The Facilitator

by Tracie Podger

  I scanned the room. It was a wonderful old building, one side a dining room and the other, the bar with sofas.

  “There’s a wait for the table, do you want to sit?” Jerry said.

  “Of course.”

  He picked up the bottle of red and the two glasses and we headed to the only available sofa.

  “What’s up, Lauren,” Jerry said as he poured the wine.

  “Nothing, why do ask?”

  “You don’t seem your usual self.”

  “I’m fine, just a little stressed, and I needed some company today. I should have rung the estate agent but I keep putting it off. Although I signed the division of assets form this morning. Scott can have what he’s demanding, I just want closure now.”

  “Better to do that before he sees what your new salary is likely to be.”

  “I don’t know what my new salary is going to be. I wonder if I could ask Gabriella to delay my appointment until the divorce is done.”

  “How long does it take to get divorced?”

  “It’s straightforward. He hasn’t contested the reasons so I’m hoping a couple more months. It’s been about six months already.”

  “Don’t you have to do the two-year wait thing?”

  “No, because I cited his adultery and he didn’t fight that.”

  I took a sip of my wine.

  “I’m glad you’re getting rid of him. He’s nothing but a waste of space.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, and I wasted nearly fifteen years on him.”

  Jerry raised his glass to mine. “Well, here’s to our exciting new futures.”

  It was as I started to take another sip that I saw Mackenzie. My glass hovered near my mouth when he walked in. My jaw dropped when I saw his companion.

  A tall blonde, immaculately dressed woman accompanied him. He placed his hand on her back as they threaded their way through the throng of people to the bar.

  “Mack…” I placed my hand on Jerry’s arm to halt his words.

  He turned to me, his brow furrowed.

  “He has company, he might not want to be disturbed,” I said.

  However, Mackenzie had heard. He looked over, following the sound of his name.

  Jerry stood and I had no choice but to follow as he walked over. If I’d stayed put, Jerry would have had a hundred questions as to why I’d been so rude, I was sure of that.

  “Jerry, Lauren,” Mackenzie said, as he shook Jerry’s hand.

  “Lauren was lonely so I thought I’d introduce her to your pub,” Jerry said. I cringed, not wanting Mackenzie to know that.

  “You’ll love the food here,” he said, looking at me.

  Until that point he hadn’t introduced his companion, she stood just to his side with a smile on her face. I watched her place her hand on his arm.

  “Introduce us,” she said. She had an American Southern accent, the same as Gabriella.

  “I’m sorry. Jerry, Lauren, this is Addison. Addison, Jerry owned a company I’ve just acquired and Lauren is to transfer as CEO.”

  She reached out to take my hand; she had a firm handshake.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said to us both.

  “We just booked a table, do you want to join us?” Jerry said. I could have kicked him.

  Addison wore a cream trouser suit and high heels that had her tower over me. Her makeup was perfect, her nails manicured. In my jeans and shirt, with Converse on my feet, I felt completely dull beside her.

  “That would be wonderful,” she said. “Shall we?” she asked Mackenzie. He nodded.

  “Let me change the table,” Jerry said. He left me standing there as he went back to the bar.

  “Erm, we have a bottle of wine, if you’d like some,” I said. Wanting to shrink from her gaze.

  “Thank you, it’s kind of you to ask us to join you,” she said.

  “I’m sure Jerry and Lauren would prefer to spend their lunch time on their own,” Mackenzie said.

  “No way, it’s cool,” Jerry said, as he returned carrying two more glasses. “Table changed, just got to wait another ten minutes.”

  I turned and walked back to the sofa we’d left our drinks at, wanting to curse that the one opposite was then vacant.

  Jerry and I sat one side; Mackenzie and Addison took the opposite one.

  “Are you here on holiday?” Jerry asked, as he poured more wine.

  “Sort of. It’s a beautiful country, Mackenzie has been showing me around.”

  Jerry peppered her with questions and I kept my gaze low as I sipped my wine. I listened as she explained that she’d recently taken a tour around Europe, detailing museums and art houses she’d visited in Milan and Paris.

  “Have you been to Milan?” she asked. It was the pause that alerted me to the fact she’d addressed me.

  “I haven’t, I hear it’s a stunning place.”

  She detailed her holiday, laughing as she recalled memories. Jerry asked her a question but I’d tuned out. That was until she answered one.

  “Mackenzie and I honeymooned in Europe,” she said.

  I froze; I think I even blinked rapidly.

  “Oh, so you’re married?” Jerry said.

  She was interrupted from answering by the waitress approaching to tell us our table was ready. I wanted to kick the fucking waitress as well. I wanted the answer as to whether they were divorced or not. Gabriella had told me her brother had seduced Mackenzie’s wife. But I had no idea if that caused a divorce or even how long ago that was.

  They didn’t live together; I’d been to his house, twice. There had been no evidence of her there. But then he was back and forth to the U.S. constantly. Did he live with her when he was back home?

  We stood and I allowed Mackenzie and Addison to walk ahead. Jerry lowered his head to mine.

  “She’s a stunner,” he whispered. I pinched him hard on the arm.

  I trailed behind and was thankful Addison had taken the seat beside Mackenzie and not opposite. I let Jerry sit first, which meant I was left facing Addison.

  “So you work with Jerry, Lauren?”

  “I did, until he sold out, of course.”

  “And now what?”

  “Now I transfer to one of Mackenzie’s companies. It's all a little in the planning stages right now,” I said.

  “How exciting for you.”

  I didn’t think she was being condescending, and I hated the fact that she was actually a pleasant person. I didn’t want to like her, but I did. She was friendly, talkative, and interesting.

  I certainly didn’t want to see her place her hand on Mackenzie’s arm, to defer to him when menus were placed on the table and she asked him to choose for her. I didn’t want to see her smile up at him. My stomach lurched when he smiled back.

  “I wanted to see as much of the U.K. as I could while I was here. Mackenzie has offered to show me around London, but where else should I visit?” she asked me.

  “If you have enough time, the South West is wonderful. My mum lives in Cornwall and it’s one of my favourite places,” I said, once I’d placed my order.

  “I’d love to see some of Scotland, too.” She looked over to Mackenzie. “Maybe we can do that?”

  Before he answered, I excused myself. I didn’t need the ladies, just not to hear his reply.

  I sat in a cubicle for a few moments. I couldn’t imagine Scott and I being so civilised. I began to wonder what had caused her to have an affair. Or had she? I only knew what Gabriella had said. Daniel had stolen Mackenzie’s wife. I had no idea what that actually meant, or even if Addison and Daniel were still together.

  Did Mackenzie still love her? Was that why he was showing her around London? I wasn’t jealous, or at least I didn’t think I was, I just needed to know where I stood in that relationship. Maybe I didn’t stand anywhere.

  When I thought I’d spent enough time away, I returned to hear her laugh at something Jerry had said.

  “I’d love to spend a little more time with you guys,” she sa
id, as I sat. “You are a funny guy, Jerry.”

  There was no opportunity to answer as the waitress placed our meals on the table.

  Jerry and Addison chatted through lunch, Mackenzie joined in when required, and I stayed mostly quiet. I’d lost my appetite and pushed most of my food around my plate. When I finally laid my cutlery down, having given up on eating, I noticed the others had finished their meals.

  Another bottle of wine was ordered, and as much as I wanted to drown myself in alcohol, I opted for water.

  “How long are you in town, Addison?” Jerry asked.

  “I’m not sure, I guess that depends on Mackenzie,” she replied.

  I kicked Jerry on the ankle before he could ask any more. He frowned at me, in a not so subtle way.

  “Sorry, getting comfortable,” I said, with a smile.

  “We’re off to the theatre later, I’ve been dying to see a show,” she said.

  “What are you seeing?” I asked.

  “Les Misérables, Mackenzie was able to secure a box for us. I’m so excited.”

  “I’ve seen it, many times. It’s a wonderful show. I’m sure you’re going to enjoy it.”

  “We saw it on Broadway, some time ago, but seeing a show in London just has to be done. I’d also like to see some Shakespeare, maybe at the open-air theatre in Regent’s Park.”

  “I’d wait for some nicer weather for that,” I said.

  A pot of coffee and four small cups were placed on the table. Mackenzie poured. He slid one over to Jerry and Addison picked hers up. Mackenzie handed me a cup and as my fingers brushed his, I felt a spark of static. I wouldn’t look at him though. I could feel his stare, but I mumbled my thanks and raised the cup to my lips.

  I willed the time to speed up and was thankful when I saw Mackenzie glance at his watch.

  “We need to get going,” he said, as he waved at a passing waitress to gain her attention.

  “Isn’t it a little early?” Addison replied.

  “I have to shower and change. I have a call to make as well,” he said.

  The waitress placed the bill on the table and both Jerry and Mackenzie reached for it.

  “I’ll get this,” Jerry said. “Lauren and I are not in a rush to leave just yet.”

  We stood to say goodbye. I held out my hand and Mackenzie took it. “Mr. Miller,” I said.

  Addison ignored my outstretched hand and pulled me into a hug instead.

  “It was great to meet you, Lauren. Hopefully we can do this again, soon,” she said.

  I smiled instead of giving a reply. I slumped back into my seat as they left.

  “I didn’t know he was married,” Jerry said.

  “I think they’re separated, or maybe divorced.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Gabriella said.”

  “Sure doesn’t look like it was an acrimonious split.”

  “No, doesn’t, does it?”

  I picked up a clean glass and filled it with wine. I handed the bottle to Jerry, who topped up his own.

  For a moment we were silent. I kept my eyes down, looking at the table.

  “Lauren,” Jerry said. I raised my gaze slowly to his.

  “Aw fuck, babe. It’s him, isn’t it? The mystery man.”

  I let a tear roll down my cheek.

  “You cannot say a word, Jerry. You need to promise me that.”

  “I won’t but, Jesus, Lauren! And there was me wittering on about their marriage. Are they married or what?”

  “I don’t know. They’re separated or divorced, like I said.”

  “He hasn’t told you?”

  “We’re not dating, Jerry. Just…spending some time together.”

  ‘You are on dangerous ground here.”

  “I know.”

  He took a sip of his wine and for a while he wouldn’t meet my gaze. He looked hurt. I placed my hand on his arm.

  “You’re my friend, Jerry, probably my only friend. I wouldn’t risk that friendship for anything,” I said.

  “I know, but sure doesn’t feel good to know you’re spending time with him.” He gave me a sad smile.

  “I’ve fucked up, haven’t I?” I whispered.

  “Not with me. I’ll get over it. But I don’t want you to get hurt, and I have a feeling you’re about to.”

  “So do I. I got in to whatever it is with open eyes; I’m a big girl. I’ll deal with it, and to be honest, it’s coming to an end anyway.”

  “Your choice, or his?”

  “My choice.”

  One more night, and I’ll call a halt to it. Hadn’t that been my thought?

  “Can we skip that walk? I think I’d like to go home,” I said. Jerry laid some cash in the leather holder with the bill and we left.

  ****

  Jerry gave me a hug as I was dropped off back at my apartment. I tried not to let the misery overwhelm me as I opened my apartment door.

  Why couldn’t Addison have been ugly? Or mean? Why did she have to be pretty and nice?

  I made tea and sat at the kitchen table. My phone began to ring. I rifled through my handbag to retrieve it. Mackenzie had called me.

  “Hi,” I said, as I answered the call.

  “Hey. I’m sorry about that. I guess that wasn’t the best lunch you’ve had.”

  “It’s okay. I was a little surprised, of course. You have every right to dine with your wife.”

  “Ex-wife. We’re divorced, Lauren.”

  “Ex-wife then. It’s okay; there was no need to call. She seemed a lovely woman.”

  “Yes, there was. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Honestly, I’m fine. You have a lovely evening,” I said, forcing my voice to sound cheerful.

  “I’ll be in the office tomorrow, I want to meet with you.”

  “Of course, just let me know what time.”

  He paused and I heard him sigh.

  “Mackenzie, I’m not going to kick off about you spending time with your ex-wife. You have every right to spend time with whoever you want. It’s not like we have any kind of a relationship.”

  He didn’t answer and I wondered if the call had been cut off. I brought it away from my ear and looked at the screen.

  “Are you there?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow then, Lauren. Say ten o’clock?” His voice was clipped.

  “I’ll be there. Thank you for calling,” I said.

  He said goodbye and I cut off the call. I placed the phone on the table and then cried.

  I will not fall for…fuck, I already had. I cried harder.

  ****

  I dressed in a purple shirt, black trousers, and black high-heeled shoes the following morning. I piled my hair on top of my head, letting loose tendrils fall around my face, and I applied my makeup. I wasn’t going to let Mackenzie know that I’d spent the night pining for him; or that my stomach ached for his touch.

  I concealed the nerves as I walked into my office and bade a good morning to my team. I laughed at the wolf whistle I received from Jenny. I kept the fake smile on my face until it was nearly ten o’clock.

  As I watched the clock, my palms sweated and my stomach knotted. I held my breath as I heard a knock on the door.

  “It’s open,” I called out.

  Instead of Mackenzie, Jenny popped her head through the door. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “They’re heading to the board room,” she said.

  “Who?”

  “Everyone, it seems. Just got an email.”

  I hadn’t checked my messages but gathered a pad and pen. I walked up the one flight and made my way to the boardroom. Some of my colleagues had congregated outside the boardroom. Sally was handing around mugs of coffee from a tray.

  I noticed little glances thrown my way, and the usual whispers followed as I took a mug and thanked Sally.

  “Lauren, may I speak with you?” I heard.

  Mackenzie was standing at the boardroom door.

  “Of course,” I said.
/>
  He stepped to one side and closed the door behind us, blocking out the chatter from outside.

  “I want to announce your appointment today. The merger is going to be a little quicker than we anticipated.”

  “Oh, I…erm…shit.”

  “Is there a problem?”

  “I wanted to ask Gabriella if she’d delay any announcement until…”

  “Until what?”

  “Until my divorce. I don’t want Scott to know anything about it; he’s trying to fleece me as it is. If he loses his job and he knows I’m on a higher pay grade, I’m not sure what he’ll do. I suspect he’ll delay the divorce, hoping to get more money from me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this?”

  “Probably for the same reason you never mentioned your wife was here.”

  “Ex-wife.”

  “Ex-wife. We haven’t spoken about anything personal at all. I’m sorry, it’s okay, you go ahead with your announcement, and I’ll deal with it.”

  I hadn’t wanted to mention his ex-wife, it was petty, but he’d thrown me off balance a little.

  “You have a lawyer, I take it?”

  “Of course I have a lawyer. I’ve just sent her all the paperwork. Listen, I shouldn’t have just said what I did. It’s okay, I’m fine with it all.”

  “Will you stop saying, ‘it’s okay’ and ‘you’re fine.’ It’s not and you’re not. Don’t be fine with it.”

  Don’t be fine with it? What on earth did that mean?

  “Mackenzie, don’t presume to tell me what I am or should be, please. I have a mess to deal with and I will. It won’t affect my work.”

  “I don’t give a shit about work, I worry about you,” he said.

  I glanced over to see Scott looking through the window.

  “They’re getting restless, wondering what we are talking about. Make the announcement. It’s probably best to get it over with now anyway.”

  He sighed as he looked at me. I planted a fake smile on my face.

  “I’m excited about this new opportunity,” I said, hoping to bring our mind-set back to work.

  “I can’t tell what you’re thinking, that annoys me,” he whispered.

  “Back at you with that one,” I snapped.

  He stared at me. “I’m not here to fight with you,” he said.