Chains' Redemption

by Carol Dawn

  “Why are we sitting in the dark?” I ask once I get my coughing under control.

  The room gets quiet. No one says a thing. I’m not even sure anyone is breathing.

  “We’re not, baby,” Blake says, softly.

  “What do you mean, we’re not?” I ask, my heart beating frantically.

  “I’m going to go have the doctor come back in,” the woman says.

  “Blake,” I say with a slightly stronger voice. “What do you mean we are not in the dark? The lights are clearly off.”

  “Hello, Mrs. Hunter, I’m Doctor Shelby. Are you in any pain?”

  It’s the voice of the first woman I heard.

  Wait, Mrs. Hunter?

  Ignoring that for a moment.

  “Blake says the lights aren’t off,” I tell her. “Are the lights on, Doctor?”

  “Yes, Mrs. Hunter. We were expecting this as a possibility. Your husband has been hounding my staff with possible treatments in case you woke up to this outcome.”

  My husband? What in the world is going on?

  “What outcome?” I whisper, ignoring the husband comment for now.

  I feel Blake’s hand squeeze mine. It’s a silent statement. I can feel him telling me, ‘I got you, baby.’ I love when he calls me baby. And, when he calls Sophia, babygirl.

  “When you came in,” Blake says. “Your brain was swelling, and they had to do a pretty invasive surgery, or you would have died.”

  “What type of surgery, Blake?” I ask. At this point, I’m terrified.

  “You had elevated Intracranial pressure,” the doctor says. “We had to do a decompressive craniectomy to relieve the pressure.”

  “They had to remove part of your skull, so your brain had room to swell before it killed you,” said a gruff voice.

  “Who is that?” I ask.

  “That’s my brother, Hawk,” Blake says. “He’s in a bad mood and it isn’t helping his patience any.”

  “No,” I say. “I appreciate his candidness. So, what you’re saying is, part of my skull is missing?”

  I reach up to see if what they’re saying is true. All I feel is a soft fabric where my head is. Chains` hand grabs mine and raises it until I feel the press of his warm lips.

  “There’s more, baby,” he says against my palm.

  Taking a deep breath, the doctor says, “You have, what is called, Traumatic Optic Neuropathy. It’s a condition where severe trauma causes acute injury to the optic nerve that results in vision loss.”

  What?

  “Are you saying I’m blind?” I ask, not sounding as freaked out as I felt.

  “As I was telling your husband before you woke up, there is a possibility for some vision to return. But I’m going to be completely honest with you, Mrs. Hunter, the chances are very small that it will come back completely. If at all.”

  Oh, god. I’m blind.

  “I’ll never get to see her grow up,” I mutter to myself. “How am I supposed to take care of my daughter?”

  A thousand thoughts are running through my mind. Now that I know the darkness is because I’m blind and not because the lights are off, the room feels like it’s closing in on me. I’m feeling trapped, confined.

  “I’m right here, baby,” Blake whispers against my ear. “I’ll always be right here.”

  In my lost, confused and very scared mind, I grab ahold of the man beside me, my anchor. He’s practically a stranger, but I feel like I know him down to my very soul.

  “I’m never going to see your face again,” I whisper back to him. I feel the tears flowing down my face.

  I can see his face in my mind just as strongly as I see Sophia’s. But, in my fear, they’re floating away. Disappearing behind a wall of complete darkness.

  “You have a choice to make, Mrs. Hunter,” Doctor Shelby says from somewhere in the room.

  “There are two possible treatments for Traumatic Optic Neuropathy. We can do a surgical procedure called, Optic Nerve Decompression. However, with your current medical conditions, the risks would be higher than normal. Or, we can try Systemic Corticosteroids. The results take longer with this treatment, but it is the safer path. Now, you must remember there is a possibility that neither procedure will work.”

  I take a minute to process what the doctor just said.

  “When you say, risks, what are you talking about?” Blake asks.

  I squeeze his hand in a silent, thank you. My heart is beating so fast that I can hardly hear. I am so terrified about my future. Sophia’s future.

  “The most feared risk would be complete vision loss,” the doctor answers. “It’s a risk with every procedure. We would have to wait for your wife’s intracranial pressure to subside if she does decide on the optic nerve decompression. The risk on her life is too great to attempt it until she is completely healed.”

  I want to watch my daughter grow up. I don’t want to risk my life any more than it already has been. With that thought in mind, I give them my choice.

  “I want to try the steroids. If they work, how long will it take before I notice?” I ask.

  “It’s different for each patient,” she answers. “Most start noticing a difference after a few weeks. How is your vision right now? You said earlier that you thought the lights were off. Are you seeing slithers of light? Floaters?”

  “No,” I whisper through my tears. “It’s the darkest I have ever seen. I don’t even see shadows in the darkness. It’s one solid void of emptiness.”

  “Right here, baby,” Blake says. His forehead still pressed against my temple.

  “Alright,” Doctor Shelby says. “I’ll get the IV started. You will be here for another week or two until that brain of yours goes down a size. Then you’ll be free to go home as long as we see no further complications.”

  Home. I haven’t had a home in a long time. I have no home to give to my daughter.

  I lose the battle I’ve been fighting since waking up. My strength flies out the window and I completely break down. I feel Blake squeeze his big body beside me in the hospital bed. He, oh so gently, wraps one arm around my waist, puts one of his legs on top of mine, and lays his head on my pillow with his face pressed against the side of my head.

  “Take my strength, Arabella,” he whispers to me. “I’m right here, baby. I have no plans on going anywhere.”

  “Her face is already disappearing,” my voice breaks through my pain. “Your face is disappearing. I’m already forgetting, Blake. I’m trying so hard but I’m already forgetting.”

  “I’ll never let you forget. We’ll get through this, baby.”

  “Where’s Sophia?”

  “She’s fine. She’s with Prez’s Ma.”

  I don’t know who Prez or Ma is, but I trust Blake.

  Nothing more is said. I cry until I can’t breathe. I cry until my tears dry up.

  I’m surrounded by a darkness that I never knew existed. A darkness that I can’t hide from. A darkness so empty that the air is still and quiet.

  How can I fight something so vast?

  “Right here, baby.”

  Blake.

  Sophia.

  I have to fight it. I have to win. Please God, let me beat this.

  Let me see their faces again.

  Chapter Nine

  Chains

  It took the doctors six days before they allowed Arabella to be taken out of the medically induced coma. Six days of constant worry that when they took her off the medication, she wouldn’t wake up.

  I was with Arabella for every second of every visiting hour. During those times, someone took care of Sophia for me because the nurse said she was too young to be in the ICU. When I wasn’t with her mom, Sophia was in my arms. With every passing moment, I fall more in love with this little princess.

  When Arabella woke up, it felt like I took my first deep breath in days. Finding out she lost her vision because of what Jack did made mine turn red. I held her as tight as I dared the first night she found out. Her tears broke my heart
into a thousand pieces.

  That was two weeks ago, and as each day passes, I can feel her pulling away more and more. Not only from me but from Sophia as well. Every time I bring her up, Arabella changes the subject.

  The swelling in her brain went down and they took her back to surgery a couple of days ago to replace the piece of her skull they removed. Everything went fine, and today I get to take her home.

  “I think we can get you out of here today, Mrs. Hunter,” Doctor Shelby says.

  I see the little crease between Arabella’s eyebrows every time she’s called, Mrs. Hunter. She’s confused and yet hasn’t asked me why they keep referring to her as my wife.

  “I’ll go have the nurse get the paperwork started.”

  “Thank you, doctor,” Arabella says.

  I walk over and sit on the edge of her bed and take her hand.

  “What’s going on in that mind of yours?” I ask her.

  “What color are your eyes?” she asks.

  The question breaks my heart.

  “Green,” I answer. “Just a shade darker than yours.”

  “What about Sophia’s? When she was first born, they were blue, but the nurse said they might change. Did they?”

  At this moment, I’m glad Arabella can’t see the anger on my face. It’s taking everything in me not to hunt Jack down and wrap my chain around his fucking neck until he stops breathing.

  “They’re still blue, baby. A light blue, though.”

  A small smile appears on her beautiful, albeit still bruised, face. But, just as quickly as it appeared, it vanishes.

  I watch her face closely as her eyes begin to swell and her silent tears fall.

  “I’m afraid,” she whispers.

  I remain silent and squeeze her hand, letting her know that I’m right here beside her. She needs this moment to sort through her thoughts.

  “I can’t see, Blake. I can’t make it to the bathroom without running into everything. How am I supposed to take care of a baby? I kind of remember my way around the trailer, but I’m terrified that I’m going to do something that will hurt Sophia.”

  What? Does she think she’s going back to that trailer?

  “Baby, you’re not going back there. You and babygirl and coming home with me. And, don’t even try to talk your way out of it. You need help and I have a massive family who is willing to give us all the help we could ever need.”

  She doesn’t say anything but releases her grip on my hand and lowers her head.

  “Not to mention,” I continue without letting go of her hand. “I’m never letting the two of you out of my sight again.”

  She’s fighting the demons in her mind. I can tell she’s going to say something that I’m not going to like.

  “I’ve been thinking,” she says to her lap.

  “About what, baby?”

  “Maybe I’m not the right person to be Sophia’s mother.”

  “Why would you think that?” I ask.

  She takes a deep breath before releasing it. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Blake. About where I come from. About why Sophia even exists in the first place.” She angrily wipes away her tears.

  “I love her with everything I am. But what if I never get my vision back? How can I take care of her if I can’t even take care of myself? I’m broken. I have jagged pieces that might not ever get put back together.”

  Fuck.

  “You’re not broken, my sweet girl,” I tell her. “You are a wonderful mother. And, I will always be by your side. I will always be here to help you through each and every obstacle. Be it an emotional one, or a trip from our room to the bathroom.”

  She raises her head and looks at me. Her gaze is a little off, but I’m not going to tell her that.

  “You confuse me, Blake Hunter.”

  “Oh yeah?” I reply with a grin. “Whys that?”

  “You don’t even know who I am. Do you even know my last name?”

  “Of course. It’s Hunter.”

  I wait for it.

  Any second now.

  There it is, that little crease between her eyebrows.

  “Why does everyone keep calling me that?”

  I chuckle at her confused look. She’s not angry at being called by my last name. She hasn’t corrected a single person since we’ve been here. She’s just confused.

  “When I first got here, they wouldn’t tell me anything about how you were doing. Trigger spoke up and said that they can’t withhold information about my wife. It worked. So, you became Mrs. Arabella Hunter,” I end with a big grin.

  Not wanting her to miss out on how the thought of her being my future wife makes me feel, I lift her hand and place the tips of her fingers against my lips.

  She gasps. “You’re smiling,” she whispers. “And, it’s a big smile. You like that I’m Arabella Hunter in here, don’t you?”

  I want to tell her that I can’t wait to make her Arabella Hunter to the whole world, but I’ll keep that thought to myself.

  For now.

  I kiss the tips of her fingers instead of answering.

  She moves her fingers from my mouth to my nose. Then she gently slides them up to my eyes and down to my cheekbones. It takes me a moment to understand what she’s doing but when I do, I only smile wider. She’s trying to remember me. To remember my face.

  “My god,” she says. “Your features are perfect. Were you this perfect looking when I saw you last?”

  “That’s why he’s called, Hollywood,” Ink says from the doorway.

  “Ink,” Arabella says, looking toward the door.

  “That’s right, Bella,” he says with a smug fucking look. “Glad to know you recognized my voice.”

  “You have an accent the others don’t have. You try to hide it, but I can hear it just fine.”

  Okay, fucker or not, he made her smile, so I won’t kill him this time.

  “Wait, I thought you were called Chains?” She asks.

  “I am,” I say through gritted teeth.

  “He just looks like a Hollywood model. So, you’ll occasionally hear someone shout it out, mostly me,” Ink says. “Usually followed by a grunt when he tackles me to the ground. I got lucky today.”

  “You made my girl smile,” is all I say.

  “We’re ready to break you out of here,” Hawk says as he shoves Ink aside and walks in the room.

  “Huh?” I smile again, knowing that my brothers have my back. That my brothers have a new adopted sister and she doesn’t even realize it yet.

  “Bear called,” Hawk says. “Rose has everything set up. He said she had a blast doing it and made sure everything was taken care of.”

  “Doc said the nurse will be in here in a few minutes with the discharge papers,” Ink says.

  Fucking finally.

  “Who has Sophia?” Arabella asks.

  “Trigger,” Hawk says. “And I probably should get back down there with him. He’s good until she starts to cry. Then he looks like he wants to destroy the world to give her what she wants just to make her stop.”

  “He’s a good person,” Arabella says.

  “You only say that because you can’t see his scary fucking face,” Ink jokes.

  I know he means well, but pointing out that she can’t see is a stupid move. I’m glaring at him trying to remember what his weakest spots are for when I kick his ass when my woman’s laugh surprises me.

  “Perhaps,” she says through her cute as fuck giggles. “But, something in his voice is kind and comforting.”

  “Kind and comforting?” Ink asks. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same Trigger? Because that fucker is as far from kind and comforting as a person can get.”

  “I think that’s what he wants you to see,” she says.

  “Here you are, Mrs. Hunter. I’m giving your husband your prescriptions and instruction papers on what to keep an eye out for. Is it alright if I go over everything while your friends are in the room?” The nurse asks.

 
“Of course,” I say.

  “They’re family,” Arabella answers. My grin matches that of my brothers. That’s right, baby. You’re stuck with me. Which means you’re stuck with all of them, too.

  “Lucky woman,” the nurse mutters. “Okay, I’m going to do a quick vitals check before you head out. How is your vision?” she asks as she wraps a blood pressure cuff around Arabella’s arm. “Do you see any flashes or occasional bursts of light? No matter how small, it’s all important.”

  “Everything is still very dark,” Arabella says. “Earlier I thought the darkness brightened a little bit. But it was over so fast that it could have just been my mind.”

  This is news to me. Of course, she doesn’t have to tell me everything, but I don’t want her to feel like she’s going through this alone.

  We’ll work on it.

  “Don’t discount anything you might see,” the nurse says. “Keep taking your medication and Doctor Shelby wants to see you in her office in two weeks.”

  “Alright. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Mrs. Hunter. Take care of her, gentlemen,” the nurse says before leaving.

  “Are you ready, baby?” I ask her.

  “Ready for what?” she asks.

  “To go home.”

  Chapter Ten

  Bella

  I’m in Blake’s living room waiting on him to get back. He went to put Sophia to bed. With all the new medication I’m taking, I can no longer nurse my baby. It breaks my heart, but I guess with my current situation it’s a good thing that others can help feed her.

  Sophia’s conception was one of terror. My pregnancy was emotional for many different reasons but not one time did I ever not want my child. Not once, did I ever wish her away. Not until earlier at the hospital.

  I’m so afraid that I won’t be able to care for her. I’m terrified that Jack will take her again and I won’t be able to stop him. There are just so many things running through my mind and I’m having a difficult time processing them all.

  Most of all, why is Blake taking us under his wing? I do feel a connection with him. From the moment he shoved me and Sophia in his truck that cold snowy night, I felt safe. It feels like I’ve always known Blake. He feels like home.