Messy Miranda

by Jeff Szpirglas

  “Sorry, Ms. Basil. My ruler is just so much fun today.” Miranda smiled.

  “I hope it is fun every day,” Ms. Basil said.

  After that, the students broke into small groups to measure different objects in the classroom. Jaiden measured a half-eaten cheese sandwich from the previous week. Neela was measuring her skipping rope with a big yardstick. “Wow!” Neela said. “It’s three times longer than the yardstick. Come see, Miranda.”

  Miranda went over to see what Neela was doing. Her eyes widened when she saw the yardstick. “Hey, Neela. May I borrow that for a minute?”

  “Sure,” Neela said. “Can I come?”

  Miranda shook her head. “I’ll be right back.” She didn’t want Neela to find out about the hat.

  Miranda took the yardstick and went back to her desk. When nobody was looking, she slowly dipped the stick into her desk and into the hat. Wow! The hat was at least three feet deep.

  “What are you doing?” Jaiden asked.

  Miranda jumped. As she did so, the yardstick came flying out of her desk. It clattered to the floor in front of Jaiden’s feet.

  Jaiden dropped his sandwich. “Yowzers! That’s crazy!”

  “These desks sure are big,” Miranda said. She smiled at Jaiden.

  Jaiden scratched his head. “Uh, I guess.”

  Ms. Basil clapped her hands. Everyone clapped back and looked at her.

  “It’s time for book exchange at the library.”

  Everyone cheered. The library was the best!

  Miranda smiled. It was time to see what else she could fit into the hat.

  Chapter Six

  The library was full of books. Big books, little books, heavy books, thin books. There were sports books, monster books, princess books, volcano books. There were books about everything—bugs, cooking and even skipping. Miranda had read many of them. Today she wanted The Biggest Book of Big Things. It was the biggest book in the whole library, and she had a plan.

  It was tricky to sign it out, because there was never any place you could put it. The book was taller than the kids in grade three. It had to go on a special shelf in the library. When Miranda took it down, she nearly fell over. She had to tuck it under her arm and drag it to the librarian.

  “Are you sure you want that book?” the librarian asked.

  “Oh, I’m sure!” Miranda said.

  “You could use that book for a surfboard,” Jaiden said. He pretended to surf on one of the chairs.

  “Jaiden, get down!” Ms. Basil said.

  As Ms. Basil took care of Jaiden, the librarian signed out The Biggest Book of Big Things. Inside were all sorts of pictures of big things, like dinosaurs, skyscrapers, airplanes and whales. Miranda did not care much about them. She had only signed out The Biggest Book of Big Things to see if it would fit into the hat in her desk.

  The students lined up and marched back to class.

  Miranda had to get Neela to help her carry the book back. “How are you going to get this home?” Neela asked.

  Miranda shrugged. “Ben can help me.” But Miranda had no plans to take the book home.

  As soon as everyone had entered the classroom, the recess bell rang. “Quickly, students,” Ms. Basil said. “I have recess duty!” She did not have time to help the students put things away. Instead, Ms. Basil threw on her coat. She put on her orange safety vest and dashed out of the room.

  This was perfect! Miranda stayed behind until everybody had left. Then she tried to put The Biggest Book of Big Things into her desk.

  She started by putting in a corner of the book. Then she put in the first half. Soon the whole book had slipped into the magic hat without making a sound.

  Miranda’s jaw dropped. “Wow!” she said. “Magic is so cool!”

  Now that the book was safe in the hat, Miranda turned to go outside. She stopped in her tracks. Jaiden was standing just outside the door. His eyes were wide as Frisbees. “No way!” he said.

  Miranda shook her head. “I told you these desks are big.”

  Jaiden scratched his head. “But that’s The Biggest Book of Big Things,” he said. “There’s no way it can fit into a desk.”

  “It just did,” Miranda said. She tried not to look nervous as she walked out of the classroom past Jaiden. She did not want him to go near her desk or find out her secret. She was going to have to be very careful. But first, she was going to skip with Neela.

  Back at home after school, Miranda got a phone call from Uncle Aldo.

  “Miranda, have you seen my magic hat? I can’t find it anywhere.”

  Miranda felt her heart beat quickly. She swallowed hard. “Don’t you have a bunch of magic hats?”

  “Yes, but I’ve lost my most magical hat,” he said. “One of my rabbits is still in there.” Uncle Aldo explained that he had found one of the two rabbits that fit into the hat. But the hat and the other rabbit were missing.

  “Oh no,” Miranda said. She didn’t know what to do. If she told Uncle Aldo about the hat, he would be angry with her. Plus, Miranda’s desk would get messy again. Ms. Basil would keep her in for recess.

  Miranda needed to think about this.

  “I’ll look around for it,” she said. “Maybe Ben borrowed it to practice magic.”

  Uncle Aldo paused. “Really? But he was downstairs with us the whole night.”

  “Oh,” Miranda said. “You’re right.” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. “I will look for it, Uncle Aldo.” She hung up the phone.

  Miranda felt bad about lying to her uncle. She didn’t like telling lies, and she had been telling them all day long.

  As good as the day had been, now she was worried about the hat. Was there a real rabbit inside? If so, she would have to feed it tomorrow!

  Miranda snuck into the kitchen to find a few special treats.

  Chapter Seven

  In class the next day, all Miranda could think about was the poor bunny rabbit. It would be hungry. And had she squashed it with The Biggest Book of Big Things? She hoped not.

  First, she had to try feeding it.

  While Ms. Basil was teaching a lesson about healthy food choices, Miranda reached into her pocket and pulled out a carrot stick. She kept her eyes on the teacher and slowly slipped her hand into the desk. She felt around for the hat. There it was! Her arm vanished into the hat. It was like somebody had put a giant hole in the bottom of the desk. She stretched her whole arm in. She waited for the bunny.

  “Miranda?” a voice called. It was Ms. Basil.

  Miranda pulled her hand out quickly.

  “Can you think of a healthy food choice?” she asked.

  Had Ms. Basil seen her? Miranda started to sweat. “Uh, carrots?”

  “Good answer.” Ms. Basil nodded. “Who else can think of a healthy food choice?”

  “Pizza with ice cream and gummy spiders!” Jaiden said.

  The class started to laugh.

  Miranda reached into her pocket for another carrot. She put her hand back into the desk and dropped the carrot into the hat. She took another. And another.

  “Miranda?” a voice called again. “What are you putting into your desk?” It was Ms. Basil.

  “Nothing!” Miranda said. She took out her hands and held them up.

  Ms. Basil stared at her for a moment. Then she got the class to start an activity.

  Miranda didn’t know how she was going to sneak the hat out. She had to get it back to Uncle Aldo soon. Maybe she could grab it quickly when no one was looking. She was going to have to wait until recess.

  “I know what you’re doing,” a voice said. It was not Ms. Basil. It was Jaiden. He stood behind Miranda and peeked into her desk. “You’re putting food inside. I saw you.”

  Miranda shook her head.

  “Yes you did.”

  “Okay,” Miranda said. “I did. I was saving carrots for later.”

  “Can I have some?” Jaiden asked.

  “No, they’re for later.”

  “I’m so hun
gry,” Jaiden said. “I can’t wait for snack time.” He pushed Miranda aside and peered into the desk again. This time, his whole head fit inside it. “Wow, it really is a big desk. How did that happen? And it’s so neat too!”

  “Jaiden, get out of my desk!” Miranda yelled. “You’re going to get in trouble.”

  Jaiden wasn’t listening. “I can fit my whole neck in too! This is cool. But where are the carrots?”

  Jaiden pushed himself farther into the desk. Now just his legs were sticking out. People around were starting to notice. Some pointed. “That’s crazy!” said Abdu. “Ms. Basil, look at what Jaiden is doing!”

  Miranda turned. Ms. Basil had wide eyes. Her mouth had dropped open. “I don’t believe it!” Ms. Basil said. She stormed over to Miranda’s desk.

  By now, Jaiden’s feet were wiggling at the mouth of the desk. Miranda tried to pull Jaiden back, but he was too far in. And too heavy.

  “I found the carrots! But something is eating them. Something fluffy and white!”

  The whole class had gathered around Miranda’s desk. Nobody could believe what they were seeing. Nobody except Miranda.

  “Hey!” Jaiden said. “Give those carrots back. I’m hungry”

  Jaiden’s feet slipped out of Miranda’s hands as he pushed himself deeper into the magic hat.

  “I’m fallllllling!” Jaiden said. His voice trailed away.

  Miranda reached out to grab him, but it was too late. Jaiden had vanished into her desk!

  Chapter Eight

  “Jaiden, get out of that desk right now!” Ms. Basil said. “Or else…or else I’m going to call the principal!” Ms. Basil tried to sound angry, but Miranda could tell she didn’t know what to do. Ms. Basil tried again. “I’m going to count to ten. One…two…”

  Miranda knew the magic hat was deep. If she tried to lean in and grab Jaiden, she might fall in too. Miranda peered into her desk. “Jaiden, are you okay?”

  “Yeah!” he said. His voice echoed up from deep inside her desk. “It’s really big down here. But there’s a lot of junk. And The Biggest Book of Big Things. And a bunny too!”

  “Jaiden, I’m coming to get you,” Miranda said, using her bravest voice. She was afraid of falling into the hat, but this was her mess. She needed to clean it up.

  She moved away from the desk and looked around the room. She saw Neela standing there and had an idea. “Neela! Go get your skipping rope. The one that’s bigger than three yardsticks.”

  Neela nodded. She ran to her bag and brought it over.

  “Good,” Miranda said. She gave one end to Neela. “Tie one end to the desk.”

  “What are you going to do?” Neela asked.

  “I’m going to rescue Jaiden!”

  Ms. Basil was busy trying to get all the students to return to their seats. She did not see Neela tie one end of her skipping rope to a desk nearby. She also did not see Miranda squeeze into the desk, holding on to the other end of the rope.

  Miranda lowered herself into the hole in her desk. It was so dark inside that she couldn’t tell where the desk ended and the magic hat began. Everything was pitch-black except for the skipping rope. Cool! It glowed in the dark!

  That meant she could use it like a night-light to find Jaiden.

  “Jaiden, are you down there?”

  For a moment, Miranda didn’t hear anything.

  Then came Jaiden’s voice. “Is that a glow-in-the-dark skipping rope? Coooool!”

  “Jaiden!” Miranda snapped. “Grab on. I’m going to get you out of here.”

  “Who says I want to get out?”

  Miranda huffed. She had to think of something. The magic hat was not safe. Then her eyes lit up. “Jaiden, Ms. Basil just handed out some snacks.”

  At once Miranda felt a tug on the skipping rope. “Hurry up, Miranda. Snack time is my favorite part of the day!”

  Climbing down the skipping rope was easy, but it was hard to get back up. Miranda had to squeeze her head through the narrow desk. She had to pull her body through, and it didn’t want to fit. Then she felt a pair of hands grab her arms and yank her out. Miranda spilled onto the floor. She looked up to see Neela standing there. “You did it!” Neela said.

  A second later, there was a loud thump. Jaiden crashed onto the floor beside her. He was holding The Biggest Book of Big Things. Sitting on his head was a white rabbit. It bounced off and hopped across the floor.

  The class cheered. “Dump the desk! Dump the desk!”

  Ms. Basil shook her head. “There will be no more desk-dumping.”

  Miranda let out a big sigh. She had done it. Jaiden and the bunny were safe.

  Chapter Nine

  That night Miranda’s parents drove her to see Uncle Aldo. Miranda brought the rabbit and the hat up to the front door. She was scared to tell Uncle Aldo the truth. What would he say? Miranda took a deep breath and knocked.

  Uncle Aldo did not look pleased when he opened the door and saw Miranda holding the rabbit and the hat.

  “I’m sorry I took the hat without asking,” Miranda said. She held her head down low. She felt him take the hat and the rabbit from her hands. Her eyes filled with tears.

  Then she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up. Uncle Aldo was smiling. “I’m glad you brought it back,” he said as he straightened the hat out. It had been squashed in the desk and looked a bit funny. “It was the right thing to do. But what happened to the hat?”

  Miranda told Uncle Aldo about her messy desk, and how she’d thought that magic would solve the problem.

  “I know what you mean,” Uncle Aldo said. Miranda followed him into the house. “See?” he said. “My place is a huge mess. I always have trouble keeping it clean.”

  “Do you use magic too?”

  Uncle Aldo shook his head. “You have to be careful with magic.”

  Miranda looked around the living room. There were pizza boxes on the floor. Papers were scattered everywhere. “This looks just like my desk,” Miranda said, laughing. At least she was not alone.

  She felt something nudge her foot. It was the rabbit. It hopped through the doorway that divided the kitchen from the living room. Miranda followed it. The rabbit saw Miranda and hopped through her legs and back into the living room. Miranda stopped in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen. She walked back and forth. She looked at the two rooms. She considered the two different spaces.

  Then Miranda had an idea.

  Friday came quickly. That meant it was time for desk cleanup. Ms. Basil looked in everybody’s desks. She was afraid to look in Miranda’s. But Miranda just sat there, smiling.

  “I hope there’s nobody in your desk,” Ms. Basil said.

  Miranda pushed her chair back so Ms. Basil could inspect it. “Take a look.”

  Ms. Basil bent down to look inside. She stood there and stared into Miranda’s desk. Her eyes went wide. “I don’t believe it!”

  Some students came rushing over. “Is Jaiden in the desk again?”

  “I’m right here,” Jaiden said. He stood beside Ms. Basil. “Wow!”

  Now everyone in the class came running over.

  Miranda’s desk was totally tidy!

  She had put a divider in the middle of her desk. Miranda’s books were on one side. Her papers and pencils were on the other. This way, she knew where everything went.

  “What a great idea,” Ms. Basil said. “I should try that for my own desk.”

  “Really?” Jaiden said. “What’s your desk like?”

  Everybody looked at Ms. Basil’s desk. It was in the back corner of the room. Ms. Basil always heaped student work onto it. It was piled high with papers, books and things for the classroom. It looked like a mountain.

  “Oh,” Ms. Basil said. Her face went red. “I guess it’s my turn to stay in for recess today.”

  “Don’t worry, Ms. Basil.” Miranda smiled. “I’ll give you a hand.”

  Jeff Szpirglas and Danielle Saint-Onge live together in Toronto and teach in classrooms
with students of diverse cultural backgrounds. Jeff has written several books, including the awardnominated You Just Can’t Help It! and a terrifying new novel called Evil Eye. Danielle has a master’s degree in social anthropology and is a crusader for equity in the classroom. Besides teaching, they spend their time writing stories like Something’s Fishy and taking care of their twin babies.