Give in to Me

by K. M. Scott

  I got no response.

  Daryl and Varo were waiting for me outside the house when I pulled up, their faces telling the story I didn’t want to know. Stepping out of the car, I asked, “Nothing? You’ve got no clue where she is?”

  “Nothing yet,” Daryl said nonchalantly as he tugged on his beard, betraying how worried he really was. “What took you so long? I figured you’d be driving at the speed of light.”

  Varo said nothing, but I could tell he had something on his mind. “You seem to want to say something. Speak up,” I ordered.

  “I think you might have been right about West. I’ve been thinking about how he acted today at lunch. He was angry about having lunch with Nina and Jordan. She was playing matchmaker, so I figured he was annoyed about that, but now that he’s vanished, maybe it was more.”

  Daryl spoke up before I could. “What do you mean more? Did he have something against Nina?”

  Shaking his head, Varo frowned. “Not so much something against her but something’s been bothering him for weeks. I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s different.”

  “Something’s bothering him? Something’s different? What the fuck does that mean? Are you saying he wants to hurt Nina?” I bellowed as fear tore through my body. West may have been the older of the two bodyguards, but she was no match against him. He could subdue her in seconds and she’d be gone.

  “No, no. I just mean he seemed more resentful of things once I moved into the house. Even though it was only for a short time, I think he had a problem with that. I just can’t imagine he’d hurt her, though. If anything, I got the feeling his problem was with you, Mr. Stone.”

  “Have you tried calling her?” Daryl asked, easing the tension around us only slightly.

  “No,” I answered, shaking my head. “Only texts.”

  “What the fuck is with your generation? A phone is for talking. You know, with your voice? You think she wants to hear from you through misspelled words? She wants to hear you, man. Call her.”

  Maybe he was right. I took my phone out and pressed 1. Her phone rang, which was a good sign. At least I could still believe it was turned on and still with her. By the fourth ring, I’d all but given up on her answering, but then I heard her voice so full of sadness say my name.

  “Tristan.”

  I turned away from Daryl and Varo and walked behind the car. “Nina, I’m sorry. Please tell me where you are so I can come to you.”

  “No, not this time, Tristan. I needed you to tell me the truth and you broke your promise. I can’t do this anymore.”

  Her voice was barely more than a whisper. I pressed the phone hard to my ear to hear her, even as I dreaded her next words. “I know I messed up. I know. But you don’t know the truth. I need you to know that.”

  With tears in her words, she spoke the worst thing I’d ever heard. “You’ve made sure I can live a comfortable life. Not happy, but secure. I just can’t do this with you anymore. Maybe if I’d been brought up in your world, but I wasn’t. I’m still that middle class girl, no matter how much the clothes I wear or the house I live in costs.”

  “Nina, don’t hang up! Tell me where you are. Let me explain. Don’t let everything we’ve been through mean nothing,” I pleaded, knowing I had only the slightest chance of changing her mind.

  “I can’t. I love you, but we’re just no good together. Goodbye, Tristan.”

  “Nina! Nina!” I screamed into the phone, but it was no use. She was gone.

  Hanging my head, I struggled to know what to do next. I had no idea where she was, and she didn’t want to see me anymore. To her, we were over.

  “Tristan, what did she say?” Daryl asked behind me, but I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t admit I’d finally lost her. “Tristan, did she tell you where she was?”

  I shook my head and turned to face him and Varo. “No.”

  “Then we can use the GPS tracking software to find out.”

  “What? I don’t have that on our phones.”

  Daryl smiled and for the first time since I returned, stopped pulling on his damn beard. “I’d hoped she would willingly tell you where she was, but when love doesn’t do the job, technology can. I had it installed on her phone right after you left. I figured that way if she was ever in trouble, we could find her.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “You’re not kidding? Then show me how the hell I find out.”

  Slipping his phone out of his pocket, Daryl tapped his finger on the screen a dozen times and turned the screen to face me. “Time for a little trip. Better get that plane of yours revved up.”

  I leaned forward to read the words in front of me.

  Venice, Italy.

  Daryl grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Don’t you love technology?”

  “Damnit, Daryl. I should have you put that on my phone.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Tristan

  I left Varo at the hotel and set out to find Nina, unable to track her down to any specific place in Venice after she turned off her phone. Unsure of where to begin, I let my feet take me back to the one place in the city other than our hotel room that meant anything to me.

  The Piazza San Marco.

  It was midday by the time I reached the square. Tourists milled about snapping pictures from every vantage point possible as artisans and vendors hawked their wares to eager buyers. I paced every inch of the piazza, my eyes scanning every arch and hidden corner, but I saw no sight of her.

  This place was haunted with memories of a time when Nina and I were happy. I wanted to believe we were happy then. Maybe we’d never truly been happy because I’d never been completely honest with her. If so, I was to blame for any sadness she’d felt because she’d been with me.

  I could change that, though. I had to believe that or my being there in that place where I’d finally realized I could tell her how much I loved her was all for nothing.

  Hours passed as I sat watching families move through the square, parents chasing after young children who hopped and skipped on their way over the stone pavers oblivious to the flocks of birds they disturbed as they played. The sun traveled in its natural path across the sky until I’d sat there long enough to see the last rays of its light as it began to set behind the Museo Civico Correr. Nina had told me about the museum’s paintings, in particular one that even though it had been painted centuries ago showed the city as nearly the same as it stood today.

  As I replayed her sweet attempt to educate me on Venice’s art treasures, I caught a glimpse of her through an archway walking down the arcade. She wore her hair pinned up in a bun, but I’d know the shape of her beautiful face anywhere. I bolted from my seat and ran toward her, losing her when a crowd of school children paraded hand-in-hand in front of me. By the time I’d navigated around them, she was gone.

  Frustrated, I scanned the area for any sight of her, finally accepting I might not see her that day. I could wait, but if Karl knew she was alone in Venice, every second she wasn’t with me meant she was in danger. I needed to find her.

  The final minutes of daylight highlighted the colorful mosaics on the Basilica di San Marco, and I stared in newfound awe at them, seeing for the first time what Nina had explained about them. The arches and columns of the basilica stood as they had for centuries, tributes to the Gothic style of the Middle Ages. I’d known none of this until Nina.

  The crowds began to thin as people left the square for dinner and other parts of the city. I hadn’t given up hope, though. If I had to search every square inch of Venice all night, then I would.

  “You can’t do this, Tristan.”

  I turned to see her standing behind me, looking more beautiful than I’d ever seen her, even in jeans and a T-shirt with her hair pulled up. “I can’t do anything else. If you won’t come with me because you love me, then come with me so I can keep you safe.”

  Sadly, she shook her head. “I have to learn to live on my own, Tristan. I can’t do that if I go with you.” />
  “I don’t know if Karl knows you’re here. West is missing, so I don’t know if he’s a danger to you.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I have to go.”

  She turned to walk away, but I grabbed her forearm to stop her. “Don’t do this. Let me explain, at least. Give me the chance to show you how much I love you.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she looked away. “I know you love me, Tristan. I’ve never doubted that, strangely enough. I just can’t be with someone who won’t be truthful with me, no matter how difficult it is for him.”

  “Look at me, Nina.” She shook her head, but I gently pulled her by the chin so she was forced to face me. “Look at me. I know I was wrong, but I never meant to deceive you about Melissa’s death. I know that doesn’t make what I did right. I know.”

  “Do you ever wonder why we can’t just seem to be happy? Why there always seems to be something that ruins what we have?”

  Quietly, I admitted the truth. “No. I know why. It’s me. I’m fucked up. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you more than even you believe, though.”

  Cradling my face in her hands, she looked up at me with love in her eyes. “What am I supposed to do? We keep messing this up. Maybe we’re just not meant to be, no matter how much both of us want to be together.”

  “I can’t believe that. I’ve never loved anyone before I met you. I can’t believe you’d be sent to me just to show me I don’t deserve to be loved. I won’t believe that.”

  Her hands slid from my cheeks as she hung her head. “Sometimes it’s just not meant to be, Tristan. It’s not that I don’t love you. I’ll always love you. We just can’t seem to get it right.”

  I clutched her wrists gently, afraid if I didn’t keep hold of some part of her she’d run away and I’d lose her forever. “I know, but give me another chance. Let me show you I can be the man you deserve.” Nina tried to back away from me, shaking her head, but I saw something in her eyes that told me there was a chance. I couldn’t let that chance slip away. “Hear me out. Listen to what I have to say and then listen to your heart.”

  Nina stood silently staring at me and finally gave me a tiny nod. “Okay. I want to know everything.”

  “Everything. I promise. Just as soon as we return to the hotel, I’ll tell you all of it.”

  Nina slipped her hands from my hold and shook her head. “No. Right here. I believe you bared your soul to me the last time we were here. I want you to do that now. Tell me everything about the worst I believe about you here near that very spot you told me you loved me and couldn’t live without me.”

  “Fine. I’ll tell you everything.”

  We found a bench and I took a deep breath. “Her name was Melissa and she died because I didn’t take care of her. But Kim was wrong. I’m not a murderer. Melissa died from an overdose of prescription drugs and cocaine. That’s why the charges were dropped and I never went to trial.”

  Nina grimaced like she was in pain. “Did you love her?”

  I thought about her question and hesitated. I wasn’t in love with Melissa that night or any other night, but did that mean I didn’t have a responsibility to her? I had to tell Nina the truth, no matter how it made me look.

  “I don’t think I was capable of love when I knew Melissa. That man thought only of his wants and desires without any care for what others needed. I wasn’t even a man then. I looked like one, but I didn’t act like one. A man would have taken more care with her.”

  “Were you with her?” Nina asked sharply, her voice full of condemnation.

  “Yeah,” I said, nodding.

  “But you didn’t care for her?”

  “I cared for her enough to sleep with her and use the drugs she got me, but no, I didn’t care for her like I care for you. I was a selfish boy who took what he wanted and didn’t give a damn about what she wanted.”

  Nina’s eyes searched mine. “What did she want, Tristan? Did she want you?”

  “She wanted me to love her like she loved me.”

  There in that one statement was the indictment I deserved. A confused girl who only wanted me to love her got nothing but my callousness in return for all she gave me. And now I risked losing the woman I loved because of how I acted then.

  “I think I know what she felt. You don’t understand what you do, Tristan. You say so little that someone who loves you has to fill in the blanks, so of course, we fill them in with what we hope you feel. Only she was wrong. She hoped you’d love her, but you didn’t. I want to believe you love me, but how do I know? You kept secrets from me. You left me alone for months and never answered my messages. You don’t know how painful that was.”

  I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips in a kiss. “I know. I’m sorry. I thought that was the only way to keep you safe. I never meant to hurt you. The man I am now is sickened by how I treated Melissa. But I can’t change that. All I can tell you is that I wasn’t guilty of murdering her. If I was guilty of anything, it was carelessness with her. That’s all.”

  “You say that like it’s some small thing. Like being careless with someone’s heart is a minor offense. That girl loved you, Tristan, and what did she get in return? Nothing. No, well, she got to spend time with you. That’s something, I guess.”

  Nina’s eyes flashed her anger at me as her words cut me down to size. If she wanted me humbled, she was doing a damn good job at it. “I can’t change that, Nina. All I can promise is that I’m not that person anymore. I love you—completely and more than even I thought I could.”

  “You know what? I’m tired of hearing that you can’t change that. Someone loved you and she died because you didn’t care. That’s the truth of it. You didn’t care enough for her and she died. Maybe it wasn’t your fault, but the way you treated her was. I’m just not sure I want to risk my heart on you anymore.”

  Angrier than I’d ever seen her, she stood to leave—leave me, leave us. I couldn’t let her. I had to make her see what we had was worth fighting for. Forcing her back down onto the bench, I dropped to my knees in front of her, knowing this was my last chance to convince her to listen to her heart.

  “You promised me you’d never leave. You promised you were mine forever. Stay with me. Don’t be like the person I was. Do what your heart tells you instead of what your head says. I love you. I always have. I can’t do this without you.”

  “I’m sorry. I am. I just don’t know.”

  Her words were like knives to my heart, each one plunging in and carving me up. “No! I can’t believe that. I won’t believe that. You love me like I love you. You take up every inch of brain, pushing out everything else. I can’t live without you. I know I should have said these things every day, but I’m saying them now. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. The months away nearly killed me. We promised each other no more leaving. Stay. Let me show you the kind of man I am because of you.”

  Her hand slowly caressed my cheek as a tear rolled down hers. “How can I know you won’t hurt me like you did her?”

  I leaned into her palm and looked up into that beautiful, sad face. “I love you. If I ever do hurt you, it won’t be because I don’t care. Don’t let everything we’ve gone through be for nothing. I swear to cherish you like you deserve, and someday I promise you’ll see I’ll be the kind of man who deserves you.”

  Nina closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, I saw my last chance had passed. As I waited to hear her answer, I held my breath, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. When she shook her head, I thought all was lost, but then she spoke and I heard the sweetest words in the English language.

  “For a guy who doesn’t say a lot, you sure do know how to say exactly what a girl needs to hear. I love you. I don’t want to imagine my world without you, Tristan. I thought I could live without you, but I don’t want to.”

  Rising to my feet, I took the woman I loved in my arms and kissed her in front of the whole world to show everyone she was mine and I was hers. As I held her in my arms, I whis
pered, “No more secrets, no more time apart. From this point on, I’m making it my job to make sure you’re the happiest woman in the world.”

  Nina smiled up at me and held my chin between her thumb and forefinger. “You better.”

  Taking her left hand in mine, I turned it over and saw the engagement ring I’d given her. “I see you didn’t take the ring off.”

  She let out a deep sigh and shrugged. “I guess I just wasn’t ready to really be done with you, after all.”

  I’d made sure when I checked into the hotel that I’d gotten the same room Nina and I had the last time we traveled to Venice. She needed to know that time had meant everything to me. I might not be able to say the right words, but maybe I could show her I truly couldn’t live without her.

  Candles flickered in glass containers placed around the room, giving the suite a magical feeling. Nina looked around the rooms like she had the first time, her eyes full of wonder as she admired what I owned. “It’s just as beautiful now as it was the last time we were here, Tristan.”

  Sliding my hands over her shoulders, I whispered, “All for you. Everything I own is yours.”

  She turned in my hold and shook her head. “I don’t want things, Tristan. What I need you can’t put a price on or buy. As long as I have the truth from you, I’ll be happy. Just the truth.”

  “I can’t live without you, Nina. If truth is what it takes to make you happy, then it’s yours. I just hope the real me is what you want.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and stood on her toes to kiss me softly on the lips. “I’m madly in love with the real you, Tristan Stone. I know you’re not perfect. I just need you to promise no more secrets. I can’t live like that.”

  I cupped her nape and looked into those gentle blue eyes. “No more secrets. But right now, I don’t want to talk about secrets or anything else. I don’t want to think about anything but you and me and reliving our last time here.”