His lips came together and the dark eyebrows twisted more fiercely but he allowed her to continue without interrupting.
‘How did you feel when you were wrenched thousands of miles away from this house and your life without having any say in the matter? Don’t you see? I would be doing exactly the same thing to Dan as your father did to you. And that is just not fair to Dan.’
Seb inhaled a deep breath and tilted his head, but his smile had faded.
‘So you want to stay here and settle for a life without passion in it? Is that right? Have I understood correctly?’
‘Of course I would love to travel and work but this has to be my decision!’
He shook his head. ‘You’re forgetting something. I may only have met you a few days ago but I know you, Ella Bailey. I know the girl who played the piano at Sandrine’s the other night. I saw the way you loved the music more than the people around you. You were born with a passion for music and performing. Not settling for some comfortable life. Don’t you see? You have made this house and this life a nice safe cage. A fantasy life complete with a child and a pretend family of friends and neighbours.’
She tried to move away but he held her firmly in his arms before going on.
‘You can try and deny it as much as you like, but you are the one who asked for the truth. Remember? Well, I’ll give you the truth.’
He reached forwards and lifted up her charm necklace with one finger.
‘As far as I can tell you have used that wedding ring and your child as a barrier to any form of relationship with any other man after Christobal. That wedding ring screams out, “Look at me, the poor single mother, and the poor young widow!” Well, I’ve seen through that charade, Ella, and I’m telling you that you have just as much passion inside of you as you ever had!’
His voice softened.
‘You can do anything you want. If you want to stay as a cocktail pianist, watching other people having fun from your place in the background, then fine! Do it! But if you want to take back the life you deserve for yourself and find the kind of happiness where you are the one out front on the stage—then you are going to have to learn to trust yourself.’
‘What do you mean?’ she asked hesitantly. ‘Trust myself?’
‘I watched you tonight at the jazz concert. Chatting to the other musicians and improvising on the piano just for fun. You have such a wonderful talent, Ella. Even I can see that. You were meant to be out there on a stage! Singing! Playing! Living the music—and trusting yourself to be wonderful. Because you are wonderful. You are beautiful. Talented. A joy. And the world should have a chance to see that for themselves.’
‘You think I’m good?’
‘I think you’re better than good.’
He smiled and flicked his finger under her nose. ‘And now you are fishing for compliments. I take that as a good sign.’
Seb’s arms wrapped around her, snuggling her closer, his hands running up and down her back, his long fingers finding every sensitive spot.
‘Will you do it? Will you take the risk? All I want is a chance to prove how much you mean to me.’
Her head lifted long enough for him to smile back at her before collapsing down against Seb’s shoulder.
‘I am scared. It has been such a long time.’
‘I know you are. And not just about performing in public.’
He played with a strand of her hair as his cheek moved against her head.
‘Sorry I raised my voice. Strange how my bad temper only surfaces when it comes to people I care about. I do care, Ella. I care very deeply. And, yes, I heard what you said. Would moving to Sydney with me be so very terrible? I’ll buy us a real house with a garden where Dan can have as many dogs as he wants, right next to the beach. I have a great life there and it would be wonderful to share it with the two of you.’
‘This is all too much, too fast. And it has been quite a day!’
‘You don’t have to make a decision now. But will you think about it? I have to go to a meeting tomorrow but I’m coming back to see Nicole. Can we talk again in a few days? Yes? Then goodnight, sweetheart. Goodnight.’
He tilted her head and kissed her with all of the love and devotion he could bring, a kiss from the heart. Because he was leaving her with his heart and his future in her hands.
Ella closed down the lid on Dan’s suitcase and pressed the palm of her hand flat against the cartoon characters. She had never been apart from Dan except for occasional sleepovers at the homes of school friends and now, of all times, when she needed to be with him so badly, she knew that it was time to let him go.
Time to put the past behind her.
Time to make peace with Christobal’s parents.
Of course, they were still in pain and always would be. They had lost their only son.
Ella’s heart flinched at the very idea of losing her little boy. It was too horrible to even imagine. Christobal lived on through Dan and he should spend time with his grandparents and through them come to know more about his father. The very human, talented young man she had fallen in love with.
Seb was right.
The Martinez family treasured and loved Dan and she knew that he could not be in safer or more loving care. She was the one who had to learn to accept that the only thing they had ever been concerned about was Dan’s welfare. And she totally respected that.
All she had to do was trust them to believe in her. By showing them that she was the best and only mother that Dan could want.
Milou barked a rough call to Wolfie in the garden below Dan’s window, and she looked out onto the sunlit flower beds that made up the safe, small world she had created for herself and Dan.
Was she a coward? Too terrified to leave the nest for fear of falling to the ground?
Perhaps she was. And all of the security she had worked so hard to build was simply an illusion to be blown away in the sea breeze.
In a few days Nicole would be back to celebrate her birthday—and Seb had promised to stay in France until she returned. Then she would have to face Seb and give him her answer.
Could she do it? Could she pretend that she was not thinking about him every waking second? Caring about him? Wondering what he was doing and where he was at that moment?
Because once he had made his peace with Nicole, then there would be nothing to keep him in this small French village full of painful memories.
The sound of barking echoed up the staircase and she smiled, inhaled deeply, slung an overstuffed bag over one shoulder and grabbed the small suitcase.
Dealing with the fallout from Seb was one thing, but keeping it together and helping Dan was something else altogether. Especially when they were about to spend several hours on a train taking him away from this house, which had been the only home he had ever known.
Ella deposited the luggage in the hall and strolled casually through the kitchen and leant against the doorpost, arms crossed. Dan was sitting with his back against the stone table, hardly looking at Milou and Wolfie, who were playing happily in the early morning sunshine. They were completely adorable and she knew that at any other time he would be out there rolling in the grass with them.
Dan had something in his hands that she could not make out, but as she walked casually over to him and kissed the top of his head Dan turned his face up towards her and his loss was marked so clearly that it almost broke her.
He misses Seb. So do I.
The question that had haunted her dreams played now like a record stuck on repeat. Perhaps she should have accepted Seb’s offer immediately? For Dan’s sake if not for hers? Perhaps they could have found a way to be happy in Sydney?
No. She had tried that in Barcelona and it had crushed her spirits. She had to be sure.
‘Hey, sweetie. Ready to go and see Grandma and Grandpa in Spain? Aunty Sandrine’s car will be here soon to take us to the station and we don’t want to miss the train!’
Dan sniffed and his lower lip quivered.
; Oh, no, don’t do that! Please. Or we will both start weeping.
‘Don’t want to go. Want to stay here.’
Okay. She dropped down and sat next to Dan on the stone patio so that when he snuggled next to her she could wrap one arm around his shoulders and hold him tight.
Being man of the house was tough for a six-year-old.
‘You know that Seb had to go to work. But what have you got there?’ she asked as Dan looked down at the fine chain wrapped around his fingers. The metal glinted in the sunshine. Seb’s St Christopher! The one he had shown her at the cemetery.
Ella closed her eyes and swallowed down the tears that had been threatening to force their way to the surface from the moment the tail lights of his sports car had blinked around the corner of the drive.
Seb had given her little boy something that meant a great deal to him.
‘Did Seb give you that yesterday? When he came to say goodbye?’
Dan nodded twice, then hesitated for a moment and then his words gushed out in a great rush. ‘He said that his grandma gave it to him when he had to leave and go all the way to where the kangaroos live. It kept him safe when he got scared, but now he doesn’t need it any more.’
Wide dark amber eyes looked up at her with such love and Ella struggled to keep in control.
‘In the night I got scared about the dark and the torch was downstairs and then I put this on my neck and I felt better. I didn’t get scared any more. Can I wear it all the time, Mummy? Can I?’
‘Of course. Here. Let me fasten it around your neck for you. That was very kind of Seb, wasn’t it? Because now you are ready for anything! Taxis. Fast trains! Meeting up with all of your Spanish cousins.’
She hugged Dan closer for a moment before sitting back and pretending to straighten the St Christopher on the front of his T-shirt.
‘Grandma and Grandpa are so looking forward to seeing you again. It’s been such a long time since Christmas. And you know so many Spanish words; they are going to be so impressed!’
‘I’m a bit scared about being there without you, Mummy.’
Me too.
‘And what if Milou forgets about me?’
‘Hey! Are you forgetting about the magic computer camera that Seb showed you yesterday? Well, there is one for Grandpa, so that I can talk to you and watch you on Grandpa’s computer, and Milou can see you too, every day. I promise. Okay? It’s only two weeks. Then we have the whole summer to have the best fun together. Isn’t that wonderful? Maybe Grandma and Grandpa Martinez could come and visit us here? Then you could show them your room and your school and everything. How’s that for an idea?’
He thought about it for a few seconds then nodded furiously, his interest sparked.
‘Okay. Do you remember what Nana Bailey says?’ Ella asked.
‘Time to get the show on the road?’
‘That’s right! Let’s get ready to go on the road. Hands washed!’
Ella helped Dan to his feet and watched him stroke Milou a couple of times before he walked slowly inside, dragging his feet. Milou wagged his tail in delight as Ella rubbed the special point on his ears.
‘I did not think it would ever be this hard. It hurts so much without Seb. So very much. I’m going to have to survive without him, but I don’t just know how I’m going to do it.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE hot afternoon sunshine bounced back from the rippling azure Mediterranean Sea and the shiny polished chrome trim on the stunning white luxury yacht.
Seb caught his tanned but haggard reflection in the mirrorlike glass of the main cabin window and ran both hands back through his hair.
So this was what a billionaire looked like.
He had worked all his life for this. It was the crowning achievement the like of which he could not even have dared to dream of as a boy growing up in the Languedoc.
The negotiations had lasted all of Monday and well into the night, but the deal had finally gone through. In two days, Castellano Tech would be part of PSN Media, and every one of his own employees had been guaranteed work or an amazingly generous early retirement package if they wanted it.
And he was going to become the youngest member of the PSN Media Board of Directors with the salary, status, shares and perks to match.
More. The Helene Castellano Foundation had just become a reality.
Shame that he had never felt so lost and miserable in his life.
He missed Ella and Dan so much it hurt. Perhaps that was why he had worked so feverishly all night to block out any other thoughts except work.
He had never needed people before.
Ella should be standing on this yacht right now helping him celebrate, not clean-shaven men in smart suits popping fine champagne while Matt checked that the lawyers had printed out the final contracts for him to sign.
A massive press conference with television interviews was planned for the afternoon followed by an executive party on the yacht for the new management team.
Ella was the one he wanted to share his excitement and passion. Share his life. Share his future.
It had not taken him long to realise that of course he had been kidding himself. He had expected Ella to sacrifice her friends and the pretend family she had created for herself and Dan and replace it with what? A lovely home with everything she could possibly want in education and facilities for Dan. And not one person Dan could call family. Grandparents on the other end of an Internet connection did not play football or come over for birthday parties.
He had wanted her to make all of the sacrifices and compress her life force into a pretty cage he had created for her, while he didn’t change a thing.
Ella deserved better than that no matter how much he loved her.
Love? Where had that come from?
His breath caught in his throat as the realisation of what he had done crushed down on top of him with a heavy weight.
He was in love with Ella Jayne Bailey and he loved her precious boy as though he were his own son. Luc Castellano had taught him that it was possible for a man to love someone else’s son but he had never imagined knowing how that felt firsthand. Until now.
The thought terrified him, excited him, filled his heart and head with so much light and joy that he should be floating right now.
But he had never told Ella how much he truly cared and how very special she was.
He had come close the night he gave Dan his St Christopher, but had not dared take the final step and make promises to a little boy and his mother he did not know that he could keep.
He would never do that.
So overall he had been a complete idiot.
Suddenly he was aware that Matt was nudging him and Frank Smith, CEO of PSN Media, was looking up from the long glass table, pen in hand.
In an instant he accepted the pen from Frank’s hand, scribbled his name in three places, and slapped his new boss on the shoulder.
‘Sorry, mates. Have to go. I’m late for a date.’
Ella peered over the dashboard of the very solid and safe estate car her parents-in-law had bought for her within hours of her telling them that she was finally ready to drive again, and tried not to scratch the paintwork on the bushes that lined the familiar lane from the road down to Mas Tournesol.
She had missed this lane so much it felt as though she had been away for two weeks instead of two days.
It was worth the trauma of getting behind the wheel again to be able to drive home to the house she loved so passionately, and the man she knew she was destined to be with.
She was not going to lose Sebastien. And if that meant fighting for him, then so be it. He had filled her dreams and thoughts from the moment they parted and all she longed for was to be with him again.
A familiar bark echoed along the lane and she slowed the car down to a halt. Some things had not changed!
Milou was lying in the road in his favourite spot, stretched out in the sunshine and yawning widely, then wagging his tail as fast as
he could muster as soon as he recognised her.
Ella had just bent down to stroke his head when a familiar very red but rather dented sports car raced up the lane from the house and screeched to a stop just short of Milou’s tail.
Seb jumped out and walked the few steps towards her before snatching off his sunglasses and gazing at her as though he could not believe his eyes.
They both stood in stunned silence for a few seconds, her heart racing in tune with his breathing, and then he smiled and lowered his hands to his hips. ‘I’m sorry, mademoiselle, but Milou does not speak English. Can I help you?’
His lower lip was quivering so hard as he fought to contain his laughter that she relaxed enough to pick up on the joke. Anything to ease the heartache of simply seeing his face again.
‘Hello.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I’m looking for the Sunflower House. Am I on the right road?’
‘Just carry on. It’s the end of the lane. Miss?’
‘Bailey. Ella Jayne Bailey.’
‘Hello, Miss Ella Jayne Bailey,’ he answered with a smile. They grinned at each other for a second.
‘Is Nicole here?’ she asked tentatively.
‘Just arrived.’ His hand slid across the side of her car as he stepped closer. ‘Nice wheels. Do they do it in red?’
Her eyes never left his smiling face as she replied.
‘A present from Dan’s grandparents.’ And then the intensity of his smile burnt through her hesitation and she shuffled one step nearer. ‘Is everything okay?’
Are you okay?
There was a low gravelly sigh. ‘I collected Nicole from the airport. And we talked. Really talked. I was on my way to Barcelona to convince you to change your mind.’
Ella shook her head. ‘I was on my way back from Barcelona to persuade you to change your mind. But I don’t understand. What made you reconsider?’
‘André Morel let the most precious people in his life slip away from him because he was too scared—scared of settling down as a husband. Scared of taking the responsibility. I’m not repeating that same mistake.’
The Last Summer of Being Single Page 16