by Lauren King
“I think it will be fine, Georgiana. We’ll be glad to have Mr. Darcy with us. I think it will be Mr. Darcy who will regret coming with four ladies and spending hours in a dress shop.” Jane chuckles as does Georgiana.
Elizabeth smiles with joy; she yearns to be near Mr. Darcy. She misses him so very much.
However, as Georgiana giggles, she says, “William has gone with us to the dress shop before, Jane. Do you remember, Elizabeth?”
“Yes, I do remember, Georgiana. Mr. Darcy was very helpful that day.” Elizabeth responds with a lovely smile; she only dares to glance at Mr. Darcy quickly to see his reaction. The relief and happiness on his face is noticeable.
“Yes, he was. Are you ready to go, William?” Georgiana asks cheerfully.
“Yes, I am.” Darcy is glad to have this opportunity to be in Miss Elizabeth’s presence. Once again, this was not his idea, and he did not know that Georgiana would ask him to come with her. He did agree to buy her a new gown, but he just thought that she would be accompanied by Mrs. Annesley, as usual. However, this is the kind of progress that he would like to have continued!
Once more, Darcy sits in the waiting area and is served tea while he contentedly waits for the ladies to do their shopping. He hears the ladies and his sister have much fun talking about the fabrics and lace; colors and embellishments; cuts and designs. He can tell Georgiana is having a lot of fun with Miss Elizabeth and her family. Miss Elizabeth helping Georgiana a great deal. It just solidifies his belief that Miss Elizabeth is a genuine, caring person that will be a true, good sister to Georgiana. She could be a very good…wife. God, only if that could be true.
Darcy has come to care very much for Miss Elizabeth; accordingly, he is distressed by her refusal to be in a courtship with him. However, today he feels a glimpse of hope. He hopes that he is not just imagining Miss Elizabeth’s discreet glances at him. Her easy acceptance for him to join them today is another positive sign. Georgiana told him that she thought Miss Elizabeth was so kind and thoughtful to ask after Georgiana’s health and the health of her family too. Certainly this meant him. Additionally, Miss Elizabeth wrote ‘God bless you and Mr. Darcy’ again to Georgiana. Darcy sincerely hopes that Miss Elizabeth will change her mind or that her circumstances will allow her to reconsider her decision with him, now.
Elizabeth is done first with choosing her fabrics and designs for her two gowns; therefore, she goes to see about the gloves. Once more, she finds herself standing near Mr. Darcy’s sitting area. She sees him looking at her as she walks towards the gloves section; she becomes bashful. She decides to quickly choose two pairs of gloves so she does not disturb him.
Darcy gazes at Miss Elizabeth’s beautiful profile. She is even more appealing to him because of her intelligence, her charming personality, her thoughtfulness, her genuine care of others, her vivaciousness, and her goodness. These attributes simply attract him like no other young lady has ever before. He has not been able to think about her less. In fact, he thinks about her more everyday – every moment he is not occupied with business. He does not want to go to any balls or dinner parties with any of his friends or Richard. Richard and Bingley have tried to get him out of the house for the last three weeks, but he has no desire to be around any young ladies other than Miss Elizabeth. Now, to get a slight sense of possible hope of Miss Elizabeth changing her mind towards him is the best feeling he has experienced all these weeks.
Darcy discreetly keeps his eyes on Miss Elizabeth as she looks at the gloves in her hands. He is going to take a chance and talk to her; he cannot tolerate sitting here only staring at her. He will risk her thinking him too forward; she knows that he cares for her. She knows that he is not a brazen person; he only wants to show her his continued interest.
“Could I be of any help to you again, Miss Elizabeth?” That is just bold enough to show interest but not enough to be considered too forward.
“I...umm…do you like these two pairs of gloves, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asks shyly and softly as she looks at him quickly and then looks back at the gloves intently. She is captivated by him, again. She cannot help but be pulled in by the sound of his voice and his thoughtfulness.
“They are pretty, yes. Maybe if you tried both on at one time then you can compare.” Darcy suggests gently.
Elizabeth does exactly as he suggested. She silently looks at the gloves, but she is actually thinking of Mr. Darcy. How can she not have a future with someone so fitting with her? It is too unfair! She has to rein in her emotions, especially when she is in front of him.
“See, as I said; both pairs are very pretty on you.” Darcy attractively smiles at her.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy. Thank you for your help, again.” Elizabeth says bashfully.
“I would gladly help you with anything, Miss Elizabeth. You only need to let me know. I am here.” Darcy hopes that she will understand his deeper meaning. “I have been here, waiting. I am willing to listen to anything you have to tell me no matter how difficult it may be. I will not abandon my…friend.”
Elizabeth just cannot hold back any longer; Mr. Darcy is still genuinely interested in her. She cannot continue to let him be hurt by her withholding the truth.
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth says softly as she looks down at her hands. She gathers her courage for her next statement because once she has said it, she will have to tell him the entire truth. “I think you will change your mind if you knew the truth, sir.”
“Miss Elizabeth, I am very sorry that you have to endure something so profound that you feel trapped into turning down a future. May I be completely frank with you?”
“Yes, always, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth responds quietly.
“May I know if you are still partial towards me?” That should be forward enough.
“Yes…I am.” Her voice is a whisper as she blushes and gazes at her hands without moving. She is happy to let him know of her inclination because it is the truth, but anxiety and worry engulfs her.
“Then, I am willing to listen to anything you have to say. If I change my mind and abandon a…friend who has been deserving of only goodness, then I do not deserve a…friend such as yourself. I would not be the gentleman that I take pride in being, and I would not be a wise man that I would like to become. May I be so bold as to request to call upon you tomorrow so that you could tell me your concern, Miss Elizabeth?”
“Are you certain, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asks softly while timidly glancing up at him.
“Yes, I am certain.” Darcy answers confidently without any hesitation.
“You may call upon me at two o’clock tomorrow if that is convenient for you, sir.” Elizabeth could not help herself; she just wants to try to have a future with him.
Darcy is in high spirits. Finally, he will learn why Miss Elizabeth has turned him down for a courtship. He will try to help her with her troubles and perhaps that will advance their relationship into a courtship. Not that he expects her to be grateful for his help; he simply wants to help her, no matter what. Now that he knows she is still inclined towards him, then he knows that they would have progressed very far had her troubles not hindered their development.
After their shopping is done, they all go back the Gardiner’s residence and have a fun filled luncheon. Darcy almost forgets that he is not in a courtship with Miss Elizabeth. He figures that this is how delighted he will be when they are in a courtship. They will have luncheons at each other’s home. He will escort Miss Elizabeth to go shopping, dinner parties, and balls. Any outings that she will attend, he will accompany her. He is eager to officially court her.
At the end of their visit as they are saying their farewells, Darcy reminds Miss Elizabeth of his call at two o’clock tomorrow afternoon. Elizabeth smiles enchantingly and then says that she looks forward to it. Darcy is very happy with today’s surprising positive outcome. He hopes that tomorrow will be even better.
After their guests leave, Elizabeth tells Jane that she plans to tell Mr. Darcy the truth
of their circumstance tomorrow. She cannot stand to hurt him any longer; she cares too much for him. She will take the risk of severing all ties with him. At least he will no longer be hurt and be in the dark. She has no true great happiness without him anyways, thus losing him now as compared to next week or the next few months is all the same; actually, it is worse as time goes on. She prays that he will not despise her and want to sever ties with her.
Elizabeth tells Jane that she will help her entire family as much as she can, but she will not expose her future family (if she has one) to Lydia’s ways. She feels bad for thinking so hardheartedly, but she cannot condone Lydia’s ill behavior and attitude any longer. Jane says that she understands Elizabeth’s thinking; she, basically, feels the same way. She just hopes that Lydia will change now that she will be responsible for a pregnancy. Maybe she will become a better person because of all of this.
“I also wish for that, but I am doubtful.” Elizabeth says frankly.
“I am glad you have made a firm decision about Mr. Darcy. I will also tell Mr. Bingley if he asks for a courtship with me.” Jane also cares for Mr. Bingley very much, and she cannot deceive him.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14th
Sunday could not come soon enough for Darcy. Yesterday, he anxiously wished for the evening to pass as quickly as possible. He just wanted to see Miss Elizabeth again and find out what he can do to help her so they could proceed into a courtship. He will do his best to assist Miss Elizabeth in anything within his power.
At five minutes before two o’clock, Darcy knocks on the door of the Gardiner’s residence. He is shown into the drawing room and is greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, and Miss Elizabeth. Everyone expresses their pleasantries, and then they start to talk about the different coffees. After a few minutes, Bingley is shown into the drawing room and Darcy is pleasantly surprised to see him. Everyone gaily greets each other; afterwards, tea and coffee are brought out. They enjoy their drinks and light conversations until the children run into the sitting room joyously wanting their parents’ attention, thus Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner take them out to the garden to play.
“Fancy meeting you here, Darcy.” Bingley chuckles freely and so does Darcy. However, Darcy is eager to speak to Miss Elizabeth and hear what she has to say; hence, he does not start any conversations with Bingley.
Bingley is very glad for Darcy. It seems that Miss Elizabeth is willing to talk to him again. Bingley hopes that all goes well for him and for Darcy; the four of them could end up being family. That would be a wonderful thing.
“Mr. Bingley, I have my handkerchiefs that I am embroidering over here. There is more light over where the windows are. We could sit there if you like.” Jane wants to give her sister and Mr. Darcy as much privacy as possible. She dearly wishes that things will turn out well for them.
Jane can tell that Elizabeth is in love with Mr. Darcy already, but she is avoiding the admission of it to protect herself from the pain should Mr. Darcy decide to sever all ties with her. Jane understands all too well because she is in a similar position. What an awful misfortune for their family.
“Certainly, Miss Bennet. What are you embroidering them with, flowers?” Bingley eagerly follows Miss Bennet; he wants to speak privately with her too.
“Yes, I am, sir.” Jane answers amiably.
Jane and Mr. Bingley look at her handkerchiefs and discuss about how many she is doing. He listens to her kind and calm voice, and he knows that he wants to hear it more often – ideally, everyday. Today, he will ask her to be in a courtship with him.
In the meanwhile, Elizabeth brings forth all her courage to deal with her problem at hand. She must tell Mr. Darcy now. They are sitting at the far end of Jane and Mr. Bingley, thus she hopes that Mr. Bingley cannot hear their conversation. This is the time; there is no more avoiding it. It is in God’s hands, now.
Composedly and softly Elizabeth begins. “Mr. Darcy, please let me say that I, very much, enjoyed Georgiana’s and…your company yesterday. I value my friendship with Georgiana, Richard, and…you.” She takes a deep breath before continuing.
“Thank you; I also value our friendship greatly.” Darcy is eager to find out the truth; he is a ball of anticipation.
Elizabeth displays a small smile before continuing. “I hope what I tell you next will not cost me three great friends, but I also understand the ways of society. I understand that what I will relay to you may affect our…friendship. Even though I want to keep our friendship, I do not think it is fair or honorable if I do not tell you the truth. I thought about it so much and it always comes back to my misfortune and the effect it has on my entire family along with anyone associated with us. I would never want for you, Georgiana, or Richard to be adversely affected because of me. You have every right to know with whom you associate. I only ask that you give me your word as a gentleman to keep this information for yourself only. I do not think anyone not connected to me has the right to know of my family’s affairs. I understand that you are Georgiana’s guardian; therefore, I will understand if you have to tell her. I trust your judgement.”
“Certainly, Miss Elizabeth. You have my word as a gentleman.” Darcy is worried at the gravity of what Miss Elizabeth has said. Good gracious, what could this be about?
Elizabeth takes a deep breath and breathes out while closing her eyes for a split second before revealing her family’s shame. “My entire family is….compromised because of what has happened to my youngest sister, Lydia.”
Elizabeth finds it so hard to breathe because the shame encompassing her as she speaks cannot be shaken off. She can only imagine Mr. Darcy’s horror to have to listen to this directly from her. The embarrassment, the shame, the humiliation, and the distress are choking her alive, but she must finish this and be done with it. If God wants her to be with Mr. Darcy, then they will be together. Only God can help her now.
“Lydia is….not married but she is….” She swallows dryly; the shame is suffocating her. She simply wants to disappear to a place where no one will ever know about Lydia’s mistakes. “…she is…” She takes another deep breath; her heart is beating wildly but not in a good way. “…with child.”
Elizabeth covers her face with both of her hands because she does not think she can tolerate Mr. Darcy’s censure and condemnation. How could she have thought she could tolerate the anguish? She is mortified, and she can die this instant in order to hide from the indignity and the degradation. However….it is done. She has told the truth. It is up to Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth’s eyes become teary because of pure shame and sadness; nevertheless, she has to remain calm. She has to be able to tolerate Mr. Darcy’s next words or reactions, and then she will be done. Breathe calmly.
Darcy is stunned and is completely taken aback. Fortunately, with many years of practice, his face looks calm outwardly. He has no words at this moment. He has never had to deal with anything so scandalous. The only thing he can think of is that he is relieved that Miss Elizabeth is not the person with this problem. He thanks God for that – at least. One of the first ideas to come to his mind is that they can just stay far away from Miss Elizabeth’s youngest sister (or maybe the rest of her family too). Then, it will be tolerable. Miss Bennet seems to be the only other person with sense and intelligence similar to Miss Elizabeth with whom they can associate; Darcy would not mind that.
His mind races with thoughts that bombard all at once. Darcy wonders if the Bennet family has tried to contain this information from being public knowledge. Did Mr. Bennet do anything in regards to finding the blackguard who is involved with Miss Lydia and try to make them marry? Does all of Meryton or the surrounding areas know about her condition, already?
Darcy can clearly see that Miss Elizabeth is filled with humiliation and shame. Poor Miss Elizabeth; she has been carrying this weight on her shoulders, and she has taken it upon herself to deny herself a future with him. This is why she said that she was doing it for his own good. She did not want to ruin his reputation. She turned down all
his wealth, prestige, and protection because she did not want to tie him to her family’s dishonorable circumstances. She could have deceived him until it was too late for him to back out of their relationship. Yet, she did not. Darcy knew she was an honorable, good person. She also knew that this could affect Georgiana’s reputation; therefore, she said she trusts him to do the right thing for Georgiana.
Miss Elizabeth is selfless, upright, virtuous, and worthy. Darcy knows no other young lady comparable to her. Positively, the young ladies of the Ton would never be this selfless enough to give up Pemberley just to spare his reputation. They would hang onto him even more securely so that his family name can eclipse their family’s shame.
Decidedly, he still cares for Miss Elizabeth, and he would like a courtship with her so that they can progress into matrimony. He remains inclined towards her because, now, he truly knows what a good and decent person she is. She was willing to sacrifice her future and happiness to save him from the ignominy and the indignity of this dreadful situation. Such honor should be valued forever – which he plans to do.
Nonetheless, when Darcy thinks about this logically and sensibly, then he sees that a continued association with Miss Elizabeth may affect Georgiana’s reputation and future. He can tolerate his reputation being involved, but he has to think of Georgiana. If his Uncle Henry and Aunt Helen – Richard’s parents – find out, then they will be displeased and disappointed. There is also his Aunt Catherine – his Mother’s older sister. She will be in a complete uproar, and without a doubt, she will not accept these circumstances to taint any of her family members. On top of which, Aunt Catherine still thinks that he will marry her daughter – his cousin, Anne.
Darcy can tolerate dealing with his extended family members, but his concern for Georgiana is first and foremost. He has to think about this. He genuinely cares for Miss Elizabeth very much, but this problem transcends the both of them. He feels awful to think that he would not see Miss Elizabeth again, but what can he do? Minimally, if Miss Lydia marries the blackguard, then the situation will not be as shameful. He wants to talk to Miss Elizabeth about that. His mind spins frenziedly; he has to find a way to resolve this so that Miss Elizabeth will not be fully burdened by this and their relationship can progress.