My One Night: An On My Own Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  And for that, I was grateful. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if he had.

  Instead, I awkwardly waved, winced, and then turned towards the door. Dillon let out a rough chuckle and reached over to open the door. Thankfully, his roommates weren’t in the hallway, and I crept down the corridor and then the stairs. No one was in the house that I could tell, though the smell of coffee wafted from the kitchen. I inhaled and let out a sigh, and Dillon laughed again. “I can get you a to-go cup.”

  “No, my ride’s here.” I nodded towards the sedan in front of the house. “Well, have a good day, I guess,” I said quickly.

  Dillon just shook his head, his gaze still on mine. “You, too. Text me when you get home.”

  “I can do that,” I said, knowing that I needed to leave. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t, and then it would be a thing. A terrible, horrible, awkwardly overdone scene.

  I gave another self-conscious little wave and finally noticed Pacey standing in the kitchen behind Dillon, wearing only flannel pajama bottoms, his very built and naked torso gleaming under the lights.

  The blond man winked, and I turned on my heel and fled.

  I heard Dillon grumbling something at his roommate, but I ignored it.

  I nearly ran to the sedan, knowing that I was making that scene I didn’t want to create, and opened the back door. “Josh?” I asked, looking down at my screen to make sure the picture on the app matched the face.

  “Elise?” he asked, doing the same.

  “Okay, good,” I said and slid into the back seat, putting on my seatbelt and closing the door as quickly as I could.

  “Have a good night last night?” the driver asked, leering a bit. I ignored him, pulling out my phone and pretending to text Corinne. I checked social media, looking at photos from last night, but I didn’t see myself or anyone that I knew in them. Not until I got to Corinne’s photo, one where she leaned into Pacey, another girl on his other side, the three of them smiling broadly and laughing.

  Maybe something would happen between Pacey and Corinne. They would make a cute couple. I’d have to see how she felt about that. Or I could not think about that at all, because if my best friend and practically sister got into a relationship with Dillon’s roommate, it would make things even more awkward.

  Josh seemed to get the idea that I didn’t want to chat and remained silent after that until he pulled up to my house.

  “Thank you,” I said, making sure I left him a tip as I got out.

  “No problem. Sorry about the comment. I think I need more coffee.”

  I froze as I slid out of the car and looked at him. “What?”

  “I made a jerky comment. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I do hope you had a good night. If you didn’t, and you need me to do something about it, you’re welcome to tell me that, too.” I just looked at him.

  A small smile played on my face, and I wondered how I kept ending up in these situations. “No problem. I’m doing great. Have a wonderful day.”

  “You too, Elise.” I shut the door, and he drove off, presumably to another person either needing to get to campus or leaving a party a little late as I had.

  “Get in here. We have coffee,” Nessa called from the porch of the small home I shared with her, Corinne, and Natalie.

  The boys’ house was ridiculously large and felt like a mansion from the east coast rather than something in Colorado.

  The girls and I shared a modest home with four bedrooms, but Nessa was pretty sure hers used to be an office since the closet seemed to have been added on later.

  It didn’t matter, though. Because unlike my first year of college, I didn’t have to share a room or a bathroom with anyone else.

  Everything was small, old, and sometimes broke down, but it was ours for the year. And that was perfect.

  “Do you really have coffee?” I asked and then paused. “Though I could use a shower.”

  “Well, you should have thought about that before you came home,” Natalie said, smiling.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I mumbled, and Corinne laughed. “Oh, you know plenty well what we’re talking about. You probably smell like sex and that very sexy Dillon. I honestly can’t believe you went through with it,” she said, and I winced.

  “I’m sorry. That was stupid, wasn’t it?”

  “Hey,” Corinne snapped. “I was kidding.” She bit her lip. “You didn’t feel forced into that, did you? Did you at least have fun? It was all consent and everything you wanted, right?” she asked, and I found myself sitting in my living room, my three roommates staring at me. Nessa handed me a cup of coffee, and Natalie sat next to me. Corinne just looked at me, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. “Did I pressure you? Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

  She sniffed, and I cursed under my breath.

  “You didn’t pressure me at all. It was an awesome line, though. So, thank you for that,” I said with a laugh, trying to ease the tension.

  She blinked at me and then threw back her head and laughed. “I love you so fricking much, Elise.”

  “Well, I love you, too,” Natalie said, kissing the top of my head. Nessa squeezed my knee.

  “Now, why don’t you tell us exactly what happened?”

  “And we’re going to need details. Because at least somebody got laid last night,” Natalie said with a laugh, and I shook my head.

  “You are beautiful, hilarious, and brilliant. Usually, I put brilliant first, but I felt like saying beautiful this time.”

  “Well, you’re right, I am all those things,” Natalie said and laughed. “And yet, no man. Still a virgin. I may die one. It will be horrible.”

  Corinne snorted as she sat on the chair opposite us. “You’re not going to die a virgin. I mean, I might die a virgin, but at least half of our house knows how to get laid.”

  I narrowed my eyes at Corinne.

  “You could have slept with Timmy, Tommy, and Danny, all in high school.”

  “Could you have any more small-town names?” Nessa said, snorting.

  “Maybe,” Corinne said. “But now, Tommy and Timmy are getting married. At twenty. And Danny is in jail. Aren’t we glad that I didn’t sleep with any of them?”

  “You still could have slept with Tommy or Timmy. They’re both pansexual,” I said.

  “And completely in love with each other since like the sixth grade. Once they finally let themselves feel that and got to know those emotions, I would have just been in the way. I didn’t need them. And we have done a great job of moving the conversation from your fulfilled sex life to my lack of one. Good job,” Corinne said, narrowing her eyes.

  I blushed, then took a sip of my coffee. “Great coffee,” I said, and Nessa beamed.

  “Thank you. I like the fact that I know exactly how you like it. You would think after a couple of semesters of being your roommate, I’d be good at it, but I still sometimes get it wrong.”

  “You got it right this time. Thank you.” I let out a breath. “Okay, what do you want to know?” I groaned as they all talked at once.

  “Was it good?”

  “Did he treat you right?”

  “How big was it?”

  I looked over at sweet and innocent Natalie and widened my eyes. “That is your question?” I asked with a laugh.

  She looked just about as shocked as I felt.

  “I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth.”

  “But I want to know that, too,” Corinne said, laughing.

  “I’m not talking about that. I will say that it was nice, hot, the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. And the only time it will ever happen.”

  They all stared at me.

  “Why?” Nessa finally asked.

  I shrugged. “We both said that we didn’t want a relationship, that we didn’t have time for one. And it was kind of fun with the whole one-night stand thing on the table.”

  “You told him you just wanted one night?” Natalie asked, aghast.

  �
�I think this is my fault,” Corinne said, cringing. “One-night stands never end up as one-night stands. Not if they’re good.”

  “Well, this one will.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, of course. Shit.” I pulled out my phone and texted quickly.

  Me: I’m home. Sorry. The girls ambushed me.

  A moment passed, and the girls just stared at me as I looked at my phone.

  Dillon: Glad you’re home. I was about to send out the National Guard to check on you. That or me and Pacey and my truck. I had fun. Will I see you at coffee?

  I blushed, then bit my lip.

  Me: Maybe. We’ll see. Bye.

  Dillon: LOL Okay. Have a good day, Elise.

  I let out a sigh and set down my phone as the three girls continued staring at me.

  “You are such a goner,” Nessa said.

  “A complete goner,” Natalie agreed.

  I looked up at my best friend, and Corinne just smiled. “Oh, I’m going to start taking bets on a two-night stand.”

  I narrowed my eyes and tossed a throw pillow at her.

  “Don’t spill your coffee. I’ll be really annoyed if I have to get coffee stains out of the fabric.”

  I kept glaring at Corinne. “No bets.”

  “Oh, there will be bets,” she said, laughing. “Now, do we go two nights? Three? Or do we just go straight to wedding bells?”

  The girls all started laughing, talking over one another, and I slumped into my chair, sipping my coffee and ignoring them.

  My phone was warm against my thigh, and I suddenly wanted to reach out and text him. To say something.

  I didn’t. It was important that I didn’t.

  But I had no idea what I was supposed to do next.

  Chapter 5

  Dillon

  * * *

  “And now we’re going to focus on what Dickens was truly trying to convey in Great Expectations.”

  I barely resisted the urge to growl. I had thought we’d spent the past forty-five minutes of class trying to convey what the content meant. But I guess I had been wrong. Apparently, we were going to dive deeper, at least in the last five minutes of class. And then I had a feeling our assignment for the evening would be to find the rest.

  I was exhausted, couldn’t focus, and already hated this class.

  The annoying part was that I wanted to like this one. It was my last English-focused track. Sadly, the creative writing class I had wanted to take had been full by the time I was able to sign up. I would be able to register my schedule on time like everybody else next semester, rather than a little behind like I had this time thanks to late enrollment. Either way, it wouldn’t help me this semester. I’d be taking a couple of additional science classes and labs for the rest of my college career, and then I’d move to the business and accounting track.

  I was going for a business management degree specialization with an operations management minor. I had thought about going with project management, but I wanted to stick with what Brendan had done so we could work together when adding onto the Connolly businesses. I’d had my name changed legally over a year ago now, and it was nice to think that I was a Connolly in truth, rather than the last name my mother had given me. It had taken longer than Cameron or I had wanted to get it done, but I’d had to become an adult rather than his ward to make it happen, thanks to legal issues that made my brain hurt.

  I’d always thought life was a little unfair with the way I hadn’t gotten to meet my brothers’ foster parents. Jack and Rose Connolly had built their bar and brewery and had made it brilliant. When Rose died, Jack had ended up alone in the bar, getting older and unable to handle it all. My brothers had had a huge fight over me, though they hadn’t known it at the time, and had ended up leaving Jack alone to run things. When Jack died, my three brothers came back, each bitter and angry. Still, they had somehow found a way to communicate with each other and make the brewery even better in Jack’s and Rose’s names.

  And, along the way, they had added me to the group, a true brother rather than a tagalong. It’d taken me a long time to realize how I fit in, and now that I had, I was trying to find my way on my own, as well. This was a road I had never known before—one I had never thought to be on. But I needed to find how to be the man I needed to become without my brothers helping me every step of the way. It was as if they wanted to put an entire childhood of being a big brother into one area, and it could sometimes be overwhelming. I wanted to prove that I could do this and make them proud of me. And to make that happen, I’d had to move out. I’d had to work on not having them pay for everything. Hence the scholarship, the new university, and trying to find a major that I liked.

  At one point, I’d thought I wanted to be a chef like my brother Aiden. And while I loved cooking, and I loved to cook with him, I wasn’t as inventive when it came to recipes. The kitchen’s high anxiety and heat was exhilarating for a little while, but I didn’t see myself doing it long-term. I had initially gone for a business degree at a different university and had taken cooking classes while learning with Aiden so I could one day be with him in the kitchen. However, it hadn’t worked out, and I was still afraid that Aiden wasn’t completely satisfied with how I had left things. I hoped he would be eventually. I just wasn’t sure exactly how he would ultimately feel.

  Our professor kept droning on, mostly about the wonders of all the authors on the reading list.

  As every single one was a so-called classic author, meaning there wasn’t a single diverse author on the page—let alone a female—I wasn’t putting too much stock in this. The other class I had wanted to take had a very complex reading list with books from this century, with a focus on things other than what my grandfather might have learned in school.

  But here I was, and I would get a damn A, even if it killed me.

  The professor ended class, assigning a paper we had to write over the weekend. I held back a groan but knew I had no choice. The assignment was on the syllabus, though the timing of the papers wasn’t. There was just a list of ones we would have to write. When we got to them, that’s when the professor assigned them. I wasn’t a massive fan of that, but then again, I wasn’t teaching the class.

  I stuffed my book and notebook into my bag and headed out. Some people had brought laptops into class, but our professor hated the sound of clicking keys. So, I wrote everything down by hand and then transferred it onto my computer later for focus. In the end, it helped me study better, so I couldn’t get mad about it.

  My phone buzzed, and I looked down at the screen. My jaw tightened, and I swallowed hard.

  I hit end and told myself it was nothing. The call didn’t need to be important.

  But I knew that number and the name associated with it. I might not know the man, nor had I even known his name until recently, but he had been a part of my creation, and therefore, he thought he needed to be a part of my life.

  I had no idea what my birth father wanted other than to annoy the fuck out of me and probably ask for money. That’s what he had done to Cameron the one time he had deigned to reach out—and he wasn’t even Cameron’s or Aiden’s father.

  So, I had lied to myself when I said that I didn’t know who my father was. Oh, I knew him. And, apparently, he wanted to get to know me. I didn’t trust the idea of that, though.

  I stuffed my phone into my pocket and headed towards the coffee house. There were three coffee shops on campus, as well as a smattering of little cafés, but this was the one that Elise had been to when I first saw her across the way. It was a silly thing, and she probably had a class or wasn’t even on campus right now. Surely, my luck wouldn’t hold out that I could see her again. Not that I was sure I wanted to. But I would probably be lying to myself if I said that I didn’t. I wanted to get to know her. She was fun, smart, and I wanted to see her again—and not only to see her naked.

  I shook my head, telling myself that train of thought was trouble. She didn’t want more from me, yet I couldn�
�t help but wonder if I could change that.

  There was something wrong with me, but I couldn’t change things right now.

  I moved towards the coffee shop, and a girl stood in front of me, stepping into my path. I looked up and blinked at Mandy. Mandy and I had gone out for a few weeks, but it hadn’t been serious. We had both said it wouldn’t get complicated. That we were just having fun. And then I found out that Mandy really didn’t want anything serious with me. Her goal really was only fun. To have a good time with as many people as she could. And I didn’t mind that. If that was what she wanted, I didn’t judge her. However, when she told me I wouldn’t ever be the forever type, and that she was only looking for sex, I realized I didn’t want that. I wanted to be worth more than that. So, I walked away. She hadn’t seemed to mind, and since she was currently walking away from a guy who stood there glaring at me, it appeared she had landed on her feet.

  “Dillon,” she said, smiling at me. “It’s good to see you.”

  “Hi, Mandy,” I said.

  “You’re looking great.”

  The guy behind her growled, and she rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder.

  “I’m not flirting, just saying hi. This is Jeff,” she said, pointing to the man behind her. “We’ve been seeing each other for a little bit now, and things are going great. I hope things are going great for you.”

  I shrugged. “Busy as usual. You look happy,” I said and meant it. Her eyes were bright, and she was grinning. She did look good.

  “Things are going great. School, Jeff, I just...well, I hope you find happiness, too. You know?”

  I tilted my head at her and nodded. “Finding happiness would be nice. I’m glad you found yours.”

  She gave me a somewhat uncomfortable shrug. “Well, I need to be off. I’ve got class in ten. We just needed some coffee.” Jeff held up two paper cups.

  “Have a good day, Mandy,” I said, and she gave me a little wave before skipping off with Jeff. She took a cup from him, tangled her fingers with his, and kissed him hard on the mouth. The big, hulking guy relaxed marginally yet still glared at me over his shoulder as the two of them left.