by Lena Skye
“They took it all in stride when I explained to the manager what was going on after. He thought it was hilarious. Just for fun, I might do it again...” Kenneth joked mischievously, squinting his eye and rubbing his chin as if he was hatching some evil master plan. His facial expressions could always make me giggle.
I shook my head and took a sip of my drink. I looked at him and I felt the chemistry begin to brew between us. It’s always been strong. I feel a sizzle with other men but he and I are always like an inferno. My eyes went to his lips and I thought about how good they always felt against my skin. The things that he could do with his mouth were enough to make a woman’s knees buckle.
“We had a lot of fun together didn’t we?” I asked.
“We had the most fun. Not a lot of women could put up with how silly I am, and so I was always able to let loose with you.”
“Well.. You keep me laughing, that is important in a relationship. Who wants to be with someone that they can’t laugh with?”
We both got quiet as we entered our own thoughts and I realized what I was saying out loud when really I should be keeping my cards close to my chest. My thoughts drifted to Joshua, he was sweet but he took himself pretty seriously. Kenneth and I would pop in a comedy DVD and laugh and drink all night. Joshua likes to watch political movies and have serious intense discussions about it afterward. It’s not that I mind, it’s just not what I prefer.
It didn’t take us much time to order our drinks and food because we stuck to the same things. It was nice to see that he still hadn’t changed much since we dated. We had a great conversation and were catching up on each others careers and family life. We were ignoring the big elephant in the room. We still hadn’t spoke about what he wanted to talk about but I didn't mind I was enjoying the moment.
After finishing up our meal and drinking another cocktail I asked.
“Does Amelia know that you’re out with me?”
He countered my question with, “Does Joshua know that you’re out with me?”
He had a point. We both didn’t let our significant others know that we were having dinner together. I didn’t tell Joshua about this meeting because I didn’t want him freaking out and I also didn’t have a clue as to why Kenneth wanted to meet. At least that’s what I told myself. I wasn’t ready to deal with any other explanation.
“You’re right,” I admitted. I didn’t tell Joshua, it’s because I had no idea what to expect, and I didn’t want to answer a million and one questions after this dinner is over. So tell me, why are we here?” I asked.
“Fair enough,” he said as he took a deep breath. “You were gracious enough to let me know ahead of time that you were going to date Joshua. I felt like a jerk after that because I didn’t do the same for you when I started dating Amelia. I completely disrespected everything we had by making a move like that.”
I was rendered speechless; he was giving me a genuine apology. Hell must have frozen over.
“I know that you like to think the worst about me Nikki, but please believe me when I tell you that I haven’t done many of the things that you think. I do admit that I’ve given you reason to feel the way that you do and that part is my fault.”
I smacked my lips in response. Everyone knows that Kenneth is a massive flirt and I’ve seen text messages between him and certain women. I wasn’t in the mood to hear him try to defend himself because that would just lead to an argument.
“Please, let us not go there today,” I said, “I do accept your apology for Amelia, so thank you for that. It’s nice to hear you say those words. Why couldn’t you learn how to apologize like this when we were together, instead of running away?”
“I really wasn’t ready for a relationship at least not a romantic one. I didn’t understand how much my flirting was hurting you until it was too late.”
“So all you were doing was flirting?” I said
“Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you for years. I’m not saying that it’s right but I’ve never cheated on you. I would never do that to you. Have you ever found evidence to prove that I have?
“No,” I admitted hesitantly. “But the flirting was enough to make me suspicious. Usually those are good indicators that a person is cheating and you were doing it with people from our circle. It is disrespectful to me.”
“I’ll tell you again and I’ll tell you again a thousand times. I’ve never cheated on you,” he said making sure that he over enunciated the word ‘never.’ “And I was not flirting, it's just networking!”
I shrugged, “So is that what we’re here for? You wanted to apologize to me?”
“Not exactly,” he said, “I also wanted to apologize for pursuing you even though you’re with my best friend. I realized that it’s wrong on so many different levels. Joshua would have never done me that way and so I’ve decided to respect your relationship.”
“Oh really?” I asked in disbelief.
“Yes really,” he laughed. “Contrary to your belief, I have morals. The both of you seem so damned happy; Joshua can’t stop talking about you. He deserves to be happy and so do you, especially after everything that I put you through.”
I stared at him, unsure of what to say. It was great to see him reach a new level of maturity and to see that he finally accepted my relationship with Josh. But why was I so disappointed? I felt like he was giving up on us. His words felt final but I had to keep my poker face straight.
“Well that is good, I am glad you have seen sense.”. I said back.
“Also,” he went on, “The reason that I took you to dinner is because I wanted you to be the first to know my future plans. I don’t want you to hear it from anyone else, which is why I’m telling you first.”
“Okay,” I said warily.
“I’m going to ask Amelia to marry me.”
My entire body tensed and I felt my body shake as if it had experienced an earthquake. I quickly got control of my faculties and placed an indifferent look on face. Keep that poker face straight Nicole!
“Well, I didn’t see that coming. I will admit that it’s surprising but congratulations. I am happy and excited for you.” I said in a voice calmer than I really felt.
“Thank you,” he said as he stared at me intently. It looked like he was trying to gauge my response but he could not see through my poker face. I don’t know what he expected from me. I guess I was supposed to flip the tables over like I was a real housewife of Atlanta. He had clearly made his choice and it wasn’t me. It hurt like hell that Amelia was getting the man that I loved and that I was meant to be with. Maybe Amelia was right in what she said?
My thoughts startled me. I returned his gaze and gave a slight smile.
“I don’t really have much to say outside out of that. I didn’t know that the two of you were so close but I hope that the both of you are really happy together.”
“Well that was easier than I expected,” he said. “So you don’t have any objections?” he asked.
“If I did, would it even matter? I’m with Joshua and so I have no right to tell you what to do with your life. You’re marrying Amelia, and there is nothing that I can or should do about it.”
“Well that’s only if she says yes,” he said.
“Oh she’ll say yes,” I laughed, “She’ll be thrilled, it’s probably her dream come true.” Her words were fresh in my mind from our encounter at the café. I wrote her off as being delusional but she obviously knew him better than I did.
“I guess time will tell,” he said as he sat back from the table.
I felt the intense need to remove myself from this situation. I needed to go home and have a good cry. I wanted to get acquainted with a bottle of Merlot and just not think for a few hours.
“Now that we’ve taken care of that, we can adjourn this meeting,” I said with more sarcasm than I meant. “Should I pay for my half of the meal?” I asked.
He looked at me as if I’d grown another head.
“Now you know tha
t you never have to pay for anything while I’m around. That’s if I’m with Amelia or not. You’re my friend before anything else, and never forget that.”
We’ve been reduced to friends. I was officially in the friend zone with him and I didn’t know if I would ever be able to fully accept that reality. He and I were not friends; we were so much more than friends. Now being his friend was my only option because I would never pursue an engaged or married man.
I got to my feet unexpectedly, straightened my dress and my posture and held my head high.
“Thank you so much for dinner; it’s time for me to leave because Joshua is expecting me soon.”
He was about to rise to his feet but I stopped him.
“Please no, there’s no need for that. Bye Kenneth,” I said as I grabbed my clutch and turned to head out of the door. He was in mid sentence but I didn’t stick around to hear what he had to say. I knew that the tears would start flowing at any minute and I couldn’t run the risk of him seeing them.
A woman can only keep up a poker face for so long.
#Chapter8
“Stay calm Nikki, don’t flip out”
Nicole
The following two weeks have all been gray and not the 50 shades kind either.
I haven’t had much contact with Kenneth since that night; he has fallen off of the radar. I’ve asked about him but no one but his clients have seen him. It’s a little suspicious because he loves the spotlight and he loves to network. Kenneth can work a crowd and that’s because he’s had an abundance of practice. I guess he is happy and busy with that bitch Amelia.
Joshua and I have been going strong, well stronger, and I’ve been doing my best to deal with his insecurities head on and to let him know that they’re bothering me. He has been trying to get a lot better with the texting all day and he’s being a lot more flexible with my schedule. I think he sees that I don’t respond well to that type of behavior. But overall, he treats me like a queen and so I guess I really can’t ask for anything more.
Everything has been going pretty well but I feel like there is a cloud over my head that won’t go away. My dinner with Kenneth completely ruined my mood and I was trying to come to terms with the fact that he and Amelia would be jumping the broom at any moment. I hadn’t heard the announcement yet which means that he hasn’t done it yet. The wait has been the worst part and I can’t wait for it to be over with.
I spoke with my girls about the situation the day after Kenneth and I had dinner. Patrice claims that he was just testing me to see what I would say and Jasmine was incensed. She couldn’t believe that he was about to propose to ‘that bitch.’ I had to agree with her stance on the situation because I couldn’t believe it either. Who in the hell would want to marry such a scandalous woman.
I wanted to write them both off and say that they both deserved each other but I just couldn’t do it. I know that Kenneth deserves better than her. I’ve been spending more time thinking about his claim that he never cheated and I had to admit that he was right. I never had concrete evidence that he cheated. No woman had ever come forth and said that she’d been with him and usually the women that he texted completely denied it. I always figured that they were lying for him but what if he was telling the truth? What if it was me being insecure that messed up our whole relationship?
There still wasn’t any excuse for his flirting but he apologized for that and I meant it when I said that I forgave him. If he never cheated on me then that would mean that I was still supposed to be with him. I shook those thoughts out of my head and tried to erase them from my heart. It wasn’t working and he’d been on my mind more than ever.
Tonight was another date night for me and Joshua. I wasn’t in a going out mood so we both settled for cooking dinner and staying in. I was going over to his house tonight and so I had to make sure that my overnight bag was properly packed. I hate being without my toiletries in the morning. Nothing worse than not being able to brush your teeth or comb your hair after a roll in the hay. That’s when you have to do the walk of shame to your car, and everyone knows. Well maybe not everyone but a lot of them are thinking it.
“Baby will you open up that bottle of wine while I make our plates,” Joshua asked.
He was always such a gentleman. I have to admit that he did most of the cooking tonight. I know that southern women should love to cook for their man but that just wasn’t something that I enjoyed doing. I had to learn because my granny made me learn but if I don’t have to then I won’t.
“How are you going to eat?” my grandmother would ask me.
“I’ll make enough money so that I won’t have to cook,” I would respond.
She would give me a disappointed looked and then continue her unasked for lesson on how to cook a dish. Those were some of the best times that I had with grandmother. Although I still hate to cook, I’m blessed to have those memories with her. She was probably judging me from heaven right now. She would be so upset to know that a man was cooking for me and not the other way around. I could hear her scolding me for being ‘too independent’.
“You are a part of the new breed of girls that are coming up. I don’t know how you’re going to get or keep a man.” she would say.
What granny didn’t see coming was that there was a new breed of men that were coming up too. I was grateful for that because she may have been right otherwise. “Take that grandma,’ I thought as I stuck out my tongue till I realized Josh was looking at me.
“What are you sticking your tongue out for?” Joshua asked with a laugh.
“Oh nothing, just thinking about my grandmother. If she could see us now she would have a whole lot to say, especially since you did most of the cooking tonight.”
“Well cooking for you is one of the many things that I enjoy. She may have a lot to say at first but once she saw how much I cared about you, I think I would put most of her reservations at rest,” he said as he sat both of our plates on the immaculately set table.
I lit both of the candles that we placed on the table and took my seat.
“You may be on to something; I think that she really just wanted me to be happy. She didn’t see that happening for me since I didn’t enjoy cooking. She would probably be pleasantly surprised if she saw us now.”
“See, I know a thing or two,” he said before he kissed me on the cheek and poured us both a glass of Merlot.
He cooked the most delicious Chicken Florentine with sautéed vegetables and wild rice. I was in heaven as I took a bite of each individual item on my plate.
“Who taught you how to cook like this?” I said as I closed my eyes and took another bite.
“My mom taught me how,” he said, “She was a chef before she decided to settle down and take care of me and my siblings.”
“Well that woman needs to be back in a commercial kitchen so that she can bless the masses.”
“I agree, and I’ve told her that but she seems satisfied hosting her bi-weekly dinner parties for her and my father’s friends. You’ll have to come over with me one day.”
“Are you asking me to meet your parents?”
“I’m asking you if you’re willing to meet my parents. They’ve heard so much about you and they would be thrilled to put the face to the name.”
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for such a large step but this is what he and I should be doing at this stage in our relationship. He sensed my hesitation.
“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I don’t want to pressure you into anything that you’re not ready for.”
“No, it’s not that. I just get so antsy when I have to meet parents. It’s such a big deal, you know?”
“I know, but my parents would love you. They would be happy that I have someone to ‘put me in my place,” he laughed.
“Now is that what you really need, A woman to put you in your place? You seem so mild mannered Mr. Crocker.”
“Yes I can be. But we both know that I have moments of where I act a little crazy. I like t
hat you aren’t afraid to call me out on it. Because of that I can work on my issue.”
“Overall, you’re just fine.”
“Is that so?” he asked.
The way in which he asked let me know that there was an underlying meaning behind his words. I wasn’t sure how to respond to his inquiry. So I decided to face it head on.
“What do you mean by that?”
“What I mean is, if you’re so happy with me. Why did you decide to go out on a date with Kenneth a couple of weeks ago?”
I dropped my fork at his question. I was frozen in my chair because I didn’t know how to respond. All of a sudden my mouth had gotten really dry and I took a much needed sip of my wine.