Sushi and Sun Salutations

by Hutchinson, Heidi

  Tessa’s eyes widened and she silently nodded her head. Kip waited for her to climb into the seat before he closed the door. He was just opening up the driver’s side when she realized no one had ever opened her car door before.

  Soooo, we’re in love now, right? Her heart asked and she rolled her eyes. Because no. Kip was a new friend. He was a significant part of the new friend group they were forming and she had no right inflicting her romanticism all over him and his life.

  Not. In. Love.

  Got that? She asked internally.

  But her heart wasn’t listening because it was too busy singing showtunes.

  “Rewrite the Stars” from The Greatest Showman to be exact. Including a feisty dance number.

  “I like your bus,” she said, ignoring the trapeze act going on inside her chest.

  “Thanks.” Kip adjusted his seat slightly and put the van in gear.

  “And your octopus tattoo,” she added, eyeing the beautiful sea creature wrapped around his forearm.

  The words surrounding it were much clearer in the sunlight and she recognized the lines from Percy Bysshe Shelley’s poem “Love’s Philosophy.” Different lines from the ones she had chosen for her own tattoo on her shoulder.

  Again, a sharp twist in her gut reminded her that she didn’t remember Kip from school. Yes, it was many years ago, and wasn’t like she had the rest of her graduating class memorized or anything. So why did it bother her that Kip had just been another name and face to slip through the cracks?

  Because they clearly had something in common.

  And he remembered her.

  She opened her mouth to bring it up but nothing happened. She just sat there with her mouth gaping as she stared out the windshield.

  “I haven’t had that much wine in… probably ever,” Kip said around a yawn.

  Tessa snorted. “We can easily change that,” she responded without really thinking.

  “You feel fine I assume?” he asked with a small chuckle.

  “A little stiff,” she admitted with a shrug. “But that’s more to do with you stealing my pillow and me trying to use Steve instead.”

  The conversation stayed light the rest of the drive as Tessa gave directions to the apartment she shared with Spencer.

  When they pulled up outside, she noticed instantly that Spencer’s car wasn’t there.

  Her good mood began to rapidly decay.

  She ground her teeth together, trying not to assume the worst about her best friend but failing.

  “You okay?” Kip asked.

  Tessa huffed, unable to keep secret her irritation.

  “Spencer’s not here.” She growled under her breath as she stared out the window at nothing.

  “Tess,” Kip called her attention softly.

  She begrudgingly twisted her head towards him.

  “She’s a grown woman,” he reminded gently.

  Those words, though true, only caused Tessa to bristle further. He didn’t know her. He had no idea what an idiot she was being lately.

  Kip’s eyes, sea foam green in the early morning sunlight, bounced between her own. Compassion and calm rolled out of his body like a warm tsunami, engulfing her despite her resistance.

  “You’re afraid of losing her,” he said, reading her mind and stopping her heart. “But you won’t. She’s going through something, that’s all.”

  Tessa blinked, her vision unexpectedly blurry. She inhaled through her nose and looked down to where Kip’s hand was laced tightly together with hers.

  When had that happened?

  Her smile wasn’t as strong as she would’ve liked when she brought her eyes back to meet his.

  His gaze traveled over her face, seeing all the conflict and fear she knew she wasn’t hiding. But instead of pulling away, or trying to correct it, he leaned into it.

  He tugged her hand towards him and held it to his chest. She felt the strong beat of his heart in the back of her hand. The connection to such a personal and special part of him filled her with peace in a way that had her forgetting her ire.

  “Take a deep breath,” he guided softly.

  She did and he joined her.

  “One more.”

  The peace took hold and became an anchor in her mind.

  “Make sure you call me later,” he said, a half-smirk on his lips. He let go of her hand so she could get out of the van. Even though their physical contact had ended, the connection remained.

  She turned around to close the door and gave him a much stronger smile than before. “See you later, sunshine.”

  His lips twitched. “Count on it, Peaches.”

  ***

  “Tessa, can I see you in my office, please?”

  Tessa snapped out of her daydream in time to see her boss, Chloe, tap her long nails on the frame of her office door before walking away.

  She took a deep breath and stood up.

  Hopefully her boss hadn’t noticed her sitting there doing nothing. At least, she hoped it hadn’t been noticeable. She’d been working on a file when Kip’s actions that morning had drifted back through her mind. She’d leaned back in her chair and lost focus on her present.

  The moment had been so small, and yet she wanted to relive it again and again.

  Exactly the same. No changes. No alterations.

  Who knew how much time had passed before her boss had stopped in.

  “Have a seat, Tessa,” Chloe instructed, eyes scanning the contents of a manila folder.

  Tessa eyed the folder, interest blossoming in her mind.

  Maybe Chloe had finally made a decision about the new route.

  Their company had acquired a coveted lead a few weeks ago. The opportunity for increased commissions and bonuses danced in the eyes of the senior sales reps. Before it turned into a bloodbath in the bullpen, Chloe intervened and said she’d be divvying up the leads and assigning the routes to sales reps of her choosing.

  Tessa may not have had seniority. But she took great pride in having the most consistent sales growth.

  And Chloe was all about the numbers.

  “You’re from Newport Beach, right?” Chloe asked. She closed the folder and dropped it on the desk, her eyes sharpening on Tessa.

  “Yes, I grew up there,” Tessa confirmed.

  “Do you still have contacts there?”

  “My parents live there.”

  “Your father… is he still working?”

  “No, he retired last year.”

  “And how is he enjoying his retirement?” Chloe asked, a sharp light in her eyes.

  Tessa smiled demurely. “He spends his days playing golf or racquetball at the club with his friends. I’m certain he’s enjoying it just fine.”

  Chloe leaned back in her chair and steepled her perfectly manicured fingertips. “Wendy is dating a young podiatrist in the area. She thinks she could use her time spent there in a more… productive manner.”

  Ugh. Wendy.

  Of course it would come down to her and Wendy. It always had.

  They had been hired in the same week and were nearly always competing with each other for the same accounts. But when it didn’t go her way, Wendy cried.

  No, really.

  She literally cried and wailed and declared how unfair it all was. To the point where every time Tessa landed a new account, Wendy called in sick the following day. For mental health reasons.

  “No offense to Wendy,” Tessa said, hiding the irritation in her voice. “But my dad’s colleagues still send me birthday cards. I think my connections are a little more solid than hers.”

  Chloe’s nostrils flared like a shark too close to an open wound in the water. She slid the folder across the desk, holding Tessa’s gaze. Her mouth showed the faintest hint of a smile.

  “Make me proud.”

  Tessa took the folder of leads and hurried back to her office.

  She closed the door behind her and then proceeded to close the blinds to her windowed walls so those walking by couldn’t s
ee inside.

  A sardonic smile hit her lips as she wondered how many days Wendy would call in sick this time. Oh well. If she couldn’t handle the job, she should really look for one she enjoyed. Why stay in a job you hated?

  Tessa did not hate her job. She loved it. She had a company car, a company phone, she got to dress all classy, and her main task was talking to people.

  Though, to be fair, having to go into Newport for new accounts would be a little like visiting a haunted house. She’d have to see her parents and answer all the questions she despised answering.

  She sat down in her Herman Miller Classic Aeron Fully Loaded Posture Chair—the first thing she bought with her first commission bonus (she’d paid a thousand dollars, but it made her ass feel divine. And if your chair doesn’t make your ass feel babied and pampered and loved, then why are you even sitting?) —and opened the folder of leads.

  It was her first real opportunity to see what was available. She scanned the list of names and addresses, recognizing more than half. Most of them were oncologists, that was interesting.

  All of them were deep Newport. That would require some reconnaissance.

  That meant dinner with the parents.

  She picked up her office phone and dialed.

  “Hello?” came her mother’s perfectly measured answer.

  “Hi, mom, it’s Tessa.”

  “Oh Tessa,” she greeted, a smile in her voice. “I was just talking about you. You remember Gayle and James, don’t you? They were here for cocktails last night and their son is opening his own practice next week. Can you believe that? Anyway, they asked about you and I told them you’re also in the medical field.” Her voice dropped an octave. “There was no need to get specific.” Her voice came back up to conversational. “And they would love to have a family dinner at the club this week if you’re available.”

  Whew.

  Even the shortest conversations left Tessa slightly winded.

  “Yeah, that sounds great,” Tessa readily agreed.

  “Terrific! How does Wednesday work for you?”

  Tessa did mental math, calculating her route that day and how long it would take to get ready and drive to the club.

  “Wednesday at eight works perfectly for me.”

  They said their goodbyes and hung up.

  Tessa took a moment to catch her breath before standing up and crossing her office to her map wall.

  A lot of the sales people were completely digital in their operations. But Tessa loved maps. Always had.

  She’d had a large, wall-sized map mounted in her office. The roll included all of the company’s active routes. Tessa’s route was the most used, obviously. With notes and highlights all over it. She thumbed through the selections and found Newport Beach, tugging it down. She pinned the corners at the bottom to make it flat.

  The map had so far been untouched.

  Tessa bit her bottom lip in excitement as she gathered the list of leads and her colored pins.

  Time to map a new route.

  ***

  KIP

  Kip slowed to a stop at the light and looked to his left.

  The setting sun allowed for a golden glow to illuminate the convertible next to him and he glanced at the two people inside.

  He blinked at his own windshield and frowned before he did a doubletake.

  Spencer was in the passenger seat of the red Mustang; a guy Kip didn’t recognize driving. She didn’t see him.

  The light turned green and they turned left while Kip drove forward.

  Any other day, any other moment, and Kip would continue with his plans. He’d stop at his favorite sushi place, get his usual Friday night order, go home and eat on the back porch listening to the ocean and write.

  He parked the bus outside the sushi place, a heaviness in his stomach.

  All week he’d been texting Tessa. They’d shared jokes and little updates about their days. Next week they had plans to meet at the park to go over the basics of longboarding.

  But tonight she’d said she had plans with Spencer.

  It was Margarita Night and Tessa had been looking forward to it.

  Kip shut off the engine and grabbed his phone. He checked for any new messages and the heaviness in his stomach increased when there wasn’t any.

  Clearly Spencer was not going to be at Margarita Night.

  But Tessa hadn’t said anything to him.

  He pictured her sipping her margarita alone and his heart couldn’t handle it.

  ***

  Tessa opened the door to her apartment. Her genuine confusion caused her eyebrows to frown in an exaggerated manner. With her cropped t-shirt, cotton shorts, and messy top knot, it almost hid her anxiety under her adorableness. But he sensed it anyway.

  Oh what a pair they made.

  Kip held up the to-go bag. “I brought dinner.”

  “Wh-What are you doing here?” she asked.

  He twisted his lips to the side, trying to figure out how to tell her. “I saw Spencer in traffic. I thought you might need a friend.”

  “Red mustang?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  Her eyes glossed over and she stepped aside to let him in.

  “She said she had to work late again.” The concern and disappointment in her voice sliced right through him.

  Kip set the bag of food down on the kitchen counter. “I don’t know how you feel about sushi, but I brought a little bit of everything.”

  Tessa sat down in the corner of the second-hand sofa and pulled a blanket over her bare legs. “I’ve never had sushi.”

  Kip grabbed his chest and gasped. “Well, we’re fixing that right now.”

  He dished up the Japanese seafood and vegetables and brought the plate to her in the living room.

  “You can help yourself to a margarita,” she said.

  Kip had already spotted the pitcher in the kitchen, but he was going to pass. He was still feeling the effects of the previous weekend’s wine.

  “Thanks, but I don’t drink alcohol that often.”

  “Why’s that?”

  Kip swallowed and focused on his food. “Health reasons.” He almost choked on his next bite. He’d just blurted that out. As if her knowing everything he’d been successful at keeping from his friends wasn’t that big of a deal.

  As if lying to her was harder than it was to lie to anyone else. He wanted to tell her the truth. All the time.

  Before she could ask a follow-up question (in which he would undoubtably confess everything ever) he changed the subject.

  A black, hardback notebook rested on the coffee table.

  “What’s that?” he asked, nodding to it with his chin.

  She glanced at it, her cheeks tinting pink. “Oh, old stuff.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Steve talking about our tattoos reminded me of something I hadn’t really thought about in a while. After Spencer canceled, I dug through an old box and found it.”

  Kip’s heart sped up and he tried to appear disinterested.

  “What’s in it?”

  “Uh, poetry… mostly.”

  “More Shelley?” he asked with a small smile.

  “A little. It’s actually—” she cut herself off to grab her top knot and mess around with it a bit. She cleared her throat. “It’s not interesting to you, I’m sure.”

  Nope. He was super interested.

  “Try me,” he said casually.

  She licked her bottom lip and took a deep breath.

  “In high school, I shared a desk with someone.”

  “Right.”

  “You remember I’m sure; you go from class to class and multiple people use the same desk throughout the day.”

  “Yes, I’m familiar.”

  “Well…” she hummed as she talked herself into telling him.

  The suspense was tremendously painful. All he wanted was to hear that it had been her the entire time. That he hadn’t been alone in their story. That she hadn’t participated out of boredom.
That the words had actually had an impact.

  “I used to write poetry with someone. We took turns writing lines and stanzas on the desk in pencil. I copied them into my notebook.” She gestured to the book on the table. “But I never got to meet them.” She shrugged away a spontaneous shiver. “The poems would last for days. Even the janitor wouldn’t clean them off. It was like we had this secret little world for only us.”

  Kip couldn’t respond except to stare at her.

  Tessa stretched her legs out on the couch and pulled the blanket off. She tugged the hem of her shorts way up high to reveal ink scrawled on her upper thighs.

  “Over the years I got favorite lines tattooed on me in their handwriting.”

  “Why?” Kip asked, his voice rough.

  She pulled the blanket back over her legs, hiding the words. “Because I want them to be true. I want my life to be poetry and love and adventure.”

  Kip swallowed, unable to speak.

  How? How was any of this real? How was she real?

  Of all the unrealistic expectations he’d built in his mind that kept him comforted during round after round of chemo—how was she better than all of them?

  CHAPTER 6

  Love can be a lie

  Not mine

  TESSA

  “What’s this one called again?”

  Tessa saw Kip’s head swivel her direction from the corner of her eye.

  “Mountain pose.”

  She took another long breath as she reached her fingers towards the sky. She knew this was probably the most basic of all yoga poses, second only to the one where you get to lay on the ground. But she was doing it.

  And she wasn’t hating it.

  Though that was probably because she had an incredibly patient teacher.

  Last night when she’d opened her door to find Kip standing there with his shy smile and a sack full of food she’d almost tackled him.

  She couldn’t stop Spencer from making the choices she was hellbent on making. But she could allow herself to be distracted by good food and conversation.