by Mia Fox
“You’re beautiful.”
“I’m not.”
“Don’t do that,” his voice was stern, like that of a father. “You know you are. I know you are. And I just complimented you.”
Holy shit. I was being scolded by an eighteen-year-old and he was right. “I’m sorry. Thank you for the compliment. You’re very kind.”
But he wasn’t just kind. He was intriguing as well and I didn’t want this evening to end.
Chapter Sixteen
Apparently, Cole and I were on the same page. “Do you have to go home?” he asked.
“You could come with me. But we might have to deal with my roommate.”
“I can deal with that. Should I follow you?”
I nodded as we walked to the parking lot and respective cars that were cutely parked next to each other as if they were having their own date.
What am I doing…what am I doing? I said to myself in the quiet of my car as I drove and repeatedly checked my rearview mirror to ensure I didn’t lose Cole. I wasn’t the best driver in the first place and now I was distracted on top of it. A traffic light turned yellow as I approached the intersection and I made the ridiculous decision to floor it, forcing Cole to do the same.
That’s just great…I muttered to myself. All I need is to get us killed before we even get together. Oh my god…together.
By some miracle, I pulled into my driveway without having a coronary on the way home. As I got out of my car, Cole stepped from his and I waited for him to join me. I noticed that he was quieter than usual as if he was also contemplating what may or may not happen. I wondered if he sensed my overactive heartbeat and whether he felt my pheromones that were certainly accosting him in an invisible force field that screamed how nervous I was and yet, excited all at the same time.
Cole followed me into the house and I quickly assessed that Megan wasn’t home. For once, she would come home to find a new person hanging out. It was a nice change of pace.
I looked at Cole and without another word, he reached for me. I was very aware that his height and mine were a perfect match. As his head tipped downward, mine lifted bringing my lips to his. It was electric. Cole’s hand weaved through my hair, gently cupping the back of my head to pull me closer to deepen our kiss.
But this was new to me in so many ways. I hadn’t been with a man in ages. I’ve never been with a younger man, and the idea of being with one so young was completely foreign to me. Add in the pressure of my boss wanting a play by play recap, and my mind inadvertently started to ruin our perfect kiss. My thoughts turned insecure and visions of the pretty girl in the parking lot who not so innocently asked why she hadn’t seen Cole lately came back to me. I wondered just how many pretty girls, way younger than myself, were after him. I wondered how many he had been with.
Although my body was supple and toned and my face still pretty, certainly I couldn’t compete with the fact that time wasn’t my friend and age would eventually catch up to me.
Cole must have sensed my mind wandering. “What are you thinking?”
“It’s stupid,” I admitted.
“Tell me,” he said with that air of authority that was so unusual for someone his age. It was a quiet confidence without arrogance and oh so attractive. It made me want to do whatever he asked.
“Here I am the one who’s older and yet, I feel nervous. I feel like you have a plethora of girls in both high school and college to choose from.”
“A plethora? That was one of my vocabulary words this week,” he teased.
“So glad to hear that,” I smirked with the knowledge that he certainly knew how to tease and strike at my very weakness.”
“You shouldn’t worry. I’m not interested in anyone at my school or the college where I train, for that matter. “They have nothing on you.”
“But they’re young,” I said, needing him to address the elephant in the room.
“But that only means they play games. They act like they’re interested and then if a guy responds they get offended that you came on to them. It’s mental whiplash.”
The intention behind his words were soothing, but the underlying message still made me nervous. He basically admitted that there were girls interested in him, even if the reason they hadn’t gotten together was his choice. I could tell that he wasn’t that innocent, but then again there was no sure way to really know. The last thing I wanted was to de-flower someone. The whole purpose of the blog post was to live out a fantasy — to be taken by a much younger man.
But could it stop there? Already, this was going beyond the job. That very first blog post was about need and desire. Now, in getting to know Cole it was obvious that something had been missing from my life for a very long time. My boss may have wanted this to be just about sex, but I didn’t function that way. She was concerned about advertisers and revenue. I was thinking about emotions.
I didn’t know if I could take that chance with my heart and yet, if I didn’t, my job would be the thing taken from me. My son, Jack, would probably have a total conniption if he knew what I was doing and yet, ironically I had to keep my job to help support him. These kisses went beyond physicality. I wasn’t the type to fool around and not have my heart get involved. I wouldn’t be able to have casual sex, but I realized that a guy of Cole’s age probably could.
I pulled away from Cole and took a deep breath to try and steady myself and get control of my wanting hormones. “I think that you might be a bit of a player,” I said quietly.
He shook his head and pulled me closer once more. It was reassuring and felt so good. “Why do you think that?” he said, his mouth against the side of my cheek.
“You’re hot.” The words came out with a wistful chuckle. “And, if you must know…the way you kiss is amazing.” I glanced from his eyes to his mouth as I spoke the sentiment, not meaning to be so overt and yet, not able to help myself. His earlier kiss left me turned on and the feeling wasn’t going away.
“Listen, I’ve only been with three people and none of those times were amazing. But this…this is.” He pulled me closer once more and this time it wasn’t as slow or gentle. It had need and intention. “But that’s why we’re going to wait.”
I was already so turned on and he was in total control. He pushed back from me and took my hands in his.
“Wait?” I asked.
He nodded. “I like you. I don’t want to rush things.”
“Of course not,” I said a bit too quickly. My pride was acting up. Did he think that I was rushing into things? Truth be told, I was just responding to his actions. How was I to know that my response would be so strong? “We don’t have to do anything.”
“Kat…I never said I didn’t want to do anything. I just don’t think we should do everything.”
And then, he took me in his arms again and kissed me like I had never been kissed before.
Chapter Seventeen
Cole let his mouth trail kisses down my neck as he spoke seductively. “If I got the chance, do you know what I would do to you?”
I shook my head, unable to formulate words for the growl in his voice left me shaking.
“I would kiss you gently…to start…”
Oh my. “To start?”
“Uh huh, then I’d take your wrists…” As he spoke his hands suddenly grasped around the small circumference of my wrists, making me well aware of his strength. “I’d lay you down…”
And right then and there, he did exactly that. He led me to a plush rug that was positioned in front of the fireplace. Gently, he maneuvered me toward the floor, dipping me backwards in a tempting waltz until I lay on my back with his body now prone above mine.
All the while, his tantalizing words continued to seduce me. “I’d hold your hands above your head while I touch you.” His hands were strong. He only needed one to hold both of mine in place. The other found its way underneath my dress, his finger moving the sheer fabric of my panties aside. “I’d feel your warmth.”
He conti
nued to touch me gently to which I could only make soft mewing sounds. “And then maybe…maybe…I’d kiss you between your legs, if you let me.”
My thoughts suddenly flooded my brain like a Fourth of July fireworks show. Men my own age just jumped to the main event. Foreplay was a dating game that I hadn’t participated in for many years. My desire took over and I broke free from his hand that restrained me while relishing the way the other explored me.
“Maybe? Maybe?!”
Cole maneuvered himself onto one arm to meet my gaze. He threw me a mischievous smile and positioned himself over me, nudging my legs open with his own. “You’re delicious. I know it.”
As he lowered his head, there was only one thought that entered my mind. I was falling for him.
Rachel was getting antsy for another blog post, but until my evening with Cole I hadn’t known what to write about. Now, there was no doubt in my mind.
He left my home around midnight after a marathon make-out session that nearly went into more intimate territory. Like a seesaw, we would rise to a heated frenzy and then pull apart in an attempt to cool things off. We spoke about not wanting to rush into a physical relationship, but with every kiss and touch it became harder to turn off the passion.
Finally, I forced myself to roll away from his tantalizing touch and mouth, and grabbed my clothes, pulling them on as if they were a modern chastity belt that would maintain my virtue and his…at least for the time being.
Sending him home was the hardest thing for I truly wanted him to wake up with me in the morning. But I liked him. A lot. And those feelings kept me strong. They also kept the excitement level up, along with feelings that reminded me of a first crush. The chase was an aphrodisiac and more fun than I had experienced in years. I found myself thinking of Cole daily and anticipating when I might see him again.
Dating today didn’t follow rules. There was nothing that said a woman couldn’t contact a man, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to want me enough to make the moves. Yet, I realized that this situation wasn’t the norm and he had already mentioned that he wasn’t sure how to proceed with me. It left us in a dating limbo land, both of us enjoying each other’s company and yet not fully launching into date mode.
One week later, I went to watch Jack play in a field hockey tournament and found myself hoping to see Cole. The day was picture perfect, the type that inspired visitors to relocate to Southern California for the weather even if it meant they would have to put up with the annoying habits of Angelenos such as our need to customize every single order even if it’s a smoothie or coffee. Bless the baristas at Starbucks for never offering a snide comment when asked to prepare a drink far more complicated than it needs to be.
After his game, I made my way across the field, my white dress flowing in the blowing breeze behind me. It was like a beacon announcing my arrival as I felt Cole’s eyes on me. I turned with the sensation of being watched and smiled as he waved from the distance, pleased that my instincts were attuned to him.
I waited while he walked to where I stood under the shade of a large California pepper tree. “You don’t have a game?”
“Not for an hour,” he replied. “I’ll need to warm up in about thirty, but I thought I’d keep you company for awhile?”
He asked rather than stated his intention and I readily nodded my agreement. It was nice seeing him, just being near him, and I realized that I would have been sorely disappointed had he not been here.
He stared ahead at the game, not making eye contact and I did the same. It was an unspoken truth that we needed to be discreet about our relationship. I still didn’t understand how I had allowed myself to be involved with a younger man. Certainly others would question it. As we watched the game, he talked quietly.
“You know, I didn’t tell you this when we first met, but I had seen you before with Jack. It was before I knew him. I didn’t realize you were his mom, but I certainly noticed you. You came to a game about two years ago and I watched you.”
“You watched me? In a creepy way?”
He laughed a hearty laugh as if my openness really amused him. “Well I didn’t see it that way. More in an admiring way. You were wearing a short, black sundress and the breeze kept blowing it slightly, like today. I found myself wishing that the breeze would get just a bit stronger.”
“Really? Is that all you wished for?” I kept my voice low and he leaned in, letting my words flow softly in his ear.
“I would have wished I was sitting next to you…close.” I remembered the last time we were alone and a tingling sensation started in my core.
“Do you want to watch the last game with me? Jack is running errands; he’ll be back later. I don’t want to sit alone.”
The game was being played on the football stadium turf and Cole pointed to the seats that were up high. “Let’s head up there.”
We were perched high above the game, not really paying attention to the action on the field, but more interested in our own conversation. We sat close enough for our thighs to touch and I could feel the heat radiate off his body, keeping me warm and reminding me of how much I wanted this flirtation to continue and move forward.
Still, nagging nerves of our age gap weighed on me, not to mention I felt I needed to come clean about my job and my latest assignment. We hadn’t been together in a week and in that time we hadn’t spoken either. I feared he might regret what we did the other night and I didn’t want there to be additional reasons for him to pull away.
We hadn’t gone all the way, but nearly. I kept wondering why he hadn’t contacted me since that evening. Maybe for him it was just momentary horniness and now the reality struck him and he was grossed out. Or maybe he wanted me to continue to make the first move because as the older woman, I was more likely to reject his advances. But that wasn’t the case. I wanted to be pursued. I didn’t want to be the one chasing.
Could I really compete with girls his age who weren’t afraid to hit him up for a quickie? On the one hand, I worked out a ridiculous amount and the results showed on my body. I was blessed with good skin that defied wrinkles, thus far. My hair was thick and wavy; my eyes still shone with a youthful exuberance. But there was a truth that couldn’t be ignored… I was old enough to be his mother. Granted, I would have given birth at only 23, but still. Maybe that knowledge was enough to make him rethink spending more intimate time with me.
We watched the field hockey game and I decided to launch into a game of “would you rather” to get to the bottom of my questions.
“Want to play a game?” I asked, my heart pounding with the knowledge that I was trying to figure out a tactful way of asking if he found the idea of having sex with me to be hot or not.
“Love to. What are we playing?”
“I’ll ask a question first. You answer truthfully and then you get to ask me a similar question. As we go on, we’re allowed to ask tougher questions.”
“Why is that?”
“Because hopefully, we establish a trust.”
He nodded and raised an eyebrow at me. “Trust is good. You start.”
“Well, speaking of trust…you didn’t tell me that you had noticed me before and I haven’t told you something.”
“You noticed me too?” he joked.
“Sort of. The blog I write for…I wrote about you.”
“Say what?”
Oh shit. Was he mad? I couldn’t tell yet, but I had to carry on. “Not in a way that anyone would know it’s you. I just admitted to being attracted to you and apparently, my readers thought I should go for it.”
He smiled and placed his hands behind his head, leaning back onto his arms. “Your readers sound very astute.”
Relief flooded me and his answer gave me the courage to pursue my next question. Hopefully, my winning streak would continue. “I’m glad you’re not mad. So…about my game. You still up for playing?”
“I am. I love knowing how your mind works. The good parts, the naughty parts…”
; I couldn’t look into his eyes. That naughty part within me, as he said, was kicking in. I stared straight ahead, trying to focus on the game being played far below us on the field while launching into my first question.
“Would you rather…,” I started. “By the way, all the questions start with that phrase. It’s sort of a rule.”
“I see. Alright, continue. I’m ready.”
“Would you rather…make out for an hour and never get to the main course or go straight to the main event, but have it end in ten minutes?”
He crossed his arms and looked at me with amusement. For some reason, I felt like my father was staring at me and I blushed. “So we’re asking those sorts of questions?” he made a clucking sound with his tongue.
“Are these sorts of questions a problem for you?”
“Not at all. I’m an open book.”
“We’ll see. How about an answer?” I encouraged, not wanting to get off track.
“Easy. I’d rather make out for an hour.”
I liked his answer. But, I loved his comeback even more. He placed just one finger on my thigh and moved it lightly upwards before removing it after teasing me. “I like the anticipation of waiting for the main event. Now it’s my turn…”
“I’m ready,” I said, although my mind was still on the feel of his touch. As light and imperceptible as his finger was on my leg, it left me wanting more.
“You’re sure?” He gave me a sideways smile that was pure teasing.
“Hit me up.”
“Would you rather,” he drawled out the words, “Tie…or be tied?”
Oh my. He was a quick learner where this game was concerned, and even quicker with his wit.
“Be tied.”
His eyebrow raised and he looked carefully at me. “You didn’t have to think about that one very long. Anything you want to confess?”
I slapped his arm playfully. This was getting fun, but now I had to move into more dangerous territory…the question I really needed answering. “My turn. Would you rather, be with someone who is your age, but…” and then I just stopped. I couldn’t bring myself to ask the question because I didn’t want to sound like I was flattering myself. Everything was going so well, but this could end it.