by Mia Fox
What could I ask? Would you rather be with an average 18 year old or a hot 40 year old? Who was I to say that I was hot? Maybe I was fooling myself. Or what if I asked if he would rather be with someone his own age who wasn’t experienced versus someone older who was? For all I knew, he was into being the teacher and forming a girl into the perfect lover. Maybe experience was overrated.
As my mind went into overdrive and my voice became lost within me, Cole once again read me perfectly, proving that he knew what made me tick. “Were you going to ask if I’d rather be with someone your age or someone my age?
I bit my lower lip as I looked at him. My eyes darted away from his like a scared rabbit and I couldn’t bring myself to answer aloud even though it was obvious that my expression had already given away my answer.
Cole continued, “Kat, if we’re talking about you, that’s an easy question. I’d choose you any day of the week.”
I turned to him, but kept my eyes averted. It was ridiculous that here I was the older, more experienced woman, and yet I felt shy around him. “Really?”
“Truly. Let’s get out of here.”
Chapter Eighteen
We took both of our cars to my place. Field hockey was great, but the games could wait. I knew Megan was out for the afternoon and my anticipation of being with Cole had reached a fever pitch.
We entered the quiet house and the silence between us was deafening as if we both knew what would happen, but didn’t dare speak for fear of the moment passing again. Without a word, I led Cole to the couch and gave his chest a little shove. He fell back against the cushions, his eyes asking me the inevitable question of what did I have in mind.
I couldn’t believe that this was happening. Cole was so damn hot and I wanted him. I brushed my mouth near his and whispered, “I have an idea…”
“Tell me.”
“It’s a battle of wills.”
“Another game?”
“Uh huh,” I murmured while trailing kisses down his neck.
He placed his hands on my breasts, but I took them in my own and replaced them by his sides. “No touching.”
“Hmm, I’m not sure I like this game.”
“You will,” I assured him. “It’s designed to make you last.”
He put a finger under my chin and brought my mouth to his, planting a tantalizing kiss on my lips. When we came apart he asked, “Are you concerned about my abilities in that department?”
Cole was hot. There was no question about it. I wanted him. Every time he touched me, it made me wet. His kisses left me wanting more. I wanted his mouth on me…everywhere. And, I wanted to return the favor. But, I didn’t know how experienced he was or if he was designed to last. We had made a point of waiting. Now that the moment was upon us, I didn’t want our first time to be hurried, nor did I want it to end as soon as it began.
I hated the word ‘test’ but I felt like I needed to know what it might be like if we were to actually act on our flirtation. “I’ll start. I’m going to kiss you and tease you and tantalize you,” I purred. “But you can’t react.”
He smirked and gave a subtle look toward his lap. “It’s too late for that.”
“Well, you can react, but you can’t act on that reaction. No touching me back. No going further. You just have to…experience what I offer.”
He sat back against the couch, placed his arms over his head and closed his eyes. “And then, I get to take a turn with you?”
“Naturally,” I said and straddled his lap, facing him. Immediately I felt his reaction, but Cole was strong. He played my game and sat still in seemingly perfect composure. I did a pseudo lap dance for him, wriggling my hips in slow circles and allowing my dress to hitch upwards. He opened his eyes, removed his hands from behind his neck and held them up to me in a sort of ‘don’t shoot’ motion.
“Can I hold onto something?” he inquired.
“My hips,” I instructed. “But nothing else.”
He placed his hands on my hips and helped me move, putting gentle pressure on my body so it moved over his hardness. He felt so good that I threw my head back, exposing my neck to him and he immediately bent his head to kiss my throat.
“You’re not supposed to kiss me during this game,” I reminded him.
“Remind me why not?”
“Because kissing leads to other things and we’re trying to make this last,” I explained.
“Okay, but I think I’ve earned my turn.”
I contemplated him and in truth, I was more than ready to turn up the heat on this game. He was showing tremendous willpower and I was the one feeling like I needed to jump him. “Fine. It’s your turn,” I agreed. “Should I jump off?”
“No, you’re fine where you are. That is, unless you think you can’t last sitting there?” He teased me by emphasizing the word.
“I’ll show you.”
But I didn’t know what I was in for. Cole was an athlete. Games came naturally to him. He placed his hands on my waist, then slowly moved them to my back. He suddenly gave a sharp tug and pulled me harder onto his lap, forcing me to sit right on top of where he most wanted me to be. I gasped with the unexpected feel of the entire length of him between my legs and the heat that radiated from me must have lit something within him as well. He looked at me hungrily.
“Bend backwards,” he ordered as he kept his hands firmly on my back for support.
I did what he asked and arched away from him. My chest and neck were exposed to him. Again, he bent his head to kiss my neck but he continued to move his lips downward where they teased against my collarbone, then my cleavage. I felt the thin material from my dress slide open and he kissed the part of my breasts that overflowed from my bra.
He brought me upright and sent me a devilish look. “You’re in trouble.”
“Am not,” I insisted. But I was so wrong.
He cupped my breasts through my dress and moved the material to gain better access. Slowly rubbing my nipple, he smiled when it rose to attention.
“You’re going to admit that you’re in trouble.” He gently freed my breast from the lace bra and bent his head so that he could run his tongue over the bud. But when I moaned, he stopped and looked up at my face.
“Did you say something?”
He was so not funny. “No. You must have heard a bird from outdoors.”
He continued to tease me by flicking his thumb back and forth over my nipple. I could feel him growing harder as well.
“Maybe there’s something you want to talk about?” I glanced down at his lap.
“I’m sorry. Let me get this out of your way.” With me still facing him and straddled over his lap, he reached underneath me and cupped my most private area. I was so sad to not feel him between my legs, but what he did next was just as inviting. He moved the thin material of my panties aside and kept his hand in place. His middle finger lightly stroked back and forth, dipping inside me and then he just left his hand holding me.
I tried to move against his hand, encouraging him to slide a finger inside me once again, but his will and resolve were irritatingly strong. “Are you uncomfortable? You keep moving about. Do you want to sit somewhere else?”
“No,” I hissed. “I want you to move…against me…again.”
“That sounds like I may have won this game.” He drew his finger against me as he spoke, sliding it across my most sensitive part. And then, he stopped once more.
“Cole…” I whimpered.
“Maybe we should take a breather. I think you might need some pointers about this game.” His palm continued to cup me and I could feel myself getting wetter. He held me literally in the palm of his hand, making me want him like I’ve never wanted a man before.
I breathed heavily. I closed my eyes trying to focus on anything but the tantalizing feeling of his hand and my need for release, but it was no use. “Oh Cole…I need you.”
“Say please.”
“Please!”
And then he kissed me. H
ard. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my hands weave into his hair. He lifted me with surprising strength. With my legs still wrapped around him, he carried me to my bedroom.
Cole placed me on the bed and met my eyes.
“We don’t have to…” I hedged.
“Yes, we do.”
“But I know you wanted to wait. We can do other things,” I offered.
“You’ve convinced me otherwise.”
The second he uttered those words, he pulled my tiny string bikini panties down my legs and sent them flying across the room as if he were angry that they were there in the first place.
“Lie back,” he ordered.
I didn’t argue. I didn’t say a word. I just let myself sink into the bed and gasped as Cole lowered his body over mine — down my legs, kissing my stomach, my hips, my thighs and then lower still. He stayed between my legs, his mouth layering teasing kisses on my mound.
I gripped the sheets, my nails threatening to rip the silk fabric as his mouth made me crave so much more. Small moans of delight escaped me and as if to reward my patience, he let his tongue weave between the folds of my flesh.
At first he lapped at me slowly with the lightest amount of pressure. Leaving his mouth in place, he slid a finger inside of me and moved it in and out. He let his tongue move to the same rhythm until I found myself on the edge.
He had total control of me. I inhaled sharply as I felt every nerve twinge with desire. And when he crooked his finger upward and applied pressure against my G-spot I gasped from the unexpected power behind my orgasm.
Cole didn’t let up the movement of his hand or his mouth until the pulsating from deep within me subsided. “I’m not done with you…” he growled and raised himself upwards.
I could feel his hardness pressing up against me and I opened my legs in response to him. He slid into me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper.
“God, you feel so good,” he said as he thrust his hips forward, slowly and deeply.
“Don’t leave. Just keep doing this.”
He did just as I asked, moving back and forth. When I felt like was going to explode once again he sensed it and slowed us down. “Flip over for me,” he instructed.
I straightened my leg and he slid an arm underneath me, easily turning me over so that I was on top.
“Ride me. Make yourself feel good.”
His words were an understatement. He didn’t just feel good to me, I had never felt better. I took him deeper and relished the way he filled me. I moved my hips in small circles and then, when I saw him take a deep breath as if he were trying desperately not to let it end, I decided that’s exactly what I wanted for him.
I sat up so that I was prone above him and he looked up at my face and reached for my hips. He moved me back and forth and I felt that sweet spot rub against him. Our tempo increased until I felt wave upon wave hit me. I threw my head back in absolute ecstasy and only when he was sure that I was satisfied, Cole allowed himself to give into our dance as well.
Afterwards, I lie in Cole’s arms. I never wanted to leave.
“Are you mad? That we just…you know…”
He laughed. “No, I’m not mad that we just ‘you know’.”
“But before you said you didn’t want to.”
“I wanted to wait initially because it never seems to live up to the hype…until now.”
Chapter Nineteen
We got back to the field before the last hour’s games had concluded. Jack was nowhere to be found so I assumed he had left to grab a bite.
Cole and I returned to our secluded spot at the top of the bleachers. My heart was still soaring from being with him and my body tingled with the memory. I looked at him and licked my lower lip, wanting to be with him again.
His head moved toward mine without thinking. How I wanted to kiss him right there. For a brief moment, we nearly forgot where we were — a public venue where my son could turn up at any moment, and that’s exactly what he did.
I jumped away from Cole so fast that I nearly fell from the bleachers.
“There you two are,” Jack said in his easy way. “You ready to get out of here, Mom? I brought you a latte…it’ll tide you over ’til dinner.”
“Are we going to dinner?” I asked, amused at how he would butter me up with caffeine.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
I turned to Cole. “Thanks for keeping me company.”
“No problem.”
I wished that more could be said, but under the circumstances, it wouldn’t be appropriate.
I accepted my coffee from Jack. “Thanks sweets. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“See you soon, bro,” Jack called out to Cole and just like that, our time was up. He gave me an awkward hug goodbye, a perfunctory move to show Jack that he was cordial, but nothing more. He smelled so good for those five seconds that he held me. How I wanted more.
I drove home with Jack, but couldn’t keep my mind off of Cole. The fact that they were on the same team was complicating issues. I couldn’t shake the thought of being with Cole. He was beyond hot and the way he moved while on the field was pure animal strength. He was about the same height as Jack, but his physique was more muscular, somehow more manly and less boy.
There were other indications of his entry into adulthood — the muscles that broadened his chest, the soft beard that he kept trimmed and accented his strong jawline, the way his eyes had that knowing look of experience. And, the experience he demonstrated earlier in my bedroom.
“Cole’s a good player,” I mentioned casually as Jack and I headed north toward a little town called Camarillo. We had decided on having dinner at an authentic Indian restaurant that made the best chicken tikka masala on the planet.
“Yeah, a good guy, too. I’m glad we were partnered.”
Panic suddenly erupted within me and I wondered why Cole hadn’t mentioned anything. “Partnered? What does that mean?”
“The next wave of training as we prepare for the next tournament,” he said offhandedly as if this was enough explanation.
“What about it?”
“We find someone to pair up with for all of our weekly workouts. The coach wants us to hit the gym as well as our time on the field and he thinks we’re more likely to stick with it if we have a partner. So, Cole and I are going to be spending more time together.”
I digested the information. Part of me thought…Yes! Fantastic! Invite him over every night after the gym. The other part of me thought…this is bad. It’s one thing to be considered a MILF, and I knew that lots of guys had the fantasy of being with one, but I was pretty sure they didn’t want to be with the one that was actually related to a friend.
I took a sip of my Starbucks, but choked on the warm liquid when Jack lobbed the next zinger of conversation at me. “He’s just come out of the closet. I think he’s still adjusting to the new reality.”
“Cole’s gay? How is that possible?” I asked without thinking, and then tried to recover. “I mean, how do you know?” My voice took on an odd, high-pitched tone as I suddenly felt nauseous. They say that sometimes you have to lose something to realize how much you wanted it and I suddenly knew that I wanted Cole with all my soul. This was so much more than an assignment. I was beyond attracted to him — not just his body, but his personality. His kindness and maturity were enough to reel me in; the good looks just made it that much easier.
“He posted a photo on Snapchat of him asking some dude to winter formal.”
Jack pulled the car into the restaurant parking lot and I didn’t waste a second to grab his phone. “Let me see!”
“Hold your horses. Jeez, why are you so interested?”
“I’m not interested,” I said stressing the awkward word that would surely get me in trouble, “I’m just surprised. I find it hard to believe. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay,” I back tracked as Jack handed me his phone. There, in front of me, was a
picture of Cole holding up a handmade poster with the words, “Formal? With me?” drawn on it. The worst part was the caption he typed on top of the image…“He just couldn't say no.”
Oh my god. My stomach dropped and I suddenly had the urge to cry. This couldn’t be true. I basically asked about the possibility of this to Jack. “Could it be a joke?”
“I guess it could be, but Cole has always struck me as…very well-groomed. I don’t know. I guess I’m not surprised, that’s all.”
“What’s wrong with being well-groomed?” He used the exact words that I had spoken earlier to Cole. Again my voice rose in a panic. The picture didn’t mean anything. Unless he was experimenting. Unless he was fighting his real feelings by trying to dissuade them with me. Maybe I was an experiment as well?
“Chill, mom. Can we go inside and have dinner now? Enough with the Snapchat and my friend.”
And there he said it…his friend. This was no longer an assignment for my blog. No longer a distraction from the rejection of my ex-husband. It had gone beyond my personal physical and mental needs. It moved into the realm of my son’s world and I knew that was very dangerous.
Chapter Twenty
I hadn’t slept properly since seeing the Snapchat image. Confusion and concern weighed on my mind. Most importantly, I couldn’t figure out how Cole had gotten under my skin so quickly. He certainly didn’t act gay when we were together, but I couldn’t stop seeing the image of him asking another guy to the dance. I didn’t want to think that I had mis-read Cole, but there was the distinct possibility that he was experimenting and trying to figure out his life.