Semi-Detached Marriage

by Sally Wentworth

  At five Cassie rather blearily made coffee and every-one sat around and talked for a while until three of the last couples left, leaving only John and Julia, Sue and Chris and Tom and herself. It was quite obvious that John wanted to leave, and Sue, too, looked as if she was going to fall asleep any minute, but Julia and Chris were both still full of life and drink, laughing and .making outlandish suggestions about what they should do next.

  'I don't want to go home,' Julia was protesting. 'We ought to do something to make this party really memorable. Something like-oh, I don't know-like driving the wrong way up Oxford Street or flying up to Scotland to see Simon.'

  Her husband grunted scornfully. `You'll only end up in a police station by driving the wrong way along a one-way street, and as for going up to Scotland I've never heard anything so ridiculous!'

  'All right, maybe it is ridiculous!' Julia turned on him in annoyance. 'But at least it's something alive, something exciting. But then what would you know about life or excitement?' she added pettishly. All you ever think about is the office or golf. Anyone would think you were sixty instead of forty!'

  There was a short, awkward silence, the kind there always is when outsiders get involved in a married couple's quarrel. Cassie looked away in embarrassment and saw that Sue was doing the same, but she noticed that Chris was looking openly at Julia with a small, amused smile on his lips. Even as Cassie began to wonder how on earth he could find amusement in someone else's marital scrap, she saw Julia turn her back on John and smile at Chris, a slow, secret smile of knowledge and understanding.

  Cassie drew in her breath sharply, realising all too clearly just who Julia's lover was. A sound of protest came to her lips, but before she could utter it, Tom broke into the silence by saying, `Hey, if we want to keep the party going, how's this for an idea? It's almost six o'clock; why don't we all go to the Savoy and have an early breakfast?'

  Immediately Julia was all excitement again. `Why, yes, that's a wonderful idea. Don't you think so, Chris?'

  `Yes, sounds great,' he agreed. 'How about you, Cassie?'

  For a moment she hesitated, but Cassie had no wish to end the party, to be alone in the empty flat with an uncut birthday cake, so she said with almost as much enthusiasm, `Yes, I'd like to. It will be fun.'

  'I'll need to freshen up first, though,' Julia said, and went off to the bedroom. John followed her and Sue determinedly drew Chris into the kitchen and shut the door, presumably to remonstrate with him if the sound of their raised voices was anything to go by.

  Cassie walked over to the window, feeling suddenly depressed by what she had seen and by Simon's non arrival. She reached up and drew the curtains, letting in the pale sunlight. It was the middle of June now, well into the spring, and it looked as if it was going to be a lovely day. Tom came up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, then turned her slowly to face him.

  'Cassie,' he murmured, his eyes exploring each feature of her face. 'I don't think I've ever seen you look lovelier than at this moment, with the light behind you, creating a halo round your head.'

  His fingers tightened on her shoulders and he drew her slowly towards him. Desire flamed in his eyes and Cassie knew that he was going to kiss her. She was filled, suddenly, with a strong blaze of intense sexual awareness. She knew that she ought to move away, to speak, to do something that would break the spell, but she felt mesmerised and powerless to move, as if all her will-power had drained away. Her lips parted and she lifted her head to meet his.

  CHAPTER SIX

  'Cassie!'

  They both turned, startled, to see Simon standing in the doorway, a look of murderous anger on his face.

  FOR a few seconds Cassie was too paralysed by shock to move. She hadn't heard his key in the door, hadn't beard his steps in the hall. She felt Tom give a jerk of surprise, then he quickly took his hands from her shoulders and turned to face Simon. He started to say something, but Simon was already striding across the room, his hands doubled into tight fists, his mouth set into a snarl of determination and the look of savage rage still in his eyes.

  Realisation of what he was about to do made her gasp with horror, but there was no time to do more than say his name before he was across the room and had grabbed Tom's lapel, raising his other fist to smash it into his face. Tom started to raise his arms in selfdefence, but he had been taken by surprise and wouldn't have stood a chance. Then the bedroom door opened and Julia exclaimed, 'Simon! So you did make it after all? How lovely!'

  A look of total astonishment came into Simon's furious grey eyes and he hesitated for a second, his arm still drawn back, and Torn had time to grab his fist before he could thrust it forward with all the force of his arm.

  'Hi, old buddy. How are you?' Tom pulled his hand down and shook it as Julia came up to greet him followed by her husband. Then Sue and Chris, hearing the noise, came out of the kitchen and everyone seemed to be talking at once.

  Cassie moved away, her legs feeling suddenly weak and trembly. Tom looked at her quickly, but she avoided his eyes. Behind her she could hear Simon saying that he couldn't get down by air so had travelled on the overnight train. They were all commiserating with him on having missed the party and he was agreeing, saying he was sorry he hadn't been able to make it earlier. He sounded so offhand about it that Cassie turned angrily on her heel and walked into the bedroom. Jerking open the wardrobe door, she yanked out a black evening jacket, pulling it out so roughly that the hanger fell off the rail. There was a mirror on the wardrobe door and in it she saw that Simon had followed her into the bedroom. Renewed anger filled her at his casual attitude, of the way he'd gone for Tom for no reason at all.

  He came towards her, his face somewhat guarded.

  'Aren't you even going to say hello to me?'

  Cassie made no move to go to him, instead looked at him coldly and said, 'Hello, Simon. I suppose I ought to wish you many happy returns of yesterday. Only you didn't return yesterday, did you?'

  She went to walk past him, but he caught her arm and stopped her. 'Cassie, wait.'

  With a jerk of her arm she shook off his hand. 'Sorry,' she retorted acidly, 'but I've waited long enough.'

  An exasperated frown drew his brows together. He began to say something, but Cassie ignored him and walked back into the sitting-room. The others were ready to leave and Tom silently took Cassie's jacket from her and held it while she put it on. She didn't look at him and he didn't touch her, but both of them were intensely aware of each other.

  'Where are you off to?' Simon had come into the room and was watching them, the frown still between his eyes.

  'We're rounding off the evening by having breakfast at the Savoy,' Julia told him with a laugh. 'You are going to come with us, aren't you? After all, it was your party.'

  But before Simon could answer, Cassie put in, 'Oh, but you must remember, Julia, that Simon will be tired after his mad rush to try and get here. And if he's hungry,' she added shrewishly, 'he can always eat his birthday cake!'

  She glared across at Simon as she spoke and saw the frown give way to a cold, remote look. She had seen that expression on his face before, but not often; it meant that he had drawn his emotions within himself, was holding them under a tight control until the right moment came to give them full rein, whether they were of love or anger. Only there was no doubt now which one he was feeling.

  'On the contrary,' he answered with cool self-possession, completely ignoring Cassie's sarcasm and the surprised looks it had brought from the others, 'I shall be happy to come with you.'

  'In that case,' Tom said easily, 'I'll be pushing along. I’ll give you a call later this evening.'

  He moved to go towards the door, but Cassie caught his arm. 'No, you must come with us. At least you bothered to come to the party; why should you have to leave before it's completely over?'

  Tom looked slightly taken aback and the others uncomfortable, but Simon immediately said, 'Yes, Tom, you must come with us. We're not going to take no for an ans
wer, especially when we haven't seen each other for so long.'

  So Tom had no choice but to agree, and they all piled into his large car, Cassie working it so that she sat in the back between Chris and John who each had their wives on their knees, while Simon sat in the front with Tom.

  They got to the Savoy about seven, the staff there not even raising an eyebrow at their evening clothes; presumably the mad idea of finishing off a party with breakfast there was commonplace to them. Cassie tried to avoid sitting next to Simon, but his hand went under her elbow and she was almost forced down into a chair. She glared at him, but he merely returned her look with one of cold menace. For the first time she felt the thrill of danger, but was so angry still that she could ignore it. It was a strange kind of anger, one that made her want to hit out at Simon and hurt. It wasn't only because he'd been late for his party, that was really the least part of it, it was also a fury that had grown out of her weeks of loneliness, of lack of love and sex, and in a crazy way it was also anger at herself for that brief flash of sexual awareness with Tom. She hadn't wanted it to happen, and it never would have if Simon hadn't insisted on taking the job in Scotland.

  Strangely enough the meal was a happy one, not marred by marital friction at all, mainly because Julia and Chris were trying to outdo each other as the life and soul of the party, making jokes and puns that drew groans from the others. Poor John had given up all hope of his golf tournament and tried to join in, the bitchy remarks Julia had made earlier obviously having found a mark. Tom turned his attention to Sue, which helped to make up for the fact that her husband was virtually ignoring her, and she, too, began to enjoy herself.

  From the moment that Simon had said he was coming with them he seemed to have taken over, organising the table, insisting they try the more exotic dishes and ordering champagne to drink, which made Julia tell him earnestly, but rather slurrily, that he was a man after her own heart. Cassie drank as much champagne as the others, but she didn't feel at all drunk or maudlin; she talked and laughed, clapped Chris when he did his party piece impression of Winston Churchill, but all the time felt as if her mind was amazingly clear and perceptive, her nerves taut and alert. She felt as if she had never had such control of her mind and emotions before.

  It was gone nine before they left, Simon picking up the bill and refusing all offers to share. Julia was definitely tipsy when they came out and insisted that Chris help her along, putting her arm round him and whispering and giggling in his ear so that Cassie was afraid that she would give herself away and there would be a terrible scene, right there in the foyer of the Savoy.

  But Chris put his free arm round Sue and walked both women, his wife and his mistress, out to the car. Cassie, watching them with this new heightened perceptiveness, saw the sadistically triumphant look in his eyes and knew, suddenly, that he was enjoying himself.

  Enjoying having two attractive women loving him, wanting him, looking on him as the most important person in their lives. He had probably come to the party in the hope that something like this would happen, and was probably even getting pleasure out of making Sue miserable by neglecting her most of the evening, and by making Julia jealous when he did dance with his wife.

  He was behaving badly, had done so in coming to the party at all, but Cassie was more inclined to blame Julia; she had obviously given herself to him so wholeheartedly and humbly that he had begun to think he was God's gift to women and could do as he liked with them.

  Cassie turned away, feeling suddenly revolted, and hurried to the car. She sat in the back as before, leaning back in the seat with her eyes closed, pretending a tiredness that was only physical, not mental. But the others, too, had grown weary and Sue was asleep on her husband's lap. Julia was awake, but quiet, and Cassie wondered if she, too, had seen that gleam of triumph in Chris's eyes.

  The streets were busier now and Cassie was worried about John driving home.

  'Stay here and get some rest for a few hours,' she urged him when they arrived back at the flat and he went to get in his car.

  'No, no, I'm all right. I didn't have that much to drink, you know. And we've got to get back for the kids. Thanks for the party.' He bent to peck her check, then said awkwardly, 'Don't mean to interfere, Cass, but don't be too hard on old Simon, he would have made it if he could, you know.'

  Cassie looked at him with a mixture of exasperation and pity. How men stuck together! Here was John trying to keep her from having a fight with Simon when his own marriage was disintegrating around his head and he didn't even know it!

  They said goodbye to the others and waved them out of sight, then Cassie turned and walked quickly back up to the flat without even looking to see if Simon was following her. Once inside, she ignored the debris of the party and went straight into the bedroom to take off her jacket and throw it on a chair. Then she crossed in the bed, took her nightdress from under the pillow and made for the bathroom.

  Simon came into the room, saw what she was doing and immediately barred her way.

  'I want to talk to you,' he told her, his mouth set into a grim line.

  'Well, I don't want to talk to you. I'm tired and I'm going to bed.'

  'And you don't want to undress in front of me so you're going into the bathroom to change, is that it?'

  'Yes, that's exactly it,' Cassie agreed, and went to move round him, but he swiftly stepped in front of her and grabbed her arms. 'Oh, no, you don't, we've got some talking to do first.'

  'I've already told you that I've got nothing to say to you. Besides,' she added nastily, 'I wonder you've got the time to stop and talk. Surely you want to rush back to your beloved job.'

  The grip on her arms tightened suddenly, but Simon merely said coldly, 'It isn't my job that's keeping us apart, Cassie, it's yours.'

  She laughed jeeringly. 'Oh, that's right, put the blame on me! That's a typical male get out when they know they're in the wrong.'

  Anger flamed in his eyes as he retorted, 'All right, so I didn't make the party and I'm sorry, but I tried, believe me I tried.'

  'Oh, don't apologise to me,' Cassie parried, her voice as angry as his. 'Why don't you apologise to all the friends who took the trouble to come and bring you presents?' she said, remembering the pile of gaily- wrapped parcels that were waiting for him on a table in the sitting room. 'After all,' she added bitterly, 'what the hell do I matter? I'm just the one who has to sit at home while you have a lovely time playing the power game in Scotland!'

  Simon's jaw thrust forward angrily, and his eyes narrowed. 'All right, Cassie. You're obviously spoiling for a fight, so let's get it over.'

  Furious words bubbled in her brain, words that would tell him of her loneliness and need, but in them lay only self-pity, so instead she went off at a tangent and bit out sarcastically, 'Oh, no, it isn't me who wants to fight. You were the one who…' she sought wildly for a descriptive enough word, 'who came rampaging in here and tried to knock Tom down. Is that the way you normally greet your old friends?'

  A muscle jerked in his cheek and Simon's fingers bit into her arms, making her wince. 'That was sheer gut reaction. I walked in and saw you, apparently alone in the flat with another man. He had his arms round you and looked as if he'd been kissing you. How the hell did you expect me to react? And just what was he doing with his arms round you, anyway?'

  Cassie's heart began to beat faster, she felt again an overwhelming urge to hurt him; a combination of anger, fatigue, too much drink, and nervous tension over a long period. Without giving herself time to think, she glared up at him and retorted, 'Maybe he was trying to comfort me in your absence.'

  'What's that supposed to mean?' Simon demanded, a dangerous note in his voice now.

  'Mean?' Cassie knew she had touched a raw spot and pushed the knife in. 'Why, nothing. But there again it could mean that I've been seeing a lot of Tom while you've been playing God in Scotland. It could mean that he had to take your place as host at the party so why the hell shouldn't he take your place in my bed?'<
br />
  Immediately she'd said it, Cassie knew that she'd gone too far. Simon's eyes grew dark with murderous rage and she cried out with pain as his fingers dug into her flesh. For a moment she thought that he was going to lose control of himself and strike her. But then, his voice savage, he demanded through gritted teeth, 'Are you having an affair with him? Are you?' As he bit the questions out his emotion was so strong that he shook her, her whole body swaying with the force of it.

  Cassie stared up at him, wanting to go on hurting but afraid now, afraid of the scarcely controlled fury in his face and the strength of his hands that gripped her so violently. If she pushed him too far and he lost that fragile control. Turning her head away, she said,

  'No. No, I'm not.'

  Slowly the grip on her arms eased, relaxed. She looked up at Simon and saw that his eyes were still hard but they had lost their violence. She gave an inner sigh of relief, knowing that she was safe again, but her ungovernable temper made her add defiantly, 'Although it would serve you damn well right if I was. And anyway, I hardly expect that you've been leading a celibate life up there. You're no monk, Simon. I'm sure that you've found at least one girl to have sex with.'

  'That isn't true and you know it!'

  'No? I saw the way that hostess on the plane looked at you. It wouldn't surprise me if…'

  'Cassie, stop it!' His harsh voice ripped through her accusation as he moved his hands up to put them on either side of her face. 'Do you really believe what you're saying? Do you?'

  His grey eyes stared down into hers, steady and unblinking. There was a white, set look to his mouth, the mouth that had kissed her and murmured endearments so many times. Anger gave way to pain and she closed her eyes, shutting out his face.

  'No.'

  'All right, then let's talk this through sensibly, shall we?' Slowly he drew his hands away and put them down at his sides, stood looking at her grimly. 'If you don't believe that I'm being unfaithful then why say it?' he demanded.