Runaways

by Rachel Sawden

  “What happened to you?” Lana asked peering out of one eye.

  “Nothing. He’s just hot.” Shit. “I’m hot. It’s hot.”

  Jade raised the brim of her hat and an eyebrow. “The energy about you is different.”

  “Yes, it’s called heat.” I waved my hand dismissing her words. “You’re imagining things.”

  Her raised eyebrow remained firmly in place. I didn’t need her judgment. I was not thinking of that gorgeous…but totally and utterly inappropriate wanton wordsmith. I was delirious from dehydration. We Canadians weren’t used to the heat that comes with being so close to the equator. Luckily, I saw a vendor with a basket of fruit balancing on his head padding through the surf towards us. With flailing arms, I flagged him down and bought a coconut while Lana handed over her rupees for a freshly cut pineapple. As I sipped the crisp liquid, I felt my temperature and heart rate begin to return to normal. Pulling my shades over my eyes and feeling more centered, I fished out my book from my bag and lay back on my sarong. I opened it up to the dog-eared page and tried to distract myself…

  Tending to her bruised wrists from where he restrained her with vines during their passionate lovemaking from the night before, she blushed thinking how loud she had screamed only to remember there was no one to hear her except the stars.

  She admired his muscular body as he rose from the sea. His spear stacked with fish. His glistening olive skin had turned a delectable shade of burnished caramel. Shaking the excess water from his jet-black hair, he walked toward his love laying naked in the shade of a palm tree. He stuck the spear in the sand before kneeling beside her, a savage look in his eye. Throbbing with desire she took his strong hands and placed them on her —

  I slapped the book shut and sat up. It was only making my symptoms worse. Before the girls could notice my heaving breath, I announced, “I’m going in for a dip.”

  Face first I submerged myself in the cool green water. When I surfaced, I felt relief from the heat, but something within me still buzzed. Turning to face the beach, my eyes drifted towards the grove of the coconut trees raking the flickering leaden clouds. My memory was stuck on playback mode, and I didn’t know how to shut it off. As I pushed out each thought of where that tattoo led, another took its place. What did the inked words say? As the images played, the curious curling in my stomach spread south.

  What was happening to me?

  Maybe it was that meat stick from earlier. Skewer. I mean meat skewer. I should have known better than to trust street food.

  Then I remembered Jade had said to always focus on what you want, not what you don’t want, so I thought of Adam.

  You love Adam.

  I loved Adam. Adam was sexy. I mean not in a traditional way. But who needs that kind of sexy? That Zac Efron cover of Men’s Health sexy was so overrated. It can’t last. All the superficiality disappears over time. It’s best to marry someone who is dependable, punctual, responsible. Tattoos and muscles are the complete opposite of that. Tattoos and muscles…writing such graphic words. He was absolutely not my type. At all.

  A giggle derailed my train-wreck of thoughts. Looking for its owner, I saw a couple embrace like that stupid perfume bottle. Knees and feet broke the water as the giggler wrapped her legs around her partner’s body, kissing with mouths so wide I feared they would inhale each other. Given the pitch of the shark gasp that escaped her mouth I now assumed they were having sex. They were so close. I could reach out and make it a threesome.

  How tacky.

  When I noticed that her brown eyes were actually hazel I realized that I had been staring at them.

  I had to get out of the water.

  Marching up the beach I grabbed my sarong. Jade looked up from her sketchbook. “Are you okay?”

  “I need to go to bed.”

  Before anyone could stop me, I ran to the hut, rinsed the salt and sand off with a cold shower, and lay in bed for the afternoon willing myself to nap as the erotic words I had read, the words he had written, danced in my mind.

  ***

  “Hey baby, can you hear me?” Adam’s voice crackled through the static.

  After my attempted nap, I made my down the beach to the Internet café at the threshold of the market and beach for my Skype date with Adam.

  “Yeah, just about,” I said adjusting the volume on my headset. “How are you?”

  “Missing you,” he said as his face appeared on the ancient computer screen.

  “I miss you too, baby.” I reached out and dragged my finger down the cool glass over his cheek. This, I reminded myself, is what love is. This is who I need to fantasize about.

  “How’s this beach?”

  “Yeah, it’s an alright place.” I wanted to say how much I loved it but the guilty feeling of rubbing my adventure in his face stopped me. “It’s a bit of a hippy paradise so Jade’s in love. She’s at some chanting session right now. How’s home?”

  “Shit. Freezing, slushy, and miserable. I wish you were here.”

  His advertising skills left much to be desired. “Me too,” I lied.

  “So do you feel safe over there? With the men I mean?”

  My voice faltered, and I paused to clear my throat. “Yeah, it’s a beach town, so everyone is used to seeing women in bathing suits. I don’t feel any danger here.”

  “Good, I’m glad. Your parents have been so worried.”

  “I know. I try to message them every day.”

  “They said. I had dinner with them last night. I knew they’d be having a hard time, so I thought I’d check in on them.”

  My heart nearly burst at his gesture. He was always so thoughtful with my parents. “Thank you. I’m so grateful for you.”

  “And I you,” he said with that adorable lopsided smile. “I’ve started looking into wedding venues and invites and things.”

  Then my heart burst. “Oh, baby.”

  “I know we haven’t set a date yet, but I thought I’d get started on planning early so you weren’t overwhelmed when you come home.”

  Home. If I won the competition and joined Awesome Adventures’s photography team I wasn’t sure when that would be. I hoped he would be just as supportive if that were to happen. I decided not to ruin the moment with talk of what-ifs, so I said, “How did I get so lucky?”

  “I ask myself that every day,” he replied. “So when can I see your photos?”

  “I haven’t had a chance to edit them yet. I’ll send you the link as soon as I can.” I leaned forward, resting my elbow on the desk and my chin in my palm. I glanced at the time on the computer clock and calculated the time at home. “Have you taken your insulin?”

  Before I left, I programmed his phone to remind him every day on the hour he needed to take it.

  He nodded and held up his insulin pack to the camera. “Oh, I have so much to tell you about World of Warcraft…”

  As he went on and on about Eversong Woods, Blood Elves, and spinal dust my eyes turned glassy. Over the years I had found a way to look as if I was paying attention with a practiced smile and uttering, “uh-huh,” “wow,” and “hmm,” occasionally. I thought this whole video game thing was endearing at first, but when he ended up in the hospital after slipping into a diabetic coma from forgetting to take his insulin while bingeing on the game I looked at it as his evil vice I wished he would grow out of. I wanted to be supportive, as I knew he loved it, and it was his escape from grief, but each time he talked about it, I clammed up worrying that one day he’d literally play the game to death. So rather than tell him not to talk about it to me, which would have been unfair, I tuned it out instead.

  As his mouth chattered away, I let my eyes wander past the screen and through the window to the beach outside. I watched the people milling about in the lazy afternoon heat, and it hit me that I was really on my adventure. After Jade and Lana and I started talking about it seven years ago in our freshman year of university, and abandoning any hope of going three years ago when Audrey died, I was really doi
ng it.

  My eyes narrowed in on a shock of pitch-black hair down the beach. The provocative poet from the coconut grove. Slinking across the sand. In nothing but board shorts. Did this guy even own any clothes?

  “Harper?” My eyes shot back to the screen. “Are you listening?”

  “Yes, sorry, I just…”

  “Baby,” he said, cutting me off, “I have to run. Talk soon?”

  “Sure. Tomorrow, our anniversary? Same time?”

  “Yes. I can’t believe it’s been two years tomorrow. Best years of my life.”

  Despite our recent rough path, I believed he was sincere. And because of that rough patch, I needed to hear those words.

  “I love you,” I said.

  I love you,” he said blowing a kiss.

  I made a gesture as if I were catching the kiss, and when my fingertips touched my lips, the screen flicked to black.

  ***

  That night Lana, Jade and I wandered towards the northern end of the beach near to the entrance to the market road, where restaurants boasting eclectic menus lined the coconut grove in between the huts. Fishermen had returned from the sea, so on the shore of the rising tide wooden boats were beached, and the fresh catch was laid out in ice on tables in front of each restaurant.

  “How are things with Adam?” Lana’s voice hummed over the live sitar music as we sat down at a table in the more populated open-air restaurants.

  “Great, couldn’t be more in love,” I replied, setting my camera on the white plastic tablecloth. Fearing I might say something I regretted about my meeting in the grove earlier, I changed the topic. “This place is so gorgeous at night.”

  After the sun set in Goa, the restaurants that lined the coconut grove illuminated with fairy lights that hung from the exteriors, and tables adorned with tea lights spilled out down the beach from the restaurant’s main structure to the lapping surf, bathing the beach in a soft ethereal glow. As we ate dinner with our toes in the sand, I played with my exposure setting, hoping I could capture it properly, but I had not been able to master the art of such tricky lighting.

  Jade told us about her day finding a great meditation spot on the small island perched at the northern tip of the beach, and Lana chattered on about how she had met a boy earlier while shopping in the market. Naturally, she spent the afternoon at the spa prepping for the prize of the flirtation game. And by spa she meant a shack on the beach that offered manicures, pedicures, and massages. Her bill totaled a whopping twelve dollars.

  “Oh my God, Leo’s here!” Lana gasped before inspecting her reflection in a spoon. “How do I look?”

  Polished and perfect.

  “Namaste, ladies.” Six feet of swarthy skin, velvet brown eyes, and bee-stung lips bent down and kissed her on the cheek. “How are you tonight?”

  “Better now.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Jade, Harper, this is Leo, and, who’s your friend?”

  I looked up and met eyes with the lewd lyricist from the coconut grove. A dark smile tilted his lips.

  “Xavier,” he replied.

  Without thinking, I gave my hair a quick fluff and immediately hated myself for it.

  “Namaste,” Jade said as he bent over to give her an air-kiss on each cheek.

  He turned to me, and bent down to reach for my hand. The scent of musk and spice enveloped me as his eyes found mine. With my skin pebbling from his touch, he raised my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. His lips were soft, and when his stubble brushed my skin a ball of lightning crackled deep within my belly. When he let go I exhaled, our eyes were still locked, and the world around us melted away.

  Jade cleared her throat and it sent me crashing back to Earth. I glanced at her, and she stared at me, wide-eyed and brow furrowed. I dropped my gaze to the table, and I gulped the spicy lukewarm liquid of my chai masala tea. I was equally baffled by the moment Xavier and I had just shared.

  “What do you have there?” Lana held out her hand, “accidentally” squishing her breasts together in her too small and too tight spandex tank top.

  “Flyers for Silent Noise,” Leo said handing one to her, as he made no attempt to hide the fact that he was staring at her cleavage. She would have been offended if he didn’t look. “It’s a silent disco that’s happening in a few nights at the bar I work at.”

  “Silent disco?”

  “Loud music isn’t allowed in Goa after eleven o’clock,” he explained, “so people listen to music through headphones that stream remotely from the DJ booths.”

  “The opening acts before the DJs start are the best part, though,” Xavier said, smirking at Leo.

  He was still standing in front of me, close enough for me to touch. I was eye level with where that towel hung, where those tattoos disappeared.

  “So, are you organizing the party?” Lana asked, twirling a lock of hair in her index finger.

  “Nah, I’m bartending at the venue, so they’ve put me to work promoting it,” Leo said, handing Jade and me a flyer. “And Xavier will be —”

  “I just have a keen interest in music,” he interrupted.

  A salty breeze swept across the table as my mind began to put the pieces of him together. He looked past us towards the sitar player and scrubbed his chin. The ball of lightning in my belly crackled again as I remembered the feeling of it on my skin.

  What was happening to me?

  I couldn’t understand it, but the effect Xavier had on my body scared the hell out of me. It was a feeling I never thought I’d feel. It was a was a feeling I longed to feel with Adam. Leaving Goa couldn’t happen soon enough.

  “And how you do you know each other?” Jade asked.

  “Well, we were flat-mates in England finishing up our degrees for the past few years, but I’m originally from South Africa,” Leo said. “And we’ve just been traveling around.”

  Okay, so Xavier was around twenty-two. Oddly, it was this fact that forced me to finally dismiss my inappropriate and unwanted thoughts about him. Even if I were single, he was much too young for me to have anything serious with. Adam was the perfect age, established in his career and perfect marriage material — sweet, thoughtful, dependable, loyal. Adam was both perfect on paper, and perfect in practice. And I would not jeopardize that.

  Lana bit her lip. “I can hear it now. I like the blended accent,” she said with flirtatious promise. I could see her mentally circling ‘South Africa’ on her international to-do list. “Xavier, are you from South Africa, too?”

  “France originally. But I moved to England a very long time ago.”

  I kept my eyes off of him so I wouldn’t feel that curious effect, but his voice sent a chill through me.

  “Boys?” A voice shrilled.

  I looked up to see a short-haired Indian girl resembling a teapot: short, stout, hand on hip and fuming.

  “I need you to finish all of the bars on the beach. Now.”

  “Ladies,” Leo said putting his arm around her. “This is Sarasi, the slave driver.” His playful smile was met with a sarcastic one. “Well, it has been a pleasure, and I hope our paths cross again soon.”

  He bid farewell to Lana with a wink.

  “It was great to meet you,” Xavier said, looking at the girls. As his gaze turned from Lana to me, he said. “I hope I see you again soon.”

  They both turned, and Xavier’s gaze lingered on me as he walked away.

  “Oh my God, I’m in love!” Lana squealed when the boys were out of earshot. “Can we stay for the Silent Disco? And then we fly to Delhi afterwards? Oh please oh please oh please?! It’s my birthday that day, and I want him.”

  As Xavier and Leo made their rounds handing out flyers to the other tables, I could feel his eyes on me. I bit my lip to stop the nervous smile that was tugging at them.

  “It’s fine with me so long as we fly to Delhi the day after,” Jade said before turning to me, “Harper, are you happy to stay?”

  I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. I wanted to say no. I wanted t
o stick to the plan of leaving Goa and this man who made me feel out of control of myself. But going to Delhi alone was out of the question, and I’d never forgive myself if I spoiled Lana’s birthday. She deserved a great day after all of the drama she had been through back home. Though her infamy had done wonders for her bank account, it only seemed to attract low-lifes, users, and moochers into her dating life.

  So I said, “Sure, can’t wait.”

  Chapter 6

  The sun beat down on me as I plodded through the sand. Two more days, I reminded myself. Only two more days. It was those words that kept me awake last night. Along with thoughts of him in that towel. And the poetry he had written. When I read Tahitian Heat to distract myself that morning, my image of the perpetually naked love interest was replaced by him.

  I couldn’t understand why I stop thinking about a guy I had just met when I loved someone else. I know it was just thoughts, and perhaps a touch of cold feet as I wasn’t exactly experienced with men. Or a little harmless curiosity because I had never met anyone like him before. But it still felt as if I were cheating on Adam. I wouldn’t stand for Adam thinking about another girl in the way I thought about Xavier. Especially on our anniversary. What was worse, my body responded to those thoughts in a way I never thought it could respond. This was one of those times that called for a talk with your big sis, someone who knew me, someone I knew wouldn’t judge me, someone whose advice I trusted. I could speak to the girls, but I know Lana would tell me to go after him and compartmentalize my feelings and Jade would get upset because she’s not quite past the pain from being cheated on.

  Perhaps I should have stayed in Toronto and eaten the cost of the ticket. But I couldn’t go back in time. I had to live with my decision and get my career going. Abandoning my hopes of a monkey shot I stuck to my new plan for the day: to shoot the market, and avoid the coconut grove. I knew I’d have to see him at the silent disco, but I hoped to avoid him until then.

  Passing a group of children, I took a better look at the cherubic clan huddling around a boy about seven years old who was holding a guitar in his tiny hands. I had changed the settings back to automatic and raised my camera. Focusing them in the viewfinder, a little girl in a pink sari moved. And engulfed in a deluge of giggles, clapping hands and innocent smiles, I saw him.