “I will keep my distance. Give me five minutes, Ehren. I just need to speak with her.”

  “Then let me come with you. It would not be wise for the two of you to be seen in the private company of one another.”

  “No,” he shook his head, adamant in his decision. What he wanted to say to Neomi needed to be done without anyone else there. No one would understand his intentions. This was something he had to do alone. “Go find Callum and Gadiel. Meet me back at the command tent. I promise you – I will be there when you return.”

  Giving a hard shake of his arm Edric forced his brother’s hand away, hurrying out of his reach before he could grasp for him again. Ehren wouldn’t dare to follow. He was too uncertain about the situation they were in. His inexperience worked to Edric’s benefit. Taking a few steps toward the tents Edric paused, listening to make sure Ehren wasn’t following, content with the silence he heard. Good. He would have a brief window to speak with Neomi… if he could find her. She had to have been looking for him. There was no other reason for her to be hiding in the Vor’shai camp.

  As he rounded the corner he let out a breath of relief to see her standing there, pressed tightly against the tent to avoid notice from anyone else who might happen by. They were well-concealed, the area deserted while the soldiers remained on the field with Callum and Gadiel. It wouldn’t be long before the men started to venture back, but for now they would be safe to roam as they desired. “Neomi,” he smiled, reaching for her, desperate to feel her in his arms. His confidence faltered to see her step away, shaking her head at him in disapproval.

  “Not here.”

  It was a simple statement. One which Edric couldn’t argue. It would be best if they sought shelter inside one of the tents. “Come with me,” he nodded, offering his hand to her. She stared down at it, inching away from him to avoid coming into contact with his body, averting her eyes from his. Unsure of how to react Edric shifted his weight. This was not the greeting he expected after the length of time they had been separated. Fear began to creep into his heart at what might be causing her strange behavior. But they would have time to discuss that once they were safely hidden away.

  Although he spent most of his time in the command tent with the others, Edric retained a private shelter near the back of the camp. A place for him to go when he needed time alone with his thoughts. Making sure she was behind him, he crept between the tents, peering down each opening before crossing behind the fabric structures, not wanting to risk the eyes of anyone finding them together. Once at the entrance to his tent Edric motioned for Neomi to slip inside, waiting for a moment before following.

  Inside he became more aware of the distance between him and Neomi. She looked pale and drawn, the gentleness of her features hardened by some emotion he couldn’t place. He wanted nothing more than to go to her. To wrap his arms around her and tell her how happy he was to see she was safe. Every night had been torture since discovering her body, crushed and beaten, barely containing a single spark of life. He had dreamt of their reunion every time he closed his eyes. Somehow this was nothing like he envisioned.

  It didn’t matter. He knew what he wanted to say. Against Cadell’s counsel, he refused to let their heritage keep them apart. He didn’t care if that meant running away from the palace in Tanispa and living in seclusion somewhere in the mountains. As long as Neomi was with him, he would be happy.

  Letting his eyes trail down to his hand, he reached for the ring he wore, the diamonds within the Levadis crest sparkling brilliantly, even in the dim light which filtered in through the fabric walls. It was far from the custom of betrothal but he didn’t care. The ring would symbolize his promise to her until the time came when they could seek a priest to perform the ceremony.

  “Neomi, there is something I would like to give you –”

  “Edric, stop,” she raised her hand, placing it between them to prevent him from coming any closer. He stared at her, taken aback by the sharpness of her tone. Why would she not let him near her? They were alone. No one was there to see them.

  “Please,” he whispered. “I have spent weeks fearing the worst in regards to your health. Can you not let me hold you? Just for a moment?”

  “No. I cannot. It was not my intention to come here and lead you on. I fear that is all I would be doing if I let you touch me.”

  “I know our situation is precarious –”

  “We do not have a situation, Edric. I realize now my mistake in the things I have done. You must accept my apologies and understand that it was never my intent to do anything which would bring you pain. All I can do now is be h
onest with you in hopes that it will ease your suffering in time.”

  His head was swimming. She wasn’t making sense. He moved forward to press against her outstretched hand. Gently he forced it down, wrapping his arms around her waist. His face contorted into a look of utter confusion to feel her struggle under his embrace, turning to avoid his desperate gaze. “Have I done something to offend you?” he asked, pleading with her to stay close. It took little effort to convince her to stay still, drawing her in closer, aware of the stiffness in her muscles as he tried to hold her against him. She was nothing more than a statue in his arms, unbending and unrelenting in her stubbornness.

  She was quiet at first. Contemplating her words carefully before speaking them out loud. When her voice finally broke the silence, it came cool and empty to Edric’s ears, devoid of the emotion he remembered hearing in her tone the morning they parted ways from his bed in Isavo. “I made a mistake in coming to your quarters. It was nothing more than a childish curiosity in the mind of a woman who knew nothing of men outside her own people. I falsely led you into believing there was a chance out of my own selfish desires, and I am left with no choice but to tell you goodbye. My father has arranged a union between myself and Enapo which is to be carried out immediately upon the defeat of the Avaern. It is my hope that you will understand and forgive me if I have led you into feeling something more.”

  Edric’s jaw fell in disbelief, not wanting to accept what was being presented. She felt nothing for him? How was that possible? He had seen the emotions in her eyes that day he pled with her not to chase after the Avaern. There was no denying the passion in her embrace or the desire that had radiated between them whenever their lips came together. “You don’t mean that,” he shook his head in defiance. “I know you better than that, Neomi. Why must you come here and tell me these lies?”

  “My people do not lie…”

  “Yes they do!” he shouted, drawing her in closer. He wouldn’t let her go. He didn’t believe it was what she wanted. “Do you say these things because you think it will be better for me? Are you trying to protect me? If so, then you should know it is not necessary. I’m willing to take whatever risk is required.”

  “You will take your hands off me. I am promised to another. My coming here was enough of a mistake without adding further offense.”

  Overcome with emotion Edric pulled her closer, pressing his lips against hers. He had to know. He had to feel it in her kiss to believe that there was nothing there. From under his arms he could hear a soft cry escape her. She sank against him, the sensation brief before stiffening again, the palms of her hands lying flat against Edric’s chest to push him away. Afraid of hurting her, he released his hold, staring back at her in horrified disbelief. “How can you say these things?” he gasped. “Neomi, you cannot deny what we shared. I… I love you.”

  “Then stop.” Her response was simple. Harsh. Shaken from his advances she straightened her shirt, breathing heavily. She refused to meet his eyes. Moving forward he tried to force his way into her line of sight, met only by the constant motion of her head to divert her gaze, lifting her chin defiantly while her eyes rolled upward to stare at the top of his head, intentionally fighting against his stare. “Please do not let this interfere with the alliance between your people and mine. My family strives to see it strengthened through victory.”

  “This has nothing to do with the alliance between our people…”

  “Good,” she nodded, pushing past Edric to move swiftly toward the exit. “I look forward to working with you in the future. I will be sure to extend an invitation for your family to attend the nuptials if it would not be out of line for me to do so.”

  He was fighting against himself to contain the wash of feelings that rushed over him, barely taking in what she was saying. An invitation to the nuptials? He knew she was capable of being heartless but this… this went beyond anything he believed she could possibly do to him. “Out of line?” he exhaled, clenching his fists angrily at his sides. “Damn it, Neomi! How can you say that? Do you take pleasure in rubbing my face in the fact that I let you take me for a fool? I thought you were different. I thought you were above this.”

  “I am not familiar with ceremony. You know this. If your family would be insulted by an invitation then I will refrain from sending one.”

  “Insulted? That might be one way of putting it,” he scoffed. “Fine. Go ahead and extend your invitation if you like. Perhaps you could send along a blade for me to run myself through with while you’re at it. To spare you the whispers which run rampant behind our backs. Is that what this is about? Are you afraid of the rumors? Do they taint your reputation so much that you feel the need to make such a fool out of me?”

  “This is not about the rumors.”

  “Then what is it? Because I refuse to accept that this meant nothing to you.”

  “You can accept what you like. I have told you where I stand and your harsh words can do nothing to change my decision. It was a mistake, Edric. One which I do not hold you accountable for.”

  “You and I spoke of love. How can you now twist that into nothing?”

  “I have no experience with love. We discussed an emotion which means nothing to my people. How many times must I explain this to you before you will understand?”

  “Once more,” he stated firmly, stepping in front of Neomi to block her path to the door. He wasn’t going to let her off so easily. He wanted to hear it from her lips. Without question. “Tell me that you do not love me, Neomi. Say it. And look me in the eyes when you do. Only a coward would do the things you have done and then deny me the honor of meeting your gaze.”

  Her body shifted as if to push past him again, stopped by his quick reflexes, stepping to the side, arms extended, preventing her from getting by. She inhaled sharply, the glow of her eyes lifting to meet his before turning away again, gritting her teeth in frustration. He was getting to her. It was evident in the way she carried herself. The confidence he was used to seeing in her posture was gone. In that moment he sensed fear in her, the tip of her finger revealing a slight tremble as she brought it up to command him out of her way. “Let me pass, Edric. I am only willing to tolerate so much before I will call for you to be taken into custody for your inappropriate advances.”

  “Then take me into custody. I’m not going to concede until you tell me that you do not love me.”

  The light in Neomi’s eyes flickered, dimming slightly as she struggled to meet Edric’s insistent gaze. Holding steady she opened her mouth, drawing in a breath to speak, a noticeable quiver to her lower the lip the only outward indication visible to reveal her hesitation. Silence hung heavy between the two of them until she managed to find her voice, swallowing hard. “I… do not love you, Edric. Now let me pass.”

  In that instant it was as if the world came crashing down around him. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. Coherent thoughts were impossible, the words stringing together unintelligibly as he fought to take in what was happening. She didn’t love him. He didn’t think she would be able to say it. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t maintain his gaze after the words were spoken, slinking past him toward the door. His heart told him to stop her but his mind wouldn’t let him. He had promised to let her go if she admitted to having no feelings for him… and she had. There was nothing left for him to do but let her leave.

  His eyes lowered to the floor in disbelief. He didn’t know what to do. The pain in his chest was unbearable. So many times he thought he had felt his heart broken before but this… nothing compared to the power of those words that had come from Neomi’s lips. It was like a dagger being driven straight through his chest, knocking the wind from his lungs until he could no longer breathe. Clutching at his chest he listened to the sound of the flap falling shut behind Neomi, signaling her departure, leaving him alone with his misery. And to think you were going to propose marriage. He felt like such a fool! Had he really been so blind? Was he so desperate to feel something that h
e fabricated the emotions in his mind? No. It had been real. He had to believe that his love for her was reciprocated at one time.

  Spinning around he stared at the exit, fighting to draw air into his lungs. Reflexively he pushed through the opening into the cold afternoon wind, searching wildly for where she had gone. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he found her but something inside told him not to let her go. But she was already gone. The only thing left to remind him of her presence was the faint tracks from her boots in the snow, disappearing into the distance where they wove between the tents to avoid detection. It was over. She had made herself clear in that. Chasing after her would accomplish nothing but adding to the rumors already circulating. Clenching his hand into a fist he stared down at the ring on his finger, chiding himself for having considered offering her something so precious. He had been willing to give up everything for her. And even in light of her admission, he somehow still felt the same. She was worth any sacrifice the gods required. Someday he would make her see that such feelings could not be forgotten. Maybe then she would understand what it meant to love. He could only hope that when the time came, it would not be too late.

  Ignoring the curious stares of the warriors in the village Neomi hurried toward the entrance of her home, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, praying silently that she could keep her composure until she reached the privacy of her room. She felt ill. The unusual sting had begun to build in her eyes, leaving her uncomfortable. Vulnerable. She couldn’t let anyone see her in this condition. It would be easy enough to pass the misery off as being from the lingering wounds she suffered but in her heart she knew the truth. The injuries to her body no longer pained her. What she felt now was something completely different. Nonphysical. It struck her deeper than any blade could possibly embed itself.