by Ryan Field
Morton took a deep breath and sighed. He spread his arms wide and said, “I’m just trying to do my best under the circumstances.” He’d had a huge fight that morning with Harrison about his drinking and about the fact that Harrison had started staying out all night and he didn’t know where he was anymore. Morton had been so mad that morning he’d picked up a vase in the living room and hurled it through a huge plate glass window. This of course turned out to be a huge waste of time, because Harrison simply walked to the bar, poured himself another drink, and went back to the studio to continue working on a new song.
Sam hugged him and said, “I know that. And I know how hard you work to get things perfect for the fans. The smart people around you will realize that.”
This made Morton laugh. “I hear my nickname around here is Dragon Lady.” He really did just want everything to be prefect for his fans. They were the ones who mattered the most. Now that things with Harrison were so bad at home, and the fights were getting worse, he threw himself into his work even more because that’s what helped get him through the worst times.
“Well I wouldn’t let that worry me,” Sam said. “You’re the star and you’re the one in charge. I have complete faith in you and I never have complete faith in anyone.”
“That’s the irony of it all,” Morton said. “I never wanted to be the one in charge. I always thought Harrison would be in charge and all I’d have to do was worry about performing. And now you’re in New York all the time, and Harrison is home, and I’m on my own.”
“How’s he doing?” Sam asked, with a concerned tone.
“The same as always,” Morton said. “But he has been working on new music and I think they’re wonderful songs. They’re very different, and not like anything he’s done before. I want you to listen to them. I haven’t worked out the details yet, but I want to do a few new songs with Harrison. I want to figure out some way that we can work together. I’m tired of all this separation.” This is why he was rehearsing that day in Palm Springs instead of in New York. He’d purchased a dilapidated old golf course and he’d turned it into his own private music studio so he could be closer to Harrison. He’d grown weary of commuting back and forth from New York. And Harrison seemed content in the desert. So he adjusted his own life to accommodate Harrison.
“I don’t know,” Sam said. “He’s burned almost every bridge there is to burn in the music business. His career is over. You have to face the facts sooner or later, Morton.”
“Don’t you dare say that,” Morton said. He looked him directly in the eye. “He’s my husband and the only thing I have to do is love and support him. He’s the best there is and he made you a very wealthy man. The least you could do is listen to his new music and help him out of this rut he’s in.” He lowered his voice and took Sam’s hand. “And I need someone to help me out right now. Can I count on you?”
Sam smiled. “Okay. You know I love him, too. I’ll listen to whatever he has. I can’t promise anything but I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you, Sam. That’s all I’m asking. You’re more than a manager. You’re a good friend.”
After Sam left, they went back to rehearsal and the new keyboard player finally understood what Morton wanted. He made the transition from one key to another so effortlessly Morton ran over and hugged him. Morton took this as a good sign for the rest of the day, and he went home later that day feeling lighter and happier than he had in weeks. He stopped on the way at a small gourmet food store on Palm Canyon and bought Harrison’s favorite cheese and a loaf of homemade French bread. He planned to have a simple supper that night and then make love to Harrison like they used to make love when they’d first met. Lately, the more they argued, the less they made love. The last two times they’d made love was with Gregory. Ever since the Grammy Awards, Gregory had been coming down to Palm Springs regularly for three-way sex. The only problem with that was the three-way sex had turned into two-way sex, with Gregory making love to Morton while Harrison drank vodka and watched. Morton was glad he had Gregory. He’d turned out to be a good friend and a good lover, but the only man Morton loved was Harrison. And he was desperate to make his marriage work.
When Morton pulled up to the house that afternoon, he found Nico in the driveway running in circles, barking at his car. At first Morton thought Nico was barking because he didn’t recognize the car. Harrison had just bought them both brand new sports cars, one in red and the other in white. Morton drove the white car and he still wasn’t used to it himself.
He grabbed the grocery bag and unfolded from the car. He reached down to pet the top of Nico’s head and said, “Calm down, boy. It’s only me. What on Earth are you so worked up about?” He was still barking and jumping around. Morton had never seen him behave this way.
“Let’s go inside and get you some water,” Morton said to the dog. He thought maybe he was thirsty and Harrison had forgotten to fill his water bowl, which wouldn’t have been unusual for Harrison. He forgot to water himself most of the time. When he was working on new music he got so lost he barely knew what time of day it was.
As Morton started toward the front door, he heard music coming from the back of the house. He figured Harrison must be out back by the pool, so he turned in that direction and headed toward a gate on the side of the house that would lead him to the pool. Nico followed, still barking and jumping as if he were trying to tell Morton something.
The music grew louder and Morton rounded a hedge and glanced out at the pool. At first he saw Harrison resting back against the coping. He was naked, which wasn’t unusual. They were totally secluded high up there on the ridge and they both swam nude. He continued toward the other side of the pool where Harrison was resting and stopped suddenly. He dropped the bag of groceries and Nico stopped barking. Apparently, Harrison wasn’t alone. He hadn’t been able to see anyone else because Harrison’s back had been facing him. At a closer distance, he now saw a young blond guy’s head bobbing up and down between Harrison’s legs. The young guy had long straight blond hair, and he was naked, too. He had Harrison’s dick in his mouth and Harrison was forcing the guy’s head down between his legs with one hand.
This went against their open relationship agreement, and Morton started to wonder how many other young naked blond guys had been servicing his husband when he wasn’t around. He wondered how stupid he could have been not to see this coming. His face grew warm and he tightened his fists. While Nico took a few steps back, he proceeded forward and walked right up to catch them both in the act.
The guy who was sucking Harrison’s cock looked up and blinked.
Harrison glanced up over his shoulder and saw Morton looking down at him. He said, “Oh shit,” and Morton said, “You lying, cheating, fucking bastard.”
The naked blond guy stopped sucking Harrison’s dick and asked, “Who’s this piece of work?”
“I’m his husband, you little piece of shit, that’s who I am,” Morton shouted. “Now get my husband’s dick out of your mouth, grab your clothes, and get the hell out of my house.”
The blond guy didn’t seem to get it. “Hey, you can’t talk to me like that. I was invited here by Harrison, not you. You’re nothing to me.”
Morton pointed at him and glowered. “Let me tell you something. If you’re not out of here within 30 seconds I’m going to yank you by the back of the neck and drag you out myself.”
“You can’t talk to me that way,” the guy said.
Harrison sat up and said, “Get out of here. Just do what he says.”
Then Harrison turned and headed toward the back of the house. While the blond guy stood up to get dressed, Morton followed Harrison into the house with Nico not far behind. He followed him through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the studio. As Harrison made his way to the bar to pour himself a glass of vodka, Morton picked up a lamp and threw it at him.
Harrison ducked down just in time. The lamp flew over his head and broke a mirror on the wall.
“You sono
fabitch,” Morton said. “So this is why you’re not coming home at night anymore. How long have you been seeing him?”
“It’s not like that,” Harrison said. “I just met him.”
“How many others have you been fucking behind my back? Is that what you do when you’re out all night? I guess I’m not enough for you.”
Harrison took a long swallow and shrugged. “Does it really matter?”
“Yes,” Morton said. “Yes, it matters. This wasn’t part of the agreement. We never agreed to see other people this way. You’ve humiliated me in every way possible, and now you’re doing it again by cheating on me. I can’t believe I trusted you this long. I should have seen this coming. How fucking stupid could I be?”
“It’s not like that,” Harrison said. “I’m not trying to humiliate you. I’m just passing the time, is all. You never do anything but work. It’s not a big deal. These guys don’t mean anything to me.”
“Yes it is a big deal,” Morton said. He picked up another lamp and threw it at Harrison. He jumped sideways and the lamp hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. “This wasn’t what we agreed to in the beginning.”
Harrison took another drink and shrugged. “Things change, cutie.”
His nonchalant attitude and his total dismissal made Morton want to jump on his back and pull him to the floor. Morton started throwing things around the room. He picked up anything he saw and tossed it in Harrison’s direction. He overturned chairs, kicked tables and even ripped a pillow to shreds. Nico found a safe place near the fireplace and he watched them fight as if he were watching a tennis match. The poor dog was so used to them fighting by then he didn’t even bark.
When he finally had enough, he stopped throwing things and said, “I want a divorce. I want you out of the house.”
“It’s my house,” Harrison said.
“It’s our house, and I want you out. We can figure everything out in court and split everything down the middle.” He almost said it was his house because he was the one who’d earned the money that had pulled Harrison out of debt. Since he’d been working and since he’d become a star, he’d been paying for everything. But he didn’t say this aloud. He couldn’t bring himself to hurt Harrison that way and he never once minded paying for everything. He knew Harrison would do the same for him.
“You don’t mean that,” Harrison said. He walked over to him and held his shoulders.
“Don’t touch me. Get out. I want a divorce.”
“Look me in the eye and say that.”
Morton looked up at him and spoke with a softer voice. “I’ve been through this before. My one dad was an alcoholic and he destroyed our family. Literally and figuratively. And my other dad never said a word. He pretended there was nothing wrong, and he wound up getting killed in an accident as a result. After that, I vowed I would never make the same mistake. You’re not going to bring me down into the gutter with you. I won’t let that happen.”
“It’s not like that with us,” Harrison said. “You tell me all the time I’m a fuck up. You don’t hold anything back. And I know I’m a drunk.”
“And it hasn’t worked. I’ve had enough,” Morton said.
“I’m not going to see that guy outside by the pool anymore,” Harrison said. “He doesn’t mean anything to me.”
Morton shook his head and looked down at the floor. “It’s not about him, Harrison. It’s everything. I’m starting to hate you and I don’t like the way that feels. I never thought I would hate you.”
Harrison held his shoulders tighter and spoke with a wrecked voice. “Don’t you ever say that. You can say anything you want. You can call me any name you want. But don’t you ever say you hate me. I would never say that to you.”
Then he leaned over and tried to kiss Morton. Even though Morton tried to push him away, he persisted, but in a gentle forceful way. He was big enough and strong enough to overpower Morton, but he didn’t do that. He only held him a little tighter and refused to let go. As if he already knew he was too much for Morton to resist.
The instant his rough beard brushed against Morton’s cheek, Morton felt his legs getting weaker and he didn’t have the strength to fight it. Morton took a breath, closed his eyes and inhaled his scent. If he did fight to break free, it wouldn’t prove anything. There was only one thing for him to do, at that moment and for the rest of his life. He stopped fighting Harrison and reached up to hold his head. His thick brown hair felt soft and he guided Harrison’s lips to his. They both fell back on the sofa and kissed as if nothing terrible or heart-wrenching had ever happened to them. And when Morton got up from the sofa an hour later, his underpants were on one side of the room, and his socks on the other.
Chapter Twenty-One
When Sam asked if Morton would be interested in doing a music video in the desert at a place called Salvation Mountain, he agreed immediately. The Coachella Music Festival was coming up again, and Sam wanted to promote Morton as one of the Coachella Festival performers in a desert atmosphere. Morton and Harrison had been spending far more time living in the Coachella Valley than in New York, and they really were local in that sense. But more than that, Salvation Mountain was located about two hours south of Palm Springs, not far from the infamous wasteland of The Salton Sea. In a place so vapid and so remote from the rest of the California it was hard to believe it was still part of the United States.
Although Morton had never been to this odd place called Salvation Mountain, he knew that one of the songs Harrison had recently written was about Salvation Mountain and he’d titled it, Salvation. It was the sweetest and the most emotional song Harrison had ever written, with strong symbolic lyrics and a flowing melody. It was the truest example of a rock song with popular potential and Morton believed it could be a huge hit for both of them. In many ways the song reminded Morton of the salvation Harrison had been craving in his own life, and he’d transferred all his own personal thoughts, emotions and demons into music as if he’d been trying to figure something out. But more than all this, Salvation was a true love song between two gay men who were planning to spend the rest of their lives together, and it was even better than Harrison’s song titled, The Last Man.
However, the only way Morton would agree to do a music video at Salvation Mountain was if Harrison did that song with him. And he made this clear to Sam, without even discussing it with Harrison first. He wanted them both to sing Salvation together in the video, and later at the music festival. Morton had been searching to figure out a way they could both work together and combine their lives, and saving his marriage was his only thought at that moment. He knew if he didn’t figure out a way for them to work together they’d never last as a couple.
At first Sam refused to even entertain the idea. He argued that it was best for Morton to keep his career separate from Harrison’s, and he said no one was willing to invest their money in Harrison anymore. Morton persisted, and he said he would invest his own money in the entire project. Morton knew it was a gamble but he believed they could do this together. He told Sam that working with Harrison could only improve his career because the entire world knew they were married, the entire world wanted them to remain married, and that he would only work better if Harrison was with him. He refused to back down on this one point, and Sam finally agreed to shoot the video at Salvation Mountain with both of them. Then he told Morton to start rehearsing the new song with Harrison, because he wanted to shoot the video in two weeks so there would be time to promote it before the next Coachella Music Festival.
When Morton approached Harrison about doing the song together that same night at dinner, he remained silent for a long time and Morton waited for his reply. It was a clear warm night in Palm Springs and the stars seemed extra bright. They were outside at a dining table near the pool eating Chinese take out and Morton started talking about all the reasons why they should work together on this song. The first thing he mentioned was the video being shot at Salvation Mountain. He talked about how much
he needed Harrison’s direction and how lost he felt without him lately. He talked about how much the public wanted to see them perform together, and how much the public loved the fact that they were married and so much in love. And Harrison sat there eating pizza and listening without saying a word.
When Morton finally finished, he looked at Harrison and said, “Well? Will you do it? I don’t want to be pushy, but we don’t have much time. We’ve only got two weeks to rehearse and then we shoot the video on location at Salvation Mountain and drop the song. I’ve got a good feeling about this, Harrison. Don’t be a dickhead and let me down.”
Harrison laughed, and then he shrugged. “Of course I’ll do it, cutie. You had me at Salvation Mountain. I couldn’t refuse that. Besides, it couldn’t hurt.”
“Then why did you let me ramble on like that? My jaw hurts from talking so much.”
Harrison smiled. “You were so excited I wanted to see how long you could talk.”
The next morning they organized the musicians and started rehearsing Harrison’s new song, Salvation. Harrison took control of all direction and production and the only thing Morton had to worry about was performing. He chose his simple trademark costume for the video, a short black mini-dress, black stilettos and his own hair. He used very little make-up this time, and the only jewelry he wore were long silver earrings and a few silver rings. This wasn’t an outrageous showy number, and Salvation Mountain wasn’t a glittery Las Vegas Casino. From what Morton had heard and read about Salvation Mountain it had a funky, throwback to the 1960s hippie feel, with religious undertones, and he didn’t want to clash with that magnificent historic environment by looking out of place.
The next two weeks were the fastest of Morton’s life. For the first time since Morton had met him, Harrison jumped back into his work as if he’d never left it. He didn’t drink; he didn’t take one single drug. Not even pot. They worked non-stop, every single day, from the moment they woke up in the morning until the moment they were so exhausted they fell into bed at night. They skipped meals and wore the same clothes for days at a time. The musicians camped out at the house, and they were thrilled to get the work and become part of this video. Everyone involved with the project had this feeling they were doing something special, even though no one was quite sure what that was and no one could put that into words.