Bakal comes to a stop by my side. “Where do you plan to go?”
I look up at the sky, then back at him. “I do not know. Wherever I may find battle.”
“Is that your plan? To throw yourself into battle? To die, fighting for no cause?”
I look away from him. I do not want him to see the tears in my eyes. “Yes.”
“What of Astrid? What of her sacrifice? Would you kill yourself and deprive her death of its meaning?” His voice trembles with emotion.
I turn away from him, unable to hold his gaze. He grabs my shoulder, and pulls me back to face him. “You are not the only one to suffer from her death. Astrid was your fated mate. I only dream of knowing what that would mean to me. But, Astrid did not just change your life. She changed all of our lives. In her we saw hope. A future for our clan.”
“When I saw her shift into her second form. I knew, without a doubt in my mind, that she would be my Queen, and that you would again be my King. I knew that you would lead us into a new future. I knew that in that future, I too would find my fated mate.”
I look into his eyes, and know what he says is true. He still believes in our clan's future. But how can I keep going without my Astrid? Before, she came into my life, I only thought I knew what was missing from me. But now, I truly know, and I cannot bear it.
I turn my eyes away from him. He grabs me by the other shoulder and gives me a rough shake. “Brother, I know your despair. I know the rage burning in your heart. But you must not let her sacrifice be in vain.”
“Drake would have us return to what we were before you returned to us with Astrid. We were without purpose. There were many times when I left Haven, intent to never return. To live out the rest of my life as a renegade until death found me. As you once did. I will not return to the old ways. We have found hope. We found Astrid's friend on the airship. We found Rhea. You can honor Astrid's memory, by achieving the dream that only she could see.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder, and turns me towards the great dining hall. “Come. Speak to Rhea. She has asked to see you. She wants to meet the man who calls Astrid his mate.”
I nod. He is right. Astrid has helped me grow past being a sullen child. I must bring honor to her memory. I put my arm around Bakal's shoulder as we walk into the dining hall. “Thank you Bakal. You are truly a great friend.”
25
ASTRID
All is darkness. I have no weight. I have no substance. I hear nothing. I feel nothing.
I try to move, but I have no limbs. I try to scream out, but I have no mouth to scream with. No lungs to breath with. My mind is all fear. I panic. I want out. Where am I? Who am I?!
In the void, I sense something. It's a point of reference. It grounds me. I find my way to it. I don't know if it moves to me, or I move to it. But we are together as one.
She is a lioness, powerful, protective and proud. I know her. I am her.
I am a lioness.
I sense another presence. It is close. A faint heartbeat. It is within me, but it is not me.
It is my child. A son.
A mind stirs. My mind. I am Astrid. I carry within me a child. The first son of my fated mate.
I center myself in the void. I am calm. I do not despair. Leo will find me.
He is my fated mate.
26
LEO
My brother was not present at dinner where I met with Rhea. I am happy to have met her. I can see why saving Rhea was so important to Astrid. She is so full of hope.
I see now how I can carry out Astrid's dreams for our clan, with her help. I must speak with Drake about our clan's future.
Bakal warned me that Drake is no longer the man I remember. That he has accepted our clan's doomed fate. I must try to convince him otherwise.
I sensed a great trepidation in the dining hall, mixed with hope. The whole Clan has heard the story of how Astrid was gifted with a second form. They have heard of her great sacrifice. Word has spread quickly to our splintered clan. And there are whispers that soon they will return to Haven, to reunite the clan. I must speak with Drake. I cannot allow this opportunity to pass unheeded.
I knock loudly on his apartment door.
“Come in brother.”
I enter the royal apartments and find him sitting on his couch, a nearly empty bottle of dark liquor in his hand. He is still wearing his battle garb. He stinks of booze, and dried blood.
“I was expecting you.” His voice is sloppy. I see empty discarded bottles scattered across the floor.
“How long have you been drinking Drake?”
“Who knows?” He gulps down the last of his bottle and tosses the bottle to the floor. “It doesn't matter.”
“It doesn't matter?” I cannot contain the anger in my voice. “You are our King. This is a great crux in the history of our clan. And you choose this time to sink into a drunken stupor?!”
I reach down and pull him up from the couch by his collar. “Do you think you are the one who suffers here?! Astrid sacrificed herself for me, for our clan! And you dare wallow in misery while our people wait to find out what course their King sets them on next?!”
“Loss?” He pushes me off him. “You think you are the only one who knows loss? You who abandoned me? Thrust all your responsibility on me? You left me to try to hold the pieces together when you could not handle the fate that had fallen on our clan! I was barely a man! But you left me to take all the blame! And now you come back, with your so called Queen, and everyone is ready to follow you again! Like they have forgotten your betrayal!”
He grabs another bottle from the bar and flicks its cork off with his thumb. He takes a deep pull and stands there swaying. His voice grows quite. I can barely hear his whispers. “When you came back, I did what I thought I had to. For the good of our clan.”
I move in closer to him. I see him struggling with his words.
“I didn't believe Astrid was your fated mate. I thought she was a fraud. A way for you to come back into my good graces. I could not stand for you to give false hope to our clan. It would shatter us. So I made a deal, with the Void Seek-”
I smash my first into his mouth. He falls to the ground, bleeding from a split lip. I reach down and pull him up by his collar and punch him in the stomach. He doubles over wheezing in pain. “You did what?!”
He stands back up, wobbling, and laughs bitterly. “I made a deal. I told them I would give you up to them. In exchange they would let us live in peace until our clan disappeared into history.”
I roar with rage and smash his head against the wall. I pull him back to me and throw him into the bar. Bottles shatter, spilling their contents on the floor.
I grab him by the neck and pull out a dagger. I train the point on his heart. “Why tell me this?! Why now?”
“Because I know now that I was a fool.” He looks me straight in the eyes. “I thought Astrid was a fraud. Then I saw her shift into her second form. I saw her sacrifice herself for you. It was just like the stories mother told us when we were children. You remember the story.” Tears well up in his eyes and his voice quivers with sadness. “It was your favorite one. How Queen Naruni first shifted to save the King, her fated mate. I remember that horrible drawing you made of it. The one mother kept on her desk.”
I feel my anger slowly draining from me. Replaced with a deep sadness. Is this how our clan will end? In fratricide? I drop my knife. It clatters on to the floor. I know I share the blame for this outcome.
“I didn't tell you this just to relieve my own burden. Our people have hope yet.”
I look up at him. “What are you getting at?”
“Astrid is not dead.”
“What?!”
He digs into his pocked, takes out a black metal coin and tosses it into my hand. It is imprinted with the symbol of the Void Seekers on one side and a voidworm on the other. “The voidworms don't kill those that they devour. They take them to the Great Void where their substance is slowly devoured. But it takes
time. Centuries even.”
I feel the heat of my anger rising again. “Are you taunting me? Are you telling me that my Astrid has been denied a quick death, and will instead suffer for centuries?”
“No, brother. I’ve done enough ill to you. That coin will allow you to travel through a voidworm to where Astrid is held. With that coin, you will not be consumed. Kill the Void Seeker there and you will be able to set her free.”
I study my brother carefully, trying to judge his intentions. He may be drunk and he may hate me, but I see a great shame in him, and the desire to set things right. I see my little brother, as we were when we were children, playing at our mother’s feet.
“Very well. Then I must find a voidworm and allow it to consume me.”
My brother smiles grimly. “I know just where you can find one.”
I stand at the edge of a great pit, staring down below. In the pit is a great voidworm, chained with lengths of adamantium chain to the pit's walls. A rope dangles into the pit, ending just above its maw. In the creature's maw I see a great black void, crackling with purple lightning.
Batak looks into the pit and then at me. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He looks at Drake with great contempt. “He betrayed you once. How do you know he is not sending you to your death?”
I keep staring into the maw. Trying to imagine what Astrid must be going through. “I do not know what fate awaits me. What I know is that if I have a glimmer of hope that I can still save Astrid, then I must. No matter the risk to myself. I cannot let you go in my stead. I need you back in Haven, to lead our clan should I fail to return.”
He nods grimly. I know it is what he would do in my place.
“And what of your brother?”
“He will be cast into exile, as I once was. Our clan has suffered enough. His prophecy has yet to be fulfilled. He may have yet a part to play in our clan's saga.”
“As you say.” We clasp hands. I look at my brother, studying him. I know letting him live is not an entirely selfless choice. I played a part in his tragedy. I hope that he seeks redemption as a renegade, and returns home to his clan a better man. As I did.
Without another word, I grab onto the rope, swing out into the pit and drop into the voidworm's maw.
I am enveloped by darkness. My body is torn to shreds. Purple lightning tears through me, breaking me into pieces and putting me back together. The darkness fades. I am kneeling on a cold metal floor. My breathing is heavy and rapid. I have no idea where I am.
I plant my fist on the floor and push myself to my feet. My legs are like rubber. I try to take a step and nearly fall on my face. I lean against wall and try to catch my breath.
I search my mind trying to remember why I am here. I see a pale face, ringed with golden hair. “My sweet Astrid. I will bring you home.”
I push myself off the wall and steady my feet. My vision is clearing. I look at my surroundings. The room is large. Its ceiling is at least thrice my height. The walls are plain, smooth metal. The only break in the walls is a single wide door.
In the center of the room, there is a black circle. No, it is a sphere. I look closer at it and my head begins to spin. I suppress the urge to vomit. I cannot make sense of it. It is like a hole in reality. It has no substance. I look away from it, but I see it in the corner of my vision. I see a black tendril reaching out from it. I look back and the it is gone.
I feel the Void Seeker coin hanging on a chain around my neck. It feels like ice against my skin. I remember now. This is what allowed me through the void. My mate is trapped within that void. I have to kill the Void Seeker.
I hear footsteps outside the door. There is no cover here but the void. I try to step behind it, keeping it between me and the door. But I cannot. It is as if it does not obey the rules of reality. It is not in one place. I begin to suspect that it does not even truly belong in our world.
The door slides open and I am besieged by black robed acolytes. I shoot the first two with my pistol and draw my sword. I want to get in close, to lock eyes with them as I kill them. To punish them for taking my Queen.
I leap into my enemies. I cut one open from his sternum to his crotch. The next loses his hand, still holding his rifle. His head follows with a second swing. I feel a sword cut my arm. I spin around and smash his head open with a kick. Two remain by the entrance, weapons trained on me. They open fire on me. I feel a bullet strike me in the shoulder and my thigh. I ignore the pain and charge them, drawing a knife with my empty hand. I stab one through the eye and leave the knife embedded in his skull. I drop low and cut the other's legs off at the knee. He collapses to the floor, spurting blood from his stumps. I stand up and stop his wailing with a boot to his jaw.
Purple lightning crackles through the door and strikes me in the chest. It hurls me into the air and I slam into the far wall. I see a tall creature, covered in black robes. Purple lightning dances in his hands.
You dare introduce in my temple?
The voice pounds in my head. Another bolt of lightning erupts from his hand into my body. The pain is excruciating. I try to reach for a dagger to throw into him, but I cannot move my hands.
Do you feel your strength abandoning you? Nothing can stand before the Void! Nothing!
Another bolt of lightning tears through my body. I feel my strength draining from my body.
You will join your mate as a great sacrifice to the Void. Fear not, your sacrifice will not be wasted. Your strength will feed the Void and with your strength It will consume the world!
I roar in defiance. I try to shift into my second form, but I am weak. The Void Seeker laughs in my mind, mocking me. He is stripping me of everything that I am. I feel my memories fading, my thoughts fade into nothing. I slump on the floor defeated.
Then in the darkness, I feel Astrid's presence. I feel our connection, the bond of fated mates. A bond strong enough to pull us together from different ends of the galaxy. The bond gives me strength. It pulls my mind out of darkness.
What is this?! It can't be!
I shift into my second form and I leap on top of the Void Seeker. I land on top of him, a giant paw on his chest, my claws digging into him. So he is made of flesh. Good. He screams as I tear his throat out and fling his broken corpse into a wall.
The Void in the center of the room blinks out of existence. Astrid lays curled in the center of the room. I change back into my first form and kneel down by my fated mate and take her into my arms. Her head is limp in my hand.
“Please be alive!” I kiss her gently on the mouth.
Her eyes blink open. She looks up at me with pale blue eyes and smiles. “I knew my fated mate would save me.”
A drop of tear falls from my cheek to her lips. I smile down at her. “No my love, you saved me.”
27
ASTRID
I slept for nearly a week after Leo brought me back to Haven. So much has changed so quickly. This is the first day I've had the energy to have visitors. But I only wanted to see one person.
Rhea's been keeping me company all day, and I couldn't be happier about it. She filled me in on what's been happening in Haven since she got here. All the important things that Leo forgets to mention. Mostly juicy gossip, and which one of these warriors she wants to test out to see if they are fated mates.
Since this is the first day that I've actually been eating, instead of just taking nutritional liquids, she brought me food she's personally taste tested.
“So, you are really planning to stay here, huh?” She pops another cream colored berry in her mouth. She's calling this one chocolate berries. Because they taste like bitter chocolate.
“Yeah, I am.” I smile. “I know we had other plans if we struck it rich. I hope you don't think I'm abandoning you?”
She laughs at me. “Man. Being stuck in that void must have really messed up your mind. You think if I hooked up with a big blue hunk that also happens to be a King, I would still stick to those plans? You are crazy.”
I lau
gh with her. I knew she would understand.
“So, we've talked about a lot of things. But you haven't told me the most important thing.” She leans in close and lowers his voice. “How big is he?”
I blush and laugh again.
“No, seriously?” She holds her hands out in front of her. “So this big? No?” She spreads her hands even further. “This big? No? Seriously? Come on, help a girl out. I need some details to put into my book. If you don't tell me the truth, I'm just going to have to make it up.”
“Fine, fine. He's got eight ridges. If you ever sleep with one of them, you'll know what that means.”
Leo picks that exact time to walk in. We both burst out giggling.
“Okay, Leo. Thanks for letting me visit your Queen.” She looks back at me and feigns a shocked expression. “Queen! Can you believe it? My best friend is a Queen!”
“And my best friend is going to be a Merchant Prince!”
“I know, right?” She looks back at Leo as she stands up from the couch. “Okay, Leo. I'm going to get out of your hair. Erm, mane? You know what to do. This girl hasn't gotten any in a week and she's gonna need some.”
“Rhea!” I blush furiously.
Rhea winks at me, gives Leo a hug and limps out of the room. “Don't worry Leo, I'll close the door behind me. Have fun your majesties!”
Leo waits just until the door closes behind her before he scoops me up from the couch and gives me a deep kiss. I put my arm around his neck and kiss him back, inviting his tongue into my mouth. He purrs into my lips and puts me gently on the bed.
“Are you feeling better now my love?”
I moan lightly and nod. “Yeah, I'm more than alright. I have been wanting you all day.” I lightly touch his sides. “How are you feeling?”
“I am better now.” He lifts up his shirt to show me his ribs. “I took off the bandages yesterday. My ribs are just tender.”
Renegade Leo: A Scifi Alien Shifter Romance (Shifter Kings of Kartak Book 1) Page 10