Pedal to the Metal

by Stephanie Nichole

  I hear what sounds like sheets rustling and a sliding glass door opening then closing. “You sound happy.”

  “I am. Farrah and I are getting are own place and I’m seeing Jagger now.”

  A hard, sarcastic laugh comes through the phone. “I knew that James brother was into you. I think I can guess your favor since you’re getting your own place with Farrah. You need your things collected.”

  “Yes, I do. Please," I plead with him.

  I hear him sigh then finally he said “Fine. I’ll go first thing in the morning. Text me the address of where they should be delivered.”

  “Thank you!” I exclaim. “I’ll send you the information now.”

  “And Londynn?” He pauses to make sure I’m paying attention. “I’m only doing this because you sound happy and I think it’s good for you.”

  The phone goes dead, and I instantly text him the information before I could forget. As I’m heading inside I see Creed appear in the backyard next door. I pass the front door and go to the side gate. When he sees me, he smiles then heads my direction, but I’m reminded of what Jagger said about telling Creed the truth about Alivia. Suddenly, I don’t feel like talking. I mean how exactly are you supposed to break into one of your best friends that the girl he’s basically in love with isn’t who he thinks she is?

  “Londynn! I wondered when I would see you," Creed says jumping over the fence and into the James’ back yard. He pulls me in for a hug.

  I hug him back. “I know, you’re right next door but things have been crazy.”

  He examines my face. “Yeah I bet. That’s healing pretty well.”

  “Did you know about this?” I ask him motioning toward my face.

  Creed stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “I heard then I ran into Axell the other day and he confirmed it. I texted you, but you never replied so I just figured you needed time.”

  “Oh no! I totally forgot to send out my new number. That night I left my phone in Ryce’s car and I didn’t want to deal with him to get it back, so I just got a new one. I’m so sorry Creed. I would have answered you if I’d had my phone," I explain.

  “That’s good to know. Are you going to the races this week?”

  That was a good question. I wasn’t sure if I was going. I mean I hadn’t planned on going until my face was fully healed but if Jagger wanted to go and he wanted me there then yes, I’d go. I guess I’d just have to play it by ear. “I don’t know yet. Maybe, if Jagger wants me there.”

  “So, you and Jagger, huh?” he asks wagging his eyebrows up and down.

  I slap him on his arm. “I swear you’re horrible.”

  Creed checks his watch then looks up to give me an apologetic smile. “Sorry I have to run. I need to meet Alivia we kind of have a lunch date but let’s hang out soon.”

  “Yes lets. You have fun," I tell him as he hugs me goodbye. I watch as he leaves and wonder if I’m letting him make a huge mistake.

  ****

  Jagger

  The next morning, I wake to the smell of pancakes and coffee. As I slowly make my way to the kitchen I see Londynn standing at the stove making breakfast. She was dancing around to some song on the oldies station. Hey hair is down and loose and almost all of her legs are visible in her white shorts. I can see the small muscles in her arms working thanks to the navy blue and white chevron stripped tank top she’s wearing. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her waist. As I pull her back towards me I take a deep breath. She always smells of flowers. “Good morning pretty girl. It smells delicious in here.”

  “Morning boyfriend. I figured I’d make you breakfast since I’ll be taking advantage of you today.” She says with a giggle. “I’m making chocolate chip pancakes. They always smell the best.”

  “Yeah that too but I was thinking I liked the smell of flowers," I say with a wink running my nose over her shoulder. “And you can take advantage of me anytime.”

  Londynn turns around in my arms to face me, looping her arms around my neck. “Is that so?” I just nod before she reaches up to kiss me. We get lost in one another instantly. It isn’t until we smell the pancake burning that we pull away from one another. “Thank you for helping me today but I’m sorry you have to miss work.”

  I shrug while pouring us coffee. “It’s okay. Besides I don’t really need to work when I race every week.”

  “Do you ever lose?” she asks, placing the plates in front of our chairs.

  I laugh out loud at that question. I remember a time when I lost every damn race I entered. “I lost a lot in the beginning, but I learned pretty quickly. I haven’t lost since except for when I was new in Vegas. I didn’t really know the streets or anything when I first started there. It was disadvantage.”

  “I never thought about any of that but I guess it’s kind of like knowing your stage when you’re dancing," she tells me, and I notice the look of sadness in her eyes before she covers it up with that trained smile of hers.

  “Yeah, I guess it is,” I tell her. We eat in silence then head over to the new condo that Londynn and Farrah will be sharing. It dawns on me when were about a block away that Londynn only has a few of her clothes and personal items. She has no furniture or anything to put in her room. “Londynn, do we need to go get your furniture and stuff from your parents?” I ask her.

  She shakes her head. “No, I’m just going to buy my own furniture and I have someone getting the rest of my clothes, pictures, books and stuff like that.”

  She points to an empty parking space and I pull into it. As I put the car in park Londynn jumps out and heads over to a small rented U-Haul. I see her hugging someone and when I get out I realize it’s Duke Parrish. Duke is taller than Londynn but not by much, but his hair is the same color as hers. However, he has Farrah’s blue eyes. I’ve never been a fan of Duke, mostly because he’s always been friends with Ryce. I notice Duke studying Londynn as I walk towards them. Farrah meets me halfway when we stop in front of them I notice Duke’s busted lip.

  “So I guess the rumors are true, you and my little sister," he says in a voice that I think is meant to intimidate me but it doesn’t work.

  “Yeah. You have a problem with that?”

  We stare each other down for a minute. No one says anything or even moves but finally he tells me “As long as you never do anything like this to her, I don’t have a problem.” He says while motioning to her face.

  “I would never do anything like that to her," I reply.

  Duke nods then Farrah asks, “What the hell happened to your lip?” He reaches up and rubs his lip almost like he’s forgotten it was busted. However, his knuckles look worse than his lip. They are busted and bruised. Farrah being Farrah doesn’t miss a beat “Duke seriously what the hell?” she exclaims as she grabs his hand to examine it.

  “It’s not a big deal," he says.

  “Not a big deal, you’re kidding right?” Londynn asks him.

  He sighs heavily. “I’ve been seeing this woman who turned out to be married, her husband found out. Trust me it’s not that bad. You should see him.”

  Londynn pulls him in for a hug. “Oh Duke. When are you going to learn? You’re so much better than this.”

  He laughs but I can see that her words hit a nerve. “Well, lets you get you unpacked.”

  After a few hours and with the help of Creed, Ace, Bowie, Axell, Kynlee, Farrah, Londynn and I, the girls are officially moved into their new place. Everyone heads out to do whatever they had planned on doing to begin with while I go looking for Londynn. I find her lying in the floor looking up at the ceiling. I walk over and lay down beside her. Her slim hand slips into mine. “Thank you again Jagger. I was thinking, it’s late and I’m tired so would it be okay if I stay with you tonight? I can go shopping for furniture tomorrow.”

  “That’s fine," I tell her. Even though something is really bothering me. She asked Duke to collect her stuff from her parents instead of just asking me to go with her. For some reason that kind o
f hurt even if I don’t want to admit it. It’s like she’s ashamed of me, almost like she doesn’t want to be seen with me in that part of her world. I’m in love with this girl but I have to wonder if I’ll ever be enough. I mean she asked her brother who she’s never seemed to close to over me.

  Chapter 22

  Londynn

  Jagger and I had grabbed dinner before going back to his place. He had been pretty quiet, and I could tell something was really bothering him. He got this little line between his eyebrows whenever that happened. I wanted to ask him about it but he didn’t seem too talkative, so I didn’t. It wasn’t until after our showers and we were lying in the bed in an uncomfortable silence that I decided to try and get him to talk to me. “Jagger?”

  “Yeah.”

  I take a deep breath and decide to jump head first. “I know something is bothering you, but I wish you would talk to me.”

  He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest. I don’t stop him because in all honesty it’s where I want to be but I also know it’s his way of avoiding the question. “I’m fine. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that.” It’s a lie. I know it’s a lie but I let myself believe it for now. The minute I close my eyes I’m asleep.

  ****

  I didn’t see Jagger at all yesterday. I had went shopping for the furniture, got it delivered then applied for a couple of jobs. Nothing major but until I could figure out how to start my own dance studio I needed something to fill my time. They were just a couple small fashion boutiques, but I was kind of excited about the idea of getting my own job. My furniture had arrived late in the day, Farrah and Connor had helped me set everything up. Once everything was finished I had texted Jagger, but he said he had to work late.

  I was on my way to see Jagger this morning when I got a call from an unsaved number. Turns out I got one of the jobs. I was ecstatic. When I pulled into the parking lot of the body shop I jumped out and jogged inside. I said hi to Bowie and Axell as I passed them. Finally, I found Jagger working on a custom paint job, I waited until he was done. Jagger noticed me as soon as he stepped out of the room. “Hey pretty girl.”

  “Hey! I’ve got news!” I exclaim. He raises his eyebrows in question. “I got a job!”

  “Really?” He asks but the shock in his voice hurts.

  I scoff “Is that so shocking?”

  He shakes his head. “No, I just didn’t know you were looking.”

  I roll my eyes out of bad habit. “Well, if we had talked yesterday I would have told you but you seemed to be avoiding me.”

  “I’m not avoiding you Londynn. I had to work late, I told you that," he replies sounding exasperated.

  “Yeah, I remember that excuse.” I mumble.

  He runs a hand through his hair while sighing. “Please don’t start being difficult.”

  “Well, I’m sorry if my wanting to be with you and share my news is being difficult. I’ll just go," I tell him as I turn around and head for my car.

  Jagger’s hand grabs my arm before I make it two steps. “I never said you had to go.”

  I watch as some internal battle wages behind those amber eyes of his. Whatever is happening right now is linked to whatever was bothering him the other night. I stand in silence for a minute to see if he’ll start talking but he doesn’t. Instantly my defenses go up. “No, you didn’t but to avoid the difficulty I figure it’s for the best," I tell him then yank my arm from his grip. As I walk back to my car I refuse to look over my shoulder to see what he’s doing.

  Once I’m in my car I find myself driving without really paying attention. Before I know it I’m pulling into the cemetery. I park by Vivienne’s row and head over to her grave. Sometimes you just need to talk. I take a seat beside her. “I’m sorry I didn’t bring you any flowers," I tell her about New York and ABA, giving the life my parents wanted a chance, how Ryce and I had finally ended and how Jagger and I had become. I explained about moving out and getting a place with Farrah and how I had gotten a job. This was not how I saw today going. I had been so happy this morning and in changed so quickly.

  “I don’t know what to do now. I want to be with him. Actually, I’ve never wanted anything more, but he won’t open up to me. I mean once in a blue moon I see a glimpse of him, he’ll let that guard down and let me in but then it’s like he realizes what he’s done, and hits reverse. You know, you used to tell me real love is confusing and complicated. I never got it when I was with Ryce but I get it now. The races are tonight, and I know he’s going but if things are going to be like this then I don’t want to go, even for him. Is that horrible?” I ask Vivienne’s headstone. After a few more confessions I get up and dust myself off.

  As I’m heading back to my car I notice the fresh daises on a grave. I make my way over and notice its Harlyn and Harper’s. I stand there a moment, unsure of what to do. Finally, I decide it couldn’t hurt so a squat down. “Hey Harlyn, hey Harper. I know you guys didn’t know me but I feel like I’m in a competition with you guys right now. I don’t mind because I think in some ways I can understand it but I can’t understand him especially when he refuses to let me in. It makes me wonder if it’s just who he is or is it something to do with me? You know, I love him, I really do but I’d trade that if you guys could be here with him because I think then maybe that’d erase that look of pain in his eyes. I think maybe he would be a different Jagger if you were still here.”

  “I know the James’ brothers have these reputations and images and maybe they suite them to an extent but under that bad ass exteriors are really decent guys. I don’t think people really get to see that side of them but it’s there. I’ve noticed it with Axell and Ace. Jagger too, in brief moments but I feel like I’m the only one trying right now. Maybe, I’m just naïve. Maybe this is just how relationships are and I don’t have enough experience to understand it. I don’t want to walk away but I don’t want to fight all the time either," I sigh and stand up.

  “Thanks for listening. I could really use some kind of sign from you guys or Vivienne right now. Should I hold on to him?” No sign appears so I head over to my car but when I get inside and turn the key nothing happens. My car is dead, no sound what so ever. I have to laugh because it seems like this could be that sign. I grab my phone and scroll to Jagger’s number.

  ****

  Jagger

  I felt like an ass watching Londynn leave upset. I was causing this friction between us but the idea that she was embarrassed by me or where I came from really bothered me. Maybe, I didn’t have a right to feel that way and maybe she wasn’t embarrassed. I mean it wasn’t exactly in Londynn’s personality to care about that type of stuff. Maybe, I was just being insecure. I was about to slide back under a car while the paint dried on the other when my phone started singing “Bed of Roses” by Bon Jovi, Londynn’s personalized ringer. I’d seen her a little over an hour ago but Londynn hardly ever called while I was working so I slide my finger across the screen. “Londynn?”

  “Jagger, I’m sorry I hate to bother you but my car won’t start," she says sounding stressed.

  “It is making any sounds?” I ask trying to determine what could be causing it without actually looking at it.

  I hear her sigh on the other end of the line “No, nothing. It’s just dead.”

  “Okay let me get the tow truck and I’ll come and get you. Where are you?”

  “I’m at the cemetery," she mumbles. It makes me feel even worse that she felt like she needed to go talk to Vivienne. I really was an ass. I tell her okay and that I’ll be there soon. I stop by and tell Bowie I’m going to tow Londynn’s car in since Axell is still at lunch. On my way to the cemetery I rehearse what I need to say. I need to tell her I’m sorry for the past couple of days and I probably need to tell her what’s been bothering me.

  As I pull up I notice how beautiful she looks today, not that she doesn’t look beautiful every day but there’s something classy about her outfit today without being overdone. She has on another
pair of white shorts, a black blouse and yellow blazer over it. Her gold wedges make her tan legs seem even longer and my instantly thinks about them being tangled in mine at night. I pull up and park, when I get out I’m prepared to apologize but Londynn will barely even look at me. “Let me get this hooked up then I drop you off wherever you need.”

  “I don’t need a ride. I called Creed to pick me up he should be here any minute," she tells me while staring off at the sky. Her shades hide her eyes which I hate because she’s great at keeping her body language neutral, but her eyes tell it all.

  “Londynn, you didn’t need to call someone for a ride. I could have dropped you off or even given you the keys to my car if you had stuff to do,” I tell her, feeling defensive again. She has once again pushed me aside when she needed help.

  She runs a hand through her hair. “I didn’t want to make things more difficult for you than they already are.”

  Damn, she wasn’t letting this go. I know I hurt her when I said that she was being difficult because Londynn was actually far from it. It had been a stupid thing to say. “Londynn, listen I’m sorry about earlier and the past couple of days. I haven’t been myself.”

  She shrugs, and I hear a car approaching. “I don’t know maybe that is who you are. I’m not sure anymore. I want to be with you, but you have to want to talk to me in order for this to work. You have to talk to me, but you don’t. Thank you for coming and getting the car. Let me know what you find out.”

  Londynn turns on her heels, grabs her purse and walks away. She’s at Creed’s passenger side door before I turn around to stop her. “Londynn! Are you coming to the races tonight?”

  “That depends…”

  “On what?” I ask.

  She sighs “On you Jagger.” With that she gets into the car. Creed waves at me through the window before taking off out of the cemetery. I stand there in the empty cemetery trying to figure out what the hell she meant by that. On the drive back to the shop my confusion just grew into frustration. I couldn’t believe she was putting this all on me. I had gotten out of this tow truck with every intention of making things right. I had apologized and what had I gotten? Her acting unaffected then putting everything on me. Now, I remembered why I didn’t do the girlfriend thing anymore.