by Iona Rose
“You can’t know that he will be furious,” Tracy said. “He was the one that contacted me to check up on you.”
“He contacted you, not me!”
“Well, he did try, didn't he?”
I shut my eyes, my heart sinking. “I wouldn’t know. I shut off my phone.”
“You both will be fine, just explain it was a mistake and one you’re truly sorry happened,” she said. “You’ll pull through this, especially for your baby’s sake.”
“I’m weakening his trust in me. That’s what I’m terrified of. That he’ll lose faith in me.”
“Well, this is a chance for a new start… with him. Apologize, but with all your heart. He’ll hear you.”
Just then, I sensed a movement in my peripheral vision, and my head snapped towards the glass.
There he was.
Dressed in his usual formal attire‒a pin striped two piece, with a crisp white dress shirt underneath, rolled up to his elbows.
The very sight of him made my heart twist with an unbeatable pain, at the man I kept taking for granted. My resolve to grovel was immediately locked into place, as he pushed the door open and came into the room.
His eyes were on me, and they were sunken. Whether it was with exhaustion, disappointment or loathing, I couldn't tell.
I deserved all three.
Tracy immediately rose from the chair so he could take a seat by me.
Instead, he broke his gaze from mine. “Where’s her doctor?” he asked.
Tracy shot me a glance.
I nodded to her and she moved.
He went with her, my heart going with him as they exited the room without another word.
Groveling… wouldn’t get me out of this one.
Chapter 39
Carter
I was conflicted as I watched her.
I stood away from her door, but positioned myself in a way that gave me a clear view of her.
She sat in a sullen silence, her head lowered and seemingly deep in thought.
I didn’t know what to feel.
On one hand, my heart burned with malice that she’d kept her pregnancy away from me, and for so long. She was now almost two and a half months along, so that meant that she had most likely been aware of the baby even before I’d arrived in Indianapolis. Maybe it was why she had fallen sick and taken the day off when I’d first arrived here. Maybe that was why she had initially tried to push me away.
My head was swirling, and I didn’t know where to begin.
I heard approaching footsteps and lifted my gaze to see it was Tracy.
She wore a cautious smile on her face, and held a steaming cup of coffee in her hand. “You’ve seen her doctor?” she asked.
I nodded quietly, and we both turned to watch Leah. “She says it’s uterine fibroids, and that there’s no cause for alarm. She’ll start her off on medication first, and then monitor her. If things worsen, then they’ll consider other minimally invasive procedures.”
A long silence passed between us, before she spoke again, “You understand why she had to keep it from you, right?” Her voice was small, almost as though she was hoping I wouldn’t hear what she was saying, but still couldn’t stop herself from speaking either way. “You understand her, right?”
When I didn’t respond, she turned to face me, and when I met her gaze, I found in her eyes the quiet desperation for things to work out between me and her friend.
“Does she understand me?” I asked. “Does she understand that I love her?”
Tracy’s gaze faltered.
“I’m asking you,” I said.
“I don’t know, Carter, she’s always had difficulty trusting others,” she replied.
“I want to be there for her, but I also want her to be there for me.”
“Leah’s childhood was horrid, Carter,” she said. “I don’t know the details because she rarely speaks about it, but I do know that the times when she wanted someone to be there for her, they weren’t. She only ever tries to depend on herself because that’s all that has ever worked. The trust you’re asking for from her, is going to take time, so please allow her some room- to disappoint you, to be unreasonable. But I assure you that the moment her confidence in you is established, it’ll be unshakeable.”
“I don’t have a problem with giving her as much time as she needs. What scares me is that she won’t give us the time that’s needed to cement us together.”
“Well,” Tracy said. “There is now a baby involved. I believe that both of you will take the time that is needed to strengthen your faith in each other. You both now have much, much more to lose. Forgive her, Carter,” she cajoled. “This time around. If it happens again, I promise that I’ll stand on your side and give her a good lashing.”
Her remark drew a smile out of me. I watched through the glass as my dreary and exhausted lover, wrung her hands unconsciously, dreading my confrontation.
Tracy soon left, while I pushed the door open and went into the room.
I saw her slightly move, but then go still as if contemplating whether to meet my gaze or not.
I pulled the chair to her bedside, and waited until she agreed to turn to me.
It took more than ten seconds, and when she did, she could barely hold my gaze. “Hey,” she said. “Thanks for coming.”
“You skipped prenatal care?” I asked
“Not necessarily,” she replied. “This last month has just been... much more hectic than anticipated. I was going to get to it.”
I heard her breathing hitch in hesitation, and waited so she could say what she wanted to.
“The baby...” she began. “I know that it must be a huge shock. It was to me when I discovered I was pregnant, especially as we’d been careful and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It happened even before you came to Indiana. I thought that I was going to have to shoulder the responsibility on my own but then you showed up and—there was shock and confusion and a lot more to process.”
I remained silent.
“Carter,” she called.
I lifted my gaze to hers.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way. God knows, I’ve already pushed you far enough, but my heart won’t be at peace unless I say this. I don’t want you to feel as though you have to accept this. It was unexpected and...” She sighed deeply. “I want you to be happy, more than anything else, and the last thing I want is to hinder you from that. I’m not trying to make a decision here for you, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to make any that you might not necessarily be ready for, on my account.”
I watched her. “Are you ready?’ I asked. “For this child?”
She gazed at me and from nowhere, her eyes filled with tears. A drop fell before she could turn away. “I’m sorry,” she said with a nervous laugh. “These damn hormones keep pushing me out of balance.”
I gave her the time to recover and reached forward to place my hand on hers. That little gesture I could see, greatly encouraged her.
“I’m not ready,” she answered. “But I doubt that I’ll ever be. And since… I’ll never consider any other options, I don’t have a choice but to be ready do I?”
I was well aware of the alternative options that she was referring to. “Did you consider getting rid of the child?” I asked.
“Honestly, I didn’t. Even though at the time I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. We had gotten involved and parted in Alanya with that mutual agreement.” Her laugh was bitter. “I didn’t even know how I could possibly reach you, even if I wanted to. So no, I didn’t consider anything other than having the baby, and then you showed up and I still couldn’t let myself dream that there could be anything other than single mother parenthood for me.”
“And now?” I asked. “What happens?”
With a shaky breath, she met my gaze. “Carter, I didn’t know you well enough then. The only thing I knew was I had quite possibly fallen in love with a gorgeous stranger, that even after a month I still couldn’
t get out of my mind. But now, I know for sure I am in love with that stranger, and not just because he is insanely gorgeous, but because I’ve come to know him a bit better. I’ve come to know that he will give everything he has to go after what he wants, and those that he cares for. You are strong, faithful and loving, and you seem to believe in me more than I ever have in myself. This baby is no longer just the result of a fling, but the gift I received from the man I have come to love. So, no matter what happens between us from now on, I have accepted this child as fully mine and yours, because you deserve to be the father of my child.” She lowered her gaze from mine, and began once again to wring her hands.
I placed my hand on hers and said simply, “You’re going to pay for what happened in Minnesota.”
Her gaze shot up to mine with a mix of confusion and amusement. “What? H-how?”
“For the next month, you’re going to be completely under my thumb. Whatever I want, and desire, you will make happen.”
Her lips quivered in amusement, but I was dead serious.
“For starters, have you eaten?” I asked.
“Uh, I had some eggs earlier on.”
“That’s not enough. I’ll get you some proper food.”
“Ok,” she answered sheepishly. “Thank you.”
“Secondly, as soon as you’re better you will come with me and we will pick out a bigger apartment for the both of us and our baby.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t say a word.
“Thirdly, you will listen to every fuss I make on your behalf. When I tell you to take it easy, that is exactly what you will do. And when I tell you to kiss me, even when we’re in a ridiculously long line at the store with an impatient audience, you will do exactly as I say, without complaints.”
“Oh, God,” she muttered.
“All of this and many more requests, you must endure for a month.”
“A month?” Her hand covered her mouth to hide her smile. “A month is pretty long, Carter.”
“You’re already failing. You don’t accept my condition?” Without waiting for her to respond, I rose to my feet and turned around to leave.
With a panic, she reached out to me, and threw her arms around my waist.
I stilled, and savored the magic of her touch. My heart burned with such love and excitement and contentment I could barely breathe.
“I accept,” she said. “With all of my heart. Whatever you want this month, I will do. I am so sorry for running and doubting you.”
“I have one more demand for today.”
“Anything,” she said.
“Will you marry me?” I asked.
A deadly silence came over the room.
I went on, “You will have the choice to pick whatever wedding date that you desire, whether it be before the baby arrives or after, but my intentions will not change. You don’t have the choice to reject this, so I’ll take your silence as a yes. You can reverse any agreements made, within reason, after my month is up.” I started to move away, but her arms around me tightened. I felt the weight of her forehead as it leaned against my back.
“It wasn’t a demand,” she said. “You asked it as a question.”
My stomach tightened with anxiety, but I refused to give it any attention. “It’s rhetorical,” I replied. “Everything I ask of you this month will be rhetorical, since your answer can only be yes.”
I felt her smile against my back, and almost couldn’t help the one that spread across my lips. Thankfully, she couldn’t see it.
“Yes, Carter,” she said and removed her arms from around me.
I was too nervous to face her. “I’ll get you the ring tomorrow.”
“Please also ensure that you get a receipt,” she said. “So that it can be returned.”
I spun around in alarm.
Her lips quivered with amusement.
“Keep playing around,” I warned her. “I’m going to make this month hell for you.”
“It’s the least I can ask for,” she said. “I love you Carter, with all of my heart.”
I love you too, I muttered in my heart, but was still too begrudged to say it to her face.
Later that night however, I whispered it into her ears as she fell asleep in my arms.
Epilogue
Leah
On Sean’s first birthday, Anne refused to let him out of her arms, which was especially problematic since she also didn’t want to let go of the ever filled glass of Moscato she held in the other.
“Anne hand him over.” Tracy went over to her. “I need to get him dressed before his guests start arriving.”
“Just a little while longer,” she said, her gaze on the television as my little baby boy slept in her arms.
Tracy turned to me with a scowl on her face.
I turned away, choosing to stay out of it. It seemed like it was a constant custody battle of who spent more time with the baby whenever they were around. Myself and Carter had long learned to stay out of it. As long as neither of them dropped our child, they could bicker all they wanted.
“Leah!” Tracy tried to get my attention.
I shrugged and turned to place the ice cream cake that had just been delivered into the freezer.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang and my heart jumped in my chest.
Tracy stormed off to get it while I washed my hands, knowing exactly who it was unless a guest had decided to come earlier than was stipulated for the celebration.
I heard Tracy laugh.
Then he walked into the room. He had been away in Chicago for a few days but had promised to do all he could to make it to Sean’s first birthday, and he had kept his word.
His gaze instantly found mine from across the room and held it, refusing to look away even when Tracy tried to get his attention concerning Anne and her custody. “Tracy, I’ll hand Sean over to you when I come back,” he promised, and moved away from her to head towards me.
I waited for him, my back against the refrigerator in anticipation. The moment his hand slid around my waist, every other thing beyond our joining ceased to exist.
My legs left the floor as he kissed me, and soon they were wrapped around his waist. I didn’t know when he took me out of the living area amidst the rude remarks of our friends and we disappeared into the quiet corridor.
His taste was my only acceptable brand of liquor, and I drank him in like a starving woman. “Fuck, I missed you,” I swore.
His mouth moved to my breasts. When his gaze returned to my face, he brushed my hair out of my face. Although his eyes were filled with excitement, they also looked tired.
This immediately made me concerned. “Hey,” I said and his grin made my breath hitch.
“Hey, baby,” he said.
“You look exhausted.”
“You have no idea,” he said. “I’m going to need a nap. Otherwise, I’m going to be useless during this party.”
“Sure,” I said. “Thankfully, most of it is ready now, so I can come with you.”
“Let’s go,” he said.
For a moment, I worried about Anne and Tracy. Then he carried me away and deposited me onto our bed. Thankfully, my face was still completely void of makeup and I was as of yet, not dressed for the party. So I tore my pajamas away and lost myself in him.
For a man looking tired there seemed to be no sign of that as he pounded me into the bed, and then flipped me around when I was near losing my mind. Holding onto one of the rails of the headboard, he drove his cock wildly into me, fucking me with a rawness that I responded wholeheartedly to.
“Keep it down!”
We suddenly heard a shout, and burst into laughter amidst our labored breathing. Tracy’s request however fell on deaf ears. Carter growled wildly into my ears as he came, his burst of release flooding me and sending me right over the edge behind him. I bit down on his shoulder to muffle my screams, but had to let go when he cried out from the pain.
“That wasn’t just from coming,” he said. “You’re getting
back at me for something.”
I stared at his wild, just fucked messy hair and entrancing eyes. “You’re right. That’s for extending your trip for another two days.”
“I’ve apologized, but I’m going to apologize again. I did my best to round up on everything as quickly as possible.”
“Don’t mind me,” I said, as I began to writhe my hips once again, teasing the semi-hard cock that he still had lodged inside of me. “I just fucking missed you.”
He kissed me again. “Same here. I need a shower.” He got up from the bed.
To my surprise, he took me with him. “Carter, no! I have to get back downstairs. There’s no time.”
“We’ll try and make this quick,” he said.
We both knew he was lying. Our shower stall had become something of a sanctuary to us. It was where we fucked, and talked about the most mundane and crucial parts of each other’s lives.
I couldn’t resist his request to join him, so we both headed into the shower and the warm cascade rained down on our entangled limbs. We spoke about his trip and the preparations I had to undertake for the party.
By the time we were done, he had to carry me out of there. He fell right to sleep afterwards, and I left him alone to handle the party downstairs.
A couple of hours later, our home filled up with guests and colleagues from work.
Carter came down just in time to receive them. He kissed me as I filled a plate with pizza slices, and then finally dragged Sean out of Anne’s arms.
The guests all went up to him and I watched, my heart filled to bursting at this magical life that I had somehow been gifted.
“You’re happy aren’t you?” Tracy asked from my side.
I turned to her with tears in my eyes. “I don’t have the words to express just how much.”