East of Ashes

by Gideon Nieuwoudt

  "But sitting here moping about whether or not she's in love with you is a waste, my friend. Because it's irrelevant!"

  "Irrelevant? What could be more relevant?" Joash asked in surprise.

  "Whether she feels the same about you is beside the point. It should not influence whether you pursue her or not. If you really like her, then pursue her. If you don't, then why be in love with her?"

  Thoroughly confused, Joash just looked at him blankly.

  "Do you believe God is in control of your life? And that He has a plan?" Armand asked.

  "Yes, without a doubt," Joash replied.

  "Well then do you believe God has a wife picked out for you?"

  Joash frowned.

  "I believe that God knows what is best for us. I believe he is deeply interested in helping us make the right choices in life. But in the end it's still our choice."

  "Exactly! I agree," Armand exclaimed, "So who do you choose?"

  Joash thought about this and then replied: "I guess the right answer would be God's choice."

  Armand looked at him with a lopsided grin.

  "That's the theologically correct answer. Fine, let me ask you in a different way: do you believe God will lead you to the right woman? To the one that He picked out for you? The one He knows is the best choice you could make?"

  Joash considered it briefly, and then answered: "Yes, I do."

  "Then you have nothing to lose by telling Leala how you feel about her. Because if she doesn't love you back, then she's not God's choice for you and you're no worse off. But if she does feel the same... then you might just have found your wife."

  "But that completely ignores her feelings in the matter," Joash replied.

  "Yes, it does," Armand replied, "But you don't have any control over how she feels. You only know how you feel. Telling her how you feel about her won't hurt her. You've known her long enough now to have a very good idea of what she's about, so it's not like you're projecting this image of who you think she is and falling in love with that. If you really love her, then it's based on reality - on who she really is. No girl will hate being loved for who she is. If anyone gets hurt, it will be you but that's part of the risk you must be willing to take as a man."

  "Besides, if you don't tell her, you will be hurt. But if you do tell her, she might feel the same - isn't that a risk worth taking?"

  Joash looked at Armand for a moment and then grinned.

  "Well, if you put it like that..."

  Armand laughed and patted Joash on the back: "So then just tell her so that this old man can stop worrying!"

  Joash laughed: "Fine, fine!"

  Unbeknownst to them, Lamech had been watching them closely. Having heard every word, he was about to get up and leave when a loud knock on the front door made him stop and turn around.

  Sarah leaped to her feet and shuffled to the door, while Armand followed at a more subdued pace.

  Opening the door, she stood back as a tall, thin-faced man with a neatly trimmed beard ducked in to get out of the rain. Once inside he straightened up, gave an expressive sigh of relief and then exclaimed for all to hear: "I do believe the Lord Almighty is watering the plants today! Praise God!"

  Behind him, two muscular men entered quietly and stood behind their master, apparently oblivious to being drenched.

  "Good evening! You must be looking for a place for the night?" Sarah beamed at the newcomers.

  "Indeed! And a spot in front of that fire to warm up will be great!" the tall man answered, pointing with his head towards where Lamech was standing. Then he sniffed the air.

  "And what is that wonderful smell?" he groaned.

  "Let me show you to your rooms and then I'll fix you a bite to eat!" Sarah giggled with pleasure.

  She led the three newcomers up the stairs, while Armand took their wet coats and hanged them next to the fireplace to dry.

  A few minutes later Sarah came bouncing down the stairs to prepare some food for the visitors, followed closely by the tall stranger. He made straight for the table where Lamech had been sitting. Lamech, in no mood for company but intrigued by the newcomers, moved to the next table and sat down, his departure not even registering on the stranger’s face.

  Apparently fully aware that everybody's attention was focussed on him, the mysterious visitor made a big show of first wiping the chair with his hand and then slowly easing himself down. Turning his back towards the fire and facing the rest of the room, he smiled broadly.

  "That's much better!" he declared.

  Joash had been eyeing him without saying a word but now he got up slowly and walked over.

  "I know who you are," he said with a deep frown.

  "Do you now?" the stranger answered with seemingly little interest while his two bodyguards came and stood on either end of the table.

  "Yes," Joash breathed, "You're Gaal."

  Leala, who had walked over to stand next to Joash, eyed him questioningly.

  Gaal smiled serenely but did not say anything.

  "You're here to gather support for the Crusade, aren't you?" Joash continued, "I saw you a few days ago in Avignon, speaking about it in the town square."

  "You have me!" exclaimed Gaal, now smiling broadly. "The Lord's commandment precedes me!"

  "Really? The Lord's commandment?" Joash asked rhetorically.

  "Yes!" Gaal replied, his face glowing in rapture.

  Leala could see Joash was struggling to keep his tongue in check and she was about to pull him away, when Gaal continued.

  "But you're wrong about one thing," he chuckled.

  Intrigued by the exchange, Lamech stood up and walked closer. Joash eyed him briefly before turning his gaze back at Gaal.

  "And what would that be?" Joash asked, unable to ignore the bait.

  "I'm not here in Arles to proclaim the Lord Almighty's will," Gaal answered, watching Joash carefully, a dangerous smile playing on his lips.

  "We're just staying the night. Tomorrow we'll be on our way to Marseilles where a garrison of Crusaders have gathered to depart for the Holy Land."

  Leala gently laid a hand on Joash's arm as she realised what Gaal was doing. She was alarmed to find that Joash was quivering.

  "And why are they heading to the Holy Land?" Joash asked rhetorically. He too had realised the trap that Gaal was about to spring, but he couldn't stop the words from pouring out of his mouth.

  Gaal's smile faltered for a brief moment as a dangerous look flashed in his eyes. Then he laughed uproariously: "To free Jerusalem from the devil's followers, of course! It is God's will!"

  Seething, Joash answered in a measured voice, clipping each word as he struggled to control himself: "Conquering Jerusalem and killing innocent people is not God's will. It's the will of greedy, power-hungry men!"

  "Blasphemy!" Gaal shouted and jumped up in outrage.

  His two bodyguards rushed towards Joash but Lamech was too quick for them. In a flash he stepped in front of Joash, facing the two bodyguards who came to an abrupt standstill before him.

  Resting his hand on his sword, Lamech addressed the two guards in a cold, emotionless voice: "Step back."

  When they didn't respond immediately, he lowered his head slightly and glared at them with murderous eyes. "This is going to end badly for you," he growled.

  Unnerved by the blistering look in his eyes, they turned to their master for instructions.

  Gaal watched Lamech for a few seconds, irritated at the intrusion and then nodded at his guards.

  "And who might you be?" he asked quietly.

  Lamech ignored him and turned to Joash and Leala instead. Picking up on his unspoken words, Leala pulled Joash back.

  "Let's go," she urged softly as he reluctantly turned away from Gaal, still shaking. He allowed himself to be led away to their rooms.

  When they reached the landing at the top of the staircase, Joash spun around and growled at Lamech: "I didn't need your help!"

  Lamech merely looked at him.

 
; "I'll be in my room," he answered and disappeared down the corridor. When he reached his room, he slipped inside but didn't close the door all the way. The corridor was poorly lit; concealing Lamech where he stood at the door, waiting to see what the other two would do.

  "Come on," Leala said softly to Joash and led him to the outside balcony, closing the door behind them.

  When the door clicked shut, Lamech emerged from his room and crept towards the door like a phantom. He leaned forward and placed his ear next to the keyhole to listen.

  Sheltered from getting wet by an overhanging roof, Leala walked over to the railing and stared at the pouring rain. Joash leaned back against the door, his hands balled into fists next to his temples as he slowly shook his head.

  He closed his eyes and sighed.

  "I'm sorry," he finally said.

  "For what? Gaal? I agree with you completely!" she exclaimed, turning around to face him.

  "No, Lamech. He actually saved me back there," he said.

  "Yes, he did," she smiled, "But don't apologise to me; go talk to him."

  "I will," he answered. Then he dropped his arms to his side and let his head fall backwards.

  "It's just..." he groaned in exasperation.

  "What?" Leala asked holding her breath, hope against hope blooming in her heart as the sound of the rain drummed in her ears. Could this finally be it, she wondered.

  Joash didn't disappoint.

  "I see the way he looks at you," he groaned, "and I want to smash his head in!"

  His words sent a shockwave through Leala as her world wobbled on its axis.

  "What do you mean?" she managed.

  Joash faltered slightly, worried that he had misread her. But he decided to soldier on.

  "He looks at you as if you're his last chance."

  "Last chance of what?" Leala asked, confusion written on her beautiful face.

  "At life, at purpose - everything!" Joash exclaimed.

  She knew that, as true as his words were, he was skirting around the real issue.

  "Ignoring for a moment the fact that I don't want to be anybody's purpose," she said, a slight tremble of irritation registering in her voice, "is that really what's bothering you?"

  "No..."

  "Then what is it Joash?" Leala almost pleaded.

  Joash looked at her, desperately fighting off the panic that threatened to engulf him. Just tell her you idiot, he told himself. His ears burned as the jealousy ate at him. Resigning to the moment, he spoke from the heart.

  "I think he's falling in love with you," he said. Swallowing, he closed his eyes and continued: "And if he's who you want, then that's fine."

  "But?" she asked softly, barely able to hear her own words as her heart pounded in her ears.

  "But I wish you'd want me," he whispered.

  Light exploded in Leala's heart as he said the words she had so longed to hear. Tears began rolling down her cheeks.

  With unstable legs, Joash took a tentative step towards her.

  "Does that mean...?" he stammered as he reached out his hands to her. Leala took them and allowed him to pull her closer.

  "Yes, silly," she beamed, blinded by tears of joy.

  Joash reached out with his one hand to cup her face, wiping her tears away with his thumb.

  "But..." he whispered, "I thought..."

  Then, unable to hold himself back any longer, he pulled her close and kissed her softly.

  Joash drank her in as she put her arms around his neck. It felt like he was drowning in the smell of her, the taste of her. His mind eased into silence as he was lost in the embrace, swimming in soft folds of pure bliss.

  Outside the door, Lamech guessed what had happened. He bit down on his fist to keep himself from screaming in fury. Fighting the anger with every single part of his being, he struggled to clear his head from rolling thunder clouds.

  I'll have to put an end to this right now, he thought brutally. But how?

  His brain worked overtime, analysing every possible scenario. It was difficult to focus properly through the fury enveloping him, but he forced himself to shut it out and think.

  If he killed Joash, Leala would never forgive him; much less give her heart to him. Whatever he did would have to make her run to him; not away.

  Even as his murderous thoughts rolled through his mind, some faint part of him registered what he was doing and tried to steer away from it. For a brief moment a crack of light appeared, trying to spear the darkness, but Lamech willed it away.

  Then, as if someone held up a sign pointing the way, the confrontation between Joash and Gaal flashed in his mind. Yes... Lamech smiled slightly in the darkness as the storm inside him gave way to a horrifying plan. All he needed was one of Joash's weapons...

  His dark thoughts were interrupted by a searing scream.

  Lamech hesitated for the briefest of moments, and then jumped into action. He ran back to his room on the tips of his toes, trying not to make a sound. Reaching his room, he slipped in and closed the door quietly.

  He heard the balcony door swing open and Joash and Leala running down the corridor. A few steps before they reached his room, Lamech swung open his door and stepped into the corridor. Leala and Joash came to a halt next to him.

  "What was that?" Leala asked, drawing up close behind Joash who looked questioningly at Lamech.

  "It came from downstairs," Lamech answered, his plan suddenly taking shape and colour.

  Joash and Leala both turned their heads to look towards the staircase. There, Lamech thought as Joash's dagger flashed in his belt.

  "Let's go!" Lamech said urgently, pushing Joash towards the staircase. In the flurry of movement that ensued, he deftly slipped Joash's dagger from his belt and tucked it away in his own, rearranging his clothing to hide it.

  Joash, unaware of what happened, ran towards the stairs, taking them three at a time as he stormed into the common room.

  Sarah was standing to the side, screaming as Armand and one of Gaal's bodyguards fended off black-clad, masked men with their swords. Gaal's other bodyguard lay in a pool of blood at their feet, while Gaal clambered desperately over the tables in an attempt to get away from the attackers.

  Joash sprang into action and stormed towards the fight, closely followed by Lamech. Drawing their swords at the same time, they thrust them through the bellies of the closest attackers.

  With his free hand, Joash instinctively reached for his dagger as Lamech slipped a short, curved blade from his belt and slashed another attacker across the throat, while pulling his sword free from his first victim.

  I must have dropped it in Leala's room, Joash thought when he couldn't find his dagger. Pushing it to the back of his mind, he sprang at the next attacker.

  Ducking, twirling, slashing and stabbing, Joash and Lamech cut their way through a dozen men. Lamech, blood smeared on his face, seemed to be driven by an unseen demon as he brutally hacked his opponents apart.

  Joash was trying to stay with him, knowing that if one of them got flanked it would be the end of them. But Lamech was throwing himself at the attackers in a thunderclap of fury.

  "The back door!" Armand shouted as the last attacker finally dropped. "Some of them could be heading to the back door! Go!"

  Joash and Lamech sprinted to the back of the inn, where Leala was standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching the battle in horror.

  Two men came crashing through the back door, one immediately making for Leala.

  To Lamech it seemed like time slowed down to a crawl as the unfolding of events hung in the balance. Leala turned her head slowly towards the black-clad man storming towards her, sword raised as he roared with blood-lust.

  Screaming, Joash hurled his sword across the room. It turned in the air twice before driving into the attacker's chest just as he reached Leala. The force of the throw knocked the man backwards, sending him crashing into the wall behind him.

  He crumbled to the ground, coughed up blood once and then slumped s
ideways, the sword still lodged in his chest. Joash spared him no thought as he ran to Leala and embraced her tightly.

  Killing the other attacker with a duck and a thrust to his midsection, Lamech turned to look at Joash's victim in astonishment. Then he looked at Joash and Leala, who had eased to the ground where they sat in a huddle, Leala's head cradled on Joash's shoulder and her arms locked tightly around his neck. Joash stroked her hair while he whispered soothing words in her ear. She nodded a few times, sobs tearing through her.