My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book One]

by Lauren King

“Oh, I am sure that is possible.” Elizabeth says quickly and then smiles at her Aunt.

  At this point, Mrs. Gardiner asks if Elizabeth will help her with the tea and the coffee service. When Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner come back with tea and coffee a quarter of an hour later, Jane and Mr. Bingley look happy talking with one another. All four people have their drinks, and then they talk more about where he may want to find another estate in the country. When his hour is up, he thanks the ladies for their hospitality and for tolerating his visit. Bingley and Jane are left alone in the foyer for their final farewells.

  Jane tells Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner about Mr. Bingley asking for another visit. Jane thinks that Mr. Bingley is still partial to her, and she is also partial towards him. However, she is fearful of the consequences of him and his family finding out about Lydia’s problem. She is in the same position as Elizabeth was with Mr. Darcy.

  “I told him he can call upon me this Friday at ten o’clock, Aunt. Will that be all right?”

  “Yes, that will be fine. What will you do, Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner feels sorry for Jane just as she does for Elizabeth. These two sisters deserve better lives than what they might have to settle for, now.

  “I think I will have to do the same thing as Lizzy, Aunt. What do you both think?”

  “I am truly sorry for the both of you good girls. Lydia has wreaked havoc with her dreadful behavior.” Mrs. Gardiner sighs before going on. “Mr. Bingley is in a different position than Mr. Darcy, Jane. His family status is different; hence, he may be accepting.” Mrs. Gardiner turns to Elizabeth for clarification. “That is not to say that Mr. Darcy is not accepting, Lizzy.”

  “I understand, Aunt.” Elizabeth replies understandingly but sadly as she sighs heavily.

  Mrs. Gardiner continues, “I have to be honest, Mr. Bingley is different; he may be accepting of your situation as long as you are separated from your family and Lydia. Lizzy did not give Mr. Darcy a chance to accept or not accept the situation because she feels the outcome and consequences of him knowing will only be negative. His disapprobation and resentment of their relationship is graver to her than not having him in her future. I am torn. There is no right or wrong answer here. It all depends on what each one of you can endure. I think Mr. Darcy is a good person that will understand if he cares for Lizzy very much. However, this is a dire problem for anyone to accept. One never knows for certain.” Mrs. Gardiner takes a deep breath before continuing.

  “Lizzy was trying to be fair and avoid pain and sorrow for the long term, in addition to sparing Mr. Darcy a bad reputation by being associated with your family. You will have to think very carefully too, Jane. Can you live with the consequences of Mr. Bingley and his family knowing? I do not see Miss Bingley being very understanding or accepting, at all. She would probably mock you for a lifetime. I am sorry, Jane; I am not trying to scare you with Miss Bingley. You should make a decision based upon all the factors that will affect your life. It would be nice if we had to worry only about our husbands.” Mrs. Gardiner sighs heavily. “Well, you two sisters talk it out. I will be with the children for a while.”

  “Thank you, Aunt. I appreciate your advice as always.” Jane says kindheartedly.

  Jane and Elizabeth talk more about this subject but, as expected, Jane is stuck in the same unavoidable position as Elizabeth. Jane is fearful that Mr. Bingley is not strong-willed enough to fight off his sisters for her sake. She does not know if he likes her to that extent. Does she continue with their relationship to see if he does like her enough to stand up for her, or does she just extinguish the possibility of a relationship so that she can avoid pain and shame? It is vital that she thinks about this critically.

  Later on Monday afternoon, Mr. Gardiner comes back from meeting Mr. Clarke. He explains that Mr. Clarke was terrified when Uncle told him what happened at his office.

  “Mr. Clarke vehemently denied that he told the thieves to go there to rob me. He said that the thieves had followed him to his work place a while back when he first started to owe them money. This was to frighten him. They had threatened him that they knew where to find him at all times, so he better pay them. He was going to pay them the entire amount until he got so ill. He did not let his wife know about his gambling debt, thus she could not pay them off. Mr. Clarke did not know if the main man that he dealt with worked by himself or with others. The main man was known to Mr. Clarke as Jimmy Smith; he was always with another man.”

  “I figure that these are the same two men that robbed me. Mr. Clarke apologized profusely, but I did not care. I told Mr. Clarke that I needed to be paid as soon as possible; otherwise, I will report this to the authorities because these thugs have beaten me and attacked my business. They also threatened to give me more trouble. I will not put up with Mr. Clarke any longer. I informed Mr. Clarke that if he sold all of his household possessions, he would make about 150 pounds. He needed to borrow from his family to pay me back the rest because I refused to wait any longer than the end of this week. I reminded Mr. Clarke that it would not be good if he tried to ditch from paying me back. I gave Mr. Clarke until this Saturday to come up with all the money.”

  For the next few days, Elizabeth starts the accounting for the other three years that Mr. Clarke has worked for her Uncle. Mr. Gardiner makes a surprise visit to Mr. Clarke’s residence to ask about the money on Thursday. Mr. Clarke’s house is empty of all furnishings except for two chairs and one table in the dining room. There are no more servants working for them – not even the cook. His wife has also sold most of her dresses and all of her jewelry. They will be borrowing money from both his parents and his in-laws. The parents will be in town by Saturday to give him the money so that he can pay back Mr. Gardiner. Mr. Clarke gives Mr. Gardiner another 180 pounds, and Mr. Gardiner reminds him that the total that he has found for the year is 2,080 pounds – not a shilling less!

  FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5th

  Bingley arrives at the Gardiner residence as jovial as ever. He feels that Miss Bennet is still inclined towards him, thus he will continue to get to know her, and then he will ask to officially court her. Without Mrs. Bennet around, things seem calmer, and Miss Bennet seems more naturally reactive to him. If their relationship advances into an engagement, then he will definitely purchase an estate away from Hertfordshire to minimize interaction with Mrs. Bennet. He wants to find out if Miss Bennet is amenable to living far away from her parents. Her agreeable personality and attitude show that she may be acquiescent to living away from her parents.

  Bingley and Jane are allowed more alone time in the drawing room because every so often Elizabeth and Athena come in and out throughout his visit. He talks about many subjects with Jane, and then he introduces the subject of where she would want to live if she could live anywhere.

  Jane replies, “Anywhere would be fine, but I would like to live near Elizabeth; we are very close. I do not have to be near any of my family members but living near Elizabeth would be ideal.”

  Thank goodness – living near Miss Elizabeth is agreeable with Bingley. Miss Elizabeth is very nice, genteel, understanding, and caring, thus he would not mind, at all.

  At the end of Bingley’s visit, he requests to call upon Miss Bennet on Sunday afternoon. She agrees to two o’clock, and it makes him excited. He has decided to advance his relationship with Miss Bennet; he does not see an impediment as long as he can stay away from Mrs. Bennet as much as possible. Mrs. Bennet was the only real hindrance to his advancing in Hertfordshire – well, there were other reasons, but they were less voluble and blatant. Caroline, Louisa, Gilbert, and Darcy had pointed out how inappropriate and unsuitable Mrs. Bennet and the youngest sister was; Bingley did observe this for himself. He was disappointed when he left Hertfordshire, but, now, he feels he has been given a second chance with Miss Bennet; he is going to take it.

  Bingley spoke with Darcy last week, and he was amazed. He learned that Darcy wanted to court Miss Elizabeth, but she had refused him without a full explanation. Bingley felt bad
for Darcy; he never thought that any lady would turn down Darcy. Well, he is going to give it a try with Miss Bennet and see where it leads. Darcy had explained that Miss Elizabeth was such a good match for him, and she was nothing like her mother; therefore, he overlooked her family’s ill comportment. And since Hertfordshire is far from Derbyshire, he was not worried about the constant influence or associations as Bingley would have to face if he stayed at Netherfield. Bingley told Darcy that he will give up Netherfield at the end of his lease due to that same reason.

  After Mr. Bingley’s visit, Jane tells Elizabeth that she is torn between letting Mr. Bingley know about their family trouble, at this stage. She wants to be sure of his regard for her before she tells him. If he rejects her, then she will not blame him. However, she does want to see if he will be accepting of the problem and try to overcome it. She truly likes Mr. Bingley; therefore, she wants to try to have a future with him, if that is possible. Elizabeth says that Jane should do what she feels is right for her. It is extremely difficult in situations like theirs.

  CHAPTER 7

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  SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6th

  Elizabeth receives a note from Georgiana asking about her health and hoping that they could have tea some time. Elizabeth sends a reply and asks if Georgiana wants to take a stroll in Hyde Park tomorrow morning at eleven o’clock with her and Jane, and then they can get some tea and pastries afterwards. The same afternoon Georgiana replies that she eagerly waits for their time together tomorrow.

  Later, Mr. Gardiner returns from Mr. Clarke’s residence with the rest of the money that Mr. Clarke was repaying for the embezzlement.

  Mr. Gardiner says, “I think he and his family will leave town now. There was not even one chair in their home. I am still having the investigator keep track of his movements in case we find out that there was more money embezzled.”

  “That is smart, Edward,” states Mrs. Gardiner. She is glad that they at least got their money back. Hopefully, Mr. Clarke did not steal more than 2,080 pounds.

  Elizabeth sighs and then says, “I am very glad that you were able to get all your money back, Uncle. What an awful ordeal this has been. I pray that he did not steal anymore money.”

  “Thanks to you, Lizzy. If it was not for your discovery, I would have lost 2,080 pounds! Your Aunt and I appreciate you very much.”

  “You are welcomed, Uncle. I am glad that I could help. I am very relieved about your money, but what about those thieves? Do you think they will be imprisoned for long? Will their friends or associates come looking for you?” Elizabeth questions apprehensively.

  “I do not know if they work with anyone else on these types of gambling and money lending situations. I certainly hope no one else will be looking for me, and that those thieves will be imprisoned for a very long time. I will have to be careful at all times from now on. I hope that they were just simply taking advantage of robbing someone for money; if so, they will not seek me out personally.”

  Everyone is a little more relieved that the money issue is over…for now. They are also still very worried about the robbery; they hope there will be no repercussions with Mr. Gardiner having the two thieves apprehended.

  SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7th

  Elizabeth and Jane arrive at Darcy House to collect Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley for their stroll in Hyde Park. Elizabeth is slightly uneasy about going inside; she does not want to sadden Mr. Darcy, further. She does not want to be a constant reminder of disappointment to him; she is doing the right thing for him. She is disturbed that one day she will be completely out of his life because she doubts that when he gets married, his wife will be happy if they stayed friends. Her heart hurts to think of that loss. Conversely, what will hurt more – him not being in her life at all or him resenting and regretting their relationship? Both consequences are wretched; on top of which, Georgiana may someday be affected by Elizabeth, too, if they remain friends. Elizabeth feels such torment to know that she will have to give up both Georgiana and Richard, too. God, why is this happening to her and her family? She has no way out!

  All four ladies joyously greet each other in the drawing room when Mr. Darcy walks in to greet the ladies. He is polite and gracious. His eyes are discreetly on Elizabeth, and she is still as beautiful as he remembers; perhaps, she looks sadder and quieter. Is this because of their relationship or because of her problem? Richard told Darcy all that Miss Elizabeth had said to him. Darcy is glad that it is truly not due to another suitor. He was touched that Miss Elizabeth had strongly stated that she would never do that to him. She was honestly sorry about their situation, and it was never her intention to hurt him. Darcy must find out the real reason for Miss Elizabeth’s rejection and distress. Maybe he could help her somehow.

  Mr. Brooks, the butler, comes in with Bingley. Bingley is very glad to see Miss Bennet earlier than his planned visit at two o’clock today. Bingley happily greets all the ladies and then asks their destination. Georgiana readily admits that they will stroll in Hyde Park and then go to Petite Pastry for tea and pastries.

  “Where are you and William headed today, Mr. Bingley?” Georgiana asks amiably.

  Bingley affably replies, “We will be going to our club for a while, but we would like to take a stroll in the park and enjoy the warm sun too if we could be of service to protect all you ladies today. That would be much more fun. Do you not think so Darcy?”

  “Yes, I do think so, Bingley.” Darcy responds politely and then discreetly looks to Miss Elizabeth. She seems, pleased, but she is not looking at him, thus he is unsure. Maybe he will have a chance to speak with her and start to persuade her to confide in him so that he could help her.

  “Ladies, would anyone object to these two gentlemen protecting us?” Georgiana asks merrily. Georgiana wants to do all within her power to help William and Elizabeth resolve their problem. She does not think Elizabeth will be upset with her for suggesting this – she hopes; she will risk it. Georgiana is glad that Elizabeth does not look uncomfortable with this idea; perhaps, this will turn out well.

  Both Jane and Elizabeth express that they do not want to force the gentlemen from their original plans.

  “Do not worry, Miss Elizabeth. There was no great plan; I just have to force Darcy out of the gloom of his study that he has sequestered himself in. He cannot shut himself off for weeks like that. He needs some fresh air and sunshine.” Bingley really hopes that he is not offending anyone; he only wants to help Darcy’s situation.

  Elizabeth feels such elation each time she sees Mr. Darcy. Her heart will not let up on convincing her to let Mr. Darcy know about her family situation because he may be accepting of it. Her heart is so hopeful that Elizabeth is almost convinced, but then her logical mind jumps in with all of the reasons as to why she made the decision from the beginning. It would hurt too much if Mr. Darcy ever disrespected her, resented her, or regretted her when he finds out of her dire circumstances which could affect his sister and his family name, too. She could not manage that turmoil. Furthermore, what if he blames her for deceiving him into liking her before informing him of her family’s problem? Oh God…every which way she thinks about it, it is bad. However, seeing his sad, dejected face is also heartbreaking. Now, she has learned from Mr. Bingley that Mr. Darcy has not been outside of his study for all this time; she feels miserable.

  She has to admit that she feels affection for Mr. Darcy. She cannot deny it because her feelings for him do not seem to lessen; she cannot get him out of her mind. She is heartbroken every time she thinks about him; therefore, she tries to trick herself by staying very busy to block her mind from thinking of him. Maybe she should just tell him the truth so he will not be depressed anymore. Surely, he will feel some relief to know the truth and to be spared the humiliation of a continued relationship, of any kind, with her. She just hopes that Mr. Darcy, Georgiana, and Richard will not look down at her for her situation and it will just be a straightforward disconnection of their friendships without any degradation. Ac
tually, that is the best that she can hope from anyone she knows. It would be, especially, poignant if these three friends never think ill of her.

  Everyone seems to be awaiting her response. “Mr. Bingley, please do not let me stop you from caring for your friend. You are the type of friend that all of us wish for. Please, join us and enjoy the sun.” Elizabeth smiles tenderly and then quickly glances at Mr. Darcy. He seems pleased with what she said. She is glad that he feels a little better.

  Their stroll in Hyde Park is relaxing and comforting. Darcy simply wants to be in Miss Elizabeth’s presence for a little while even if they do not talk with each other. Hearing her talk and giggle with the others is filling enough, right now. He wishes it could be more, but he will settle for this today. She was so kindhearted to say what she said to Bingley earlier at his house. It just shows that she is a good person. If she was uncomfortable, she still overlooked it, in order to help him. Darcy was surprise to hear Bingley say what he said. However, he is happy that Bingley took the initiative and was successful.

  The others walk ahead of Darcy and Elizabeth, thus he is left to walk near her, which is fine by him, but he does not want Miss Elizabeth to be ill at ease.

  “Mr. Darcy, please let me say again that I am sorry about all of this.”

  Darcy sadly responds, “Miss Elizabeth, I hope you truly do not mind that Bingley and I came along today. I think Bingley was overly concerned for my situation. I do go out to attend to business. I am not completely sequestered in my study. I am sorry that he misled you in any way, but I am very glad that I have a chance to see you today. However, if my presence is bothering you, then I will take my leave. Please, do not be angry with Bingley; he meant well. I will speak with him so that he does not attempt something like this again. I am sorry for his actions.”

  In retrospect, Darcy can see that Miss Elizabeth may feel deceived and be irritated that he tried to be with her today. This was all Bingley’s idea; Darcy had no knowledge that Bingley was going to say those things, but he will shoulder the blame because Bingley was only trying to be helpful.