Sweet Cheeks (Heartbreaker)

by J. Dorothy

  Not yet.

  Not until I'm under those covers.

  I open the door and close it quietly so I don't disturb Cam and Bailey. I only hope they are too preoccupied with each other today. Tanning has obviously gone out, so I should be right. Yeah. I'm right. Right to deal with this on my own. Like I did all those years ago. My bedroom and my bed was my haven back then, and I need that comfort right now. I kick off my shoes and strip down to my panties and tank top, then I crawl under my covers and curl into the tightest ball I can. The sob comes from deep down, from the place I don't usually acknowledge, but today I can't stop it. It takes over as I rock back and forth, cradling Treasure Pot, my sobs filling the room.

  I don't hear the door open, I'm too far gone. The warm body that wraps around me and holds me tight, feels nice, so I don't push it away. I just cling on for dear life as I let it all go.

  The first thing I hear is deep breathing. The first thing I smell is a familiar cologne, with a pine scent. Tanning. Then I realize I'm not only hearing and smelling him, I'm all cuddled up to him. My head is resting on his beautiful chest, his arms are wrapped around me and our legs are tangled together. He is so warm, and I kind of feel like I'm in heaven right now. I've had this fantasy since meeting him. He took Cam's place after those first few lustful minutes. For a couple of lovely seconds I breathe him in and relish the moment, then reality slams into me as I remember what lead me to being here.and the reason why Tanning is probably here.

  Pity.

  Shit. I hate pity. It reminds me too much of Jason and his spiteful comments. How I was such a weak useless girl who had no backbone and would cry all the time. I hate that girl and I can't believe I let her out around Tanning. Double shit, he probably thinks I'm all heartbroken over him. Well I kind of was, but not so broken that I couldn't hold it together. I don't want him feeling sorry for me, that would be the absolute worst.

  How to get out of this situation with my dignity intact?

  Okay. Think Jen. Where did you say you were going? The salon. So my hair could have been a disaster. Yeah, girls might cry over that. Not believable enough. Okay, what about, I ran into someone who upset me. Well that's kind of the truth. Except I don't want to tell Tanning about Jason.

  So who else would get me all riled up?

  Got it. Travis.

  Not that I expect to see his sorry ass again, but Tanning doesn't know that. I could say he's back in town for a few days and wants to talk about the baby. That would make sense and be believable. I'd be more pissed than a sobbing mess if that ever happened, but Tanning won't realize that. Needs to know basis. This little white lie could actually work.

  I stir and wiggle my arm free from Tanning's warm waist. I don't want to move it, his t-shirt has ridden up a little and I actually had my hands on his flesh, not something I want to let go of easily. I roll onto my back and gently pry my other arm from under him, next I'll have to untwist my legs. This goes against my very nature to leave his strong hold on me. I have to stop those thoughts, before I start to let my imagination roam free to where things could lead. Tanning has made it clear what his feelings are, and I can't hook up with him for one night. It would never be enough. If I let that happen I'd be in too deep and could never swim out.

  I manage to get both arms free and carefully roll to the side trying to untangle my legs at the same time. I spy my blue sundress hanging over the back of the chair and decide I'll slip that on while Tanning is still asleep. I have no idea what time it is, it must be late afternoon. I guess Tanning is catching up from last night, and I want to let him sleep. He's had enough drama.

  I'm just about to inch my left leg away, when Tanning opens his eyes and looks at me. Crap. He looks wide awake. How can people do that? It takes me at least a couple of minutes to focus on my surroundings. I decide to play it cool, even though my heart is racing again, seeing him in my bed, looking so hot with his eyes locked on mine.

  “Hey there, friend,” I say with a smile.

  He smiles back. “Hey.”

  Well that's a good start. “Um ... sorry,” I say and cringe a little for effect.

  He reaches across and tucks the hair hanging over my eyes behind my ear. I wish he'd stop doing nice things like that.

  “You okay,” he asks and trails his finger down my cheek.

  Holy crap that feels unbelievable. I need him to stop, I can't cope with all this tenderness. So I grab hold of his hand and squeeze it tight. “Yeah. I'm good ... now.” I give a heavy sigh. “I ah, ran into someone and it didn't go well. Kind of messed with me a bit.”

  He frowns.

  Oh, so he does think this was all about him. Interesting.

  “Who?” he asks.

  “Travis.” And I don't bat an eyelid at that bold faced lie.

  He looks away for a moment and rubs at his forehead. “Right. The father.”

  “Yeah. Except he doesn't exactly deserve the title.” Now I'm not lying.

  Tanning leans up on his elbow and pulls me to him. I know I shouldn't, but I'm going to treat this as one last hurrah. You can't blame a girl. I mean those arms, those eyes, that body. Absolutely no one in their right mind would blame me.

  I take the gesture as it is, and snuggle back into his chest, while he strokes my hair. I could live here as long as someone gave me some food and water occasionally. And I probably wouldn't need much of that.

  “So, what did he say?” Tanning whispers in my ear, while I'm leaning on his chest.

  “Um ... not much. Just wanted to know about the baby.”

  “And?”

  I blow out a big breath. I really hate lying to him. I don't have much choice now I've laid the foundation. Funny I've never had trouble lying before. Tanning makes me feel guilty for some reason and it stabs me in the gut.

  “He wants to be involved.”

  “And that makes you upset?”

  Hell yes, it would make me upset, if it was true. Thank god, Travis is a no good, loser who only cares about himself. I bet he's left a trail of his genes across the States. I'm positive I'm not the only girl he's got drunk with and had unprotected sex with.

  “Um ... well yeah. He's not exactly a good role model or anything. And I couldn't imagine leaving Treasure Pot with him, he's not real reliable and trust worthy.”

  Tanning sighs and keeps stroking my hair and I snuggle further into his chest. “What about your parents? What do they say?”

  Now that is a sore point, and I sit up, crossing my legs, while my whole body tenses. “They don't say anything. They've basically disowned me. Soon as I told them I was keeping the baby they stopped talking to me.”

  Tanning sits behind me and puts his head on my shoulder. “For real.”

  I turn to look at him. “For real.”

  Our lips are close and my breath hitches as my eyes trail down his face. I remember the feel of those gorgeous lips on mine and I can hardly breathe again.

  No! A voice screams.

  It's the voice of reason and this time I listen. I pull away quick and slide to the edge of the bed getting far away from Tanning. I jump up and slip on my dress, then turn to him.

  “You want something to eat?”

  He's looking down and tracing the pattern of my quilt with his finger. I figure he's trying to be a gentleman. I hate gentlemen. I want him to devour me with those eyes and desire what he sees. That ain't happening. That is a fantasy.

  “Well?” I ask, with a bit of sass, my hand on my hip and all.

  He finally looks at me and winks. “Yeah, why not. But why don't I take you out? Not a date or anything, just friends.”

  Oh crap, yes, well, that sounds like the best offer I'll ever receive from him. I'm obviously not date worthy. Smile Jen. So I do. Though my stomach is tied in knots and it hurts my face muscles.

  “Yeah, why don't we. I could use a friend to take me out. No strings, might be a nice change.”

  Alright so I can't help the sarcasm, it's just as natural as drinking water.

&n
bsp; Tanning arches a brow, but doesn't make any other comments, as we collect purses, wallets and cells, before heading out into the evening light.

  eLeVeN

  _______________________________

  Uh-oh.

  Not here. I don't want to eat here. Well, that’s not quite true. I do. I have since I was a dreamy ten year old. But not with Tanning. Well, alright. Yes with Tanning. Tanning is exactly the person I want to have dinner here with, but not tonight. Not as friends. I never wanted to come to this place with a friend. That was not in the plan.

  “You want to eat here?” I ask Tanning, as he parks outside the cutest restaurant in the world.

  It's so sweet and perfect. An old converted farmhouse with twinkle lights all around the massive porch, all the tables paired for two, with huge white cane chairs, where you can snuggle up while sipping your cocktails, and look over the lush gardens surrounding the property. And the food is gourmet, five star all the way.

  “Yeah. I know the owner. Have you been before?”

  I shake my head and swallow. I have been here, when I was little, and I vowed I would never come back, until I met that one special person. The plan was to be proposed to in this spot, well, to be exact, in the right hand corner of the back porch, near the little waterfall and pond. And the guy, well he would be rich, hot, and successful, and one I dated and fell in love with when we went to the same college.

  Scratch another one off the checklist JJ.

  Stupid checklist.

  Tanning grins at me, and he is so adorable. He looks so excited. “You'll love it. They make great fruity non alcoholic cocktails, I used to have them as a kid.”

  The fake smile comes out to play, and I grab my purse and go to open my door, but Tanning beats me to it, helping me out of the car. Grrr, I wish he was less of a gentleman, that would make this a whole lot easier.

  “Why thank you kind sir,” I say all southern belle. Pulling off the accent perfectly.

  Tanning grins at me some more and takes my hand leading me up the front steps to the entrance. I spy the gorgeous spiral staircase. The top rooms are for bed and breakfast, a lot of newly married couples come here for their first night after the wedding.

  The foyer is all polished boards with white panels halfway up the walls and painted sunflower yellow. It's so pretty. I'd love my kitchen to be like this, all bright and cheery. A young guy comes out to greet us, dressed in a crisp white uniform.

  “Tanning, hey man,” the guy says and shakes Tanning's hand. I smile at him and he gives me a big smile back. He's cute in a Justin Bieber kind of way, and I can't help my flirty nature.

  “And who is this?” he asks, his big brown eyes raking over my body. Me being pregnant obviously doesn't faze this guy. I mean even though my stomach is swollen out like a balloon, I still have nice legs, and my boobs are rocking hot in this tight little sundress. Makes me feel good, to think I can still be desired, even if Tanning doesn't want me.

  Tanning grips my hand tighter and pulls me a little closer. That's kind of cool and very unfriend like.

  “This is Jen,” he says and doesn't elaborate. “Can we have a table out back, near the waterfall?”

  Shit. Not the waterfall. Jeez, can't I just have one fantasy come true for once.

  The guy finishes checking me out and then goes to his booking sheet. “Yeah, sure, we aren't real busy tonight, no one's reserved that table.”

  Odd, it's a Saturday night and looks like there a few people already seated, with more cars pulling up outside.

  The guy grabs a couple of menus and gestures for us to follow him through the restaurant and out to the back porch, heading straight for the little corner I'd picked out about a million years ago when I came here for that wedding when I was ten, and it's been my dream spot ever since. Apparently that's another dream about to be crushed.

  The guy goes to pull out my chair, but Tanning beats him to it, and gives him a stern, hands off, kind of look. Interesting. Not sure if he thinks he's being all brotherly protective, like Cam, or if he's actually jealous. I smile flirtatiously at the guy as he hands me the menu.

  “This is a beautiful place. I've always admired it when I’ve driven past,” I say, as I slide into my chair.

  He inches a bit closer. “Well, you'd be welcome anytime. I can have any table reserved for pretty guests like you.”

  His eyes are twinkling with glee, and I'm kind of loving the attention. “Well, isn't that nice. I might just come here more often.”

  “Drinks. We'd like to order drinks,” Tanning cuts in sharply.

  “Of course, what would you like?” the guy says, but doesn't take his eyes off of me.

  Tanning orders the drinks without asking what I'd like, and the guy gives me one last big grin before he disappears.

  I watch him go. Can’t help it, he has a nice ass.

  “What the hell, Jen?”

  I look back to see Tanning frowning again. Oh, so we're back to that. He hasn't looked at me like that for a few days.

  “What?” I ask, acting all innocent.

  “Maybe I should go wait tables and you can have dinner with Dave.”

  “Dave?”

  “The waiter.”

  “Oh, right. Um ... why do you say that?”

  “You were flirting with him.”

  I shrug. “He's hot, I'm single. Why not? He doesn't seem to have a problem with me being ...”

  I bite my lip so I don't finish that sentence.

  “Being what? Pregnant?” Tanning says, glaring at me.

  I cross my arms. I'm so sick of his high and mighty ways.

  “Yes, Tanning, being pregnant doesn't make me a nun. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. And I don't want Treasure Pot to miss out on having a dad.”

  “What about Travis? I thought you said he wanted to be involved?”

  Shit. I knew that'd come back to bite me.

  I fidget with the cute little ceramic salt and pepper shakers, shaped like doves. “Yeah well, Travis is a bit of an unknown quantity, what he says, and what he does, are totally different.”

  Tanning taps his fingers on the table, flicking his gaze around, before he settles back on me. “So ... do you want him back?”

  Hell no! Not in a million, billion, gazillion years.

  “Um ... can we talk about something else? I thought you were going to cheer me up.”

  Tanning sighs long and hard, then picks up the menu and runs his eyes over it. “Do you like steak?”

  I grin. “I love it.”

  Tanning grins back. Good, now I've got the Tanning I love. Love? What? I don't love him. Well I mean I could grow to love him. He's smart, he's kind, he doesn't put up with my crap. He'd make an awesome dad and he's hot as hell. He drives my lust filled brain crazy. I look over to the beautiful gardens to get my wandering thoughts off all the ways I love Tanning. Jeez, scratch that, could love Tanning. Could …

  “They have the best steak around. I'll order it for us.”

  Dave turns up again in record time and puts a rainbow colored drink in front of me, with a straw, an umbrella, and a cherry with sugar round the rim. Wow, he’s gone all out.

  “That looks great, thanks,” I say and give a small smile, trying not to annoy Tanning again.

  He's being nice, so I should probably play nice too.

  “Anything for a beautiful lady,” Dave says and winks at me.

  I smile a little and glance at Tanning under hooded lids, while I take a sip. Dave keeps standing there, like he's waiting for my approval.

  “Yummy,” I say, and dart my tongue out to lick the sugar from my lips.

  Dave's eyes immediately widen and Tanning shoves the menus into his hands, “Two steaks, and that'll be all,” he says sharply.

  Whoops, probably shouldn’t have done that, but it was an honest mistake. I really had sugar on my lips.

  Dave swallows hard, then leaves, while Tanning crosses his arms and leans back, saying, “You really are a whole world of tr
ouble, you know that.”

  I take another sip, then smack my lips together, ignoring his comment. “It is good. You want to try it?”

  Tanning narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “No. I believe you.”

  I shrug again and put down my drink. “Your loss.”

  Tanning leans forward a little. “So ... if we're not talking about your future plans, you want to reminisce a bit?”

  I did too much of that today, but I'm not about to tell him. I suppress the shiver that snakes down my spine, thinking about Jason.

  “Sure. Talking about old times is always a hoot.”

  “Not for me.”

  Oh crap, that's right, High School was hell for him. Maybe the weather might be a better topic. I look up to the brewing thunder clouds ... hmmm. Maybe not. Could be an omen of sorts

  I try to think of something else, when he says, “Do you remember that day in Senior High when you kissed me?”

  I twist my lips. I do. It was definitely one of the best kisses I ever had.

  “Yeah, I remember. But I already told you I'm sorry I was such a bitch. What more do you want me to say?”

  “Do you know what I was thinking the whole two hours I was left tied to those football posts?”

  Crap. Now I feel really bad. At the time I thought it was hilarious. What the hell was wrong with me?

  I play with the straw in my drink, not sure I can look at him.

  He leans further forward and trails his finger along my hand. “I was thinking … that despite being beaten up and humiliated ... it was totally worth it.”

  Oh Dear God. There it is again. My racing heartbeat. This guy has got full control over my emotions, with mere words and a mere touch, he can set me from frosty to scorching heat in milliseconds.