My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book One]

by Lauren King

  “I do not want to take your time away from your family and friends, Mr. Morgan. Most likely, I will be back in town no later than two weeks; maybe if you are not busy at that time with others, then you can visit; that is if you want to visit. You are not obligated, Mr. Morgan. I do not want you to feel compelled to visit me, for any reason. I will understand that sometimes things change and do not work out.” Jane says pensively.

  “Miss Bennet, I do wish to call upon you just as I have been. My court assignments do not begin until another couple of weeks.” Morgan responds reassuringly.

  “Mr. Morgan, if you are busy with other things, then please do not bother yourself with visiting me. I’m sure you have other visits that you must pay; I’m not the only person.” Jane tries to give him reasons to take more time away so he can think about their situation.

  “Yes, I do have some visits to pay with my Mother. Several of my friends have visited me, so I will pay them back a visit too.” Morgan offers candidly.

  “That will keep you busy, then. Why do we not just accept that you will be busy with others for the next two weeks and see how things go, all right Mr. Morgan? You are not obligated to visit me. I feel you should do what is right and what is good for you. I will never stand in your way and make it difficult for you.” Jane hopes that he will take this hint and this time apart to just discontinue their courtship.

  “Thank you for understanding my schedule, Miss Bennet, but I can always make time to visit with you. I will not be busy every day making calls.” Morgan responds nicely.

  “Mr. Morgan, you need not make time for me. I think you should take this time to rethink things. My reputation can change for the worse; therefore, I think you should seriously consider that another young lady that has no problems in public with you could be better for your future.” Jane suggests sincerely. Is this not a big enough hint for him to go with the other young lady? Jane is being very understanding, is she not?

  Now, Morgan is confused by the turn of their conversation and Miss Bennet’s demeanor towards him. Today she is polite but not happy and tender towards him like usual. She thinks that he should consider another young lady because her reputation may worsen? He already knows and accepts her family’s problem; he is willing to stand by her. He told her this already. Perhaps, she is just worried about her youngest sister’s marriage situation.

  At this moment, Elizabeth walks into the drawing room and politely greets Mr. Morgan; hence, he is interrupted from responding to Miss Bennet’s comments. Elizabeth is unhappy and disappointed with Mr. Morgan because of what she has seen. She does not want Jane to get hurt further. The last few days have been stressful and frustrating in regards to Lydia’s problem, thus for Mr. Morgan to continue to be deceptive is just inflaming Jane’s life even worse. It is not gentlemanly of him to carry on with this. Elizabeth has been hoping that there is some logical explanation to what she has seen with Mr. Morgan and that young lady, but Mr. Morgan has only been selectively forthcoming with Jane about his activities while he is not visiting with Jane. Well, she really prays that Jane will find happiness very soon – if not with Mr. Morgan then with another true gentleman.

  Elizabeth goes to her corner window to try to read a little while she awaits William’s return. She is very glad that William will be able to escort her and Jane back to Longbourn; she would be even happier if Richard could use his influence to send this sergeant to a faraway regiment so he cannot easily dishonor her family after he marries Lydia. Elizabeth is anxious to get back home to do her best to help her family problem.

  When she inconspicuously looks over at Jane, Jane seems to be serene with her conversation towards Mr. Morgan. Elizabeth does not know what Jane has decided in regards to asking Mr. Morgan about his public appearances with that young lady. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Elizabeth is very thankful for being blessed with William.

  “Miss Bennet, who will be escorting you and Miss Elizabeth?”

  “Mr. Darcy will and possibly Colonel Fitzwilliam too – along with our Uncle’s maid and male servant.”

  “When will you leave?” Morgan is very curious as to why Colonel Fitzwilliam will be coming on this trip; perhaps, he knows the Bennets well, and he will be attending the wedding, too.

  “Tomorrow morning at seven o’clock, sir.” Jane continues to be polite; she does not feel the closeness and the tenderness with Mr. Morgan any longer. Her heart and mind feel strained and deceived.

  “May I come by tomorrow to send you off, Miss Bennet?”

  “That is an early hour, sir. There is no need to bother yourself.” Jane says gently and honestly. Is Mr. Morgan taking these extra measures to assure that she stays with their courtship until he makes a certain decision? She does not want to be suspicious like this of anyone, much less her suitor, but it is impossible not to jump to these conclusions. She detests her current position; who would not?

  “The early hour does not bother me, Miss Bennet.” Morgan responds frankly.

  “As you wish, then, sir.” She wants to see what will happen; he sounds genuine. Is he?

  There is silence between them for a few seconds, and then Morgan decides to ask candidly about Miss Bennet’s comment. “Miss Bennet, why did you say that I should consider another young lady? I already know about your family troubles and its potential problem towards your reputation.”

  “I just want you to think about it all very carefully.” Jane replies straightforwardly.

  “Yes, I have thought about it.” Morgan affirms seriously.

  Jane does not know what more to say to Mr. Morgan at this point because she feels their relationship has changed for the worse. She does not feel as comfortable with Mr. Morgan as before. She is saddened and disappointed by this outcome of their courtship. To know that Mr. Morgan is considering another young lady all the while courting Jane is hurtful.

  “So you have had friends from out of town visiting, Mr. Morgan?” Jane attempts to coax some information about his visitors; perhaps the young lady is simply a great, platonic friend of his family. That would explain his kissing her hand; maybe they are like family to each other and nothing more. She really hopes that he will say something about a female relative or friend that could account for the young lady that she had seen him with at the park.

  “Yes, several friends from Oxford and a couple from my boyhood days.” Morgan replies amiably. “One of whom is having personal problems, but I am not at liberty to say more. I hope you do not mind, Miss Bennet.”

  “Not at all, sir; I understand.” Jane replies graciously; she would not want him to break anybody’s confidence that has been entrusted to him.

  Mr. Morgan tells Jane about a friend of his that will be getting married in March. He tells her about the Italian statues he saw at the London Museum when he escorted his Mother and her friends. He also gleefully tells her that he had to walk the entire length of Bond Street to escort his Mother to the shops that she wanted to order from. He says that he is amazed at what great walkers ladies are and then he laughs. Jane gently chuckles at his comment.

  “I am sure you can walk around the entire length of Hyde Park or St. James’ Park, sir.” Jane is surprised at her own polite, hidden sarcasm.

  “Yes, I suppose I can, especially if I am in the company of a lovely young lady.” Morgan gazes directly at Jane and smiles handsomely.

  Jane interprets Mr. Morgan’s comment differently. “I see.” She says politely. She definitely knows that he can; she has seen him do this with another young lady. He is very bold to state it so forthrightly. Well, she did want him to speak the truth. She is actually hurt from his comment; it feels horrible to hear it.

  Jane does not think she can take it if Mr. Morgan out rightly tells her that he prefers the other young lady and wants to end their courtship. However, she must bear it; she cannot embarrass herself. She must be brave. To her surprise, Mr. Morgan does not speak any further about his friends. Instead, he asks if he can visit her the day that she arrives back in Lond
on. He asks if she could have William send him a note.

  “I do not know exactly when we all will be back but if you call upon my Uncle’s family then you will get a better idea.”

  “Yes, I will do that, then,” responds Morgan.

  Morgan senses a difference in Miss Bennet’s feelings and demeanor towards him, but he does not know what is causing it. Is Miss Bennet changing her mind about their courtship? She does not sound as open and as happy as she was last week. What has happened? Maybe it has something to do with her family problem again. He does not want to broach on a sensitive subject that could embarrass her and make her think that he is embarrassed or ashamed of their connection. He will assess everything and reassure her of his desire to be in their courtship, but if she continues to show less inclination towards him, then he will have no choice except to retreat from their courtship so no one will be discomfited.

  At this point, Mrs. Gardiner comes into the drawing room; she and Mr. Morgan greet each other amiably. He has been visiting for an hour and a half already, so she wants to see if Jane is in need of anything.

  “Do you or Lizzy need any help with your packing, Jane?” Mrs. Gardiner asks considerately.

  “No, thank you, Aunt; I am fine. I am not certain if Lizzy will need any assistance or not.”

  “Let me go ask her.” Mrs. Gardiner says agreeably and then goes to talk to Lizzy.

  Jane and Mr. Morgan talk for another quarter of an hour before he leaves. Jane bids Mr. Morgan a farewell in the foyer. He reminds her that he will come to visit her before she leaves tomorrow morning. Jane smiles and wishes him a good day. He holds her hand, bends over it before giving her a last look and then he leaves. Jane does not forget about his kiss to the other young lady’s hand; his actions proves that he is closer to that other young lady than to Jane. Jane is disappointed and dissatisfied with today’s visit because she thought that there would be some resolution with Mr. Morgan. The anxiety of not knowing is making her feel worse.

  Darcy comes back to the Gardiner’s residence two and a half hours later to tell Elizabeth that Richard will be able to come with them tomorrow morning. They will set out at seven o’clock. Elizabeth tells William that Mr. Morgan left about half an hour ago after visiting for almost two hours.

  “He asked to come by tomorrow morning to bid Jane farewell. She finally agreed. Jane said that he acted normally with her. She tried to ask about a variety of things, events, and people that were occupying his time to see if he would bring up any female relatives or friends but he didn’t. Jane is really saddened and disappointed about their situation.” Elizabeth shares with William.

  Elizabeth is also very disappointed in Mr. Morgan. She can just imagine the unease and angst that Jane is experiencing now while having to wait longer to resolve her situation with Mr. Morgan. Elizabeth is much more impatient. If this was her she would probably have spoken plainly and openly with William about their situation. She recognizes that it is always easier said than done. She is, unequivocally, glad that she is not in Jane’s position.

  “Undoubtedly, she is; I completely understand for her. If it was not for us having to leave tomorrow, I would have a frank talk with Morgan. Once we come back from Longbourn, I will have a talk with him if this situation with him persists. I will insist upon his full disclosure. If he acts this way or continues to carry on in this manner, he offends me as a gentleman and as a friend.” Darcy states seriously.

  CHAPTER 16

  ****************

  SATURDAY, JANUARY 10th

  “Lizzy, do you or Jane have anymore trunks?” Darcy asks patiently.

  “No, darling. We only brought one trunk, each. Are you sure we should not leave your smaller carriage at home for Georgie?” Elizabeth asks considerately.

  “Georgie is staying with my Uncle and Aunt while we are away, so she can use their carriages as she needs it. There will be more room for every one if we bring both carriages for this trip.” Darcy replies happily because he is very pleased that Elizabeth is honestly kind and sympathetic; she always thinks of others as well.

  “Well…if you are certain, darling.” Quietly, Elizabeth asks William, “I wonder where Mr. Morgan is. Is it seven o’clock yet?”

  “Yes, it is seven o’clock.” Darcy looks at his pocket watch as he looks up and down the street for any signs of Morgan.

  By a quarter after seven o’clock, Jane is embarrassed that Mr. Morgan has yet to show up as he said he would. “William, we should just leave now. I do not want to delay our trip and cause us to be on the road longer than necessary. The winter roads are not safe, right?” Jane asks understandingly.

  “We can wait a little longer, Jane.” Darcy responds sympathetically.

  Darcy feels bad for Jane; he knows that Jane truly likes Morgan. He just cannot believe that Morgan would do this to Jane, especially when Morgan knows that Jane will be Darcy’s sister-in-law, soon – not to say that he could do this if Jane will not be related to Darcy. There has to be an explanation to Morgan’s behavior. Admittedly, he is not absolutely certain that Morgan would not simultaneously entertain another young lady while courting Jane.

  Darcy purposely drags out the waiting time until a quarter to eight o’clock and Morgan still does not show up. When Jane sees the time, she insists that they be on their way. She is embarrassed that Mr. Morgan could be this insensitive. Perhaps, he simply forgot about seeing her off this early. She does not know what to think or do.

  This trip back to Longbourn is causing Darcy, Elizabeth, and Jane more apprehension for the reason that they will have to deal with Lydia and Mrs. Bennet this time. Elizabeth does not want William to be exposed to either of them if she can help it, but it seems that she cannot avoid William meeting these two members of her family. She just hopes that they’ll talk a little, attend the wedding, and be done with it so they can go back to London. Elizabeth knows that this is wishful thinking, though. She does not want to sound ungrateful or unfriendly towards her Mother and Lydia, but she knows, all too well, how they conduct themselves; they have been like that all these years, and although she hopes that they will change, it is unlikely that they will.

  Looking out the window as the Darcy carriage approaches Longbourn, Elizabeth sees her Mother, Mary, and Kitty stand at the opened front door waiting for them; she braces herself for the onslaught of questions and effusions from her Mother. Elizabeth has come to see things differently now that she has had to handle such a disgraceful problem. She only wants a conclusion to this ordeal so she can move on with her life with William.

  Elizabeth does not want her Mother involved too much into her wedding because she will try to usurp every aspect of the wedding and make it into a spectacle, especially when she remembers William’s wealth. When her Mother finds out that William’s Uncle is the Earl of Matlock and Richard is his son, then she will have flutterings and act silly again in front of the gentlemen. Hopefully, her Mother will take more care with her talk and her conduct as a result of Lydia’s catastrophe. As for Lydia, Elizabeth can only hope that she will mind herself and get married without causing any more trouble for their family. Elizabeth has the feeling that it will not be that smooth. Sergeant Denny is the key to all of this; Elizabeth prays that he will not force her Father’s hand about the increase in funds before agreeing to marry Lydia. Elizabeth is tremendously drained and weary of this entire burden.

  “Ahhh! Jane! Lizzy! You have come home! You girls look very well.” Mrs. Bennet excitedly cries out as she hugs Jane but only lightly pats Elizabeth’s arm. With both daughters next to her, Mrs. Bennet quietly but spiritedly says, “Ah Lizzy, you lucky, smart girl; you are engaged already. Your dress looks expensive, Lizzy. Jane you look pretty as you always do.”

  “Mama, I hope you have been well.” Jane states serenely.

  Concurrently, Elizabeth says nicely, “Hello, Mama.”

  Mary and Kitty are excited to see their two elder sisters again. They both approach Jane and Elizabeth and everyone hugs each othe
r warmly. They also greet Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam, shyly and amiably.

  Mary and Kitty see what true gentlemen these two men are and they have been in awe of them ever since they all met last time. They saw how caring, responsible, upstanding, and loving Mr. Darcy was towards Elizabeth. Mr. Darcy is not unduly arrogant, at all. Colonel Fitzwilliam is just as good and honorable as Mr. Darcy. They hope that they will be able to find a husband like these two gentlemen.

  Kitty feels the shame of having followed Lydia’s lead. Providentially, she did not allow any of Sergeant Denny’s friends to sway her into anything improper. Now, she sees that Lydia’s influence was not good. She knows that Lydia did not deliberately convince her to do anything horrible, but acting the way Lydia acted with men is not acceptable by decent people. Lydia is too spirited, flirty, unthinking, and careless for her own good and many people will look down on her if she continues to act as she does. Kitty has learned her lesson from Lydia’s mistake. It is frightening to think that she could have ended up in the same situation as Lydia’s and brought shame to herself and her family. Elizabeth has told her in the past that just because she does not act wild like Lydia does not mean others will find her boring or uninteresting. She has to believe in herself and act appropriately. How she acts will show people who she is as a person. Kitty will heed Elizabeth’s advice. She was young and foolish to follow Lydia; she will not do that anymore.

  While her daughters greet her, Mrs. Bennet looks at the gentlemen standing behind them. Mrs. Bennet is very happy to see that Elizabeth is truly betrothed to Mr. Darcy who has ten thousand a year! Mrs. Bennet does not recognize the other gentleman; maybe this is Jane’s suitor. He is in a well decorated military uniform; his rank must be high. Goodness, he is handsome, too.