Even if I were to stay with him, I can never bear him a child.
22
LEO
The scouts have found where the Void Seekers took Rhea. It is not easy to hide an airship in these parts, and for whatever reason, they have not left with their prize.
The war counsel is loud with competing voices. Little is clear about the situation.
Drake slams his hand on the table quieting the room. “Stop bickering. I need one question answered before we consider an attack. Why are the Void Seekers here? In our territory? They've never ventured this far.”
Bakal speaks up. He has always been the clan's wisest warriors. He need not seek permission to speak. “It is clear from Leo's encounter that they have made an alliance with one of the skinner tribes. Possibly more. The only reason for them to seek allies here is to gain a foothold for an attack against us.”
Drake shakes his head in disbelief. “They dare not attack us. We have defeated them at every encounter. Even with their airship, they cannot get past Haven's defenses.”
Bakal looks at me silently. I know he wishes for me to speak up. But I cannot. It is not my place to rule. I gave up my claim long ago. Honor demands that I accept Drake's rule. He watches us as the other warriors bicker among themselves. Bakal takes his seat and does not challenge Drake's confidence in Haven's defenses. But I know he has grave doubts.
Our defenses are strong. That much is true. The main guns on the Great Arch could take out an airship with a few solid shots. But there are many ways to launch an assault. Our population is few. Much of our clan splintered after I gave up my rule. I fear my brother still resents me for the loss and is allowing it to cloud his judgment.
He slams his first on the table once more to silence the room. “I have made my decision. We will leave the bulk of our warriors to defend Haven. We will take a raiding party to find your mate's companion. The raiding party will be led by myself and Bakal. Leo, you may come if you wish. Bakal, choose six of your best men save Kildane. I want him in Haven to lead the defenses should we come under attack.”
He leans back in his chair and stares down his war counsel. “Does anyone wish to challenge my decision?”
He is answered by silence.
“Good. We leave at sun up. I want to catch the skinners at their weakest.”
I return to my apartment. Astrid stands up from the couch when I enter, smiling at me. Her smile warms my heart. I forget about my quarrel with my brother. I have my fated mate by my side. Soon she will carry our child within her. Nothing else matters.
She embraces me and kisses my lips. I feel a new strength in her arms. She has taken well to the changes brought upon her by the Apotheosis Chamber. She will give birth to a strong child.
“What happened? You told me your scouts found Rhea before you went to the war counsel.”
“Yes, we found where we think they are keeping her. But there was no sign of her there. Just the airship she was taken in.”
She claps her hands together and bounces on her heels. “Great! I'm sure they are keeping her on the ship. Where else would they take her?”
“This question weighs heavily on me. I fear it is another ambush.”
“Well, this time we won't be alone. You told me your clan is strong. Each warrior nearly as strong as you. I saw what you did, when you shifted. How could they possibly defeat an army of warriors like you?”
“We are not all gifted with a second form. Only the strongest of us gain a second form from the Apotheosis Chamber.” I take a seat on the couch and pat my hand on the cushion next to me. Astrid plops down beside me and squeezes herself against me.
“Can I convince you to change your mind?”
She pulls herself back away from me and stares at me defiantly. “I told you I am coming. Drake offered me to come along with the war party. And I intend to take him up on the offer.”
I sigh in frustration. I am sure Drake did that to taunt me. He has not taken well to my return. “I understand that. And it is your choice whether to come, or not. I simply ask that you stay behind. I need my head clear for the battle. I do not want you in harm's way.”
She leans back into me and puts her small hand on my thigh. “Leo, I know you don't want me to get hurt again. And I promise, I am going to stay out of the way of the battle. I've seen enough to know I don't want to get into the middle of a fight between you and the skinners. And yes, I remember what you told me about the Apotheosis Chamber. It only works once. I can't keep getting gut-shot and expect to be healed in that thing.”
“ I just have to be there when you find Rhea. She doesn't know any of you. She's been held captive by these psychos for too long. She'll need a familiar face to calm her down and make sure she's okay.” She squeezes my thigh. “Okay? That's all. I'll stay back and when you kill them all, I'll join you and help find Rhea.”
I nod reluctantly. “Very well. By Krio, just promise me; this time you will not put yourself in any danger.”
She stands up and kisses me on my forehead. “I promise. I swear to Peter.”
23
ASTRID
I could barely sleep the night before the raid. It doesn't help that I'm used to sleeping during the day by now. But I don't feel tired. Ever since my trip in the Apotheosis Chamber, I feel so full of energy. I feel like bouncing with every step. I've been feeling hornier too. It was really hard not to fuck Leo, but I feel bad about lying to him.
Especially now that he thinks he's gotten me pregnant. How do I tell him his fated mate can't bear his child? It's too complicated to think about now. I'll worry about it after we save Rhea. She'll probably know exactly how to handle it. She's probably read a story just like this before.
I'm wearing the warrior's leathers Leo gifted me the day before. I look at myself in the mirror appreciating the look. Tight, black leather pants. Soft brown boots tied above my knees. Matching black leather vest. I've got good old Ambassador on my hip, it's extra clip, missing three bullets tucked into my vest. I decided to keep my white handkerchief to wrap around my face and my gray wide-brimmed hat. I really think it pulls the whole look together.
I pull my gun and strike a bad-ass pose in the mirror. Leo picks that exact moment to walk in on me. I blush furiously.
“You are a sight to behold.” He smiles at me proudly. “You are the very picture of a battle Queen.”
I smile back at him and shift my pose, pretending I'm taking a shot. “How do I look?”
He laughs. “You look perfect. Just be careful with that pose in front of the younger warriors. They will not be able to stand their ground against you. You do not want to shame them in front of their new battle brothers.”
I laugh. “I think that was your first joke. I didn't think you had it in you. You really are an alien full of surprises.”
His smile fades, replaced with a stern look as he holds me by my shoulders. I know now that when he does this, he really wants to be serious. I put my gun away. “I will not try to dissuade you from coming again. I respect your wishes.” He kisses me gently on the forehead. “There is nothing on Kartak, or the whole universe that I care for more deeply than I care for you. Next to you, nothing has meaning in my life.”
I feel my eyes welling up with tears. Maybe I can convince him to come with us when we leave Kartak. Maybe he'd be able to forgive me for being unable to bear his child.
“That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me Leo.” I lean up and kiss him, letting my lips linger on his. “Let's go before they leave without us.”
I leave the apartment ahead of Leo. He waits for a moment behind me, as if expecting me to say more. I can tell he wanted to hear more than that from me. But I've been cruel enough to him already. I can't lie to him any more than I already have.
But am I lying to him, or myself?
The war party is assembled. Leo, his brother Drake, Bakal and six other warriors. Five men and one women. The party is a sight to behold. I can't imagine how fearsome they will be in battl
e. And there's me too of course.
They have prepared jetbikes for each of us. This time, I get to ride on my own. I practiced the day before, and it's really no different from the hoverbike's I've used before. They are just a lot faster and bit less maneuverable.
Drake is going over the final plans. Our angles of approach. Who will attack from what position. I know my role clearly. Stay behind and out of sight. Don't do anything stupid to get Leo hurt. He'll get me once the site is pacified and I can help them search for Rhea. They know not to approach her without me there. She's probably incredibly scared, and it won't help her any to suddenly be faced with a war party of the Tulani Clan.
I walk by Leo's side as we prepare to get underway. I wrap my arm around his waist, and lean my head into his chest. I've been feeling guilty about not telling him the truth. Specially with all that he has done for me. But there's nothing to be done about it. Even if I were to stay behind with him, I could not give him the child he dreams about.
It may be cowardly, but I can't even imagine how I would tell him. I need to speak with Rhea. She will know what to do.
Leo lifts up my chin with his fingers and plants a gentle kiss on my mouth. I smile up at him. “Thank you again for everything you've done for me.”
He smiles back. “My life is my mate's. There is nothing I would not do for you.”
I bury my face in his chest, to hide the tears welling up in my eyes. Please forgive me Leo.
The site of the airship is two hours’ travel. The morning is the coolest morning I've experience on Kartak. I hope that bodes well for us. The wind is quiet and there is hardly any sand in the air. I see the circular rock formation Drake described on the horizon. The airship is sheltered inside, out of view.
Drake slows down to a stop once we are within ten klicks of the formation. The rest of the war party stops, and he goes over the attack plan.
Beldon will go ahead and plant the explosive charges on the rock formation. He will retreat and rejoin the war party. Drake, Leo and Bakal will attack head on, blowing the charges to clear a path through the rock formation. The other warriors, split into groups of three, will come around the flanks.
Given the size of the ship and where it rests, they don't think there could be more than forty men. They should be easily killed by 9 of the Tulani. Three of them gifted with a second form.
Once the plan is confirmed, we ride off, letting Korak get ahead of us. We reach small rock formation. And take our positions there, as Beldon runs ahead to plant the explosives.
Once he returns, the attack will be under way. I'm to wait here, for words that it is safe for me to approach. I have so much pent up energy in me. I don't know how I'm going to manage to wait that long.
I approach Leo as he is checking his weapons. I wrap my arms around his chest and squeeze him as hard as I can. I hear him grunt, surprised at my new found strength.
He tugs my hat back behind my head and kisses me on my forehead. “You really have gotten stronger. That is good. You will need your strength to handle a Tulani child.”
I look up at him and smile sadly. I'm having a hard time keeping the emotion off my face. “You be careful, okay? Come back to me in one piece.”
Leo gives me a quizzical look, but he doesn't question me. I think he knows there's something going on with me, but he's giving me the space to bring it up on my own.
“I will my love. You are the piece that completes my soul. I will always return to you.”
Drake tells the warriors to ready themselves as Korak returns. I squeeze Leo one last time, kiss him on the lips and watch him leave.
I sit with my back against the rock, hidden in its shadow. My imagination is running wild trying to imagine how the battle will go.
Without warning, I hear the sound of an explosion tearing through the rocky shelter. I feel the ground I rest on shake, and a few pebbles knocked loose bounce off the brim of my hat. The battle has started.
I stand up, pacing furiously. I need to know what's happening. Is Leo safe? Could the Tulani be defeated? Is it an ambush like Leo feared?
I try to clear my mind and just wait, like Leo asked me to. But it is impossible. My mind keeps returning to him. Imagining him, in his lion form, tearing his enemies to pieces. Getting shot. Getting hurt. All because I asked him to save my friend.
Waiting, trying to keep my thoughts from turning to the worse, I realize what I am most worried about. Losing Leo.
I hear another explosion in the distance and I get a terrible feeling in my gut. It a sinking feeling that Leo is in danger. I start to climb the rock I sheltered against until I reach the top. I could have never managed this climb a few days past. But now, I manage it effortlessly.
I don't feel any reason to celebrate though. In the distance, I hear the faint sounds of battle. But even from this vantage point, with my goggles magnifiers set on maximum zoom, I can't tell what's happening. The fighting is taking place behind the rock shelter, and I can't make much of the battle through the blast hole.
What I know is what I feel in my belly. That Leo is in danger, and I can't stand by helplessly and wait for someone to come back and tell me he's been killed. I have to go see for myself. Leo can be mad at me if he wants. I don't care. I just want him to be alive so he has a chance to tell me I'm foolish for putting myself in danger.
I get on my jetbike, turn the engine on, and blast off into the desert. I swing around the rock shelter, following the path of the three warriors flanking from the east.
As I round the rock formation, I feel an increasing sense of danger. I don't know how I know, but I feel Leo needs my help. A moment later, I have my angle. I can see the battle, and it is not going well. There are far too many of the enemy, and not enough of the Tulani.
I see Leo, in his lion form, fighting back to back with a great blue bear. They are both gravely wounded, their hides covered with scorch marks and bloody wounds. They are surrounded by a score of skinners, goading at them with barbed spears, trying to keep them at bay. A blue winged lizard flies above them, chains wrapped around its feet, trying to pull it down to the ground. Only two of the other Tulani warriors are still standing.
I scream in rage and rev the engine to maximum power, and charge into the battle. My vision starts to turn red and I feel a fury inside me I've never felt before. The skinners turn around in surprise, hearing my battle-cry, and try to defend themselves. But it is too late for them. I leap off the jetbike, and it tumbles, crashing into their numbers.
I am no longer in control of myself. I feel like I'm watching myself from above. But I do not feel alarmed. It is natural. The way it must be. I trust that whatever force controls me is of like mind with myself. We share the same goal. To defend Leo, my mate.
I tumble onto the sand, somehow not breaking every one of my bones and come up leaping at the skinners attacking my mate. In mid-leap, I watch my body shift. My limbs grown in size and strength, my body lengthens, fur sprouts from my skin. I land on two skinners. I tear one of their throats out with my teeth, enjoying the taste of their hot blood on my tongue. I dig my hind claws into the one pinned below me and rake out his innards.
I roar ferociously at the remaining skinners. I am a massive golden lioness, fighting besides my mate. I see the pride in his golden eyes, as he picks his wounded body up from the desert floor.
The tides of battle begin to turn, but the odds are still against us. We are still outnumbered, and there's no escaping from this battle.
The airship engines roar to life and it lifts into the air. It trains its main guns on our position and fires a massive ball of plasma, blasting a molten crater into the sand. The blast hurls me away, scorching my flank. I hear Leo roar in defiance and he leaps in the way of another blast aimed squarely at me.
I roar in rage as the ball of plasma explodes against him, hurtling his body into the desert. I hear the sounds of two boomers exploding out of the sand near him, goading a massive voidworm before them. Leo lays still on the sand, sc
orched and bloodied.
I dash towards Leo, leaping a great distance with every bound. The voidworm hurls itself into the air and arcs down, intent on devouring my mate. I leap one last time into the air, putting all my strength into my limbs. I twist my bod, slamming my shoulder into Leo, slamming him out of harm's way.
The voidworm crashes down on me, consuming me into its massive maw.
24
LEO
I stand in the open air, staring up into the night sky. I watch the stars, wondering which one my Astrid once called home. I never had the chance to ask her. I thought I would have the rest of my life to learn everything about her.
Inside me, I am consumed by torment. My rage battling my disrepair. I have lost my fated mate. A tear drops from my eye. The first tear I have ever shed. I am not ashamed.
My Astrid was my fated mate. The Apotheosis Chamber sensed her strength and gifted her a second form to match mine. As it was with our glorious ancestors.
I scream up into the night sky. “How could you bring us together and tear us apart so cruelly? What sense is there in being alive without my other half?!”
When I awoke from my injuries, I was maddened with rage. I meant to travel into the Great Sand Sea, and find foes strong enough to join me with my mate.
I pick up my vest from the seat of my jetbike, and put it on over my bandages. I heal quickly, but that battle left me with grievous wounds. It will be many days before I fully recover. I do not plan to live that long.
I turn on the jetbike, and it lifts up, ready to take me to my doom.
“Leo, wait.” The voice belongs to Bakal.
I look back at him. He walks towards me alone. He too was greatly wounded in battle. I was told that he was the one who brought down the airship. The warriors that survived had said it was a battle that would be sung about for generations. They told me of Astrid's heroics. How she saved me from certain destruction. They told me how my brother brought down the airship with his breath of blue lightning.
Renegade Leo: A Scifi Alien Shifter Romance (Shifter Kings of Kartak Book 1) Page 9