Real Love 1 (If Only You Were Mine)

by H. H. Fowler

  “Because I knew you would have stopped the ceremony,” Drake said. “I wanted Sasha to be my wife.”

  “Even in the face of that obnoxious note? What changed from then to now?”

  Drake scoffed at his thoughts. “I stumbled upon Sasha kissing my best friend and she doesn’t know I saw them.”

  Rev. Henderson exhaled a long breath. “Well, by your very actions, I assume you haven’t confronted Sasha and this so-called best friend about it.”

  Drake didn’t respond.

  “Answer me, son,” Rev. Henderson prodded. “Sasha has a right to know how this situation is affecting you. You both need to talk about this –”

  “What right does she have?” Drake snapped. “She was seeing my best friend behind my back and she didn’t say one word to me about it. And she still hasn’t. Why should I give her the satisfaction? That is exactly what she wants anyway – a reason to leave me so that she can run off with him.”

  Rev. Henderson squeezed his brows in confusion. “Please make me understand. A few minutes ago you were hell bent on annulling your marriage, now you don’t want Sasha to leave you. Or is it that you want her to stay so that you can punish her? And frankly my dear boy, this is not the Drake Beckford I’ve helped raise into the fine young man he is today.”

  “Then what do you propose I do? And please don’t tell me to talk it over with Sasha, because that’s out of the question. I can barely look at her now.”

  “Sasha is a smart woman. Don’t you think she will figure out that something is not right with her husband?” Rev. Henderson decided to take a different route when Drake didn’t respond. “Do you still love your wife?”

  “Why do you insist on calling her my wife?”

  “Because she still is… now why don’t you answer my question?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just as I said. I don’t know if I still love Sasha. I need some time to think about it…”

  There was a knock on the door, interrupting the men from a very intense moment. Rev. Henderson got up to answer it, only to be told by a messenger that Sasha was waiting in the foyer to see Drake. Rev. Henderson gave instructions to the messenger that Drake would be out in a few minutes. In turning his attention back to Drake, Rev. Henderson did not like the discouraged spirit he saw in his son.

  “We’re not done talking about this,” he told Drake. “Obviously your wife is concerned about you. Talk to her…things are not always as they seem.”

  Drake pushed to his feet, having one more request to make. “I will also need some time off from active ministry. I can’t function in this state. It would be unfair to you and unfair to the people of El Shaddai Ministries.”

  Rev. Henderson held back his fatherly retort and instead, asked a question he knew he would regret. “How much time are we talking?”

  “I don’t know…maybe a month or two…”

  “Two months? What are you going to be doing in all that time?”

  Drake shrugged. “I have no idea. But you will be my first point of contact whatever I do decide.”

  Rev. Henderson pulled Drake into a tight hug. “My only prayer is that you will heed my words. The devil is busy creating havoc and he doesn’t care who he destroys. May the grace and the wisdom of God be with you.”

  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth

  1 Corinthians 13:6

  Chapter Nine

  Xavier High School – Monday 8:11a.m.

  Today was Sasha’s first day back to work since her marriage to Drake, but she was far from being the happiest bride in the world. And it had nothing to do with her choosing to be with Drake, but had everything to do with how he was acting lately. Cold, unresponsive and downright miserable. How would she ever know what was going on with her husband if he refused to communicate with her? He wouldn’t even touch her and would do his best to avoid any attempt at being intimate. All this change in attitude happened within a week. She could still feel the sting from his actions after they got home from church yesterday.

  “Drake, please talk to me,” she’d pleaded, running behind him into Levi’s front door. “What have I done that’s causing you to act this way?”

  “If you really want to help me,” he growled, “let me deal with this on my own.”

  “No, I’m not letting you do that. I am your wife and I deserve to know what’s going on with you.”

  “Trust me, it’s better you don’t know.”

  Sasha curved her speed in front of Drake, forcing him to slow his movement. “Do you regret marrying me? Did someone say something to you about me? My God, Drake, what is it?”

  Drake stared past her without a response.

  “You can’t even look at me anymore,” she said. “I can tell that you’re disgusted with me. Maybe I didn’t turn out to be the person you were expecting.”

  Finally Drake’s unsympathetic gaze found his wife. “You’ve said it; not me…”

  Well, Sasha had had enough of the madness. She would make it her business that as soon as she got off from work, she would pin Drake into a corner and force him to talk to her, even if he continued to insult her feelings. Maybe she was unknowingly responsible for the switch in her husband; however, one thing was clear: Drake’s actions made her suspicious about her own little indiscretion with Levi the other night. And she would have straight out asked Drake about it had she not been too afraid of the outcome. In any event, she needed to come clean to her husband and let him know that she had not been entirely truthful, because Rev. Henderson had always taught that it was not wise to start off a new marriage based on lies and deceit.

  Sasha was relieved to know that tomorrow would be her and Drake’s last night staying in Levi’s guest room. It’d been pure hell trying to avoid Levi and his sexual advances and even now as Sasha looked through the window of her tenth grade classroom, she had a perfect view of Levi, who was on the basketball court helping to coach a boys’ team to the national championship. He was always showing his legs and Sasha had had her fill of those hairy things.

  “Look at you – the newest bride in town!”

  Sasha turned her head to the intrusive voice. It was Mrs. Georgia O’Grady – one of the youngest principals that Xavier High School had ever had. But she was as fierce and as intimidating as an army commander.

  Sasha stood to her feet. “Mrs. O’Grady…I didn’t hear you come in…”

  “You don’t have to stand. I just wanted to pay you a visit before the students come rushing into their classroom.” She gave Sasha a onceover and decided that Sasha was no match for her in appearance or anything else. Too bad that some of her colleagues thought that Sasha would make an excellent assistant to the principal. That was not in the cards for Sasha anytime soon; she would make sure of that. “How was the honeymoon? All that you ever dreamed, I hope.”

  “Yes, it was beautiful,” Sasha replied sheepishly. “I almost didn’t want to return to work.”

  “It was that good, huh? Well, we’re in the middle of the school year and we can’t have any of our teachers going MIA.”

  “Oh no,” Sasha gushed. “I wouldn’t dare think of it. We are short on staff as it is.”

  Mrs. O’Grady loved Sasha’s response. “I couldn't have said it better myself. Anyway, congratulations again. And I sincerely hope that you and your husband have a wonderful life together. Divorce is the new trend these days. I would hate to see you become another statistic.”

  Sasha held back on saying thank you because she was sure Mrs. O’Grady’s words were meant to insult her rather than express genuine happiness. Sasha was no fool. She knew Mrs. O’Grady didn’t care too much for her being at Xavier High School. Ever since Sasha was unanimously voted “Teacher of the Year” two times in a row by the school board, the woman had showed nothing but contempt, hidden behind that pretentious smile. However, Mrs. O’Grady was the least of Sasha’s worries. A person who was that happy about breathing negat
ive words into her new marriage didn’t deserve her attention anyway. Sasha would see to it that she and Drake didn’t succumb to the misery of another failed marriage.

  That was why Sasha couldn’t wait for her work hours to end – even though it was her first day back to work. She had to take care of business at home. So, as soon as she dismissed her class, she was walking out behind them through the exit. In her haste to get to her car, she accidentally dropped a binder of student hand-outs. She bent to retrieve it, only to be stopped by Levi’s kind gesture.

  “Let me get that for you,” he said. “Why the rush?”

  Sasha refused to focus on Levi’s scarcely clad body, a skill she was beginning to master by keeping her thoughts centered on how much she loved Drake.

  “Thank you, but I could have gotten it myself,” she replied tersely.

  “Don’t be mean to me. I was just trying to help.”

  Sasha began to walk off but not before she spat, “Just like you’re trying to help destroy my marriage.”

  Levi sighed, clearly frustrated with his methods of trying to woo the love of his life. “Come on, Sasha. We both know that you shouldn’t have married Drake. You guys have only been married for a week and he doesn’t even want to talk – not without giving you attitude.”

  “Well, aren’t you full of yourself,” she snapped. “My husband is not talking to me and I believe it’s because he suspects something…you’re always hanging around, doing crazy stuff to get us caught. He’s barely talking to you as well!”

  “You don’t believe that I’m that evil, do you? And Drake is not smart enough to figure out what’s going on anyway. He’s too consumed with that church of his.”

  “That church, is also my church,” Sasha scoffed. “You’re unbelievable! Stay away from me.”

  Levi smirked, but his heart was crushed. “I can’t…you mean too much to me. Besides, you’re staying in one of my guest rooms – just feet away from within my reach…”

  Sasha didn’t bother to respond to something she thought was so absurd. She climbed into her car and sped out of the parking lot. She was doing fifty in a thirty-mile-an-hour zone. She suddenly slowed down, just in case she sped by a police car. She couldn’t afford to be hindered from her mission. How strange that she would feel this sense of urgency at this particular time of day. It actually felt as if she was about to lose something of value and she couldn’t really explain what it was. All she knew was that she had to get home to Drake and empty her heart of all the lies and deception she’d been carrying around for months.

  ****

  When Sasha finally made it back to Levi’s compound, she wasted no time calling out to her husband. But from the moment she entered through the front door, she was met with an abnormally quiet atmosphere. It increased Sasha’s anxiety and as she ran from one end of Levi’s house to the other, unable to find Drake, she began to imagine the worst scenarios. But just before she completely lost it to utter panic, she decided to redouble her efforts to the guest room.

  She studied the room more closely. One of Drake’s pieces of luggage was missing and so were his toiletries that had been on the dresser that morning. She’d left Drake asleep in bed, which now showed no signs that he’d actually been in it. The bed was properly made and there, resting on one of the pillows, was a folded note. On the outside it read simply, To Sasha. Next to the note was one of the bracelets Hunter had given to them as a wedding gift.

  However, it was not until Sasha opened the note that she almost fell to the floor. And it was not because she’d recognized the custom-made insignia, which was stamped on the pages of a notepad Drake had bought two summers ago. The fact that she’d been looking for that particular notepad for as long as she could remember didn’t arrest her attention like the first two sentences written on the paper, which was preceded by a short message from Drake:

  Think twice about marrying Sasha. I have proof that she was sleeping with your best friend while you were overseas. This is from a concerned friend.

  ---------------

  I received this note on our wedding day. At first I didn’t believe it, because you never gave me a reason to. But when I saw you kissing Levi the other night, my eyes were opened. You never loved me. You’ve been deceiving me all this time. Why did you do this to me when all I ever did was love you? Don’t bother trying to find me; our marriage was over before it even began. – Drake

  Weak from shock, Sasha collapsed onto the bed. Even if she wanted to run out into the street, screaming out Drake’s name, she hadn’t the strength to do anything except pray that her sanity remained intact. Was the note even real? Was Drake pulling some kind of prank? But then Sasha thought, how could it be a prank when Drake said he saw her kissing Levi? That in itself was damning evidence that the note was real. Suddenly, the revelation of why Drake had been acting standoffish with her hit her like a ton of bricks. Her suspicions were right; Drake did know.

  But why didn’t Drake confront her about it, instead of bottling up all of that anger? She would have explained to him that it was Levi who’d kissed her and not the other way around, she’d never crossed the line of sleeping with him. Why would Drake even believe that garbage? Couldn’t he tell that she was a virgin when he made love to her on their wedding night? It took Sasha about fifteen minutes to finally push herself to her feet. She managed to find her way to the outside porch, where she tried to normalize her breathing. This time, she stared at the note in anger.

  Not only was she furious for the way Drake had handled this situation, but she was beyond livid to think that some sick individual dared to give Drake this note on their wedding day. The nerve of that maniac to want to ruin her and Drake’s happiness. However, it didn’t take Sasha long to focus her suspicions on Levi. After all, he’d made it no secret that he thought she was making a mistake by marrying Drake. But could Levi be that treacherous? That manipulative? There was only one way to find out.

  Adopting the actions of a bull when a red flag is waved in front of it, Sasha charged back into Levi’s house and began to ransack the place.

  Love does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking

  1 Corinthians 13:5(NIV)

  Chapter Ten

  When Levi got home that night from his job at the Blue Marlin, he met his house turned upside down from top to bottom. His only thought was that some bandits had gotten in, putting Drake and Sasha’s safety in jeopardy. Levi kept two licensed guns. One beneath the driver’s seat of his car and the other beneath his mattress. He swiftly spun around to retrieve the one from beneath the driver’s seat. He returned and began to carefully and quietly make his way through the mess.

  Levi’s fear of Sasha being hurt, led him first to the guest room, only to find it empty and in greater disarray. Levi’s heart was slamming against his chest as he backed out into the hall. His inspection of other rooms in the house came up empty. Neither Drake nor Sasha could be found anywhere. And as Levi now turned his attention to his own bedroom, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket to call the police. But no sooner had he stepped foot into his space, than an object came flying in his direction.

  “In all the years I’ve known you,” Sasha growled. “I’ve never known you to be so heartless and so calculating.”

  Levi stood up straight from his bended position. Whatever Sasha had thrown at him had nearly knocked his head clean off his body. But seeing that Sasha seemed to be okay, (in a sense) gave him a measure of relief. “When I saw my house in chaos, immediately I thought something terrible happened to you…Are you okay? Who did this?”

  Sasha swatted Levi’s concern aside and screamed, “You’re just gonna stand there and pretend as if you don’t know what I’m talking about?”

  Levi lowered his gun and stuck it in the waist of his pants. He looked around his room and was again amazed at the extent of clutter. His clothes had been pulled out of the drawers. Papers and books were scattered all over the floor. It literally looked as if a twister had been through his
house.

  “So,” Levi asked with a newfound respect for Sasha’s temper, which of course, he didn’t even know existed. Nonetheless, it was now quite apparent. “You did all this?”

  “Stop asking these dumb questions and tell me why did you give Drake that note on our wedding day? Heck, I know why! You were hoping that note would have stopped the wedding, but it didn’t work.”

  Levi shot Sasha a blank stare. “What on earth are you talking about?”

  Sasha burst out in laughter, but it was filled with derision. “You must have thought you had this all figured out – this silly plan of yours. With Drake off to school, you took your chances trying to seduce me, constantly exposing your body. And when that didn’t work, you tried to feed my mind with negative thoughts about Drake. And when that didn’t work and you saw that I was still determined to marry Drake, you wrote that despicable note in hopes it would have ruined my relationship with Drake for good…”

  “Is that what you really think of me, Sasha? That I would go to such lengths to destroy –”

  Sasha tossed a notepad at Levi – the same notepad with the custom-designed insignia. “You can stop lying now. The truth is out! My only question is how and when did you take possession of that notepad?”

  The notepad had dropped at Levi’s feet, but he refused to even look at it, much less pick it up.

  “I found it under your mattress,” Sasha went on. “You are one sick and twisted person and I thank God that He gave me the strength to resist you! How could you do it, knowing that Drake was your best friend and I was his fiancée? You didn’t care, did you? You made your moves anyway, because you arrogantly thought you could pull it off…”

  Levi stood there in silence as the barrage of questions and insinuations punctured his soul. But the only thing he could think about in that moment was how much he was in love with Sasha. A mantra started in his head and soon began to verbalize through his mouth, without him being able to control it.