1929

by M. L. Gardner

  “Well, naturally, I’d want them to come, too. Get out of the city. Question is, would they?” He shook his head, discouraged. “Jon hates manual labor. Caleb wouldn’t mind fishing, but I don’t know that he’d want to come back here. He tried like hell to get away from this town. And with the strife with his father . . . and Arianna?” He laughed a hard laugh. “She’d go nuts here.”

  “Aryl.”

  “Hmm?” He kept his eyes on her ring.

  “Look at me.”

  He lifted his head, and she could see the exhaustion of the last few days and the weight of the dilemma in front of him. “What do you say we think about ourselves? Just us. What’s best for us? I know we care about our friends, but maybe this once, we can make our own decision. Based on what we want.” He shifted uncomfortably and looked away. “Aryl, you have been the one to keep everything and everyone together through this crisis. Jon leaned on you so hard I thought you would collapse under the weight. Caleb tried to help, but he isn’t a natural leader. You are. Make a decision for us, and if they follow, great. If not?” She shrugged and gave a weak smile.

  “What do you want to do?” he asked, hoping for a nudge in one direction or another to make the decision easier.

  “I want to be wherever you are.” She pushed a few wisps of hair off his forehead. He laughed and squeezed her hand.

  “That doesn’t help. This is big. We have to decide this together. Could you really live here? Be married to a fisherman? It’s a whole different life.”

  “I could.” She looked back at the waves crashing against the base of the lighthouse. “I’d adjust,” she said quietly.

  “It would be a risk, Claire. I haven’t fished in years, I don’t know that I’d make money right away, and I’d be gone a lot.”

  “Sounds like you’ve already thought about it then.”

  “I’ve entertained the thought.” He looked around him and took a deep breath. “It’s so clean here. The pace is slower and the people are familiar. When I look at people here, I don’t see hard, desperate faces. It’s a different kind of struggling.”

  “Sounds like you’ve made your decision.”

  He smiled as convincingly as he could, even though his heart was still very much divided. “I just hope the others will want to come.” He saw her frustration before she looked away. “We’ll come regardless, Claire,” he said as he pulled her chin back to face him. “I wish you could understand how it is with us.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Hungry?” He began pulling things out of the picnic basket.

  “A little. What’d you bring?”

  “I’m not sure,” he said with a grin. “I threw it all together in such a hurry.” He pulled out a jar of pickled beets, a half-loaf of bread, a chunk of salami and a half-pint of jam. She laughed harder with every odd thing he pulled out. He ripped off a chunk of bread and tried to dig out some jam with his pocketknife.

  “I’m sorry the lighthouse is locked,” she said.

  “I can still break the chain, you know,” he said and smiled suggestively.

  “Aryl, we have a lot to do before we leave tomorrow,” she said with a distant tone. He looked at her, disappointed. He could see her contemplating the drastic changes on the horizon. She got up, walked down the rocky shore, and threw bits of bread to the seagulls, who squawked excitedly. The look on her face gave Aryl the feeling that she had forgotten that he was even there.

  “Maybe next time,” he whispered.

  ∞∞∞

  They were quiet on the ride back to his parents and when they pulled up alongside the house, he told her to go on inside, that he would catch up.

  “I want to work on the swing. Don’t say anything about our decision. We’ll talk to them over dinner.” He gave her a kiss on the forehead, walked to the backyard, and opened the shed to dig out tools and some scrap wood. He set to work replacing the short vertical slats on the seat and tried to rehearse how he would word the proposition to Jonathan and Caleb. Wondered, worried really, about what their reactions would be; would they decide to stay? He felt weak when he wondered if he would be able to move here without them. He couldn’t picture them apart after all they had been through.

  He didn’t hear his father calling until the third time that Michael Sullivan bellowed his name.

  “Oh, hey, Pops.” Aryl looked over but didn’t stop working.

  “I was beginning to rethink that part about you not being born deaf,” he teased as he glanced over the swing, now nearly fully repaired. “I was gonna get around to that.”

  “It’s nothin’, Pops. I needed something to do.”

  “It’s been a hell of a week, hasn’t it?”

  “That’s an understatement.” Aryl stopped sawing and stood straight, wiping sawdust off his pants. “What time is it?” He looked up at the sinking sun, wondering how long he had been outside.

  “Almost dinner. So, have you made your decision?”

  “Yes.” He went back to sawing the last slat and fitting it into the frame. “We’ll talk to you guys over dinner.”

  February 19th 1930

  Aryl hugged his parents goodbye at the train station and Kathleen cried as if she would never see them again, in spite of her mood the night before when she practically did cartwheels with the news of them moving home. The whistle blew as Aryl lifted Claire up onto the platform and then turned to wave at his parents again.

  “I’ll telegraph soon and let you know when we’ll be back.”

  The train jerked forward as they found their seats, and Aryl sat by the window, feeling anxious about going home.

  “No matter what, right?” Claire took his hand and squeezed it.

  “No matter what.”

  ∞∞∞

  “What’s that smell?” Claire wrinkled her nose, looking in all directions as they stepped off the train. Aryl waited for their bags, and he couldn’t help but notice the smell, too. It was the smell of an overcrowded city, a world away from the sound of crashing waves and foghorns and the heavy salt air that he was already beginning to miss.

  “There’s enough left to get a cab home,” he said, digging in his pocket, stepping out into the street to hail one.

  ∞∞∞

  “Caleb, stop pacing,” Arianna said. Caleb continued to pace Jonathan’s living room. Arianna sat with Ava on the couch, struggling with a piece of knitting. She had taken the news well, given that Jonathan had been the one to tell her and had been extremely convincing that something else would pan out long before the baby was born. She had begun to play the role of supporter to Caleb, who was worried to the point of nausea.

  “I need to just get this out and over with,” Aryl said and knocked.

  Jonathan opened the door quickly, Aryl’s fist still in the air.

  “Hey, we’re back.” He set his bags down by the door and took a seat at the table. “We need to talk.”

  Caleb looked from Aryl to Jonathan, confused. He sent Jonathan a look that asked whether, somehow, Aryl had found out, and Jonathan answered no with a narrow flash of his eyes.

  “Something came up when we were in Rockport. We need to have a serious talk.” The others joined him around the table.

  “Something happened when you were gone, too,” Jonathan started. “A pretty serious disruption in our plan.”

  “My news could be considered the same. Flip you for who goes first.” He pulled out a quarter, and Jonathan called heads before Aryl caught it.

  “Damn. The one time I didn’t want to win,” Jonathan grumbled. “Okay, here it is. Someone bought our building. Just outright bought it, offered the old man three times what he owes. Caleb and I have been out the last two evenings looking around, talking to people, and we haven’t exactly come up with anything concrete, but a few leads might be promising. We’re going to find something, don’t worry about that.” Jonathan waited a moment for Aryl’s reaction.

  “So, the building is out?” he asked.

  “Yes.”


  “And you haven’t found another deal to replace it?” Aryl’s eyes narrowed, seeing the situation turned in his favor. Without the building, it might be easier to sway his friends into leaving.

  “But we’ve been trying like hell.” Caleb shook his head.

  “How’d you guys like to go fishing?”

  Caleb and Jonathan looked at each other, confounded.

  “Look, fellas, here it is. My uncle left me his entire fishing operation in his will. Claire and I have talked about it, and we think it’s a good opportunity to get out of the city and still be able to work towards being our own bosses again. We all have family that we can stay with until we get our footing.” Caleb shifted uncomfortably in his chair as Aryl continued. “And with hard work, it could be profitable.”

  “That’s some news,” Jonathan said, surprised. “What all did he leave you?” Aryl listed off the inventory. “And what would we need to get this operation going?” Jonathan asked, already working on the basics of a business plan in his head.

  “Nothing. Everything is in good repair. One of the boats needs more work than the others, but there’s four total, so we can repair that one in our spare time. There’s one for each of us. The commercial buyers that my uncle worked with know my family. We would literally step into his shoes. Hardest part, I think,” he said, leaning back in his chair and searching all of the faces around the table, “is going to be refreshing my memory and teaching you two the trade.”

  Everyone was silent. Aryl noticed the two other wives were concentrating on their husbands’ faces; studying them, waiting for a reaction, some indication of what they might be thinking. Aryl looked across the table.

  “What do you think, Ava? Should we go?” Ava looked surprised that he would ask her, looked to Jonathan and back to Aryl. Jonathan nudged her leg to answer.

  “Well, there’s no guarantee with running your own fishing business. I mean, we’d be taking a gamble.”

  “We would,” Aryl replied bluntly.

  “That’s scary,” she said. “Especially after what we’ve been through.” She was hesitant to say anything more, although she loved the idea of leaving the tenement.

  “But when you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose,” Jonathan said firmly. Aryl turned to Arianna.

  “What about you?”

  “Well, you know what my biggest concern is.” Everyone at the table collectively looked at her stomach. “I guess I wouldn’t mind the idea of the baby being born in the country. I wonder where we would stay and whether we’d have our own place by the time the baby came, that sort of thing.”

  “Well, I want to go. I think it’s the opportunity of a lifetime and I don’t want to miss it. Why would we want to stay in this crummy place a day longer than we had to?” Claire asked.

  Silence reigned again for several minutes. Claire nudged Aryl’s leg and gave him a stern look.

  “We’re going. Claire and me.” Caleb looked as if he’d been slapped.

  “What about us? We haven’t decided yet.”

  “Well, I want you to go; of course, I want us all to go. I want Jon to run the business, you to find buyers and work on expanding when the time comes, and I want us to each have our own boat and really make this happen. But if you decide to stay here . . . .” He looked as if he were in pain as he spoke, “I’m still leaving within the week. I know it’s a lot to think about. You don’t have to decide right now. Take tonight to mull it over, and we’ll meet at my place tomorrow after work.”

  Jonathan and Caleb looked at each other, knowing now that they must decide between staying behind and hoping for opportunities or going with him and taking the risk.

  Aryl and Claire left everyone sitting at the table, silent and deep in thought.

  “What are you thinking, Caleb?” Arianna asked softly.

  “I’m thinking that this would be the perfect opportunity, if only me and my dad weren’t on the outs. I don’t know where we’d stay besides with them.”

  “I think they’d understand.” She took his hand, now leaning toward the idea of starting over in a cleaner, nicer place for the baby. He put his head in his hands.

  “My mom would. But not my dad. He’ll never forgive me.”

  “But would he turn you away? If you showed up on his doorstep tomorrow, would he literally turn you and your pregnant wife away?” Jonathan asked, knowing that as mad as he was, Caleb's father would never go that far. Caleb shrugged his shoulders. “C’mon, Caleb. You know he wouldn’t. And if he started getting nasty, you know your mother would rein him in.” Caleb remained unconvinced and stood to leave.

  “Let’s get home, Ahna.”

  She followed, leaving Ava and Jonathan alone at the table, the room dimming quickly as evening approached. He took her hand, and she spoke before he could.

  “What do you want to do, Jonathan?”

  “I want to go,” he said, surprising her completely.

  “Really? You’ve already decided?”

  “Yes. I want to learn to fish or lobster or whatever it is Aryl’s uncle did. I want to organize a profitable business, which I know I can do. I want to get out of Victor’s building and buy us a house by the beach. Claire’s right, this is a good opportunity. We should go with it.” He tugged at her hand and she stood up, letting him pull her over to sit on his lap. “Who knows?” He nuzzled her neck with light kisses that sent shivers up her back. “Maybe we’ll find our own lighthouse or cave or abandoned car–”

  “Abandoned car?” she laughed, swatting at his wandering hands. “I hate to put on airs, Mr. Garrett, but I’m going to have to insist on at least a candlelit cave for our romantic rendezvous.”

  “I think I can manage that.” He settled his hands around her waist and looked at her more seriously. “So, we’ll go then?”

  “We’ll go.”

  ∞∞∞

  “Caleb, stop pacing,” Arianna pleaded again. “Come sit with me.”

  Arianna sat by the fire with her knitting, reworking another hopelessly crooked little sweater. Caleb paced, occasionally grumbled to himself and, after a while, Arianna got up to turn the radio on to drown him out. The evening news broadcast was mostly depressing news of the economy. Caleb’s ears perked up when he heard the updated unemployment numbers and bank failures followed by contrasting reports of the stock market’s rally and reports that things were good again. Or at least getting there.

  “I swear,” Arianna huffed, not looking up from her knitting. “They really don’t have any idea what’s going on, do they? It’s up, down, yes, no, better, worse. I wish they’d make up their minds.”

  He watched her for a few moments as she stubbornly ripped out and reworked sections of the sweater. She brought her work up closer to her eyes to check for missed stitches, revealing her midsection, which seemed to get bigger with every passing day. He had insisted that she go back to the midwife while he was at work today, concerned that she was farther along than they thought.

  “Ahna.” He went to sit beside her, feeling like a heel. “I’m so sorry. With everything that’s going on, I forgot to ask you what the midwife said. You did go today, didn’t you?”

  “I did and wasted money on a visit. She said everything is fine, just like I told you.” She put the little sweater in a basket by the hearth.

  “Did she have any explanation?”

  “She did.” She looked at Caleb and smiled. “She said it’s probably a big, strong boy and that’s why I’m so big. I just don’t know, though. I really feel like it’s a girl.”

  “I’ll go with what the midwife thinks. Have you gained any weight?” He looked her over, knowing the answer.

  “Well, no.” She avoided his eyes. “Actually, I lost a little.”

  “Ahna, you need to eat more.”

  “I’m eating what I can.”

  He remembered from his youth that animals bred on the farm would get extra feed and nutrient supplements. They gained weight and produced healthy calves, foals, and kids. He
sat back on the couch and crossed his arms, frustrated that he couldn’t do the same for his wife. She wasn’t going to have a healthy baby living on potatoes and sardines. He sighed heavily. “It’s time to make some hard decisions, Ahna.” She moved from the chair and sat next to him on the couch. He draped one arm around her and she leaned on him, folding both hands on her stomach. “I don’t want to go,” he said apologetically. Her eyes darted, anxious for him to finish his sentence. She had been certain that he would decide to go, even if only for the reason that Jonathan and Aryl were leaving. She thought surely he wouldn’t want to be left here alone. “This is easy for the others. It’s simply a matter of to stay here and struggle or to go there and struggle. Aryl and Claire have this whole romantic history there, and Jon is drooling at the chance to run a successful business again.” Arianna wanted to say so much then, but she bit her tongue for the first time in her life. “There’s a little more to consider with us.” He placed his free hand on her stomach and felt a strong kick. “Hey, little guy,” he said with a grin and leaned down close to her stomach. “Why don’t you help your old man out here? One kick for stay and two kicks for go.”

  “Are you really talking to my stomach?” She looked down at him as if he’d lost his mind.

  “No. I’m talking to Samuel.”

  “You’ve named him? Thanks for letting me know,” she said with joking irritation.

  “I figured we could decide that- Hey!” Caleb looked up and laughed. “Well, that’s his two cents. Or two kicks rather. I guess he thinks we should go.”

  “Why wouldn’t we, Caleb? Why on earth would we stay here?”

  “Because we’d have to live with my parents in the beginning. My father hates me. It will be uncomfortable and awkward. I’ll have to go off every day and leave you to deal with it, and I don’t know how long we’d be there. I don’t even know how to fish. It may be a few months before we can be in our own place.” He sat back on the couch and crossed his arms again. “There’s even a chance that the baby could be born at my parents’ house.”